Life ruining stories?

mr_fegelien · 20-11-2019 6:56pm #1

What's the worst way you've seen someone ruin their life who once "had it all"? I know two stories both involve drug use.

My friends dad in America was relatively well off after immigrating from Africa. Got a bad cavity on his wisdom tooth but didn't want to fork out money for a dentist. His colleague gave him a free bottle of painkillers. Immediately liked them and started secretly tapping into the families funds of €5,000 to a habit "on the weekend", long story short, quit his job from not being able to work from the withdrawal and started selling **** in their house. Wife figured out before he tried to sell the car and kicked him out only to have him later kill himself.

Had another friend here who graduated college and was pressured by friends to take some GHB, alcohol, and anti-anxiety pills. Went into a coma and died.

What's yours?

is_that_so · 20-11-2019 6:59pm

Solomon Grundy,
Born on a Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday,
That was the end,
Of Solomon Grundy

Quantum Erasure · 20-11-2019 6:59pm

lad i know pretty much fried his brain smoking weed every day...

Kimbot · 20-11-2019 7:03pm

Quantum Erasure wrote: »

lad i know pretty much fried his brain smoking weed every day...

It's not fried, it's baked :P

Quantum Erasure · 20-11-2019 7:07pm

Kimbot wrote: »

It's not fried, it's baked :P

he's not well, psychosis, paranoid delusions, hard to know how to help him or if i even could

Sheridan81 · 20-11-2019 7:17pm

Henry Richard Hammond springs to mind. He was a hairdresser with a kid and girlfriend and a nice life. He turned to drugs, ended up homeless and delusional, and battered another homeless person to death. This happened in Australia recently.

Andrew Cunanan, the spree killer who killed Versace.

Oscar Pistorius.

mr_fegelien · 20-11-2019 7:19pm

Sheridan81 wrote: »

Henry Richard Hammond springs to mind. He was a hairdresser with a kid and girlfriend and a nice life. He turned to drugs, ended up homeless and delusional, and battered another homeless person to death. This happened in Australia recently.

Andrew Cunanan, the spree killer who killed Versace.

Oscar Pistorius.

I didn't know Richard Hammond moved to Australia. I thought the worst thing that happened to him was that car crash a few years ago, never knew a millionaire become homeless.

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-11-2019 7:22pm

Gazzas tackle on Gary Charles

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 20-11-2019 7:25pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I didn't know Richard Hammond moved to Australia. I thought the worst thing that happened to him was that car crash a few years ago, never knew a millionaire become homeless.

:D:D

I assume you're joking!

Young fella once had great promise but messed about with soft drugs, experimented with drinking toxic substances, neglected his studies, spent too much time online, and ended up missing out on the great potential his life and background had given him and the chance to build lifelong friends.

Kimbot · 20-11-2019 7:26pm

Quantum Erasure wrote: »

he's not well, psychosis, paranoid delusions, hard to know how to help him or if i even could

Well in fairness I know a few long term smokers and none have gone that way, however I know a few long term smokers that took different drugs the odd time and that's how most of them are now.

JohnnyFlash · 20-11-2019 7:30pm

Quantum Erasure wrote: »

he's not well, psychosis, paranoid delusions, hard to know how to help him or if i even could

My cousin’s young lad is like that. Smoked weed every day. Harmless my eye. The poor lad is like a walking vegetable these days. Gets bouts of rage as well which is worrying.

NIMAN · 20-11-2019 7:36pm

Every single story involving drugs. Have never heard one that ended well.

Example, Pablo Escobar. This man had it all. Was at the top of the game, not like one of the wee toerag dealers on a street corner. One of the richest people in the world at one point.

Ended by with no friends and being hunted down like a dog.

Always makes me wonder why people take drug use so lightly. It will be the ruin of you in majority of cases.

ArnoldJRimmer · 20-11-2019 7:37pm

There was a lad I knew who was extremely successful in his job and had a bright future ahead. Wife, kids, nice house, the lot. He was generous to a fault, paying for people's drinks all night and stuff like that

Well it turns out there was a reason he could afford this perfect affluent lifestyle. He was running a ponzi scheme and defrauded a number of people out of hundreds of thousands of euro. Ended up losing his family and going to jail. Absolute idiot

Church on Tuesday · 20-11-2019 7:41pm

NIMAN wrote: »

Every single story involving drugs. Have never heard one that ended well.

