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Does virginity shaming exist?

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    #62
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    ittakestwo wrote: »
    I wouldn't think in this age that because someone has never had a partner that then they are a virgin. I would know a few people who I never remember having a partner but don't presume they are virgins

    Well I think most people would conclude I'm a bit of a socially awkward loner/oddball who doesn't have many friends and what they would then presume of my sex life is anyone's guess, if they think at all of course.


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    #63
    dd973
    Registered Users Posts: 625 ✭✭✭dd973


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    I have no interest in visiting an escort, others may that's up to them, but for me the idea of having sex with someone who whilst doing it doesn't actually find you attractive seems really off putting.

    Since I refuse to visit an escort I recognise I'm running the risk of dying a virgin, which I've accepted I now probably will do, given I'm nearly 34 and have come nowhere near close.

    But I'd rather that than visit an escort.

    Respect your choice, but why go to your grave a virgin when all these other people, a lot of whom are twats, are scooping up water from the 'River of Life' and guzzling it from their goblets all around you. I'd rather pay for it and have a piece of the action and what they're enjoying instead of missing out on it, even if the sex is transactional and ersatz.

    If anything it stops you putting women and sex on an imaginary pedestal, something which only the 'cool' or 'big' people do, I've enjoyed all my paid for encounters and je ne regrette rien.


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    #64
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,041 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    Don't get me wrong I don't judge people for doing it, especially people in my situation who are facing the possibility of being a kissless virgin into elderly age.

    So unless you are in that situation it is difficult to know how to cure it, some people think getting it out of the way with a paid stranger helps them gain sexual confidence for when they do it with a person they genuinely like, there's certainly logic to that.

    For me it doesn't cure what is the real driving force behind it like social isolation and being ostracised by society etc, so in the long term it wouldn't make me feel happier.
    Yeah I can see the logic there alright. I remember reading a thread about this a few years back where a poster said he lost his virginity to an escort and then he met his first girlfriend a few months later. He said he was kind of sorry he didn't wait but at the same time he was glad to have the experience.


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    #65
    playonplayette
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭playonplayette


    iptba wrote: »
    Sorry to hear that happened to you, particularly at such a young age.

    Thanks but it wasn't a particularly traumatic experience or anything. I was a bit intimidated but that's all.

    I was just sharing to show the op another side to it from a woman's perspective.


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    #66
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    dd973 wrote: »
    Respect your choice, but why go to your grave a virgin when all these other people, a lot of whom are twats, are scooping up water from the 'River of Life' and guzzling it from their goblets all around you. I'd rather pay for it and have a piece of the action and what they're enjoying instead of missing out on it, even if the sex is transactional and ersatz.

    If anything it stops you putting women and sex on an imaginary pedestal, something which only the 'cool' or 'big' people do, I've enjoyed all my paid for encounters and je ne regrette rien.

    Most of these people aren't paying for it, well perhaps indirectly in other ways but they're not literally using escort services.

    Its just not something that appeals to me right now, I think if I'm going to end up living a largely sexless life then it might be better just to avoid the whole thing entirely.

    I might change my opinion by the time I'm 40 of course.


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    #67
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,078 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    but for me the idea of having sex with someone who whilst doing it doesn't actually find you attractive seems really off putting.

    You could be in a relationship with someone like that who is with you for other reasons other than finding you attractive. Very common for women not to find the men they are with attractive but go with them anyway out of a lack of options or because they are loaded.


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