Am I over reacting?

ger vallely

I am a homeowner( whenever the mortgage is finished!). The house next door was bought last year. A girl who works in a local restaurant, she let's out two rooms to friends. I was looking at Instagram and look and behold there is a photo on her mates public page taken in my back garden, right up by my back door, of a wall mural my daughter painted. The photo was taken months ago, late at night. I am fuming. I do not know the mate, he was in my garden, my private space, late at night, putting my private property up on his public social media page. I have intend speaking to her about this but trying to gauge if I am over reacting or not. I don't think I am. The boundaries of what is acceptable seems to be changing constantly due to social media, people convince themselves certain things are ok when they actually are not. This was my daughter's personal design, and not for strangers to decide to make it public. The relationship with these neighbours is not amazing, I would not be expecting to see them or their friend in my garden late at night if I looked out my bedroom window. Any thoughts?

Gumbo

They shouldn't be in your garden. Its trespassing. Full stop.
With regards to personal mural design, and all that, ignore that emotional side of things.

Focus on the trespassing onto your property.

ger vallely

Yeah, I agree with that. They are all adults and should not need to be educated on the fact that this was trespass. I am pretty sure if she opened her curtains at night and I was standing by her back door she would have something to say. I do not know this guy, he could be anyone, on my property without my permission.

SusieBlue

Just say to her that its come to your attention that her friends have been posting pictures trespassing on your garden on social media, that this is unacceptable and that you'll be keeping a closer eye, and any further breaches of privacy will result in the Gardaí being called.
Tell her you want the photo removed immediately.

Don't admit to or volunteer that you were looking on the friends social media account, I know its public and free for anyone to view but if she thinks you've been snooping to keep tabs on her she might think you're creepy, and you'll lose the moral high ground.
If she asks how you know or tries to deny it, give a vague answer about a friend seeing it and sending you a screenshot, and that you have proof.

anewme

Also, make sure you take a screen shot of it before it's removed, in case you need it again if issues escalate.

I'd be fuming OP and I would be assertive approaching her (I'm being nice here)

Suttree

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

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Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

Irrelevant.

If an instagram account is public anyone could be looking at the content.

el Fenomeno

Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

Completely irrelevant, I would imagine.

Suttree

Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

Irrelevant. Someone tresspssed on her property. I wouldn't personally go to the gaurds but passing on a word of warning not to do it again wouldn't be over reacting.

listermint

Are you sure they were in your back garden. There are various phones now that can take an image like that from 500 meters away . Never mind 1 meter.

drunkmonkey

Say nothing they could go on a mad one and accuse you of anything. Tell the guards they were in there trying to find the knickers you stole off the line or something. Let it slide, do a privacy job on the back garden.

ger vallely

listermint wrote: »

Are you sure they were in your back garden. There are various phones now that can take an image like that from 500 meters away . Never mind 1 meter.

The angle the photo is taken from can only be taken from standing directly by my back door.

ger vallely

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Say nothing they could go on a mad one and accuse you of anything. Tell the guards they were in there trying to find the knickers you stole off the line or something. Let it slide, do a privacy job on the back garden.

I see where you are coming from but I disagree. I do have the screenshot, it is of a particular area in my garden, an art feature, if they were upset about knicker stealing or such they wouldn't have had a steady hand to take the picture.

ger vallely

anewme wrote: »

Also, make sure you take a screen shot of it before it's removed, in case you need it again if issues escalate.

I'd be fuming OP and I would be assertive approaching her (I'm being nice here)

I took the screenshot straight away. I do intend to approach her but just wanted feedback as to what others thought. Thank you!

SusieBlue

ger vallely wrote: »

I see where you are coming from but I disagree. I do have the screenshot, it is of a particular area in my garden, an art feature, if they were upset about knicker stealing or such they wouldn't have had a steady hand to take the picture.

You have nothing to fear, it isn't against the law to confront a neighbour about unacceptable.
Just be firm but measured, don't lose the plot at her but assert your position.

My guess is she'll sh*t herself and you won't be bothered by such antics again.

ger vallely

Suttree wrote: »

Why were you on her friends Instagram?

It's a public page, loosely connected to a local restaurant. Plus, that is irrelevant to their trespassing.