Example, Pablo Escobar. This man had it all. Was at the top of the game, not like one of the wee toerag dealers on a street corner. One of the richest people in the world at one point.

Ended by with no friends and being hunted down like a dog.

Always makes me wonder why people take drug use so lightly. It will be the ruin of you in majority of cases.

It messed up poor aul Tony Montana too.

The world was truly his.

mr_fegelien · 20-11-2019 7:45pm

Kimbot wrote: »

Well in fairness I know a few long term smokers and none have gone that way, however I know a few long term smokers that took different drugs the odd time and that's how most of them are now.

To be fair, I think that's bull IMO. most people who end up wasters from weed, ecstasy etc...were already wasters. I know a guy in my class who dropped out from weed in TY but he wasn't the brightest bulb even when I knew him before he smoked weed.

If you have an underlying mental disorder, things like coke, amphetamines, MDMA, LSD, and weed can **** you up.

isohon · 20-11-2019 7:47pm

NIMAN wrote: »

Every single story involving drugs. Have never heard one that ended well.

Example, Pablo Escobar. This man had it all. Was at the top of the game, not like one of the wee toerag dealers on a street corner. One of the richest people in the world at one point.

Ended by with no friends and being hunted down like a dog.

Always makes me wonder why people take drug use so lightly. It will be the ruin of you in majority of cases.

...because this is demonstrable nonsense?

If the majority of cases of drug use lead to ruined lives then literally uncountable numbers of perfectly functioning people should be destroyed.

In my own experience male stupidity has been the biggest cause. Cheating.

20-11-2019 8:04pm

Marriage without an effective prenup. There you go. Millions of stories for both genders.

Ruined three people I know personally. Gorgeous houses, good incomes, etc. Got married, and within a few years were divorced, with their lives essentially being ruined. (Edit: Three different marriages.. should note that. )

Church on Tuesday · 20-11-2019 8:06pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Marriage without an effective prenup. There you go. Millions of stories for both genders.

Ruined three people I know personally. Gorgeous houses, good incomes, etc. Got married, and within a few years were divorced, with their lives essentially being ruined. (Edit: Three different marriages.. should note that. )

Or just don't get married until you are 100 per cent sure of the other person.

Pre nups are essential these days; not romantic I know but there ya go.

Leg End Reject · 20-11-2019 8:07pm

Pre-nups aren't recognised here and divorce settlements can be revisited and updated.

20-11-2019 8:07pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Marriage without an effective prenup. There you go. Millions of stories for both genders.

Ruined three people I know personally. Gorgeous houses, good incomes, etc. Got married, and within a few years were divorced, with their lives essentially being ruined. (Edit: Three different marriages.. should note that. )

Prenups aren't legally enforceable in Ireland yet as far as I'm aware. The courts can have regard to them but are under no obligation to do so.

20-11-2019 8:08pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Or just don't get married until you are 100 per cent sure of the other person.

Never been married myself. And as for 100% sure of the other person, is that even possible?

Pre nups are essential these days; not romantic I know but there ya go.

Agreed.

Church on Tuesday · 20-11-2019 8:10pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Never been married myself. And as for 100% sure of the other person, is that even possible?

Agreed.

Sadly it's no,t but you'd want to be something close to it before you both throw your lot in together.

banie01 · 20-11-2019 8:14pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Marriage without an effective prenup. There you go. Millions of stories for both genders.

Ruined three people I know personally. Gorgeous houses, good incomes, etc. Got married, and within a few years were divorced, with their lives essentially being ruined. (Edit: Three different marriages.. should note that. )

Given Pre-Nups are legally worthless in Ireland, what would you suggest one does to protect ones assets in Ireland then?

Doctors room ghost · 20-11-2019 8:14pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

To be fair, I think that's bull IMO. most people who end up wasters from weed, ecstasy etc...were already wasters. I know a guy in my class who dropped out from weed in TY but he wasn't the brightest bulb even when I knew him before he smoked weed.

If you have an underlying mental disorder, things like coke, amphetamines, MDMA, LSD, and weed can **** you up.

