Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all! We have been experiencing an issue on site where threads have been missing the latest postings. The platform host Vanilla are working on this issue. A workaround that has been used by some is to navigate back from 1 to 10+ pages to re-sync the thread and this will then show the latest posts. Thanks, Mike.
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Strange/eccentric work colleagues

  • 17-09-2020 5:05pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 129 ✭✭


    Have you ever worked with someone who could be considered strange/eccentric? One guy I worked with years ago had all the charm and tact of a prickly cactus. Not that he was aggressive or antagonistic, but he simply had no people skills whatsoever. To say he was blunt would be an understatement. He made Sheldon Cooper look like Mister Conviviality. He also insisted on wearing a glove puppet when working at his computer. But having said all this, he was a genius at his job.

    Have you ever had a work colleague who could be considered strange or eccentric?


«134

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,551 ✭✭✭SeaFields


    I am the strange and eccentric colleague :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 154 ✭✭Nexytus


    Did the glove puppet hamper his typing?

    And did it speak? To him or anyone else.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    We have a guy with some serious mental issues. He's stalked female colleagues and had several aggressive outbursts over the years. But he played golf a few times with his dept manager so whenever he goes off the rails it gets swept under the rug by said manager (who is an oddball himself).


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,485 ✭✭✭KevRossi


    I worked with a guy who used to work with one of the major German car companies. I wouldn't be able to tell you what he had... Asbergers, autism, or whatever, but he was a kind of savant when it came to materials engineering. Seems he develped something to do with differentials on cars that saved a major car manufacturer about €50 million a year over the course of 10 years.

    Had a desk that was covered with miniature models of every Pokemon (150?), came and left as he pleased, but usually did a 6 hour day. Very nice, but incredibly shy lad. I'd go to lunch with him with another colleague, 3 people were fine, once a 4th person joined the table he would clam up. He was on way more than the rest of us, but he could have asked for a lot more. He lived in a one bed apartment that was an annex on his sisters house. She looked after him.

    That was about 12 years ago, he'd be 40 now, I sometimes wonder how he got on in life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,460 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    KevRossi wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who used to work with one of the major German car companies. I wouldn't be able to tell you what he had... Asbergers, autism, or whatever, but he was a kind of savant when it came to materials engineering. Seems he develped something to do with differentials on cars that saved a major car manufacturer about €50 million a year over the course of 10 years.

    Had a desk that was covered with miniature models of every Pokemon (150?), came and left as he pleased, but usually did a 6 hour day. Very nice, but incredibly shy lad. I'd go to lunch with him with another colleague, 3 people were fine, once a 4th person joined the table he would clam up. He was on way more than the rest of us, but he could have asked for a lot more. He lived in a one bed apartment that was an annex on his sisters house. She looked after him.

    That was about 12 years ago, he'd be 40 now, I sometimes wonder how he got on in life.




  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,088 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    A guy in our office is constantly choking on food, because he hasn't worked out how to eat properly. He was medically examined, because he assumed there was something physically wrong with him as it was happening so often. But no, they told him that he was just shoving too much food into his gob at a time, and then trying to breathe through his mouth. He explained this to us in all seriousness one day in the canteen.

    At least once a month, someone has to thump his back to save him. He's actually had to ask his boss and team to look out for him when he's having his lunch, in case he starts silently dying.

    There's another guy I've posted about before. He's not so much eccentric as an utter abomination of a human being.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    Tell him to try the soup next time.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,205 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Tell him to try the soup next time.

    He'd probably start drowning next...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,492 ✭✭✭cml387


    In a long working life I can remember several.

    One guy was a fantasist who at one stage convinced everyone that he was a superb marksman who was going to the Olympics to represent Ireland in the shooting category. So convincing was he that the plant arranged with their US counterparts to look after him when he was over there.

    Sure enough he took two weeks off around the time of the Olympics. His cover was blown when a manger saw him wandering around Douglas shopping centre when he should have been in Atlanta.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,088 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    Tell him to try the soup next time.

    He'd drown in that.

    At the very beginning of lockdown, we had an office video chat, which was obviously the first one he had ever done.

    He was at home. Someone else said hello to him, and he waved. Then he looked at the hand that he waved as if it had done it all by itself and he was shocked that it moved. Then he waved his other hand, as if he was checking if it could do it too. Then he goes "Sorry, I'm not sure if I waved with my right hand or my left hand. It's confusing".


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,345 ✭✭✭TheW1zard


    I had a colleague who we called Jurrasic Park, he kind of looked like the guy with glasses who stole the dna. So did his desk.

