Your first time...for everything...

abouttobebanned · 31-05-2010 3:34pm #1

...and anything

Kiss

It lasted 12 seconds in the pissing rain and I was 12. I was an incredible frigid, which I find hard to comprehend now and I'm also not too sure at which point I got out of that phase. Anyway, 12 seconds in the rain in an alleyway. I spent many weeks making up excuses as to not do it again, and then many years making excuses as to why I did it with the wrong people.

Masturbation

Not many people will remember their first time. But I do. It was Christmas Eve...and I had to be ridiculously young because I was so excited about Santa Claus coming that I couldn't sleep...and as we can all testify to, masturbation is a great sedative. Especially if you do it three times. I was that excited about the arrival of Father Christmas.

Sex

I lost my virginity in a forest in courtown. A place I have never visited since. (I presume there's some sort of plaque up). The condoms were purchased in a local bar. The girl? A born again christian from Northern Ireland who didn't believe in sex before marriage. She went on to get married some years later to a man who also didn't believe in sex before marriage and was convinced his new bride shared the same beliefs. Not only did she indulge in sex before marriage, she also indulged in a lot of other scenarios, some of which I still have photographic evidence of. Which makes me wonder if I'm in possession of child porn now..as she was 15 at the time. (Mind you I ripped up the photos years ago - some kind of post masturbation guilt I can only presume - but i stumbled upon the negatives recently during an attic clear out. Any guards reading this, I also burned them....)

Film in the Cinema

The Neverending Story. There's no story there really.

Feel free to add more!

4zn76tysfajdxp · 31-05-2010 3:38pm

I remember the time I read this thread. I was underwhelmed.

mikom · 31-05-2010 3:41pm

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Masturbation
The Neverending Story.

Fixed your post.

ejmaztec · 31-05-2010 3:41pm

Jolie Prehistoric Lambaste wrote: »

I remember the time I read this thread. I was underwhelmed.

Which thread?

Luno · 31-05-2010 3:42pm

Awkward!

Doyler92 · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

Captain Darling wrote: »

Kissing, ****, sex and then the neverending story?

Thats my fcuking life you're describing!

Ah Captain, my long lost brother. I've been searching for you for quite a while now.

cherryghost · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

Kiss

Dunno. Proper kiss, must've been 11 or 12. Behind a white transit van with someone who's turned out to be a right bitch

Masturbation

Anyone who actually remembers this must have a seriously boring life tbh.

Sex

15, girlfriends bed. It was uncomfortable and sweaty. Always regretted it

Film in the Cinema

Not 100% sure on this, but it might have been The Jungle Book

consultech · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

Masturbation

I was 12. It was lashing rain. I was looking out the window at some couple in the lane beside my house.

The_Kew_Tour · 31-05-2010 3:44pm

The first time I cried was when I was born and realised the crap world I have been brought into.

Captain Darling · 31-05-2010 3:45pm

Doyler92 wrote: »

Ah Captain, my long lost brother. I've been searching for you for quite a while now.

Ahhh Doyler, there shall be firm handshakes all round. Very firm....:(

Captain Darling · 31-05-2010 3:48pm

adrian280582 wrote: »

The first time I cried was when I was born and realised the crap world I have been brought into.

Is the glass half empty of half full?

Cheer up big guy!

abouttobebanned · 31-05-2010 3:48pm

consultech wrote: »

Masturbation

I was 12. It was lashing rain. I was looking out the window at some couple in the lane beside my house.

I laughed. Can't thank you as am on phone but it's on my to do list for later.

Max Power1 · 31-05-2010 3:48pm

Kiss

12 - first "girlfriend" in 6th class

Masturbation

dont remember specifics - about 14/15 i think

Sex

Long,long story. 17 by some accounts, 21 by others.

Film in the Cinema

Dragonheart or Titanic. Cant remember which I saw first. Not a big film buff at all.

DazMarz · 31-05-2010 3:55pm

Kiss

I was in the Gaeltacht and I was 12 years old. Me and another girl were both equally homesick and we spent most of the time hugging each other and comforting each other as we cried... Of course we ended up kissing/meeting/scoring/whatever-you-want-to-call-it before long. We left the Gaeltacht after 3 weeks and I never saw her again...