You want to look up the clinical term drug induced psychosis.

20-11-2019 8:17pm

banie01 wrote: »

Given Pre-Nups are legally worthless in Ireland, what would you suggest one does to protect ones assets in Ireland then?

Double contracts. Marriage in a foreign European country where prenups are enforced. Secondary contract stipulating the agreement that any divorce must be processed in that country and under it's laws. EU laws regarding contracts would provide a basis for guidance beyond the Irish law itself.

It's still a contract not made under duress, and witnessed. And therefore should be binding. If overruled, it still opens up many avenues for appeals.

20-11-2019 8:19pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Sadly it's no,t but you'd want to be something close to it before you both throw your lot in together.

Oh. I agree... but other people? They have their own ideas about love, commitment and what's required. Being cheated on, cured me of that kind of easy trust. I'll stick to living together with someone for a good few years before marriage is seriously considered.

TuringBot47 · 20-11-2019 8:25pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

What's the worst way you've seen someone ruin their life who once "had it all"? I know two stories both involve drug use.

A brother-in-law who died from a mixture of drugs and underlying medical conditions.

You could argue health is your wealth, when the likes of Steve Jobs couldn't defeat medical conditions with practically unlimited funds.

I've also seen people I went to college with, who struggled or couldn't quite get into a proper adult relationship and they never get married/have kids. Or ended up working in the same job for 25+ years after college and just completely losing their huge potential.

But it's typically drugs, alcohol or crime that messes up most peoples lives under their own control.

Or the sex pests/paedos that are outed.

Church on Tuesday · 20-11-2019 8:28pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh. I agree... but other people? They have their own ideas about love, commitment and what's required. Being cheated on, cured me of that kind of easy trust. I'll stick to living together with someone for a good few years before marriage is seriously considered.

It's different for everyone but you see any amount of people who get married for all the wrong reasons or just think it's the next logical thing to do.

I firmly agree with the later.

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-11-2019 8:31pm

Young and poor is the only way to get married

banie01 · 20-11-2019 8:34pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Double contracts. Marriage in a foreign European country where prenups are enforced. Secondary contract stipulating the agreement that any divorce must be processed in that country and under it's laws. EU laws regarding contracts would provide a basis for guidance beyond the Irish law itself.

It's still a contract not made under duress, and witnessed. And therefore should be binding. If overruled, it still opens up many avenues for appeals.

There's an interesting couple of hours to be whiled away in a contracts class.
However you will likely find that one cannot legally enforce an obligation to divorce in a specific jurisdiction.
One would easily avoid that caveat by the simple expedient of seeking to rely on country of residence as to giving rise to the jurisdiction of divorce.

While marriage may be a contract, seeking to rely on contract law in its dissolution is a means to rapidly having your arse handed to you be the judiciary.

That you or wherever you got the theory from spent the time thinking about ways to protect ones assets is interesting.
I can think of much more actually useful and less likely to be laughed out of court methods of protecting ones assets.
Ones that also don't require entering into a lifetime's partnership with an exit plan and a gold diggers charter already in place.

KevRossi · 20-11-2019 8:34pm

Gambling. Worked with a couple of people who destroyed their lives and their families with gambling.

One close friend made serious money over the past 25 years in construction but is separated and lives in a 2 bed terraced house in a so-so part of Dublin. House is in the brothers name so he can’t sell it to gamble away.

Other colleague in Germany went straight to a pub every day and fired what he had into one armed bandits. Has no contact to daughter as he never paid a cent towards her or got her a gift or card since she was 2 or 3. She’s a grown woman now.

SafeSurfer · 20-11-2019 8:43pm

Prince Andrew Windsor is a good example of someone who had every chance in life and messed up through his own poor decisions.

20-11-2019 8:47pm

is_that_so wrote: »

Solomon Grundy,
Born on a Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday,
That was the end,
Of Solomon Grundy

i only just watched that movie the other day

Fr Tod Umptious · 20-11-2019 8:57pm

KevRossi wrote: »

Gambling. Worked with a couple of people who destroyed their lives and their families with gambling.

One close friend made serious money over the past 25 years in construction but is separated and lives in a 2 bed terraced house in a so-so part of Dublin. House is in the brothers name so he can’t sell it to gamble away.