Dial Hard

ger vallely wrote: »

I see where you are coming from but I disagree. I do have the screenshot, it is of a particular area in my garden, an art feature, if they were upset about knicker stealing or such they wouldn't have had a steady hand to take the picture.

While I understand why you're annoyed (and probably would be too in the same position), the illogic of this statement is almost comical.

ger vallely

Dial Hard wrote: »

While I understand why you're annoyed (and probably would be too in the same position), the illogic of this statement is almost comical.

Ah come on- I was flippin joking!

drunkmonkey

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

afkasurfjunkie

Is the pic complementary of the artwork or is it taking the mick? Why not just leave a comment under it saying ‘gosh I don’t remember this photo being taken in my garden?’ Isn’t my daughter a wonderful artist!

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drunkmonkey wrote: »

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

Its the trespassing thats the issue, not the picture.

Presumably the OP would be just as pissed off if she looked out the kitchen and the neighbour was standing in the garden looking in the window at her.

I know I would.

SusieBlue

drunkmonkey wrote: »

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

The trespassing is the problem, they had no right to be on his property, let alone taking pictures to commemorate the fact.

It happened once, it could happen again. OP has a right to peacefully enjoy his home, the possibility of them creeping in the garden is interfering with that.
He needs to nip it in the bud now before they take any more liberties.

Taiga

I'm surprised at the posters saying leave it be tbh. Why should the op leave it be? I'd be freaked out if I saw someone had posted a pic on social media of them in my garden at night. Not the social media aspect, but the fact they were on my property, at night and then had the gumption to post a pic on social media. Doesn't matter how the op came across the pic, I wouldn't be explaining myself, they were the ones out of line here.

Don't lose your cool or fret too much op, but I'd definitely be having a word and taking no sh1t. They probably had a few too many and didn't think. Disrespectful fools.

Samuel T. Cogley

Hop over the fence one evening with a picnic and when challenged bring it up.

Taiga

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Hop over the fence one evening with a picnic and when challenged bring it up.

This made me lol

ger vallely

drunkmonkey wrote: »

It's only a picture of a wall mural. Leave it. Take the compliment as that's what taking the picture was.

And to the others who feel I should take the compliment and just leave it- not a chance. They trespassed into my private property, at night. If they liked it that much they could've knocked at the front door, mentioned that they had seen it from their friends house and could they take the photo. If I had've been in the kitchen at the time and opened the blinds, seen a strange man standing in my garden I would've freaked, hit him with the hurl, rung the gards, set the bloody dog on him, who knows?

Wabbit Ears

To be honest I'd say it casually enough with an nitty at all subtle warning but I wouldn't be overly confrontational about it.

At the end if the day they did bad but it was very complementary to the kids artwork. If I showed a pic like that to my daughter she would be over the moon that someone loved her picture.

ger vallely

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

To be honest I'd say it casually enough with an nitty at all subtle warning but I wouldn't be overly confrontational about it.

At the end if the day they did bad but it was very complementary to the kids artwork. If I showed a pic like that to my daughter she would be over the moon that someone loved her picture.

I get what you are saying but my daughter is an adult, it's not a kids sketch. As previously pointed out, the fact of the art is secondary, it's the trespassing that is an issue that needs to be addressed and stopped.

CoffeeBean2

SusieBlue wrote: »

The trespassing is the problem, they had no right to be on his property, let alone taking pictures to commemorate the fact..

From what I understand, and I'm no legal expert. It is only considered trespass if there is an intention to commit a crime. Otherwise the postman would be trespassing multiple times a day.

I've had a similar conversation with the Gardii before, and the response I got was that she (the Garda) would have no problem with a neighbor coming unannounced into her back garden.

My mistake was failing to ask that Garda to note it down in the system, as this conversation was completely forgotten down the road when I needed it.

CoffeeBean2

SusieBlue wrote: »

You have nothing to fear, it isn't against the law to confront a neighbour about unacceptable.
Just be firm but measured, don't lose the plot at her but assert your position.

My guess is she'll sh*t herself and you won't be bothered by such antics again.

Oh and I would record the conversation and have a second party present, so things can not be lied about later.

Browney7

Highly unlikely but picture could have been taken by a drone also