Masturbation

God only knows... As mentioned above, anyone who remembers this must have a sad life...

Sex

15 years old, drunk out of my skull and fumbling around in a friend's bed at a party... Not a memory I exactly hold dear, tbh...

Film in the Cinema

'The Jungle Book'

cant be arsed · 31-05-2010 3:55pm

first message on boards and what a bloody dull message it is

*must get more interesting*

OutlawPete · 31-05-2010 3:56pm

Kiss

Kiss chasing (1982)

Had about forty kisses that first day, thought the world would be like that for evermore.

Never kissed more than one girl on a given day after that

Get this, when a Boy caught a Girl, they had to give her 5p.

But if a Girl cuaght a Boy, she didn't have to

Masturbation

No idea.

I remember masturbating to the Madonna Lucky Star video though.

Sex

G/f was babysitting and so went round and played mommies and daddies.

Think I was 15.

Film in the Cinema

Superman, Adelphi (1978) .. I was five.

consultech · 31-05-2010 3:59pm

OutlawPete wrote: »

Get this, when a Boy caught a Girl, they had to give her 5p.

But if a Girl cuaght a Boy, she didn't have to

When I saw your username I wondered how you were gonna shoehorn the usual in... Touché!

drunkymonkey · 31-05-2010 4:03pm

Kiss
I was a late bloomer being so shy back when i was younger, just 17 i scored with my friends ex down an alleyway next to a skip! Classy!

Masturbation
When i was on holidays when i was 12 in the bar bathroom pulling off to a pic of Holly Valance(first love!)

Sex
Ha, same year i had my first kiss, had it with my girlfriend who i went out with for a couple of years in her parents bed while they were in the pub!

Film
Really don't have a clue!!! How do some people remember that??

All in all late bloomer but everything seemed to kick off when i was 17 in huge waves and hasn't stopped!

thebigbiffo · 31-05-2010 4:26pm

kiss

my neighbours cousin who was down from limerick for a weekend. think i was about 10, jaysus i felt all grown up after it!

Masturbation:

apart from wet dreams i hadn't a notion what the whole 'wankin'/orgasm thing was all about. used to hear the lads talkin about it but just played along acting like i knew the story. i was shiftin a girl out the back of the community centre when she dropped the hand outta nowhere...next thing i know, i've come...best day ever. so i went home and did it meself! that's why i remember it! was about 12

Sex

Christmas day, 1996 with the lovely woman who's now my wife. was just gone 17. was in my mates parents bedroom. get this: his ma found the condom wrapper, he fess'd up that he allowed me and the missus in there. next thing the mothers come stompin up my drive the next day, meself and the OH see her, freak out ensues. she tells me at the door 'i need a chat with your mother about you'...comes in, stands behind both of us with hands on the shoulder and says to the ma 'dont know what to do about these 2, causing me a serious headache' i'm sh'ittin it at this stage...then she goes 'are you gonna collect them from the train station every day next week or will i'...we were going to dublin to study over the hols with her son!! what a bitch eh!! thought she was gonna start discussing our sexual adventures right there in front of me ma! she knew what she was at alright...

Movie

BMX bandits...that was some flick. and i only recently found out nicole kidman was in it!

citizen_p · 31-05-2010 4:27pm

kiss
kiss chasing in first class
kiss (meeting)
at a friends 10 birthday with his 11 year old sister.

masturbation
dunno,

sex
16 n a old shed out the back of a pub, she wasnt drinking but i had a bit of "confidence" consumed. otherwise i go bright red with slight inclination of attraction.

film
dunno, one of the cartoon ones i supose

Agricola · 31-05-2010 4:29pm

Kiss

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Masturbation

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Sex

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Film in the Cinema

Cant remember the film, i was With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Yeah, that was one great day!

thebigbiffo · 31-05-2010 4:36pm

Agricola wrote: »

Kiss

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Masturbation

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Sex

With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Film in the Cinema

Cant remember the film, i was With my mates cousin from england. She was savage!