Other colleague in Germany went straight to a pub every day and fired what he had into one armed bandits. Has no contact to daughter as he never paid a cent towards her or got her a gift or card since she was 2 or 3. She’s a grown woman now.

The story of the postmaster from Carlow or somewhere near there comes to mind.

Never gambled in his life.
Got a €50 Paddy Power voucher from a brother in law as a Christmas present.

Ended up doing jail time for stealing from An Post to feed the habit.

Wrote a book about it.

whiskeyman · 20-11-2019 9:01pm

Michael Carroll.
Petty criminal won £10m on the UK lottery.
Blew it all on drink, drugs, fast cars and women.

He's happier now broke... Poor lad.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/lotto-winner-mickey-carroll-skint-20891585

Ipso · 20-11-2019 9:07pm

whiskeyman wrote: »

Michael Carroll.
Petty criminal won £10m on the UK lottery.
Blew it all on drink, drugs, fast cars and women.

He's happier now broke... Poor lad.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/lotto-winner-mickey-carroll-skint-20891585

My heart bleeds for him, maybe his friend Johnny Adair can embrace him to his bosom.

Doctors room ghost · 20-11-2019 9:37pm

Fr Tod Umptious wrote: »

The story of the postmaster from Carlow or somewhere near there comes to mind.

Never gambled in his life.
Got a €50 Paddy Power voucher from a brother in law as a Christmas present.

Ended up doing jail time for stealing from An Post to feed the habit.

Wrote a book about it.

Tony 10.
He did a documentary on tg4 lately.
It was an eye opener.
The bit about the gift voucher was made up along the way though If it’s the same lad you are thinking of

debok · 20-11-2019 10:07pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

A brother-in-law who died from a mixture of drugs and underlying medical conditions.

You could argue health is your wealth, when the likes of Steve Jobs couldn't defeat medical conditions with practically unlimited funds.

I've also seen people I went to college with, who struggled or couldn't quite get into a proper adult relationship and they never get married/have kids. Or ended up working in the same job for 25+ years after college and just completely losing their huge potential.

But maybe that's just your perception. They could be happy as Larry in that 25 year job or didn't want to have children.
Or maybe there secret serial killer /rapist's and there so called struggling life is a front for what they enjoy doing

Irish Praetorian · 20-11-2019 11:18pm

debok wrote: »

But maybe that's just your perception. They could be happy as Larry in that 25 year job or didn't want to have children.
Or maybe there secret serial killer /rapist's and there so called struggling life is a front for what they enjoy doing

+1 to that. Or you could have quite a few mental issues at play just below the surface like depression or anxiety or even autism. I work with people who have special needs and for them, putting in the 9 to 5, even for just a few days a week at min wage, let alone living successfully on their own, is a siginificant achievement that takes a lot of hard work. And they do have the option of taking an easier route like going on full disability or living completely at the states expense, but they put themselves out there and graft.

Mad_maxx · 20-11-2019 11:39pm

whiskeyman wrote: »

Michael Carroll.
Petty criminal won £10m on the UK lottery.
Blew it all on drink, drugs, fast cars and women.

He's happier now broke... Poor lad.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/lotto-winner-mickey-carroll-skint-20891585

Thick as a plank, saw a documentary about him

debok · 20-11-2019 11:48pm

Irish Praetorian wrote: »

+1 to that. Or you could have quite a few mental issues at play just below the surface like depression or anxiety or even autism. I work with people who have special needs and for them, putting in the 9 to 5, even for just a few days a week at min wage, let alone living successfully on their own, is a siginificant achievement that takes a lot of hard work. And they do have the option of taking an easier route like going on full disability or living completely at the states expense, but they put themselves out there and graft.

Personally speaking I packed in a good job to do a work from home job due to the fact it helped with my depression. I gave up drinking and started to live healthy and cut out the negative ****e in my life.. Anyway one of my friends told everyone in the local I was after having a mental breakdown. Went back in there after about 6 months away and another friend pulled me aside to see was I recovering well.so my point is I am perfectly happy but that whole pub was of the opinion I was after having a nervous breakdown.So people's perceptions can be wrong.

dartboardio · 20-11-2019 11:57pm

Yep perception is what it's all about really.

