What has Covid done to your family?

Plumbthedepths · 11-07-2020 2:18am

I worked throughout no change, my wife sat at home for €30 a week less, my son who was working in Supermacs one day a week for €80 suddenly was on €350 a week. Plus side college fees helped in 2021.

Tellyium · 11-07-2020 2:47am

Within my family, myself and my wife are wfh, so luckily not affected financially by Covid. Doing the best we can juggling work and giving the kids (6 and 4) as much attention as possible.
Honestly, worried that, while we’re all together all the time, myself and my wife are not ‘present’ for the kids when we’re working.
This is a huge issue for working mums especially, leave aside gender politics for a while, they look for Mom 90% of the time and the fact they know Mon is in the building means they interrupt her frequently.
We’re spreading out our working week over seven days and alternating early (6am) starts to work to try have one of us focused on them always. It’s tricky, but ye have to play what’s in front of you and manage as best you can.
So much depends on what happens with schools in September though. If they’re not open, we need to move on from this firefighting to something more structured.
My own family are ok, Mum is in her late eighties and at hone, so while we visit, it’s at a distance and I miss giving her a big hug, but so long as she’s ok, that’s ok)

ziedth · 11-07-2020 9:35am

Wife was fairly good about it and enjoyed working from home and being with the kids.

I work in the recycling industry (so "essential") and kept going into the office which really helped me I think. I only found one week hard and had zoom drinks with some mates which brought me out of it.

My youngest child (4) didn't take any notice and was a star.

My eldest (8) took it the hardest. Major shift in him for a number of weeks between not seeing friends, going out, grandparents he was a shell of himself for the longest time. Of all the bizzare things to pull him out it was playing with his cousin on Fortnite got him through the worst of the lockdown. He was fine once he could call into grandparents again they live close enough so once restrictions went over but he even found the social distancing hard then (which we don't do anymore). He's back to himself now.

I really fear what would happen if we go into another lockdown with him.

11-07-2020 3:24pm

My mother died of covid in a nursing home. One of many. The last day I saw her in the flesh was February 28th. Being unable to visit her, especially while she was ill, (20 days from first symptom to death) or be there to hold her hand to comfort her as she passed away, and then have to bury her with no proper funeral, will have a lasting affect me for the rest of my life. 20 days of horrible strain on the whole family, in limbo waiting by the phone for news but not wanting to answer it when it rang in case it was bad (which it eventually was). Feeling useless because I know she would have looked for me during that time. I feel like I failed her and I'm angry and unable to grieve properly, and my mental health has definitely been affected.

byhookorbycrook · 11-07-2020 3:28pm

MIL contracted Covid, very nearly lost her . Now in a nursing home as she can no longer be managed at home . Couldn’t see her for months , except through a window . A niece worked in a nursing home , contracted it in early April.Came through as well but still very “ shook.”

milli milli · 12-07-2020 2:20am

A bit of a mixed bag for me. I don’t have my own family (& may never have

) & having to stare that situation in the face (instead of avoiding it) has been mentally & emotionally taxing. I hope those who were driven mad by their kids during the lockdown (& I know it can be tough) really cherish & appreciate them.
I also had a painful injury that I was getting treatment for before the lockdown and then had nothing for 3 months, so that was challenging too. I lost my job and eventually got the payment 2 months later.

But you know I’m a glass half full person. Luckily I had a creative outlet that got me through the worst of it. And appreciating all the small good things in life - that has saved my life over and over again. And honestly being so close to nature and having the time to really observe & appreciate it has been a remarkable healing experience.

gebbel · 12-07-2020 3:20am

Just wanted to throw it out here where no doubt there are folk feeling the same. Life under Covid is wearing me down a bit. I’m a single man of 43 years old. I used to socialize a good bit. Visit my family lots. Life nowadays is very solitary. I used to like a sociable drink with mates but now I find I’m drinking by myself getting wasted watching Netflix. Because I work in a large company where there have been cases of Covid and multiple cases of self isolation for contact with a suspected case, I am paranoid about going anywhere and most wouldn’t want me anyway because of that.

I’ve a large family, they’re all married and most have kids. It’s video calls daily which helps:

I’m rambling. To answer the question of the thread. My relationship with my family is much stronger now than it ever was. Because I’ve told them what I’ve said here and they’re concerned. As all good family would be and it’s great to have that support. I’ve told them not to worry. We are going to come out the other side one day. Just have to plough on and endure.

Tell me how · 12-07-2020 4:38am

I've noticed a gradual decline in all my siblings general mental health over this period. I don't have direct family myself and live in US so wouldn't have been seeing people in person anyway but noticed on the group chats how conversation changed in tone to fewer and fewer messages as time went on. When communicating directly with people, it became obvious that there was no 'news' and it was difficult to have light hearted conversations with so little stimulus. 3 of my siblings have children under 3 and are working from home and have found it very exhausting, to be trying to combine work and childcare with no outlet or support from others possible.
Personally, I had a bizarre phonecall with my mother in which she said that if either her or my dad get it, that it is best to not come home because we'd have to stay apart anyway and there wouldn't be anything I could do to help them. If someone said I could fly home for a weekend and just hug them and eat my mothers home cooked meals and watch a GAA match with my Dad, I'd do it without even asking the cost. But, he would definitely be in the high risk category were he to get so there is no way to take that chance.

But, in a measure of how much I miss people at home, I might even consider coming home in August even if it means quarantining for 2 weeks and then only seeing my parents for a few days before coming back. Will see, the US is such a mess with Covid that in another few weeks, it might not even be an option.

NSAman · 12-07-2020 6:23am

On the whole a good experience with a few nasty moments that have really brought home how far from family I actually am.

Working from home here in the States has been a blessing. I do not spend as much time in the office now (back about 2 weeks). The house has been revamped and cleaned from inside out.

Financially, it has not really changed anything. I am lucky in that most of the business is done online and clients have been very understanding about issues, as they are facing the same issues.

What has really hit me hard, was the loss of a close relative (not due to the virus) but the lack of being able to be there with the family. The funeral was not our “normal” funeral as a family. One member of the family has been confirmed with the virus, which has been a worrying time. Being so far from everything and normally being the one who solves issues, this was difficult for me personally.

On a strange note, it has also brought me to realise that the USA is full of complete assholes who are probably the most selfish people on the face of the planet. The sense of the “common good” has disappeared for the majority of Americans.. it has hastened my attempts to return home. Despite having amazing neighbours, the amount of selfish dicks I have come across here lately has sullied America for me.

NegativeCreep · 12-07-2020 12:10pm

I was paid 35% more to work 50% less hours so that was great. I didn’t get to see family as often but kept in touch through WhatsApp all the time like we do anyway. Dad got sick and mam got worse and were fobbed off at the hospital each time I brought them because the only disease they cared about was covid so that wasn’t great.

What has Covid done to your family?

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