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My best friend kissed my brother!

  • 18-12-2008 03:19AM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34


    Not the most sensationalist title in recent times but it's really knocked me for six. We were out in a club and when I turned around there they were...on each other...I gave her the daggers, she said sorry then when I returned from the bathroom it happened again.

    I can't bring myself to speak to either of them.

    Am I right to be upset/annoyed or am I being a selfish prat, where's the love and all that jazz?

    Need your advice.


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34 CareBear2008


    Yeah could you please move it for me please. Thanks


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,271 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    PI for this? In all seriousness, get over it!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,683 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    I fail to see any problem here. Your brother kissed a girl you happen to be best friends with. Well, you know he's not gay at least (Not that theres anything wrong with that) other than that, this is the ONLY remote-explaination I can think of:



    Grow up and stop the turf war.


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,225 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    Moved from after hours.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,085 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    Why are you annoyed with them both OP? Do you fancy your friend? Do you not get on with your brother? I can't really see why it'd be a problem if they both like each other and decide to hook up.

    You really need to let us know why this is a problem for you so we can give you some better advice/thoughts.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34 CareBear2008


    He's my older brother, we don't get on, he undermines everything I do.
    She's my younger best friend, I have no sexual feelings towards her, I'm gay. I can't explain why it upsets me so much, it just does.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭Nothingcompares


    let them have their fun don't be a cock blocking bitch


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,010 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    They're both independent people so let them go for it, it probably just seems a bit wierd at the moment, but at least you know both your bro and best friend are with someone you can trust.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,683 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    He's my older brother, we don't get on, he undermines everything I do.
    She's my younger best friend, I have no sexual feelings towards her, I'm gay. I can't explain why it upsets me so much, it just does.
    im judging by the sig youre the gay younger brother?

    Now see, if you had mentioned that in the first place.. I can then understand why your best friend, a straight girl that gets you, hooking up with your straight undermining older brother, might be a legitimate issue for you.

    get a decent chance to talk with her yet?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34 CareBear2008


    Nope haven't talked to her since it happened on Sunday. I told her I need space. It's not as if it's a relationship I suppose, but has she always secretly fancied him?? and never told me, I've told her all my issues with him over past few years and she has always stood up for him....


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 533 ✭✭✭SpookyDoll


    Ah let them on OP.

    I know you told her all your issues with him, but remember sexual attraction is strong and hard to resist.

    What type of stuff went on with your brother, is it just regular sibling rivalry etc or more serious........


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Nothingcompares 1 week ban for personal abuse.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    If this thread were about a guy kissing his best friends sisters there would be different responses!!

    OP, the first time she kisses him, while not the end of the world, was a little heartless. It's perfectly acceptable to want a little bit of notice for things like that rather than just walk in on it! But, all in all, it would have been forgotten quite quickly yes?

    However, the fact that she saw you were upset and apologised, and THEN did it again? No, that's not on at all, in fact that's way beyond out of order and shows a complete lack of respect for your feelings.

    I'd be having words.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,474 ✭✭✭jim o doom


    You should talk to your mate about it - even you are a bit unhappy about it and don't want to talk about it, getting it out in the open sooner is far better. You may have to accept, ultimately, that she wants go out with your brother & be your friend too.. if you can't accept that you might lose your best friend, is that something you really want? - I know you have troubles with your brother, but siblings always do, hell me and my sister were at war until I moved out of the house years ago! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Your best friend and your brother are entitled to kiss whoever they want, they don't need your permission.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    TheZohan wrote: »
    Your best friend and your brother are entitled to kiss whoever they want, they don't need your permission.
    What if your best friend kissed your mother (or father)?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    What if your best friend kissed your mother (or father)?

    My best friend has four legs, it happens all the time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 112 ✭✭VO


    OMG - She kissed your brother. Lose her as a friend that is just soo unacceptable


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 751 ✭✭✭Colonel_McCoy


    OP.

    what the problem here? !? At the end of that day its none of your business. they can do what they want.

    You need to lean back


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    VO wrote: »
    OMG - She kissed your brother. Lose her as a friend that is just soo unacceptable

    Why is that unacceptable?