    He'd work all hours, one night he shat his pants and used his shirt to wipe it up. Did a good job of cleaning but in the panic left it all on the another chaps desk.
    I came in the next morning, I saw the guys whos desk it was standing over this with a director. He had picked up the rag on his desk not realising what it was and got **** all over himself.
    There was a hilarious investigation carried out by Murray from Flight of the conchords. I was called down as a witness where he had drawn a plan of the office and lots of arrows with times of peoples movements. Obviously no one could prove what actually had happened.
    The ****ty top and paper was fished out of the bin and used as evidence, and someone recognised the top.
    Now we all guessed what had happened and the culprit was off that week (happened on a Saturday). Email went around about the 'investigation'.
    About Tuesday he comes in all flustered to suss the situation out, I asked him what hed been up to and he said he'd been working.

    A few days later there was a bad smell and we found a load of ****ty paper hidden under another desk.

    In the end the poor chap fessed up, he called us into a room describing how he had exploded and projectile ****ted all over the place.
    He was suspended for a week and sent to counselling.

    I left the company a month later.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    He'd drown in that.

    At the very beginning of lockdown, we had an office video chat, which was obviously the first one he had ever done.

    He was at home. Someone else said hello to him, and he waved. Then he looked at the hand that he waved as if it had done it all by itself and he was shocked that it moved. Then he waved his other hand, as if he was checking if it could do it too. Then he goes "Sorry, I'm not sure if I waved with my right hand or my left hand. It's confusing".

    Tell him to look at his screen through a mirror when having video calls.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,402 ✭✭✭McGinniesta


    I worked with a guy that we all suspected was a cross dresser.

    One day we were having a tidy up around the office while he wasn't there.

    He was quite a tall man but we found a pair of high heels there were clearly too big for any average sized girl. I have size 12 feet and they looked even too big for me.

    He was nicknamed Bet Lynch after that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,194 ✭✭✭housetypeb


    Tell him to try the soup next time.

    Be careful of the soup, my great great grand uncle was seen taking the soup down an old boreen by the neighbors,caused quite a scandal and rift between the family and neighbors for some reason.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,901 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    Have you ever worked with someone who could be considered strange/eccentric? One guy I worked with years ago had all the charm and tact of a prickly cactus. Not that he was aggressive or antagonistic, but he simply had no people skills whatsoever. To say he was blunt would be an understatement. He made Sheldon Cooper look like Mister Conviviality. He also insisted on wearing a glove puppet when working at his computer. But having said all this, he was a genius at his job.


    .....so what you mean is, he was more than likely autistic....

    No, I haven’t worked with anyone more weird than myself, I rock!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,901 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    KevRossi wrote:
    I worked with a guy who used to work with one of the major German car companies. I wouldn't be able to tell you what he had... Asbergers, autism, or whatever, but he was a kind of savant when it came to materials engineering. Seems he develped something to do with differentials on cars that saved a major car manufacturer about €50 million a year over the course of 10 years.


    Yup, another aspie, more than likely, but we re considered level 1 autistic nowadays


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    I worked with a guy who modelled himself on Stalin, had a biography of Stalin on his desk and when confronted with any problem people would ask you "what would Stalin do?"

    He also prided himself on having no empathy whatsoever


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,901 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    Stheno wrote:
    He also prided himself on having no empathy whatsoever


    Narcissistic?


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Wanderer78 wrote: »
    Narcissistic?

    No just an absolute asshole


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,901 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    Stheno wrote:
    No just an absolute asshole


    Same thing really, shur trump is one


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,962 ✭✭✭Dr Turk Turkelton


    Stheno wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who modelled himself on Stalin, had a biography of Stalin on his desk and when confronted with any problem people would ask you "what would Stalin do?"

    He also prided himself on having no empathy whatsoever

    Should have answered "killed a few people and threw their families in a gulag?" just to see his reaction!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,239 ✭✭✭Jimbob1977


    Have you ever worked with someone who could be considered strange/eccentric? One guy I worked with years ago had all the charm and tact of a prickly cactus. Not that he was aggressive or antagonistic, but he simply had no people skills whatsoever. To say he was blunt would be an understatement. He made Sheldon Cooper look like Mister Conviviality. He also insisted on wearing a glove puppet when working at his computer. But having said all this, he was a genius at his job.

    Have you ever had a work colleague who could be considered strange or eccentric?

    Like Mr. Hat from South Park?


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Should have answered "killed a few people and threw their families in a gulag?" just to see his reaction!