I am 21, work in a call centre and when I started I saw lots of women in their 40s, working there ten years, still on minimum wage,

In my mind I was kinda pitying them and thinking jesus I don't wanna be still in a dead end job when I'm 40, I know that may be a judgemental attitude, I'm a firm believer in a job is a job but you know what I mean.

Then someone said to me maybe they don't even rely on that job, everyone has a different life, who knows, some of them may be there just for something to do/have a rich husband etc and just go to get out of the house or similar.

Get Real · 21-11-2019 12:01am

KevRossi wrote: »

Gambling. Worked with a couple of people who destroyed their lives and their families with gambling.

One close friend made serious money over the past 25 years in construction but is separated and lives in a 2 bed terraced house in a so-so part of Dublin. House is in the brothers name so he can’t sell it to gamble away.

Other colleague in Germany went straight to a pub every day and fired what he had into one armed bandits. Has no contact to daughter as he never paid a cent towards her or got her a gift or card since she was 2 or 3. She’s a grown woman now.

Acquaintance of mine developed gambling issues. Emailed all the bookies he had accounts with to block him off and close him out.

One in particular, emailed him along the lines "sorry to hear that, but to thank you for your custom over the years, here's 25 euro free for your account". It wasn't any of the "big" ones well known here, but was a legitimate gambling site. Online and based offshore.

He was wise enough not to take it obv and thankfully all good now. Once I heard that, I personally vowed never to gamble again (wouldnt have gambled much anyway, just Cheltenham & Stephens day)

dartboardio · 21-11-2019 12:03am

Get Real wrote: »

Acquaintance of mine developed gambling issues. Emailed all the bookies he had accounts with to block him off and close him out.

One in particular, emailed him along the lines "sorry to hear that, but to thank you for your custom over the years, here's 25 euro free for your account". It wasn't any of the "big" ones well known here, but was a legitimate gambling site. Online and based offshore.

He was wise enough not to take it obv and thankfully all good now. Once I heard that, I personally vowed never to gamble again (wouldnt have gambled much anyway, just Cheltenham & Stephens day)

Jesus that's terrible! I found most of the gambling sites to be pretty good with that though, warning you if you've been on it for an hour, asking you to set up a limit, promoting somewhat healthy gambling etc

Last year I got a fondness for online slots, but I do have a take it or leave it attitude, might go at something for two weeks then not touch it for a year, although I did win a few hundred

Princess Calla · 21-11-2019 12:12am

dartboardio wrote: »

Yep perception is what it's all about really.

I am 21, work in a call centre and when I started I saw lots of women in their 40s, working there ten years, still on minimum wage,

In my mind I was kinda pitying them and thinking jesus I don't wanna be still in a dead end job when I'm 40, I know that may be a judgemental attitude, I'm a firm believer in a job is a job but you know what I mean.

Then someone said to me maybe they don't even rely on that job, everyone has a different life, who knows, some of them may be there just for something to do/have a rich husband etc and just go to get out of the house or similar.

If I'd a rich husband the last place I'd work (well one of them anyway) is a callcentre.

just from stories I've heard....I'm deaf anyway so physically probably couldn't do it anyway

dartboardio · 21-11-2019 12:45am

Princess Calla wrote: »

If I'd a rich husband the last place I'd work (well one of them anyway) is a callcentre. just from stories I've heard....I'm deaf anyway so physically probably couldn't do it anyway

I agree with you!

Duckworth_Luas · 21-11-2019 12:57am

A guy from where my parents live was also too mean to go to the dentist,

So with a rotten tooth about to come out he tied a piece of string around the tooth, tied the other end to a door knob and git his brother to slam the door shut. Three Stooges type nonsense.

Well the tooth was not ready to come out, but his jaw bone was. Managed to completely dislocated his jaw.

The problem was so severe that it could not be fixed by any doctor in Ireland.

The community rallied around and there was numerous fundraisers for the guy to get him help off a specialist in the USA.

Turns out the specialist was a "faith healer".

Poor guy is now dead. A life of tortuous pain because he wouldn't pay £100 for a dentist.

Life ruining stories?

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