Is 200 enough of a wedding present from a couple?

freshpopcorn · 13-06-2018 11:36pm

Most people I know who got married never really expected €200 off everybody even when it was the gift they gave.
They knew people had different circumstances/etc. However the one thing they were a little disappointed with was receiving sets of wine glasses that were in a tatty box that were obviously pulled out of a press!

Jeff2 · 13-06-2018 11:37pm

Pelvis wrote: »

This gift giving ****e for weddings is ridiculous.

Totally agree and grown up kid expecting Birthday and Christmas presents.

fritzelly · 13-06-2018 11:47pm

Jeff2 wrote: »

Totally agree and grown up kid expecting Birthday and Christmas presents.

Lucky to get a card!

pgj2015 · 13-06-2018 11:48pm

I usually give 500 euro, i would be ashamed to turn up with anything less, the bride and groom would probably think i hated them.

Hitman3000 · 13-06-2018 11:59pm

pgj2015 wrote:

I usually give 500 euro, i would be ashamed to turn up with anything less, the bride and groom would probably think i hated them.

I believe you....

Sephiroth_dude · 14-06-2018 12:02am

50 Euro and a bottle of champagne,sorted.

Couples giving out lists for presents to get them is ridiculous too.

Robsweezie · 14-06-2018 12:09am

200 is no measure of a friendship's worth.

It is, however, a measure of the character of the couple in deeming it '' not enough''

AllForIt · 14-06-2018 12:21am

I don't see why one is expected to give a gift at all. The person who attends the wedding is the person who is going to all the trouble - not the ppl who are getting married.

The last wedding I went too and it will be my last was my brothers. It struck me that it was me that had to travel across the country to get there and turn up out of a sense of duty. I didn't care less if I went at all. I hate the long long Irish way of doing wedding anyway. And I got no thanks for turning up, as if it was my duty for doing so.

freshpopcorn · 14-06-2018 12:33am

AllForIt wrote: »

I don't see why one is expected to give a gift at all. The person who attends the wedding is the person who is going to all the trouble - not the ppl who are getting married.

The last wedding I went too and it will be my last was my brothers. It struck me that it was me that had to travel across the country to get there and turn up out of a sense of duty. I didn't care less if I went at all. I hate the long long Irish way of doing wedding anyway. And I got no thanks for turning up, as if it was my duty for doing so.

You were invited to the wedding it wasn't a summons!

demanufactured · 14-06-2018 12:37am

Bahahahha
200?
Give them 100 max

AllForIt · 14-06-2018 12:58am

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You were invited to the wedding it wasn't a summons!

HOHO, yes it was.

Imagine if I didn't turn up. Gossip gossip.

retro:electro · 14-06-2018 1:08am

God I hate weddings

14-06-2018 4:22am

I'm expected to fly around the world for a late November wedding in an expensive castle. The trip would cost me and the girlfriend around 3k.

If I had to give 200 on top, I'd laugh. I'm likely not going anyway since I wouldn't even be there for Christmas.

con___manx1 · 14-06-2018 4:39am

The last wedding i went to i looked up the wedding prices per head at the hotel. We gave 25 euro more each than what it cost them to invite us 150 euro. I think that was fair.
I hate being invited to weddings now. I had to use up hollidays in work for two this year and a stag. This ****e about giving money is an irish thing Other countrys dont do it.

Graces7 · 14-06-2018 5:21am

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Got married a few years ago loads of envelopes flying around like the scene in Goodfellas but our favourite gift was a handmade embroidered framed message that one of her mates who hadn't a pot to p1ss in gave us easy to put cash in an envelope but that took time and it meant a lot

That is what I used to do when I had friends getting married. I am a serious crafter and that was always welcomed.

Followed later by baby knitting of course

evolving_doors · 14-06-2018 6:22am

Yes

theteal · 14-06-2018 6:39am

It’s an invitation to their party. You do not have to pay to fund their party, that very much works against the idea of an invitation. Give what you can afford, don’t give anything if you can’t afford it. Have a bit of a backbone and don’t follow the “done thing” as in most scenarios the done thing is fairly stupid. It can cost quite a bit of money to attend weddings with travel, accom, babysitting etc. so I can’t fathom why people think it’s compulsory to contribute an envelope of money as well.

And once again I’m a little annoyed that this question needs to be asked. Making people feel uncomfortable and under pressure. Bloody wedding industry.

erica74 · 14-06-2018 6:44am

Each person/couple should give exactly what they can afford. If someone can only afford to give a card, that's fine, if someone can afford to give €200, that's fine. It is entirely unacceptable and pure greed for any couple getting married expecting a certain amount from their guests and it's disgusting when couples getting married spend a certain amount on their wedding based off of projected earnings from the wedding gifts.