    Well the two correct answers were 1. Send them to the gulag or 2. Finger across throat signal


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,031 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    I remember one who was seriously in to cars, far more than usual. While I was there, he started off with a TVR, sold it for another TVR, then sold that for a Lotus Esprit. He should have had his own TV show by now.

    Apart from that ... I suspect I might be one myself. There are times when I’m working on something to the exclusion of everyone and everything else. A car could crash in to the building and I’d just grumble a bit and get back to work. My sense of humour and social skills shut down entirely and only reboot once I’m finished what I’m doing.

    Death has this much to be said for it:
    You don’t have to get out of bed for it.
    Wherever you happen to be
    They bring it to you—free.

    — Kingsley Amis



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,901 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    bnt wrote:
    I remember one who was seriously in to cars, far more than usual. While I was there, he started off with a TVR, sold it for another TVR, then sold that for a Lotus Esprit. He should have had his own TV show by now.


    Nothing odd about that, petrol heads be common, and the cars mentioned are bloody nice


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Gruffalux


    TheW1zard wrote: »
    I had a colleague who we called Jurrasic Park, he kind of looked like the guy with glasses who stole the dna. So did his desk.

    He'd work all hours, one night he shat his pants and used his shirt to wipe it up. Did a good job of cleaning but in the panic left it all on the another chaps desk.
    I came in the next morning, I saw the guys whos desk it was standing over this with a director. He had picked up the rag on his desk not realising what it was and got **** all over himself.
    There was a hilarious investigation carried out by Murray from Flight of the conchords. I was called down as a witness where he had drawn a plan of the office and lots of arrows with times of peoples movements. Obviously no one could prove what actually had happened.
    The ****ty top and paper was fished out of the bin and used as evidence, and someone recognised the top.
    Now we all guessed what had happened and the culprit was off that week (happened on a Saturday). Email went around about the 'investigation'.
    About Tuesday he comes in all flustered to suss the situation out, I asked him what hed been up to and he said he'd been working.

    A few days later there was a bad smell and we found a load of ****ty paper hidden under another desk.

    In the end the poor chap fessed up, he called us into a room describing how he had exploded and projectile ****ted all over the place.
    He was suspended for a week and sent to counselling.

    I left the company a month later.

    Ugh no, no one can beat that :(
    Although I did once sit beside a guy who opened a can of some kind of solid meat, wodged in a fork, hauled the whole thing out and starting eating it like it was an icepop.
    Still. Sh1t covered everything is way worse.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    KevRossi wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who used to work with one of the major German car companies. I wouldn't be able to tell you what he had... Asbergers, autism, or whatever, but he was a kind of savant when it came to materials engineering. Seems he develped something to do with differentials on cars that saved a major car manufacturer about €50 million a year over the course of 10 years.

    Had a desk that was covered with miniature models of every Pokemon (150?), came and left as he pleased, but usually did a 6 hour day. Very nice, but incredibly shy lad. I'd go to lunch with him with another colleague, 3 people were fine, once a 4th person joined the table he would clam up. He was on way more than the rest of us, but he could have asked for a lot more. He lived in a one bed apartment that was an annex on his sisters house. She looked after him.

    That was about 12 years ago, he'd be 40 now, I sometimes wonder how he got on in life.

    Takes allsorts. Always amazes me when such people are deemed oddballs by society in general. The reason they are oddballs is that they are not socially intelligent and instead their intelligence is weighted towards another part of their brain.


  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Gruffalox wrote: »
    Ugh no, no one can beat that :(
    Although I did once sit beside a guy who opened a can of some kind of solid meat, wodged in a fork, hauled the whole thing out and starting eating it like it was an icepop.
    Still. Sh1t covered everything is way worse.

    Well I had a female colleague who tended to have problems with sanitary wear being sufficient and left chairs stained with menstrual blood regularly.

    We hot desked, so on the first day of every shift, we would all carefully inspect the chairs at any free desks

    She was also found once underneath her desk in the middle of a call (it was a call centre) trying to change said sanitary wear


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,274 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    If there's no strange work colleagues in your job, then you're the strange work colleague.

    To thine own self be true



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,901 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    If there's no strange work colleagues in your job, then you're the strange work colleague.


    Damn right, I wear my weirdness with pride


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    Stheno wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who modelled himself on Stalin, had a biography of Stalin on his desk and when confronted with any problem people would ask you "what would Stalin do?"

