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Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

12467…25

Comments

  • #152
    Big Nasty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Fapped to the orgasmic chick sounds on G n' R's 'Rocket Queen.

    Legend has it the sample was a recording of Rose banging some bird, or her reaction to same.


  • #153
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,333 ✭✭✭RichieC


    Victoria's Secret catalogue. BZZZZZ.. Sears catalogue..

    I had older brothers so there was always a raged mag somewhere...


  • #154
    Fizman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    Fizman wrote: »
    Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

    Teyla Emmagan wrote: »
    Dear lord!!! :eek:


    Actually if I'm honest, she had two aunts in that show........and the slimmer one regularly got a few swimmers fired in her general direction, much more so than Sabrina.


  • #155
    dave3004
    Registered Users Posts: 621 ✭✭✭dave3004


    I use to play Smackdown on the PS2 and do a 6 man hell in the cell match.

    Pick 6 hot chicks and fap away to their entrance videos !


  • #156
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    oh yea, noticed Eurotrash on again recently, always leave it on if it's on.
    Hilarious show, the geordie dubbed over voices.


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  • #157
    The Mollusc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43 ✭The Mollusc


    Hello Magazine :o


  • #158
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Why myself of course :)


  • #159
    scrubber72
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,215 ✭✭✭scrubber72


    Read the thread title then read down.



















    Yore ma..




    Come on 11 pages and no one says it.


  • #160
    hefferboi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,379 ✭✭✭hefferboi


    Phone erotica.


  • #161
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    oh dear i bough adam rickett singles when i was a teen and fapped to the pics


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  • #162
    MetalDog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 904 ✭✭✭MetalDog


    Acacia wrote: »
    The titties were always a little too saggy for my taste! They should've sorted them out with a few Wonderbras before taking the tit shot!:p

    Hey, ya work with what you got. :D


  • #163
    MetalDog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 904 ✭✭✭MetalDog


    MCMLXXV wrote: »
    Fapped to the orgasmic chick sounds on G n' R's 'Rocket Queen.

    Legend has it the sample was a recording of Rose banging some bird, or her reaction to same.

    Apparently it was Axl shagging a stripper who was [drummer] Steven Adler's bird at the time! I read that . . . .somewhere.


  • #164
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Fizman wrote: »
    Actually if I'm honest, she had two aunts in that show........and the slimmer one regularly got a few swimmers fired in her general direction, much more so than Sabrina.


    I believe her name was aunt zelda ;)
    :cool:


  • #165
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    cml387 wrote: »
    Health And Efficiency magazine?

    oh yes H&E magazine, the only naughty mag in ireland in the pre-porn days

    plucked up the courage to buy one in Easons as a horny 16 yr old, sandwiched between the star and the mirror but when i got to the counter with my heart pounding the ol'wan behind the counter looks at me scornfully and says "you're too young for this" i was mortified:o devasted i was.

    You see young lads, you don't how good you have it these days.


  • #166
    Radharc na Sleibhte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,535 ✭✭✭Radharc na Sleibhte


    The clubbers pics section in mixmag :o

    The underwear section of family album or one of those mail order catalogues, especially where you could see the pubes through the knickers. :o


  • #167
    Sky King
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    Anyone familiar with Hi-5?

    It's a TV show for kids but the presenters are adults and the women are really REALLY hot, especially the asian one, and you get to see them a lot.

    The only thing to bear in mind if you decide to jack to it is that kids occasionally pop up on the screen which can be dodgy enough if you're mid-rubbing one out.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iijwi86_GOQ
    &


  • #168
    Radharc na Sleibhte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,535 ✭✭✭Radharc na Sleibhte


    fryup wrote: »
    oh yes H&E magazine, the only naughty mag in ireland in the pre-porn days

    plucked up the courage to buy one in Easons as a horny 16 yr old, sandwiched between the star and the mirror but when i got to the counter with my heart pounding the ol'wan behind the counter looks at me scornfully and says "you're too young for this" i was mortified:o devasted i was.

    You see young lads, you don't how good you have it these days.

    Haha, had a similar experience.

    I was in a local newsagents and was debating buying a porno on the top shelf for about 15 mins. Literally spent a quarter of an hour looking up at it.
    So, eventually, i reached up as high as i could and grabbed the mag.
    Part one done, now head to the counter to purchase.
    Only the old biddy was obviously watching me all along. I had no sooner turned around and she was there and grabbed the mag off me and told me i was disgusting and what was i going to turn out like. She took down a copy of irelands own and made me buy that instead.