Also, people need to stop going to weddings that they don't want to go to because all they seem to do is complain about going to the wedding that they didn't want to go to

Annasopra · 14-06-2018 6:50am

Absolutely ridiculous to suggest 200 is stingy

lawred2 · 14-06-2018 7:00am

AllForIt wrote: »

I don't see why one is expected to give a gift at all. The person who attends the wedding is the person who is going to all the trouble - not the ppl who are getting married.

The last wedding I went too and it will be my last was my brothers. It struck me that it was me that had to travel across the country to get there and turn up out of a sense of duty. I didn't care less if I went at all. I hate the long long Irish way of doing wedding anyway. And I got no thanks for turning up, as if it was my duty for doing so.

You didn't want to be at your own brother's wedding?

Roger Hassenforder · 14-06-2018 7:31am

200/couple is plenty.

Your Face · 14-06-2018 7:39am

There were some weddings I've been at, I would have paid 200 to stay at home.

14-06-2018 7:57am

Irish people can be such judgemental sh'its when it comes to stuff like this even though they would deny it. I would have thought 150 for a couple was the standard, 200 if you were close. 100 for a single person (should be about 80 but everyone says it's awkward giving that amount so they have to pay a premium for beng single). As the OP talked about, the wedding party wouldn't even "need" to extract as much money from guests if they didn't have as much unnecessary stuff involved with the wedding. Everyones aspirations and idea of what their life "should be like" in this country are too high, hence the massive costs of houses, weddings, communions, 21sts, funerals, living a "basic" life in general. My parents got married in the 80s and their wedding was nothing like what people have nowadays, to understate things!

Eggs For Dinner · 14-06-2018 8:03am

Most couples getting married these days are established in life (not saying financially well off). Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money. Weddings with an entry fee are beyond tacky IMO and really only say that the guest is not a true friend that you want there to share your big day

Tom Mann Centuria · 14-06-2018 8:04am

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Most couples getting married these days are established in life (not saying financially well off). Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money. Weddings with an entry fee are beyond tacky IMO and really only say that the guest is not a true friend that you want there to share your big day

Perfect response, completely agree.

facehugger99 · 14-06-2018 8:09am

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Most couples getting married these days are established in life (not saying financially well off). Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money.

Most couples getting married would prefer cash.

ouxbbkqtswdfaw · 14-06-2018 8:14am

In fact, all gifts should be cash. Let the recipient buy what they want.

First Up · 14-06-2018 8:24am

Who is getting married? Old school chum? Work colleague? Distant cousin? Sister?

It makes a difference to what is expected (and appropriate).

Billy86 · 14-06-2018 8:31am

bear1 wrote: »

200e seems reasonable to me, should people bankrupt themselves in order to meet the nonsense that is a wedding party?

Should everyone lose out on 200 blips for a big show that really only one person at the whole event was really interested in?

Eggs For Dinner · 14-06-2018 8:42am

facehugger99 wrote: »

Most couples getting married would prefer cash.

I think you are missing my point. Any gift should not be the focus of a guest attending your wedding.

Eggs For Dinner · 14-06-2018 8:43am

Billy86 wrote: »

Should everyone lose out on 200 blips for a big show that really only one person at the whole event was really interested in?

Exactly

facehugger99 · 14-06-2018 9:48am

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

I think you are missing my point.

Don't think so.

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money.

topper75 · 14-06-2018 9:57am

I reckon €150 to be the going couple rate.
€200 is quite generous.

wakka12 · 14-06-2018 10:04am

200 is so much , to go to a wedding of somebody who you consider a friend and presumably is kind and enjoys your company rather than your money? I can't believe the amount of people saying 200 is just 'fine' or even too little, I hope when my friends are around marrying age we won't all be judging each other on how much money we give to each other as gifts at our weddings

Eggs For Dinner · 14-06-2018 10:35am

facehugger99 wrote: »

Don't think so.

OK, I'll try and explain my point of view again. You say most couples prefer cash. I contend that the bride and groom shouldn't take in to consideration ANY form of gift when inviting someone to their wedding. To go further and have a preference for money is reducing a lifetime celebration down to a commercial enterprise

fash · 14-06-2018 10:51am

€100 per person is my standard - more than covers your cost at the wedding. For close people I also try to give a "thoughtful" gift on top- could be something cheap- a book I think they might like etc. - so that they have something to remember the day.

14-06-2018 11:38am

AllForIt wrote: »

I don't see why one is expected to give a gift at all. The person who attends the wedding is the person who is going to all the trouble - not the ppl who are getting married.

