Do you still have the same friends from childhood now?

Wanderer2010 · 14-07-2019 4:48pm #1

I bumped into an old mate from primary school last week and we kind of caught up for a few minutes and its mad how different our lives are now. which got me thinking: I don't have any friends nowadays (Im in my 30s) that stem from childhood. Most of the people I call friends are from college or extended family. Do you still know childhood friends and have stayed close to them/drink with them even as you enter 20s 30s and beyond? Do you still have things in common?

RMAOK · 14-07-2019 4:50pm

Fück no - have nothing to do with any of them.

Stop moaning ffs · 14-07-2019 4:52pm

There’s one I often wonder about. How he’s doin. I’d love to go up to where I used to live and knock on the door n see him.

How Soon Is Now · 14-07-2019 4:52pm

My best friends are same ones I've had since 1st year.

Time has flew by in fairness!

Thelonious Monk · 14-07-2019 4:53pm

I still have a few that I would have met in my early teens and we still do stuff together from time to time 25 years later. Also have couple from school and college and people I've met through work. I've a couple of good friends now that I met only in the past few years, so you're never too old to meet new people.

Thelonious Monk · 14-07-2019 4:53pm

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

My best friends are same ones I've had since 1st year.

Time has flew by in fairness!

Spoken like a true 2nd year

Timberrrrrrrr · 14-07-2019 4:54pm

Guy i sat next to in school from the age of 14, worked in bars clubs together for years and still talk every few days and always meet for a beer when am in Dublin.

How Soon Is Now · 14-07-2019 4:55pm

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Spoken like a true 2nd year

Haha about twenty years ago!

AlphabetCards · 14-07-2019 4:57pm

Secondary school lads, yeah they are my friends for life. Even now that we are all over the globe and most of them are fathers.

riffmongous · 14-07-2019 5:03pm

Yep still have my oldest and best 2 friends. But I have no contact to anyone else from primary or secondary

stargazer 68 · 14-07-2019 5:05pm

Just talking about this the other night. Myself and my 2 friends have been friends 35 years!! Go out regularly just the 3 of us and also with the 3 hubbies

wakka12 · 14-07-2019 5:11pm

Im in my 6th year of college,dont speak to anybody from primary school anymore. Still try to keep in touch with a few others from secondary school. Emphasis on 'try' though, its always such an effort, and I dont know how long a friendship can sustain if every time you meet is a concerted effort

14-07-2019 5:13pm

There's a whatsapp group of us from secondary school, in truth on its last legs. Some people evolve, others don't. Differences can become magnified. The course of life. Those I've befriended since my late twenties are the main constants.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 14-07-2019 5:15pm

Yes, I still meet up about once a month, or so, with two friends that I have known for 70years and 63years.

branie2 · 14-07-2019 5:23pm

Yes I do

ToddyDoody · 14-07-2019 5:25pm

I have one imaginary one that I'm still in regular contact with.

Butterface · 14-07-2019 5:30pm

Still have 3 friends from primary school, friends since we were 5 years old. Went to different secondary schools and colleges, and never lived in the same town again, but we meet up now at least once or twice a year, usually at Christmas.

Have a few from secondary school, but again it's mostly staying in contact on social media and then seeing them at home at Christmas.

Stop moaning ffs · 14-07-2019 5:33pm

Who’s your oldest friend age wise?
Mine is 75 and an expert on Bob Dylan and all things music.

Lackadaisical · 14-07-2019 5:35pm

Nope! Definitely not.

I had one guy contact me out of the blue after decades and, to be quite honest, it was a bit odd. It took me ages to remember who he was. I had moved away from where he lived when I was 10 or so. None of the people he was mentioning rang any bells with me. The context was gone. I just had vague memories of playing football on the street with them and didn't even remember names or anything.

Met up for a pint and basically he reminisced about people I have very little memory of and we never met up again.

Facebook has a lot go answer for!

It's strange in some ways I've people I was vaguely friends with in the early 2000s who are still on my Facebook and really it's very unlikely I'll ever meet up again but at the same time we still do the odd like on line.

In the old days those people would likely have just disconnected and been vague memories. Now they're always there. It's not necessarily a bad thing but just odd in terms never forgetting anyone. It's like the natural ability to move on is gone.

I mean I have exs and people I had one night stands with in college on my Facebook and sure we're all still liking eachother's pet photos and other very mundane stuff. It's all very civilised and it would be rude to delete then. They're probably lovely - it's just very unlikely I'll ever reconnect.