  • #169
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    MyKeyG wrote: »
    Well I was in my awkward years before TG4 came along but RTE used to have a foreign flick on late every Thursday and you usually got an oul scene in one of them. It could be hit or miss though..

    yes i remember, it was called cineclub...a foreign movie in subtitles but if you were lucky they'd be a bit of nudity in it:P

    Before that the RTE Guide would have the odd picture of Bibi Baskin or Twink.

    ah now thats desperate:( thats really sad


  • #170
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Porno Mags/ Vids/ Dvds.

    Still have some of'em around somewhere.


  • #171
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    Porno Mags/ Vids/ Dvds.

    Still have some of'em around somewhere.

    You know exactly where they are ;)

    :pac:


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  • #172
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    kfallon wrote: »
    You know exactly where they are ;)

    :pac:

    Not exactly, they are in a box under my bed. Not entirelly too sure which box though. :o


  • #173
    CardBordWindow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,198 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    I remember one of the lads in school said he was in The Book Centre, and managed to get a Playboy mag down from the shelf without any staff seeing, so he stuck it inside a newspaper and had a browse. Got embarassed, and left both of them down. He maintains that some auld one got an interesting supplement in her copy of the Munster Express! :D


  • #174
    quaalude
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭quaalude


    In his autobiography "Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence", Paul Feig admits to whacking off to the leaflet from a tampon box.

    Hot.


  • #175
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    later12 wrote: »
    I have a heap of sisters

    OMG you sicko!



    Haha oh how I love devious, out of context quotations.



    In the times when Porn was a rife on the internet, but my computer had broken, I was transported back to the 90s and so had to resort to the Fashion Channel

    I think the first taste of porn on the web, was on my phone. Glorious


  • #176
    foxyboxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,528 ✭✭✭foxyboxer


    Radharc na Sleibhte wrote: »
    Haha, had a similar experience.

    I was in a local newsagents and was debating buying a porno on the top shelf for about 15 mins. Literally spent a quarter of an hour looking up at it.
    So, eventually, i reached up as high as i could and grabbed the mag.
    Part one done, now head to the counter to purchase.
    Only the old biddy was obviously watching me all along. I had no sooner turned around and she was there and grabbed the mag off me and told me i was disgusting and what was i going to turn out like. She took down a copy of irelands own and made me buy that instead.

    Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke.

    I remember the first time I got a Porno magazine.
    I was masturbating furiously, when I heard the shop keeper say.



    "Are you going to fcking buy that or what?!"


  • #177
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Bugs Bunny when he was dressed as a girl bunny.


  • #178
    giant_midget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,162 ✭✭✭giant_midget


    on the old analoge Sky....


    late at night RTL, VOX etc

    or...and i know this is bad...."pixie" from Prisoner Cell block H on UTV... :pac:


  • #179
    Auvers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭Auvers


    giant_midget wrote: »
    on the old analoge Sky....

    hahah me too, used to go through the German channels hoping for a bit of T&A

    I also got a pirate video of the "Never Ending Story" when I was around 13\14 and to my surprise the tape lived up to its title when I found a 10 minute lesbo scene at the very end of the tape


  • #180
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    foxyboxer wrote: »
    Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke.

    I remember the first time I got a Porno magazine.
    I was masturbating furiously, when I heard the shop keeper say.



    "Are you going to fcking buy that or what?!"

    I remember when I was in first year, went into the local shop, and decided to have a sneak peek of some porno magazine, had been looking at it for less than 20 seconds, when the shopkeeper went up and said to me " Are you trying to get a horn". I was so embarassed I didn't go back there for about a month.


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  • #181
    Radharc na Sleibhte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,535 ✭✭✭Radharc na Sleibhte


    foxyboxer wrote: »
    Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke.

    I remember the first time I got a Porno magazine.
    I was masturbating furiously, when I heard the shop keeper say.


    "Are you going to fcking buy that or what?!"

    haha, I shouldve done that and spiderman'd her
    WoollyRedHat wrote: »
    I remember when I was in first year, went into the local shop, and decided to have a sneak peek of some porno magazine, had been looking at it for less than 20 seconds, when the shopkeeper went up and said to me " Are you trying to get a horn". I was so embarassed I didn't go back there for about a month.

    jeez, where would we have all ended up if it wasnt for the old interfering farts. probably would have wanked myself dry for a start.


  • #182
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    the local farmer's sheep... god they were beautiful.... all woolly n like!! One even had a red hat ;)


  • #183
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Before the internet I had a stash of hardcore mags and VHS that I'd buy on holidays in Spain every year. Then I'd come home and spend hours copying the VHS tapes and sell them in school for a tenner each. Made a fortune!


