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My best friend kissed my brother!

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    #32
    Kya1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,879 ✭✭✭Kya1976


    Dont see what the big deal is tbh


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    #33
    VO
    Closed Accounts Posts: 112 ✭✭VO


    Exactly the same thing happened to me. My VBF kisse dmy brother and I did not speak to her for ages. I relaised she was using me to get to him and I found it totally unacceptable. This had a major impact on me and my relationship with my VBF eventually broke up. However I soon found another VBF and she never kisse dmy brother.


    By the way I was 3 years old and my brother was 4.


    Get a life


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    #34
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    I think everyone's being a bit hard on the OP. If everything were grand in his relationship with his brother, I'd also say he should cop on. But if his brother is really nasty to him, sure it'd bother me too. It isn't about his friend having to think his brother is a dick just because the OP thinks he is. But I'll say one thing for damn sure: If someone repeatedly hurt my best friend, there's no way I'd make out with him. I do think it's a conflict of interests, depending on just what the elder brother does to the younger that makes him so bad.

    Also, the fact that the BFF defended the bro for ages is a little shitty. If the elder brother is really rotten to the younger, and he looks to his best friend for support, and she's so busy jonesing for the bastard that she won't even properly support her friend (possibly making him feel like it's his fault that his brother's an ass), then sure that would upset most people. I think this all boils down to a loyalty issue.

    But it really does depend on just how bad the elder brother is to the younger.


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    #35
    Chucky the tree
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    If this thread were about a guy kissing his best friends sisters there would be different responses!!

    OP, the first time she kisses him, while not the end of the world, was a little heartless. It's perfectly acceptable to want a little bit of notice for things like that rather than just walk in on it! But, all in all, it would have been forgotten quite quickly yes?

    However, the fact that she saw you were upset and apologised, and THEN did it again? No, that's not on at all, in fact that's way beyond out of order and shows a complete lack of respect for your feelings.

    I'd be having words.
    PillyPen wrote: »
    I think everyone's being a bit hard on the OP. If everything were grand in his relationship with his brother, I'd also say he should cop on. But if his brother is really nasty to him, sure it'd bother me too. It isn't about his friend having to think his brother is a dick just because the OP thinks he is. But I'll say one thing for damn sure: If someone repeatedly hurt my best friend, there's no way I'd make out with him. I do think it's a conflict of interests, depending on just what the elder brother does to the younger that makes him so bad.

    Also, the fact that the BFF defended the bro for ages is a little shitty. If the elder brother is really rotten to the younger, and he looks to his best friend for support, and she's so busy jonesing for the bastard that she won't even properly support her friend (possibly making him feel like it's his fault that his brother's an ass), then sure that would upset most people. I think this all boils down to a loyalty issue.

    But it really does depend on just how bad the elder brother is to the younger.




    I think alot people are missing these points. If the brother has been pretty bad to the OP and the bestfriend knew about it scoring the brother is really bad form. But for her to do it again as soon as your turn your back is even worse.


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    #36
    iguana
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 12,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭iguana


    PillyPen wrote: »
    Also, the fact that the BFF defended the bro for ages is a little shitty. If the elder brother is really rotten to the younger, and he looks to his best friend for support, and she's so busy jonesing for the bastard that she won't even properly support her friend (possibly making him feel like it's his fault that his brother's an ass), then sure that would upset most people. I think this all boils down to a loyalty issue.

    But it really does depend on just how bad the elder brother is to the younger.

    While it's possible that the OPs brother is very nasty to him it is also possible that it's just normal sibling rivalry in action and that his friend has just been pointing that out. She may just have been trying to help by trying to get the OP to see his brother's pov.

    OP I really think you are doing the wrong thing by not talking to her. You will only get to the bottom of this by talking it through. You can't really know why she did this until you have an honest chat with her. I think part of you isn't talking to her right now as you want to punish her and show her how much she has hurt you. But all you are doing is letting yourself stew in the situation while talking to her could make you feel better.


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    #37
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    iguana wrote: »
    While it's possible that the OPs brother is very nasty to him it is also possible that it's just normal sibling rivalry in action and that his friend has just been pointing that out. She may just have been trying to help by trying to get the OP to see his brother's pov.

