Your first time...for everything...

abouttobebanned · 31-05-2010 3:34pm #1

...and anything

Kiss

It lasted 12 seconds in the pissing rain and I was 12. I was an incredible frigid, which I find hard to comprehend now and I'm also not too sure at which point I got out of that phase. Anyway, 12 seconds in the rain in an alleyway. I spent many weeks making up excuses as to not do it again, and then many years making excuses as to why I did it with the wrong people.

Masturbation

Not many people will remember their first time. But I do. It was Christmas Eve...and I had to be ridiculously young because I was so excited about Santa Claus coming that I couldn't sleep...and as we can all testify to, masturbation is a great sedative. Especially if you do it three times. I was that excited about the arrival of Father Christmas.

Sex

I lost my virginity in a forest in courtown. A place I have never visited since. (I presume there's some sort of plaque up). The condoms were purchased in a local bar. The girl? A born again christian from Northern Ireland who didn't believe in sex before marriage. She went on to get married some years later to a man who also didn't believe in sex before marriage and was convinced his new bride shared the same beliefs. Not only did she indulge in sex before marriage, she also indulged in a lot of other scenarios, some of which I still have photographic evidence of. Which makes me wonder if I'm in possession of child porn now..as she was 15 at the time. (Mind you I ripped up the photos years ago - some kind of post masturbation guilt I can only presume - but i stumbled upon the negatives recently during an attic clear out. Any guards reading this, I also burned them....)

Film in the Cinema

The Neverending Story. There's no story there really.

Feel free to add more!

4zn76tysfajdxp · 31-05-2010 3:38pm

I remember the time I read this thread. I was underwhelmed.

mikom · 31-05-2010 3:41pm

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Masturbation
The Neverending Story.

Fixed your post.

ejmaztec · 31-05-2010 3:41pm

Jolie Prehistoric Lambaste wrote: »

I remember the time I read this thread. I was underwhelmed.

Which thread?

Luno · 31-05-2010 3:42pm

Awkward!

Doyler92 · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

Captain Darling wrote: »

Kissing, ****, sex and then the neverending story?

Thats my fcuking life you're describing!

Ah Captain, my long lost brother. I've been searching for you for quite a while now.

cherryghost · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

Kiss

Dunno. Proper kiss, must've been 11 or 12. Behind a white transit van with someone who's turned out to be a right bitch

Masturbation

Anyone who actually remembers this must have a seriously boring life tbh.

Sex

15, girlfriends bed. It was uncomfortable and sweaty. Always regretted it

Film in the Cinema

Not 100% sure on this, but it might have been The Jungle Book

consultech · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

Masturbation

I was 12. It was lashing rain. I was looking out the window at some couple in the lane beside my house.

The_Kew_Tour · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

The first time I cried was when I was born and realised the crap world I have been brought into.

Captain Darling · 31-05-2010 3:45pm

Doyler92 wrote: »

Ah Captain, my long lost brother. I've been searching for you for quite a while now.

Ahhh Doyler, there shall be firm handshakes all round. Very firm....:(

Captain Darling · 31-05-2010 3:48pm

adrian280582 wrote: »

The first time I cried was when I was born and realised the crap world I have been brought into.

Is the glass half empty of half full?

Cheer up big guy!

abouttobebanned · 31-05-2010 3:48pm

consultech wrote: »

Masturbation

I was 12. It was lashing rain. I was looking out the window at some couple in the lane beside my house.

I laughed. Can't thank you as am on phone but it's on my to do list for later.

Max Power1 · 31-05-2010 3:48pm

Kiss

12 - first "girlfriend" in 6th class

Masturbation

dont remember specifics - about 14/15 i think

Sex

Long,long story. 17 by some accounts, 21 by others.

Film in the Cinema

Dragonheart or Titanic. Cant remember which I saw first. Not a big film buff at all.

DazMarz · 31-05-2010 3:55pm

Kiss

I was in the Gaeltacht and I was 12 years old. Me and another girl were both equally homesick and we spent most of the time hugging each other and comforting each other as we cried... Of course we ended up kissing/meeting/scoring/whatever-you-want-to-call-it before long. We left the Gaeltacht after 3 weeks and I never saw her again...

Masturbation

God only knows... As mentioned above, anyone who remembers this must have a sad life...

Sex

15 years old, drunk out of my skull and fumbling around in a friend's bed at a party... Not a memory I exactly hold dear, tbh...

Film in the Cinema

'The Jungle Book'

cant be arsed · 31-05-2010 3:55pm

first message on boards and what a bloody dull message it is

*must get more interesting*

OutlawPete · 31-05-2010 3:56pm

Kiss

Kiss chasing (1982)

Had about forty kisses that first day, thought the world would be like that for evermore.