You have obviously never organised a wedding going by this statement.

facehugger99 · 14-06-2018 11:53am

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

OK, I'll try and explain my point of view again. You say most couples prefer cash. I contend that the bride and groom shouldn't take in to consideration ANY form of gift when inviting someone to their wedding.

Sure, but i'm more interested in reality rather than the world as you'd like it to be.

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

To go further and have a preference for money is reducing a lifetime celebration down to a commercial enterprise

:rolleyes: yeah, it's not though really.

Cash would be the preference of most couples.

deletthis · 14-06-2018 12:03pm

Went to her friends wedding recently. Met the friend once 4 years ago, never met the fella. She was adamant we had to give €150 each so by the time you've done gifts, suit, dress, hotel, travel and drinks in the eve we'd easily done €800 between us.
Call me miserable but we could have gone on holiday for that. Absolutely mental. Not to mention 2 days of pretending to be pals with people I've never met.

murpho999 · 14-06-2018 12:19pm

fash wrote: »

€100 per person is my standard - more than covers your cost at the wedding. For close people I also try to give a "thoughtful" gift on top- could be something cheap- a book I think they might like etc. - so that they have something to remember the day.

Why do you have to cover the cost of the wedding?

It was the couple's decision to get married. The cost is not your concern or responsibility.

Dublinflyer · 14-06-2018 12:26pm

When we got married a few years ago we had about 40 people at the wedding and made it clear on the invites that the only gift we wanted was for them to turn up and enjoy the day. You would be amazed how many people still gave us something, it was lovely but a few weeks later we did ask why they felt the need to give something and the general answer was that they did not want to be the one person who did not have a gift on the day.

ixoy · 14-06-2018 12:28pm

If it's €100 a head then a lot of people have been thinking we're very stingy.. That's more for close family. Anyone else got less from us. It's expensive enough already with accommodation, transportation, etc.

screamer · 14-06-2018 12:31pm

I like to pay my way and give a bit extra, 200 for regular hotel venue. I'd give 300 if a posher venue, just because I know it costs more. Each to their own that's just my rule for me.

14-06-2018 12:33pm

Got 2 invites same month last year. Both nephews. One stipulated that the only present necessary was our presence. The other asked for money! I can’t remember the exact wording as it went in the shredder immediately.

theyoungchap · 14-06-2018 12:35pm

screamer wrote: »

I like to pay my way and give a bit extra, 200 for regular hotel venue. I'd give 300 if a posher venue, just because I know it costs more. Each to their own that's just my rule for me.

I don't care where they book they get the same gift. A posh venue is their own choice so I ain't subsidising it. But like you say, each to their own!

In my experience, nobody gave us toasters/kettles/etc - the gifts given were well thought out and we liked some of them more than the card + cash. At least we will look back in 50 years and say "that person gave us that".

Billy86 · 14-06-2018 12:43pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Got 2 invites same month last year. Both nephews. One stipulated that the only present necessary was our presence. The other asked for money! I can’t remember the exact wording as it went in the shredder immediately.

So give one money and not the other (or don't go), just not in the order requested.

theyoungchap · 14-06-2018 12:50pm

Billy86 wrote: »

So give one money and not the other (or don't go), just not in the order requested.

Would do the same. Cheeky little b*****x to say he only wanted money!

_Dara_ · 14-06-2018 1:07pm

Dublinflyer wrote: »

When we got married a few years ago we had about 40 people at the wedding and made it clear on the invites that the only gift we wanted was for them to turn up and enjoy the day. You would be amazed how many people still gave us something, it was lovely but a few weeks later we did ask why they felt the need to give something and the general answer was that they did not want to be the one person who did not have a gift on the day.

Yeah, there’s a lot of social pressure behind the whole wedding gift thing. Actually, there’s a lot of social pressure around weddings in general. The amount of fretting seen in the wedding forum down the years demonstrates this.

14-06-2018 1:13pm

screamer wrote: »

I like to pay my way and give a bit extra, 200 for regular hotel venue. I'd give 300 if a posher venue, just because I know it costs more. Each to their own that's just my rule for me.

Do you have this thought process when it comes to other things?

somesoldiers · 14-06-2018 1:30pm

8 of her relatives all clubbed together to buy us a BBQ for our wedding some years back after all attending the full wedding. I was expecting this fancy one stead of that we got a e50 job from Woodies between the lot of them

Personally e150-200 max for a couple though the last few weddings, not close family, we have been invited to we had to decline as couldn't justify the expense of the entire day

Is 200 enough of a wedding present from a couple?

Comments