    OP - while I can see how you might be annoyed since you don't really get on with your brother you can't really dictate who your friend or your brother kiss. And if you make a big deal out of it it'll just drive them together.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭Gurgle


    He's my older brother, we don't get on, he undermines everything I do.
    She's my younger best friend, I have no sexual feelings towards her, I'm gay. I can't explain why it upsets me so much, it just does.

    Soooo - if your best friend is getting off with your brother, you can either take the opportunity to build a closer relationship with your brother or throw a tantrum because she's your friend.

    Without asking specifics about a lady's age, are you over or under 15 ?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    My sister went out with my mate for a year. I didn't give a ****. They were happy, and I don't get along great with my sister either.

    I went out with my sister's best mate for about 6 months. My sister stopped speaking to her. Treated her like crap pretty much and it reallly hurt my then girlfriend, We broke up 6 months later, mainly cos of that. They're back to being friends. Bottom line is that i still think my sister is a bitch for the way she acted and still haven't ever forgiven her properly for it.

    My advice is to cop the **** on and stop being an immature pain in the arse because that's all you are at the moment (here comes the ban stick) If your mate wants to go out with your brother then let her, it's her business and you have absolutely no right to dictate in what she does. Grow up and start acting like an adult.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,392 ✭✭✭✭Vegeta


    Is this really a cause for drama in your life.

    Two people you know well have shown affection towards each other.

    Why do you feel hurt, is it because you don't like your older brother and you see your friends actions as a betrayal (as clearly she does like him, at least physically)?

    You say your brother undermines you, in what ways? IS that the only reason you dislike him?

    Are you jealous your older brother may be "stealing" your best friend?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 174 ✭✭In$omniac


    He's my older brother, we don't get on, he undermines everything I do.

    That's what most older brothers do til you both become adults :D
    They kissed big deal, or was it a case he said to her 'giz a kiss it will really pish him off'. I think you are reading into this a little too much, what's done is done.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Am I right to be upset

    If you are under fifteen, then you can put it down to hormones and jealousy.
    If you are over fifteen, it's time to grow up and learn when something is not your business.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    He's my older brother, we don't get on, he undermines everything I do.
    She's my younger best friend, I have no sexual feelings towards her, I'm gay. I can't explain why it upsets me so much, it just does.

    I assume you don't get on with your brother and are happy enough to chat to you mate about it. As she is YOUR mate you kind of subconciously feel that she too should think that your brother is a bit of a dick.

    Here is the thing....she doesn't have to think that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 737 ✭✭✭Morgase


    OP I think you will have to just deal with it yourself. Your brother and your friend can kiss or go out with whoever they like, including each other.

    I started going out with my brother's friend when we were all teenagers. Brother wasn't happy about it but almost 9 years later we are still going strong, and Brother has long since dealt with it and happy for us. Will you be annoyed if your brother and friend start going out together?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,271 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    Overheal wrote: »
    im judging by the sig youre the gay younger brother?

    Now see, if you had mentioned that in the first place.. I can then understand why your best friend, a straight girl that gets you, hooking up with your straight undermining older brother, might be a legitimate issue for you.

    get a decent chance to talk with her yet?

    Yeah he should definitely have mentioned that - sig didn't exactly explain it all. I think I see what the OP is getting at.

    My point stands though. Get over it, you need to be able to shrug it off and say "**** it". You shouldn't dislike either of them over it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Carebear wrote:
    She's my younger best friend, I have no sexual feelings towards her, I'm gay. I can't explain why it upsets me so much, it just does.


    It's normal to feel territorial over friends and if something further were to happen between your brother and your best friend, the best friend relationship dynamic is highly likely to change and that's scaring you the most.

    You've taken the wrong course of actions. Look at this logically:

    They kiss, you get bitchy, forbidding them from seeing one another drives them closer together, elephant is brought into the room for you and your friend, friendship shrivells

    They kiss, you act as if it doesn't bother you and give her a bit of a slagging, hold your head high, she'll still see you as a friend and things will get back to normal when things fade with your brother.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 234 ✭✭FreeFallin


    Gurgle wrote: »
    Without asking specifics about a lady's age, are you over or under 15 ?

    Haha thats hillarious, its a man, a gay man so that explains the name, but a man none the less


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