Never kissed more than one girl on a given day after that

Get this, when a Boy caught a Girl, they had to give her 5p.

But if a Girl cuaght a Boy, she didn't have to

Masturbation

No idea.

I remember masturbating to the Madonna Lucky Star video though.

Sex

G/f was babysitting and so went round and played mommies and daddies.

Think I was 15.

Film in the Cinema

Superman, Adelphi (1978) .. I was five.

consultech · 31-05-2010 3:59pm

OutlawPete wrote: »

Get this, when a Boy caught a Girl, they had to give her 5p.

But if a Girl cuaght a Boy, she didn't have to

When I saw your username I wondered how you were gonna shoehorn the usual in... Touché!

drunkymonkey · 31-05-2010 4:03pm

Kiss
I was a late bloomer being so shy back when i was younger, just 17 i scored with my friends ex down an alleyway next to a skip! Classy!

Masturbation
When i was on holidays when i was 12 in the bar bathroom pulling off to a pic of Holly Valance(first love!)

Sex
Ha, same year i had my first kiss, had it with my girlfriend who i went out with for a couple of years in her parents bed while they were in the pub!

Film
Really don't have a clue!!! How do some people remember that??

All in all late bloomer but everything seemed to kick off when i was 17 in huge waves and hasn't stopped!

thebigbiffo · 31-05-2010 4:26pm

kiss

my neighbours cousin who was down from limerick for a weekend. think i was about 10, jaysus i felt all grown up after it!

Masturbation:

apart from wet dreams i hadn't a notion what the whole 'wankin'/orgasm thing was all about. used to hear the lads talkin about it but just played along acting like i knew the story. i was shiftin a girl out the back of the community centre when she dropped the hand outta nowhere...next thing i know, i've come...best day ever. so i went home and did it meself! that's why i remember it! was about 12

Sex

Christmas day, 1996 with the lovely woman who's now my wife. was just gone 17. was in my mates parents bedroom. get this: his ma found the condom wrapper, he fess'd up that he allowed me and the missus in there. next thing the mothers come stompin up my drive the next day, meself and the OH see her, freak out ensues. she tells me at the door 'i need a chat with your mother about you'...comes in, stands behind both of us with hands on the shoulder and says to the ma 'dont know what to do about these 2, causing me a serious headache' i'm sh'ittin it at this stage...then she goes 'are you gonna collect them from the train station every day next week or will i'...we were going to dublin to study over the hols with her son!! what a bitch eh!! thought she was gonna start discussing our sexual adventures right there in front of me ma! she knew what she was at alright...

Movie

BMX bandits...that was some flick. and i only recently found out nicole kidman was in it!

citizen_p · 31-05-2010 4:27pm

kiss
kiss chasing in first class
kiss (meeting)
at a friends 10 birthday with his 11 year old sister.

masturbation
dunno,

sex
16 n a old shed out the back of a pub, she wasnt drinking but i had a bit of "confidence" consumed. otherwise i go bright red with slight inclination of attraction.

film
dunno, one of the cartoon ones i supose

Agricola · 31-05-2010 4:29pm

Kiss

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Masturbation

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Sex

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Film in the Cinema

Cant remember the film, i was With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Yeah, that was one great day!

thebigbiffo · 31-05-2010 4:36pm

Agricola wrote: »

Kiss

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Masturbation

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Sex

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Film in the Cinema

Cant remember the film, i was With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Yeah, that was one great day!

i really really hope the first 3 out of this post are true...lol:D

shizz · 31-05-2010 4:36pm

Am i the only one who thinks the first film was put in just to make up 4 questions?

snuggles09 · 31-05-2010 4:38pm

Kiss

I was 11 with a boy I'd been "shifting" behind a car mechanics place..christ i was naieve and he was one of those washing machine lick your face havent a clue what i'm at types..was horrible

Masturbation

Whats that now:p!

Sex

16 with my boyfriend of a year who in the end turned out to be a total waste of space...it was in the end of a bunk bed, it was crap and horrible and he didnt speak to me for 2 days after as, as i said above he was a right eejit

Film in the Cinema

Michael Jackson Moonwalk

abouttobebanned · 31-05-2010 4:40pm

shizz wrote: »

Am i the only one who thinks the first film was put in just to make up 4 questions?

