Your father

FHFM50 wrote: »

You had sex education in your school, at night, with your parents?

Yes, it was at the end of sixth class.
We first had a talk with a Garda about drugs and then a lady talked about sex education! It would have been about 19:30 and our parents sat at the back of the room.

I have 2 teenage boys who if have any problems be it with girlfriends or any other will talk to me about it, sometimes i don't know the right answers, some problems its just life, but it always amazes me that they do that and this makes me happy that they feel they can, i put it down to my wife always encourages them to talk, , now no way in hell would i approach my dad in the same way (back in 70/80se), he would think i have lost it, but this generation now is so different maybe because of social media i don't know.
Even though i felt i couldn't talk to him and id be right ,he still done a great job in bringing us up.

I dont know if I could ever do credit to my father or mother in such a post. But I wanted to acknowledge how good they were to me. So I felt I could not pass this thread without a least giving a token nod to the super father he was.

My father was a very hard working quite man, very tactile and affectionate. He was the oldest boy in the family and went to work at 12. His work allowed the other seven kids to finish school. He got the farmer and tired every way to turn a bob, I can remember him in the summer baling till 1 o clock in the morning for weeks. He would cut timber, sell fencing poles, farmer and work in the forestry. Our oldest brother died in accident and he and my mother carried that hurt without letting it blight our lives. He as I said was tactile and would throw his arm around me a lot, which made me uncomfortable as I got older. As a father now I can see it was his way of showing he loved you, as he came from a generation that did not say it to their kids.

He used to say "come along for the company" when he would be going on a job. Which we taught was code for hard work, but really he did the hard work and we were along for just that "the company". They were great with money and we never wanted for anything, because that was the way everyone lived.

He enjoyed gaa and cards and made a great partnership with my mother. Our house never had a raised voice. He passed away suddenly while on my honeymoon. Massive funeral, he had worked on some many farms and done so many people turns and it was great to hear the stories of such.

I have benefited as he worked to get me through college, so I was set up for life. I think his and my mother work and investment in us has benefited not only me but my family.

My father married late in life and was in his 50s when I was born so he was the same age as my friends grandfathers.

He was a man of his time and showing emotion wouldn't be the kind of man he was but we had a happy childhood and he worked hard to provide for us which wasn't easy in the 1970s and 80s.

He was secretly battling cancer but didn't let on and kept working until he could do no more, 25 years gone now but I still miss him.

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

He was secretly battling cancer but didn't let on and kept working until he could do no more

I'll do the same, I will not worry the hell out of my kids unless the bus for Vegas is about to take off....respect to him.

A brilliant man - my hero in every way and in how he approaches life. The hardest worker I know.

He has never said he loves me as he's very much a man of his time, but the thing is he doesn't need to.

He overcame a very serious farm accident a decade ago and where a lot of people would have let it get the better of them but he never did. If I turn out half the man he is I'll be very happy.

Not sure if I've posted here before but this thread has got me where it hurts - my Dad is gone 10 years but he was a gentleman all day long.
I arrived late in his life, he was almost 50, I'm a similar age with an 11 Yr old. He was brought up in a very Catholic Ireland - like many, I have a great dislike (to put it mildly) for all that.
He was a loving father & husband, of his time, so no great emotion displayed but later in life, after my mother passed, he came to live with my wife and I before our daughter came along.
During this time we grew closer again, which was lovely in his twilight years.
He would have loved our daughter. (and vice versa) but such is life.
He had a good innings and I'm very grateful for that - many lose their parents way before their time.
To echo others here - my Mother was amazing too (and the boss of the house ðŸ˜)

Sad tread this so many had difficult childhoods. My own father wasn't too bad, small farmer, outside a lot was always in a hurry even having a pint he would only have about an hour in the pub he probably would drink about 6 pints and that would bo only about 2 times a week. No drinking at home back than, no time for football or to watch us play or any other activities, its funny when I started drinking myself that's the way I thought you were supposed to drink I used to be in some heap after a couple of hours , it took me a few years to enjoy a pint at a my own pace and relax a bit, I don't kill myself working anymore there isn't much thanks for it. All in all he was a good family man a good man for his local community and he was loved by his kids and his grandkids and even great grandkids.

This is a tough one, i 'm not sure he knew how to be a father as his dad died young. he was smart and could be nice and good fun.


The problem was my mother was (still is) a horrible narcissist with extreme religious fervour thrown into the mix. And for some unknown reason he was her enforcer and rarely stood up to her.

As a result I had a mostly unhappy and violent home and have little happy memories of growing up.

Drink wasn't an issue , it was control issues and religion from my mother. what is crazy is he never believed her sh1te just went along with it.



They did stuff like education well - but inside the home was horrible.

We rarely had anything nice and my favourite memories of my childhood was getting away to irish college and stuff that didn't involve my parents.


however as an adult now, my dad is fairly sound. my mam and him are still married but seem to live separate lives. There is no enforcing to be done anymore cos we've all grown up so his real personality comes out. he seems to have lost all his anger too. He is very good with the grand kids and they like to visit.


I feel sorry for him, he could have had a better life if he'd married better or stood up for himself and us. Sadly while I enjoy his company now I can't forget what happened and what he allowed to happen.

Hes a legend. A total legend