Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

Big Nasty

Fapped to the orgasmic chick sounds on G n' R's 'Rocket Queen.

Legend has it the sample was a recording of Rose banging some bird, or her reaction to same.

RichieC

Victoria's Secret catalogue. BZZZZZ.. Sears catalogue..

I had older brothers so there was always a raged mag somewhere...

Fizman

Fizman wrote: »

Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Dear lord!!! :eek:

Actually if I'm honest, she had two aunts in that show........and the slimmer one regularly got a few swimmers fired in her general direction, much more so than Sabrina.

dave3004

I use to play Smackdown on the PS2 and do a 6 man hell in the cell match.

Pick 6 hot chicks and fap away to their entrance videos !

Jesus Wept

oh yea, noticed Eurotrash on again recently, always leave it on if it's on.
Hilarious show, the geordie dubbed over voices.

JG009

Thumbs up for a great thread!!
Porn was very hard to get back in them days.
- I used underwear catalogues.
- Mothers magazine called "Cosmopolitan" there was nearly always some nipple in them.
- The artwork from a spice girls album, when Victoria had a bit of meat on her.
- Porno cards someones mate would have brought back from "Spain", and at the time, I dont know if anyone else remembers this but I think every deck of porno cards sold was printed 15 years earlier than the date they were sold.
- Someones Dads or big bros stash of magazines.
We went to great lenghts to get playboys and the likes, these would be shared, respected, and looked after between a select few, but eventually they got lost or misplaced.
- The absolute winner though was I had an uncle who moved to Malaysia and was gone a good while, we were all in the Grans house one day in his old room and one of my cousins stumbled upon a very well hidden stash some VHS tapes! We put them on the VHS player in his room, and silence did occur. Jaws dropped looking at what was on screen before us. It was safe to say none of us knew porn like this existed. It was the xvideosdotcom of the 90s. Some of them were so homemade looking id say my unlce himself was in them. Never did discuss it with him when I went over to visit him 3 years ago. He's here this week actually! Must have a yap with him about it!
- I remember downloading my first 30 second Mpeg movie on a dial up connection, took about 5 hours but my god did that girl do what it said on the tin.
- VCDs appeared soon after that, and were dead handy as you could copy them on a CD burner. Cheap and effective!
- Dvds soon after that.
- Limewire was also good for the porn downloads. Never gave bangbros a penny!
- Xvideos, where it is today, so easily accessible, streamable, and free! Kids these days are just spoiled for choice.

EDIT -
Ibiza uncovered
Eurotrash
and I'm pretty sure I had one to Samantha Fox on some show.
YEAH!! http://www.google.ie/imgres?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&sa=N&biw=1024&bih=499&tbm=isch&tbnid=2Bn6OLokOcugzM:&imgrefurl=http://rocktelegraph.blogspot.com/2011/04/rock-history-it-happened-on-april-15.html&docid=952IDzBELohgXM&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tJC63pMad3M/TaK_Oadvi_I/AAAAAAAAAWw/RB2fCmtNHEE/s1600/Samantha_Fox.jpg&w=300&h=450&ei=Vo-HT-KMEoGWhQeC2_2_Bw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=320&vpy=128&dur=1832&hovh=275&hovw=183&tx=123&ty=145&sig=112645533946034773796&page=1&tbnh=133&tbnw=80&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:134

The Mollusc

Hello Magazine

ToddyDoody

Why myself of course

scrubber72

Read the thread title then read down.



















Yore ma..




Come on 11 pages and no one says it.

hefferboi

Phone erotica.

oh dear i bough adam rickett singles when i was a teen and fapped to the pics

MetalDog

Acacia wrote: »

The titties were always a little too saggy for my taste! They should've sorted them out with a few Wonderbras before taking the tit shot!:p

Hey, ya work with what you got.

MetalDog

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Fapped to the orgasmic chick sounds on G n' R's 'Rocket Queen.

Legend has it the sample was a recording of Rose banging some bird, or her reaction to same.

Apparently it was Axl shagging a stripper who was [drummer] Steven Adler's bird at the time! I read that . . . .somewhere.

Snowie

Fizman wrote: »

Actually if I'm honest, she had two aunts in that show........and the slimmer one regularly got a few swimmers fired in her general direction, much more so than Sabrina.

I believe her name was aunt zelda
:cool:

fryup

cml387 wrote: »

Health And Efficiency magazine?

oh yes H&E magazine, the only naughty mag in ireland in the pre-porn days

plucked up the courage to buy one in Easons as a horny 16 yr old, sandwiched between the star and the mirror but when i got to the counter with my heart pounding the ol'wan behind the counter looks at me scornfully and says "you're too young for this" i was mortified:o devasted i was.