Yeah, that was one great day!

i really really hope the first 3 out of this post are true...lol:D

shizz · 31-05-2010 4:36pm

Am i the only one who thinks the first film was put in just to make up 4 questions?

snuggles09 · 31-05-2010 4:38pm

Kiss

I was 11 with a boy I'd been "shifting" behind a car mechanics place..christ i was naieve and he was one of those washing machine lick your face havent a clue what i'm at types..was horrible

Masturbation

Whats that now:p!

Sex

16 with my boyfriend of a year who in the end turned out to be a total waste of space...it was in the end of a bunk bed, it was crap and horrible and he didnt speak to me for 2 days after as, as i said above he was a right eejit

Film in the Cinema

Michael Jackson Moonwalk

abouttobebanned · 31-05-2010 4:40pm

shizz wrote: »

Am i the only one who thinks the first film was put in just to make up 4 questions?

Yes. The first film one sees in a picture house is a momentous experience

snuggles09 · 31-05-2010 4:42pm

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Yes. The first film one sees in a picture house is a momentous experience

first album would have been better in fairness:D

NothingMan · 31-05-2010 4:55pm

Kiss:

A neighbour when I was 11, she was 13. Awkward, wet and embarrassing. In her man's ford Fiesta.

Masturbation:

Think I was 12. I don't remember what I was thinking, but I remember there was no colour, just a clear goo.

Sex:

Sexual activities at 15. Lots of fun and sordid activities from then, but actual full on proper sexy fun time, I was 20.

Film:

Mrs. Doubtfire I think. With my Dad and 2 sisters.

snuggles09 · 31-05-2010 4:57pm

NothingMan wrote: »

Kiss:

A neighbour when I was 11, she was 13. Awkward, wet and embarrassing. In her man's ford Fiesta.

Masturbation:

Think I was 12. I don't remember what I was thinking, but I remember there was no colour, just a clear goo.

Sex:

Sexual activities at 15. Lots of fun and sordid activities from then, but actual full on proper sexy fun time, I was 20.

Film:

Mrs. Doubtfire I think. With my Dad and 2 sisters.

do we need to do specifics:eek: and we need a vomit emoticon in here as well!:D

consultech · 31-05-2010 5:00pm

NothingMan wrote: »

Kiss:

A neighbour when I was 11, she was 13. Awkward, wet and embarrassing. In her man's ford Fiesta.

Masturbation:

Think I was 12. I don't remember what I was thinking, but I remember there was no colour, just a clear goo.

Sex:

Sexual activities at 15. Lots of fun and sordid activities from then, but actual full on proper sexy fun time, I was 20.

Film:

Mrs. Doubtfire I think. With my Dad and 2 sisters.

First time putting food down because of a post:

5pm Monday 31/05/2010

The food was yoghurt.

brummytom · 31-05-2010 5:10pm

Kiss

Snog

Sex

Don't be stupid

Tar.Aldarion · 31-05-2010 5:55pm

Lol you'll get there mate.

Kiss

Hmm dunno, I was very drunk, very very very drunk, she called me hawt and I asked her what her name was, during her answer I kissed her, dunno what her name was 'awogsfdiofhjodmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm' I believe. Also she was terrible, she ate my face, I actually hurt for days, and so i thought that was normal. Poor next girl that kissed me.

Masturbation

Very young, I had no idea what masturbation was at that age and I was like 'wtf is that ****, at the end of it, better hide that, I don't know why, something fishy is going on here' :pac:

The first has to be best, think of all the pent up sexual frustration if you ahv e enver relieved yourself, everrrrr.

Anyway, I made that pillow into a woman that day. Yes I ****ed a pillow. :cool:

Sex

Hmm I was odd about this, I didn't want to have sex until I really cared for somebody, so for the first partners didn't have sex with them, waited a long time for somebody. Was worth it I suppose. Used performa condoms, nobody should ever buy these, you don't know you are having sex, as it's like an anaesthetic. It was more of a marathon than sex. Waited for anaesthetic to wear off to hit flavour country. Became a ho :pac:

Film in the Cinema

No idea, first one I can remember is starwars, return of the jedi.

Your first time...for everything...

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