    Yep, that's true! That's why I said it depends on the level of harassment from the brother. (And I guess she did get quite the pov from the brother's side, haha.) :)


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    #38
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    FreeFallin and VO if you've nothing to add of a constructive nature and written in a constructive manner, then please don't post. A read of the specific charter of this forum would be good plan. Thank you.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #39
    CianRyan
    Registered Users Posts: 14,721 ✭✭✭✭CianRyan


    Personally, i cant see anything wrong with this, other than you being selfish.
    But if it bothers you, then talk to them about it, i wouldnt ask them not to do it again.
    If i was the one doing the kissing, i'd be a little ticked off.
    You have to look at this from either end.


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    #40
    Overheal
    Registered Users Posts: 81,845 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    can i ask, does your brother know youre gay? i just assume she does.


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    #41
    No1XtinaFan
    Registered Users Posts: 125 ✭✭No1XtinaFan


    CareBear2008 wrote: »
    Not the most sensationalist title in recent times but it's really knocked me for six. We were out in a club and when I turned around there they were...on each other...I gave her the daggers, she said sorry then when I returned from the bathroom it happened again.

    I can't bring myself to speak to either of them.

    Am I right to be upset/annoyed or am I being a selfish prat, where's the love and all that jazz?

    Need your advice.
    CareBear2008 wrote: »
    He's my older brother, we don't get on, he undermines everything I do.
    She's my younger best friend, I have no sexual feelings towards her, I'm gay. I can't explain why it upsets me so much, it just does.


    Yes you are being a selfish prat. :mad:

    I was/am in the exact same position execpt I'm the best friend.

    5 yrs ago I kissed my boyfriend who I now have been living with for the past 2 and half years.

    His younger sister (my best friend at the time) only started talking to me in August this year.
    She was my best mate and I didn't do it to hurt her. I genuinely liked him and him me.

    When she wasn't happy about it I told him we couldn't go out then she said she was fine with it. 6 months later she blanked me.

    I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and although it upsets me that she reacted the way she did, I love my boyfriend and don't regret it.

    Get over yourself, how is this affecting you? You could end up losing your friendship.


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    #42
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    No1XtinaFan wrote: »
    Yes you are being a selfish prat. :mad:

    I was/am in the exact same position execpt I'm the best friend.

    5 yrs ago I kissed my boyfriend who I now have been living with for the past 2 and half years.

    His younger sister (my best friend at the time) only started talking to me in August this year.
    She was my best mate and I didn't do it to hurt her. I genuinely liked him and him me.

    When she wasn't happy about it I told him we couldn't go out then she said she was fine with it. 6 months later she blanked me.

    I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and although it upsets me that she reacted the way she did, I love my boyfriend and don't regret it.

    Get over yourself, how is this affecting you? You could end up losing your friendship.

    How did your boyfriend treat his sister? That makes all the difference in the world


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    #43
    jim o doom
    Registered Users Posts: 1,474 ✭✭✭jim o doom


    PillyPen wrote: »
    How did your boyfriend treat his sister? That makes all the difference in the world

    No it doesn't from the OP - the op was mentionning his bro being a cnut and undermining him, etc etc etc - which is basic sibling rivalry & happens to pretty much every brother, sister or whatever that I've ever known (me and my sister included).. Unless he is being the absoulte prince of darkness, it's just normal brother stuff, so the OP should really just get over it, make up with his mate, tell her he was hurt by what she did, but accepts she likes his bro regardless of how he feels & just GET ON with his life.


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    #44
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    jim o doom wrote: »
    No it doesn't from the OP - the op was mentionning his bro being a cnut and undermining him, etc etc etc - which is basic sibling rivalry & happens to pretty much every brother, sister or whatever that I've ever known (me and my sister included).. Unless he is being the absoulte prince of darkness, it's just normal brother stuff, so the OP should really just get over it, make up with his mate, tell her he was hurt by what she did, but accepts she likes his bro regardless of how he feels & just GET ON with his life.

    That's an awful lot to infer from very little that the OP said.


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    #45
    Lollipops23
    Registered Users Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    i really don't get why you're so distressed about this??it'd be ok if you felt just a bit surprised, as you said you really suspected nothing, but you can't treat them so horribly just because they snogged.Big whoop. they're adults who are allowed kiss whoever they like and do so without worrying if they're going to cause you to have a meltdown.


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    #46
    No1XtinaFan
    Registered Users Posts: 125 ✭✭No1XtinaFan


    PillyPen wrote: »
    How did your boyfriend treat his sister? That makes all the difference in the world
    no different to before we started going out, she didn't stop talking to him either! He did tell her she was being a sap though as did everyone else in the family at the time


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