You see young lads, you don't how good you have it these days.

Radharc na Sleibhte

The clubbers pics section in mixmag

The underwear section of family album or one of those mail order catalogues, especially where you could see the pubes through the knickers.

Sky King

Anyone familiar with Hi-5?

It's a TV show for kids but the presenters are adults and the women are really REALLY hot, especially the asian one, and you get to see them a lot.

The only thing to bear in mind if you decide to jack to it is that kids occasionally pop up on the screen which can be dodgy enough if you're mid-rubbing one out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iijwi86_GOQ

&

Radharc na Sleibhte

fryup wrote: »

oh yes H&E magazine, the only naughty mag in ireland in the pre-porn days

plucked up the courage to buy one in Easons as a horny 16 yr old, sandwiched between the star and the mirror but when i got to the counter with my heart pounding the ol'wan behind the counter looks at me scornfully and says "you're too young for this" i was mortified:o devasted i was.

You see young lads, you don't how good you have it these days.

Haha, had a similar experience.

I was in a local newsagents and was debating buying a porno on the top shelf for about 15 mins. Literally spent a quarter of an hour looking up at it.
So, eventually, i reached up as high as i could and grabbed the mag.
Part one done, now head to the counter to purchase.
Only the old biddy was obviously watching me all along. I had no sooner turned around and she was there and grabbed the mag off me and told me i was disgusting and what was i going to turn out like. She took down a copy of irelands own and made me buy that instead.

fryup

MyKeyG wrote: »

Well I was in my awkward years before TG4 came along but RTE used to have a foreign flick on late every Thursday and you usually got an oul scene in one of them. It could be hit or miss though..

yes i remember, it was called cineclub...a foreign movie in subtitles but if you were lucky they'd be a bit of nudity in it:P

Before that the RTE Guide would have the odd picture of Bibi Baskin or Twink.

ah now thats desperate:( thats really sad

Dravokivich

Porno Mags/ Vids/ Dvds.

Still have some of'em around somewhere.

kfallon

Dravokivich wrote: »

Porno Mags/ Vids/ Dvds.

Still have some of'em around somewhere.

You know exactly where they are

:pac:

Dravokivich

kfallon wrote: »

You know exactly where they are

:pac:

Not exactly, they are in a box under my bed. Not entirelly too sure which box though.

CardBordWindow

I remember one of the lads in school said he was in The Book Centre, and managed to get a Playboy mag down from the shelf without any staff seeing, so he stuck it inside a newspaper and had a browse. Got embarassed, and left both of them down. He maintains that some auld one got an interesting supplement in her copy of the Munster Express!

quaalude

In his autobiography "Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence", Paul Feig admits to whacking off to the leaflet from a tampon box.

Hot.

WoollyRedHat

later12 wrote: »

I have a heap of sisters

OMG you sicko!



Haha oh how I love devious, out of context quotations.



In the times when Porn was a rife on the internet, but my computer had broken, I was transported back to the 90s and so had to resort to the Fashion Channel

I think the first taste of porn on the web, was on my phone. Glorious

foxyboxer

Radharc na Sleibhte wrote: »

Haha, had a similar experience.

I was in a local newsagents and was debating buying a porno on the top shelf for about 15 mins. Literally spent a quarter of an hour looking up at it.
So, eventually, i reached up as high as i could and grabbed the mag.
Part one done, now head to the counter to purchase.
Only the old biddy was obviously watching me all along. I had no sooner turned around and she was there and grabbed the mag off me and told me i was disgusting and what was i going to turn out like. She took down a copy of irelands own and made me buy that instead.

Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke.

I remember the first time I got a Porno magazine.
I was masturbating furiously, when I heard the shop keeper say.



"Are you going to fcking buy that or what?!"

syklops

Bugs Bunny when he was dressed as a girl bunny.

giant_midget

on the old analoge Sky....


late at night RTL, VOX etc

or...and i know this is bad...."pixie" from Prisoner Cell block H on UTV... :pac:

Auvers

giant_midget wrote: »

on the old analoge Sky....

hahah me too, used to go through the German channels hoping for a bit of T&A

I also got a pirate video of the "Never Ending Story" when I was around 13\14 and to my surprise the tape lived up to its title when I found a 10 minute lesbo scene at the very end of the tape

WoollyRedHat

foxyboxer wrote: »

Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke.

I remember the first time I got a Porno magazine.
I was masturbating furiously, when I heard the shop keeper say.



"Are you going to fcking buy that or what?!"

I remember when I was in first year, went into the local shop, and decided to have a sneak peek of some porno magazine, had been looking at it for less than 20 seconds, when the shopkeeper went up and said to me " Are you trying to get a horn". I was so embarassed I didn't go back there for about a month.