Does virginity shaming exist?

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I did say abroad, so somewhere where it is legal. Plenty of places in close proximity or further afield. Her body her choice and all that - not to drag the conversation off topic.

Ahh yeah but in those circumstances it’s a bit like the ugly kids mother hanging a string of sausages around the child’s neck to get the dog to play with him when none of the other kids wanted anything to do with him, ie - it’s a bit shìte really, the idea of having to pay someone to have sex with you when you’re both aware that they’re only doing it because you’re paying them

‘Virginity shaming’, more commonly known as just attempting to humiliate someone for any given reason, exists. I’ve known plenty of people who hadn’t had sex and they were in their 20’s, 30’s and well beyond. Just for one reason or another either they weren’t interested in having sex with anyone, or on the other hand they were too interested in having sex with someone, and people found this off-putting (think Jay from the InBetweeners!). Very few people though have ever been bitter about it, and the same proportion of people I suppose have ever thought it was something to humiliate someone about. Anyone who did so was generally viewed with pity as a bit simple minded.

Plenty of people in my experience have found it odd or curious if they couldn’t find any rational reason why someone hadn’t had sex as it’s something they take for granted. Thomas for example makes a good point and does with a sense of humour, so I don’t imagine he has any trouble making friends or people find him an easy person to be around. Nobody questions it because they aren’t the type that would want to purposely humiliate the guy.

The OP’s question could apply to anything anyone seeks to humiliate another person about, not just whether or not they’ve had sex, or they have too much sex (yes there’s plenty of people will describe a guy in disparaging terms if he’s known to be a bit loose), but the only person who should feel ashamed of themselves in that scenario is the person who is so insecure in themselves that they feel the need to project their insecurities about themselves onto anyone else.

playonplayette wrote: »

I suppose it could exist, innocently enough between friends joking or as part of bullying or harassment. It would depend on someone's own outlook and own views about it whether you let it get to you or just see it for what it is.

Remember your one on loose women I think, said something about getting her son a prostitute or something. Can't remember it exactly but she shouldn't have said that on TV.

Anyway I'm not sure it is as simple as it is praised in women. I know what you mean though but it can often be used against women or conflictingly like being called frigid or something like that.

For example when I was around 13, I was approached by this girl of 16 and she asked me if I would be with her brother jamesy who was 14. She was a Traveller and they were camped up for a week or two in a field near our town so we had seen them around. Not a Traveller bashing post.

Anyway I said 'no'. She asked me why and was a bit intimidating but left it at that. Later that day Jamesy must have got some sort of rejection **** it courage because him and his little twerp friend who was about 12 but only looked 10 approached and stopped me on my bike with my friend wanting an explanation of why I wouldn't 'be with him' : confused: :pac:

He was holding onto the handlebars of the bike. I said because I just don't want too and his little friend piped up 'its because she's a virgin' as though there had to be some reason other than I just didn't want too. Jamesy looked at me and said "Is that it, is that what it is?'

For some reason my instinct said to say no so I defiantly told them no I wasn't a virgin (obviously I was). The little twerp friend said 'ah she is. She is a virgin' and Jamesy laughed and gave me a nod and they both walked on.

I looked at my friend breathing a sigh of relief and we cycled off.

Sorry to hear that happened to you, particularly at such a young age.

Mister Vain wrote: »

I literally just placed an order for chips and sausages ye bollix. It might not be that ****e though. It could be a lot better that remaining celibate, especially if she's hot.

I was coming home from the shop last night and a girl stopped me and asked me did I want to do some business. Nothing out of the ordinary looking about her other than the fact that she was hot in all fairness. It took me a minute to cop what she meant by “business”, had to explain to her I’d no money on me. Normally I wouldn’t mind giving someone a few quid if I have it anyway, wasn’t interested in doing any “business” though.

“I’d have done the business with you and all” is still ringing in my ears

(I did think about going back up to the shop where they have an ATM to get her a few quid, but I didn’t bring my wallet with me, paid by phone instead of by card, felt bad leaving her there )

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

Don't get me wrong I don't judge people for doing it, especially people in my situation who are facing the possibility of being a kissless virgin into elderly age.

So unless you are in that situation it is difficult to know how to cure it, some people think getting it out of the way with a paid stranger helps them gain sexual confidence for when they do it with a person they genuinely like, there's certainly logic to that.

For me it doesn't cure what is the real driving force behind it like social isolation and being ostracised by society etc, so in the long term it wouldn't make me feel happier.

Yeah I can see the logic there alright. I remember reading a thread about this a few years back where a poster said he lost his virginity to an escort and then he met his first girlfriend a few months later. He said he was kind of sorry he didn't wait but at the same time he was glad to have the experience.