Yes. The first film one sees in a picture house is a momentous experience

snuggles09 · 31-05-2010 4:42pm

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Yes. The first film one sees in a picture house is a momentous experience

first album would have been better in fairness:D

NothingMan · 31-05-2010 4:55pm

Kiss:

A neighbour when I was 11, she was 13. Awkward, wet and embarrassing. In her man's ford Fiesta.

Masturbation:

Think I was 12. I don't remember what I was thinking, but I remember there was no colour, just a clear goo.

Sex:

Sexual activities at 15. Lots of fun and sordid activities from then, but actual full on proper sexy fun time, I was 20.

Film:

Mrs. Doubtfire I think. With my Dad and 2 sisters.

snuggles09 · 31-05-2010 4:57pm

NothingMan wrote: »

Kiss:

A neighbour when I was 11, she was 13. Awkward, wet and embarrassing. In her man's ford Fiesta.

Masturbation:

Think I was 12. I don't remember what I was thinking, but I remember there was no colour, just a clear goo.

Sex:

Sexual activities at 15. Lots of fun and sordid activities from then, but actual full on proper sexy fun time, I was 20.

Film:

Mrs. Doubtfire I think. With my Dad and 2 sisters.

do we need to do specifics:eek: and we need a vomit emoticon in here as well!:D

consultech · 31-05-2010 5:00pm

NothingMan wrote: »

Kiss:

A neighbour when I was 11, she was 13. Awkward, wet and embarrassing. In her man's ford Fiesta.

Masturbation:

Think I was 12. I don't remember what I was thinking, but I remember there was no colour, just a clear goo.

Sex:

Sexual activities at 15. Lots of fun and sordid activities from then, but actual full on proper sexy fun time, I was 20.

Film:

Mrs. Doubtfire I think. With my Dad and 2 sisters.

First time putting food down because of a post:

5pm Monday 31/05/2010

The food was yoghurt.

brummytom · 31-05-2010 5:10pm

Kiss

Snog

Sex

Don't be stupid

Tar.Aldarion · 31-05-2010 5:55pm

Lol you'll get there mate.

Kiss

Hmm dunno, I was very drunk, very very very drunk, she called me hawt and I asked her what her name was, during her answer I kissed her, dunno what her name was 'awogsfdiofhjodmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm' I believe. Also she was terrible, she ate my face, I actually hurt for days, and so i thought that was normal. Poor next girl that kissed me.

Masturbation

Very young, I had no idea what masturbation was at that age and I was like 'wtf is that ****, at the end of it, better hide that, I don't know why, something fishy is going on here' :pac:

The first has to be best, think of all the pent up sexual frustration if you ahv e enver relieved yourself, everrrrr.

Anyway, I made that pillow into a woman that day. Yes I ****ed a pillow. :cool:

Sex

Hmm I was odd about this, I didn't want to have sex until I really cared for somebody, so for the first partners didn't have sex with them, waited a long time for somebody. Was worth it I suppose. Used performa condoms, nobody should ever buy these, you don't know you are having sex, as it's like an anaesthetic. It was more of a marathon than sex. Waited for anaesthetic to wear off to hit flavour country. Became a ho :pac:

Film in the Cinema

No idea, first one I can remember is starwars, return of the jedi.

GLaDOS · 31-05-2010 6:02pm

Kiss

In the cinema watching Master and Commander, which I though was terrible. Would have been 13 I think. Was with a girl I was "going out with". I was very happy at the time

Masturbation

Don't remember a specific time, would have been about 12/13 I'd say though

Sex

With my girlfriend at the time of about a month. Was in my bedroom after the parents had gone out. Was a month before my 18th birthday. She was way more experienced than I, which was good cos I was very nervous

So was a bit ****, second time was way better.

Film in the Cinema

No Idea.

Mr Benevolent · 31-05-2010 6:48pm

WTF? Talk about living your life on the internet. Get back in yer box OP!

Jazzy · 31-05-2010 6:53pm

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Sex

Hmm I was odd about this, I didn't want to have sex until I really cared for somebody, so for the first partners didn't have sex with them, waited a long time for somebody. Was worth it I suppose. Used performa condoms, nobody should ever buy these, you don't know you are having sex, as it's like an anaesthetic. It was more of a marathon than sex. Waited for anaesthetic to wear off to hit flavour country. Became a ho :pac:

Kinetics a lucky guy

Tar.Aldarion · 31-05-2010 6:57pm

mark is my bitch. He doesn't walk like that for nothing

df1985 · 31-05-2010 6:58pm

kiss

on 4th class school tour, everyone was at it down the back of the bus.

masturbation

pretty early i think but i know for a long time i didnt fully understand what was going on, it felt great though!

sex

on a sunlounger in torremolinos with a girl from bristol, i was 16. classy.

film

jungle book for me too. went to see it in UCI tallaght, felt real grown up going to the cinema!