    He also prided himself on having no empathy whatsoever

    So a Marxist-Leninist like Stalin then.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,457 ✭✭✭✭Kylta


    If you haven't got something wrong with you, well you won't get a job were I work, when a homicidal psychopath is the basic, well after that anything kind of goes. I've worked with so many of these people over the years, some are alcoholics, some are coke heads, some have mammy issue's, some i'm sure are incurable. Now I know I can be a bit eccentric at times, but i'm the saneist person in the place. Oh the bosses are worst than the staff.
    I won't say who I work for but if I do
    People will give a quite nod with agreement at the above statement. But I must admit I love the job not for the job itself. I love watching my colleagues personalities at work.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,408 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Kylta wrote: »
    If you haven't got something wrong with you, well you won't get a job were I work, when a homicidal psychopath is the basic, well after that anything kind of goes. I've worked with so many of these people over the years, some are alcoholics, some are coke heads, some have mammy issue's, some i'm sure are incurable. Now I know I can be a bit eccentric at times, but i'm the saneist person in the place. Oh the bosses are worst than the staff.
    I won't say who I work for but if I do
    People will give a quite nod with agreement at the above statement.

    You work from home ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,901 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    Kylta wrote:
    If you haven't got something wrong with you, well you won't get a job were I work, when a homicidal psychopath is the basic, well after that anything kind of goes. I've worked with so many of these people over the years, some are alcoholics, some are coke heads, some have mammy issue's, some i'm sure are incurable. Now I know I can be a bit eccentric at times, but i'm the saneist person in the place. Oh the bosses are worst than the staff. I won't say who I work for but if I do People will give a quite nod with agreement at the above statement. But I must admit I love the job not for the job itself. I love watching my colleagues personalities at work.


    Stress does weird sh1t to people, and complex personality disorders are common, particularly amongst high level employe(r)es


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,457 ✭✭✭✭Kylta


    You work from home ?

    Thanks for the laugh


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,457 ✭✭✭✭Kylta


    Won't go to deep into this for obvious reasons. But one guy chased another guy with a sledge hammer, the guy had to hide in a fast food outlet. Another guy tried to stab his workmates at lunch time, he got arrested. Another guy tried to molest a young woman one day, he got sacked, but should've been arrested. Another guy (who eventually ended up a boss) was stopped by police driving around p!ssed in a company van, should've been sacked instead of promoted. Another guy brought back the wrong packet of crisp and for his reward he got hit with a brick to the back of the head. I can go on and on. But their my fu¢ked up colleagues and I wouldn't change them for the world. Well maybe the guy who does everything by the book, he's the guy that frightens me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Anyone else scanning through the thread to see if there's any mention of them??

    Cos.. .. .. I'm like, so not doing that. At all.

    *whistles innocently


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    Phantom sh1tter.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 548 ✭✭✭JasonStatham


    TheW1zard wrote: »
    I had a colleague who we called Jurrasic Park, he kind of looked like the guy with glasses who stole the dna. So did his desk.

    He'd work all hours, one night he shat his pants and used his shirt to wipe it up. Did a good job of cleaning but in the panic left it all on the another chaps desk.
    I came in the next morning, I saw the guys whos desk it was standing over this with a director. He had picked up the rag on his desk not realising what it was and got **** all over himself.
    There was a hilarious investigation carried out by Murray from Flight of the conchords. I was called down as a witness where he had drawn a plan of the office and lots of arrows with times of peoples movements. Obviously no one could prove what actually had happened.
    The ****ty top and paper was fished out of the bin and used as evidence, and someone recognised the top.
    Now we all guessed what had happened and the culprit was off that week (happened on a Saturday). Email went around about the 'investigation'.
    About Tuesday he comes in all flustered to suss the situation out, I asked him what hed been up to and he said he'd been working.

    A few days later there was a bad smell and we found a load of ****ty paper hidden under another desk.

    In the end the poor chap fessed up, he called us into a room describing how he had exploded and projectile ****ted all over the place.
    He was suspended for a week and sent to counselling.

    I left the company a month later.

    There always seems to be a bloke in IT companies who clogs up the toilets.

    Honestly with all the new fangled spangled workshops like wellness and mindfulness....they should include a session on ..... toilet training haha.


  • Posts: 7,712 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Phantom sh1tter.

    In leixlip?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    When I was doing my PhD in London I shared an office space in the university with this absolute weirdo who was doing postdoctoral research on something related to string theory. He used to clean out his ears with a pencil, examine the wax, then spread the wax on a sheet of paper that he kept in his desk drawer for just this purpose.

