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Is 200 enough of a wedding present from a couple?

Dr_serious2

On another thread a poster was saying that 200 was a stingy wedding gift from a couple and that they shouldn't bother going if they are not willing to give much more than that.

Does anyone else think this is nonsense? Anyone who organises a sensible wedding and doesn't spend thousands on chocolate fountains, Baby Bentleys for the page boy, harpists in the lobby, cigar stands, fireworks, free cocktails and personalised napkins will get a good proportion of their outlay back if every couple gave them 200. Anyway, it's not about the money, it's about the love. Supposedly.

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AllForIt

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You were invited to the wedding it wasn't a summons!

HOHO, yes it was.

Imagine if I didn't turn up. Gossip gossip.

retro:electro

God I hate weddings

[Deleted User]

I'm expected to fly around the world for a late November wedding in an expensive castle. The trip would cost me and the girlfriend around 3k.

If I had to give 200 on top, I'd laugh. I'm likely not going anyway since I wouldn't even be there for Christmas.

con___manx1

The last wedding i went to i looked up the wedding prices per head at the hotel. We gave 25 euro more each than what it cost them to invite us 150 euro. I think that was fair.
I hate being invited to weddings now. I had to use up hollidays in work for two this year and a stag. This ****e about giving money is an irish thing Other countrys dont do it.

Graces7

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Got married a few years ago loads of envelopes flying around like the scene in Goodfellas but our favourite gift was a handmade embroidered framed message that one of her mates who hadn't a pot to p1ss in gave us easy to put cash in an envelope but that took time and it meant a lot

That is what I used to do when I had friends getting married. I am a serious crafter and that was always welcomed.

Followed later by baby knitting of course

evolving_doors

Yes

theteal

It’s an invitation to their party. You do not have to pay to fund their party, that very much works against the idea of an invitation. Give what you can afford, don’t give anything if you can’t afford it. Have a bit of a backbone and don’t follow the “done thing” as in most scenarios the done thing is fairly stupid. It can cost quite a bit of money to attend weddings with travel, accom, babysitting etc. so I can’t fathom why people think it’s compulsory to contribute an envelope of money as well.

And once again I’m a little annoyed that this question needs to be asked. Making people feel uncomfortable and under pressure. Bloody wedding industry.

erica74

Each person/couple should give exactly what they can afford. If someone can only afford to give a card, that's fine, if someone can afford to give €200, that's fine. It is entirely unacceptable and pure greed for any couple getting married expecting a certain amount from their guests and it's disgusting when couples getting married spend a certain amount on their wedding based off of projected earnings from the wedding gifts.

Also, people need to stop going to weddings that they don't want to go to because all they seem to do is complain about going to the wedding that they didn't want to go to

Annasopra

Absolutely ridiculous to suggest 200 is stingy

lawred2

AllForIt wrote: »

I don't see why one is expected to give a gift at all. The person who attends the wedding is the person who is going to all the trouble - not the ppl who are getting married.

The last wedding I went too and it will be my last was my brothers. It struck me that it was me that had to travel across the country to get there and turn up out of a sense of duty. I didn't care less if I went at all. I hate the long long Irish way of doing wedding anyway. And I got no thanks for turning up, as if it was my duty for doing so.

You didn't want to be at your own brother's wedding?

Roger Hassenforder

200/couple is plenty.

Your Face

There were some weddings I've been at, I would have paid 200 to stay at home.

[Deleted User]

Irish people can be such judgemental sh'its when it comes to stuff like this even though they would deny it. I would have thought 150 for a couple was the standard, 200 if you were close. 100 for a single person (should be about 80 but everyone says it's awkward giving that amount so they have to pay a premium for beng single). As the OP talked about, the wedding party wouldn't even "need" to extract as much money from guests if they didn't have as much unnecessary stuff involved with the wedding. Everyones aspirations and idea of what their life "should be like" in this country are too high, hence the massive costs of houses, weddings, communions, 21sts, funerals, living a "basic" life in general. My parents got married in the 80s and their wedding was nothing like what people have nowadays, to understate things!