AckwelFoley · 31-05-2010 7:05pm

Kiss

Imelda. i was 9. She smelled like a bucket full of arse holes

Masturbation

i was 10. I got a boner..didnt know what to do with it so i decided to try and choke it. 23 years later im still choking it. Only difference is now i use targets

Sex

In her grandmothers bedroom. We had just come back from her grans funeral. FREEHOUSE!!

lol

Film in the Cinema

Rocky 4

abouttobebanned · 31-05-2010 7:13pm

The amount of thanks given to this thread has left me disillusioned.

Some great answers though. Fair play shay.

AckwelFoley · 31-05-2010 7:14pm

The day some random chick starts a thread "I just poped brummytoms cherry" will be the day the thanks button will bring down the internet

we'llallhavetea_old · 31-05-2010 7:22pm

kiss

i was 12, local junior disco, it lasted about a minute, very underwhelming.

masturbation

i have no idea about the first time, but i know i was really young.. i humped EVERYTHING!

sex

i was 17. went to my boyfriends free house, up to his little sweaty attic room.

acdc playing in the background.

we stripped. his knob was like a baton. :eek:

what i wouldn't give to get a go of that baton now. :pac:

film

can't really remember, think it was hocus pocus or somethin.

AckwelFoley · 31-05-2010 7:30pm

what i wouldn't give to get a go of that baton now. :pac:

there are 2.5 million replicas of it in this small country.

Go wild

Be safe

Take pics

Post

Good times

Tar.Aldarion · 31-05-2010 7:36pm

/takes the hit

Abi · 31-05-2010 7:39pm

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Kiss

In a field when I was 12, and had been my 'boyfriend' for a little while. He got gate after the tonsil-tonguing I was subjected to.

Masturbation

Very young, definitely not saying!

Sex

16 with my 20yr boyfriend in his bedroom, boring, I know. My parents were totally psyched when they found my contraceptive pills.

Big Nasty · 31-05-2010 8:12pm

13
11
15
ET

bronte · 31-05-2010 9:11pm

kiss

I was 8! It was quite pleasant really. Then nothing happened for many years.

masturbation

I really don't remember

sex

I was 19 , he was 21...we were crazy about each other.

I'd heard the first time could be crap but this was amazing.

Worth the bloody wait. :pac:

My name is URL · 31-05-2010 9:21pm

Kiss

When I was 11-12.. it was with a fat girl and I didn't really want to do it.. I remember scrubbing my tongue with a toothbrush afterwards

Masturbation

Not sure about my age, but the first time I realised it was possible was while playing with toy cars.. I was lying on my belly and moved in a certain way which just felt right

Sex

15.. fairly forgetable.. didn't really know what I was supposed to do with my hands

Korvanica · 31-05-2010 9:31pm

kiss
Some random chick at a gig when i was 13/14...

masturbation
13/14 id thought id broken myself...

sex
18 with the girlfriend in her bed when her mum was out...

film
The Mask, Then immediately after that The Lion King...

The Big Red Button · 31-05-2010 9:33pm

Kiss

I was 11, he was 10 (I've always had a thing for younger men!

) and he was my friend's younger brother. It was in their house ... me and him sitting on the couch in the sitting room while my friend (his sister!) waited in the kitchen. He took off his glasses; we counted down from ten and went for it. It was like kissing a washing machine. Slobbery and disgusting. Didn't kiss another boy for almost four years after it; nearly put me off men for life!

Masturbation

I really have no idea!

Sex

I was eighteen, with a boy I'd been going out with for a couple of months ... we were both completely hammered, it was the first time for both of us, and it happened on the sitting room floor of his sister's apartment!

(Carpet burn = ouch!!!)

Film

Dennis the Menace - it was brilliant!

One of my earliest memories!

theboss80 · 31-05-2010 9:34pm

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

sex

i was 17. went to my boyfriends free house, up to his little sweaty attic room.

acdc playing in the background.

we stripped.

Anybody else hear the opening rif of Thunderstruck reading that,

thunder na na na naaa na na naa

Dudess · 31-05-2010 9:38pm

My first kiss was at five - is that wrong?

My first French kiss was at 13... with a French guy. And it was sh1te.

we'llallhavetea_old · 31-05-2010 9:43pm

theboss80 wrote: »

Anybody else hear the opening rif of Thunderstruck reading that,

thunder na na na naaa na na naa

mwahaha! it didn't get much past the na na na na na bit tbh

Your first time...for everything...

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