    Grim.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dirtyden


    Kylta wrote: »
    Won't go to deep into this for obvious reasons. But one guy chased another guy with a sledge hammer, the guy had to hide in a fast food outlet. Another guy tried to stab his workmates at lunch time, he got arrested. Another guy tried to molest a young woman one day, he got sacked, but should've been arrested. Another guy (who eventually ended up a boss) was stopped by police driving around p!ssed in a company van, should've been sacked instead of promoted. Another guy brought back the wrong packet of crisp and for his reward he got hit with a brick to the back of the head. I can go on and on. But their my fu¢ked up colleagues and I wouldn't change them for the world. Well maybe the guy who does everything by the book, he's the guy that frightens me.

    What film is this?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    In leixlip?

    Cherrywood Business Park.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,306 ✭✭✭bobbyy gee


    i bet the sock puppet did all the work


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,014 ✭✭✭tylercheribini


    TBH I was probably considered odd in my last office job because I dont generally talk for talks sake, its a professional environment,colleagues aint your buddies, do the job you are paid to do and go home, wash/repeat.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,457 ✭✭✭✭Kylta


    dirtyden wrote: »
    What film is this?

    Actually true story this. I used to write short stories and poetry and bits and pieces years ago. Anyway it was suggested that I write a story based on were I worked and a friend said he would script it and see about doing a pilot for TV.(whether it would've made it or not is a different matter). Well didn't some of my colleagues find out some were delighted with the way they were protrayed (I made them sane). But some warned me I'd be sued and sacked if I went ahead, ( they moaned that sh!t was way to close to the bone for some). That's a true story


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,492 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    Worked with a strange lad up to the end of last year.

    But for the work uniform, I wouldn't be surprised if he wore the same clothes in every day, as he never deviated from the one pair of jeans and a particular type of boot that was well-worn- rain, hail or shine. Always wore a baseball cap that has seen better days and seemed to take pride in a pair of sunglasses when the weather was good, the type you pick up for cheap in a pharmacy (he treated them like Ra Bans).

    He had zero social skills. Fr.Stone levels of interaction like. The most important aspect of the job was to give tours to visitors, but in all my time I was rostered in with him, I never seen him do it once. Could barely string a sentence together if asked a basic question over the phone, and often panicked when having to give out change.

    He ate his lunch very loudly as well, and seemed to emphasise each chew. Sometimes I would be getting something near his desk and spot that he would be reading up the wikipedia articles of some sci-fi films and was often quite stalker-ish to women on FB.

    Now he is a nice guy, and really loved working here. Hasn't found a job since, and probably has some form of autism. But he would be completely unemployable in a busier work environment.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Nexytus wrote: »
    Did the glove puppet hamper his typing?

    And did it speak? To him or anyone else.

    I bet he channeled all his anger, rage and frustrations through the puppet.

    I mean, that's ****ing hilarious if true.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,472 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    TheW1zard wrote: »
    I had a colleague who we called Jurrasic Park, he kind of looked like the guy with glasses who stole the dna. So did his desk.

    He'd work all hours, one night he shat his pants and used his shirt to wipe it up. Did a good job of cleaning but in the panic left it all on the another chaps desk.
    I came in the next morning, I saw the guys whos desk it was standing over this with a director. He had picked up the rag on his desk not realising what it was and got **** all over himself.
    There was a hilarious investigation carried out by Murray from Flight of the conchords. I was called down as a witness where he had drawn a plan of the office and lots of arrows with times of peoples movements. Obviously no one could prove what actually had happened.
    The ****ty top and paper was fished out of the bin and used as evidence, and someone recognised the top.
    Now we all guessed what had happened and the culprit was off that week (happened on a Saturday). Email went around about the 'investigation'.
    About Tuesday he comes in all flustered to suss the situation out, I asked him what hed been up to and he said he'd been working.

    A few days later there was a bad smell and we found a load of ****ty paper hidden under another desk.

    In the end the poor chap fessed up, he called us into a room describing how he had exploded and projectile ****ted all over the place.
    He was suspended for a week and sent to counselling.

    I left the company a month later.

    Jesus Christ I pissed meself reading this story...holy fcuk. Not sure who’s actually the bigger nutcases here- yer man that shat himself or the loons “investigating” it?!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,472 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    Stheno wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who modelled himself on Stalin, had a biography of Stalin on his desk and when confronted with any problem people would ask you "what would Stalin do?"

    He also prided himself on having no empathy whatsoever

    What the fcuk? Stalin, lol


  • Advertisement
Advertisement