Eggs For Dinner

Most couples getting married these days are established in life (not saying financially well off). Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money. Weddings with an entry fee are beyond tacky IMO and really only say that the guest is not a true friend that you want there to share your big day

Tom Mann Centuria

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Most couples getting married these days are established in life (not saying financially well off). Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money. Weddings with an entry fee are beyond tacky IMO and really only say that the guest is not a true friend that you want there to share your big day

Perfect response, completely agree.

facehugger99

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Most couples getting married these days are established in life (not saying financially well off). Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money.

Most couples getting married would prefer cash.

ouxbbkqtswdfaw

In fact, all gifts should be cash. Let the recipient buy what they want.

First Up

Who is getting married? Old school chum? Work colleague? Distant cousin? Sister?

It makes a difference to what is expected (and appropriate).

Billy86

bear1 wrote: »

200e seems reasonable to me, should people bankrupt themselves in order to meet the nonsense that is a wedding party?

Should everyone lose out on 200 blips for a big show that really only one person at the whole event was really interested in?

Eggs For Dinner

facehugger99 wrote: »

Most couples getting married would prefer cash.

I think you are missing my point. Any gift should not be the focus of a guest attending your wedding.

Eggs For Dinner

Billy86 wrote: »

Should everyone lose out on 200 blips for a big show that really only one person at the whole event was really interested in?

Exactly

facehugger99

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

I think you are missing my point.

Don't think so.

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Wedding gifts should be personal items, not money.

topper75

I reckon €150 to be the going couple rate.
€200 is quite generous.

wakka12

200 is so much , to go to a wedding of somebody who you consider a friend and presumably is kind and enjoys your company rather than your money? I can't believe the amount of people saying 200 is just 'fine' or even too little, I hope when my friends are around marrying age we won't all be judging each other on how much money we give to each other as gifts at our weddings

Eggs For Dinner

facehugger99 wrote: »

Don't think so.

OK, I'll try and explain my point of view again. You say most couples prefer cash. I contend that the bride and groom shouldn't take in to consideration ANY form of gift when inviting someone to their wedding. To go further and have a preference for money is reducing a lifetime celebration down to a commercial enterprise

fash

€100 per person is my standard - more than covers your cost at the wedding. For close people I also try to give a "thoughtful" gift on top- could be something cheap- a book I think they might like etc. - so that they have something to remember the day.

[Deleted User]

AllForIt wrote: »

I don't see why one is expected to give a gift at all. The person who attends the wedding is the person who is going to all the trouble - not the ppl who are getting married.

You have obviously never organised a wedding going by this statement.

facehugger99

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

OK, I'll try and explain my point of view again. You say most couples prefer cash. I contend that the bride and groom shouldn't take in to consideration ANY form of gift when inviting someone to their wedding.

Sure, but i'm more interested in reality rather than the world as you'd like it to be.

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

To go further and have a preference for money is reducing a lifetime celebration down to a commercial enterprise

:rolleyes: yeah, it's not though really.

Cash would be the preference of most couples.

deletthis

Went to her friends wedding recently. Met the friend once 4 years ago, never met the fella. She was adamant we had to give €150 each so by the time you've done gifts, suit, dress, hotel, travel and drinks in the eve we'd easily done €800 between us.
Call me miserable but we could have gone on holiday for that. Absolutely mental. Not to mention 2 days of pretending to be pals with people I've never met.

murpho999

fash wrote: »

€100 per person is my standard - more than covers your cost at the wedding. For close people I also try to give a "thoughtful" gift on top- could be something cheap- a book I think they might like etc. - so that they have something to remember the day.

Why do you have to cover the cost of the wedding?

It was the couple's decision to get married. The cost is not your concern or responsibility.