  • #184
    SheFiend
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 362 ✭✭SheFiend


    smash wrote: »
    Before the internet I had a stash of hardcore mags and VHS that I'd buy on holidays in Spain every year. Then I'd come home and spend hours copying the VHS tapes and sell them in school for a tenner each. Made a fortune!
    I admire your enterprising spirit


  • #185
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    SheFiend wrote: »
    I admire your enterprising spirit
    My principle didn't! Bastard!


  • #186
    Stinicker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,102 ✭✭✭Stinicker


    OMG, I can't beleive no one has mentioned Xena: Warrior Princess, I fapped to that alot as a young lad, I used to "tape" every episode to VHS and one day borrowed a mates VCR and made up my own xena **** tape with the best bits from each show.

    Eventually I discovered a mag and a tape in some of my uncles stuff when I was nosying through some boxes he left at my parents when he and the wife split up, that tape got played alot until dialup and our first pc arrived....


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  • #187
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Stinicker wrote: »
    OMG, I can't beleive no one has mentioned Xena: Warrior Princess

    Cos she looks like a bloke...


  • #188
    CardBordWindow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,198 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    smash wrote: »
    Cos she looks like a bloke...
    Gabrielle was tasty though.


  • #189
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Kylie Minogue spinning around music video


  • #190
    cassel16
    Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭cassel16


    Friend of mine was telling me he cracked one off to an election poster back during the 2002 General Election...


  • #191
    Stinicker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,102 ✭✭✭Stinicker


    cassel16 wrote: »
    Friend of mine was telling me he cracked one off to an election poster back during the 2002 General Election...

    Fap Fap Fap!


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  • #192
    IamtheWalrus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,075 ✭✭✭IamtheWalrus


    In my family home, we have a TV in the living room and one in the kitchen. If you flick to a particular station in the kitchen TV you could see what the person in the living room is watching on the VHS video recorder.

    I was in the kitchen and my brother was in the living room. I flicked to the video channel and saw my bro was watching a recording of Brookside. I flicked away and a while later flicked back. He had paused it on one of the female young ones. I thought it strange but paid no attention. Then when the programme I was watching was over I went towards the living room. I met my brother in the hall. When he saw me he went as white as a ghost. He thought I was in bed. He was seconds away from being caught ****. Being from a very catholic family, this would have been mortifying for him.


  • #193
    Owen_S
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,211 ✭✭✭Owen_S


    smash wrote: »
    Before the internet I had a stash of hardcore mags and VHS that I'd buy on holidays in Spain every year. Then I'd come home and spend hours copying the VHS tapes and sell them in school for a tenner each. Made a fortune!
    I believe that you are the man to lead us out of recession.


  • #194
    Paparazzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,397 ✭✭✭Paparazzo


    cassel16 wrote: »
    Friend of mine was telling me he cracked one off to an election poster back during the 2002 General Election...

    Liz O'Donnell?


  • #195
    CardBordWindow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,198 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    cassel16 wrote: »
    Friend of mine was telling me he cracked one off to an election poster back during the 2002 General Election...
    If it was this, I'd be worried! :eek:


  • #196
    Simon Adebisi
    Registered Users Posts: 395 ✭✭Simon Adebisi


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiuHdUkuRi0

    Ignore the name of the song and watch the video :D

    Rarrr


  • #197
    Pupito
    Registered Users Posts: 88 ✭✭Pupito


    Making Lara Croft run into the wall to hear her moan used to get me going. I was of the right age when the Spice Girls came along, I used to think of Mel C when entertaining myself, not because I fancied her the most (least, actually), but i figured I'd have more of a chance with her in real life, should she ever want to do it with a fourteen-year-old. That's poverty of ambition, Irish-style.

    Ads for breast augmentation surgery in the back of the Sunday magazines were always handy too, after putting something over the 'Before' photo to block it out.


  • #198
    Teangalad
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭Teangalad


    foxyboxer wrote: »
    The People. Trashy Sunday tabloid.

    Cork Multi Channel, back in the 90's used to have SAT 1, the german channel.
    They always showed cheesy soft porn movies from the 70's after 11pm on Saturday nights. Channel 18 was a rite of passage for many a young lad    .

    Ahhh .....those were the days...the innocence of it all


  • #199
    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,236 ✭✭✭Dr. Kenneth Noisewater


    Sky 1's 'Ibiza Uncovered' FTW


  • #200
    foxyboxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,528 ✭✭✭foxyboxer


    The cosmetic surgery ad in the Yellow Pages for 1993's 021 Area Code.

    OMG Tit!!. :o


  • #201
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    smash wrote: »
    Before the internet I had a stash of hardcore mags and VHS that I'd buy on holidays in Spain every year. Then I'd come home and spend hours copying the VHS tapes and sell them in school for a tenner each. Made a fortune!

    good lad, very enterprising

    thats how Hugh Hefner started ;)


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