It's an odd world where privacy is fading fast and nothing's ever forgotten.

voldejoie · 14-07-2019 5:50pm

Yes and no.

I'm still in touch with my two best friends from primary school but we hardly ever see each other and have very little in common. They both have kids and totally different lives and priorities to me. We meet up around Christmas each year but that's about it really.

I care for them both a lot but it's just interesting that if we met now instead of as those scared 4 year olds on our first days of school, we likely wouldn't have anything to do with each other!

andekwarhola · 14-07-2019 5:59pm

Yeah, three of my closest friends now, I met in school. One in primary, two in secondary. Also another close friend is a cousin I've known since birth.

Plus, I'd still know a few other secondary school mates and am in touch through social media and meet for pints maybe once a, year or so.

Wibbs · 14-07-2019 6:10pm

Yep. Most of my friends I've known since school. Talk or meet up with at least one a week. Two live overseas and we talk on the phone/email at least once a month.

Lackadaisical · 14-07-2019 6:23pm

I'd say though it boils down to how you were brought up. We moved city to city several times when I was in primary school and again in secondary school.

I went to 5 primary schools and 3 secondary schools. So most of my long term friends were made in my college days with one or two in my teens. The primary school days are a complete blur to me.

I sort of never really considered myself to be "from" anywhere in particular but I would be very strongly attached to my university days and that era.

14-07-2019 6:37pm

Yeah my main group of friends are all people I know since end of primary, 1st year in secondary (all early/mid 30’s now). Still all contact daily in WhatsApp groups and meet up regularly for pints etc. We never really made “college friends” as most of us went to the university or IT close by and some of us even did the same course so we all hung out with each other during college too so never really got close with other people. We are mostly all still living around or close to the home area now (some having moved away and come back others never moved away) so we are all still the main group of friends.

We all would have made friends through work etc who came and went but nothing as close as we are with the original group of friends still.

suicide_circus · 14-07-2019 6:40pm

yep all but one or two friends i've known for 20 years plus

retro:electro · 14-07-2019 6:42pm

My best friend I met on my first day of playschool, she sat down beside me and we had our picture taken for the local paper and have been best friends ever since. My core friendship group are all girls I met in primary and secondary. I’d be close to a few still from college/work but my bestest best friendships are all 20+ years old.

Stop moaning ffs · 14-07-2019 6:47pm

Would love to know where my teachers in primary are now and what they’re doing

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo · 14-07-2019 6:58pm

Yep. A few from primary and secondary school, and a few from around where I lived. With Facebook it's very easy to stay in contact with people who would be more 'distant' friends as well. I'm not even the most outgoing of people, it's just nice to stay connected with friends you get along with. WhatsApp helps a lot I find.

14-07-2019 7:08pm

Stop moaning ffs wrote: »

Would love to know where my teachers in primary are now and what they’re doing

Two of my primary school teachers are neighbors and family friends, retired now of course.

DoozerT6 · 14-07-2019 7:10pm

I'm only in touch with one friend from school (secondary). Nobody from primary school, in fact there are girls I went to primary school with for 8 years that I literally never laid eyes on again after we all said goodbye on our last day there, even though we were all from a fairly small town and its hinterlands. (We would have all gone to a few different secondaries in bigger towns nearby).

Lackadaisical · 14-07-2019 7:18pm

On a related point, does anyone else find that the fact that a lot of Irish people who stay in Ireland don't really seem to move much beyond their home turf that it makes it very hard to blend in?

I have always found that I feel more at home in big international cities than I have here. There's just always this sense of being a 'blow in' that I get from not having entirely grown up here and having moved around a lot. Whereas when I lived in the US and in London I never felt that.

I just find you go to a pub with a group of people and that's as far as it goes. Beyond that a lot of them tend to just not want to make the effort and I have found as a result most of my friend in Ireland aren't Irish or, if they are that they've moved around a lot too.

Just on a lot of occasions in Cork I've had my accent brought up by random people where it just makes you feel like OMG I've lived here for almost a decade and I'm STILL not considered to belong. Same has happened in Dublin albeit a bit less so.

Just little things like I was in a cafe in the city centre and for "ah sure you're from the states or Sweden or something"

"Sure what would you know: you're not even from Cork FFS!"

"What does it matter to you?! You're not even from here!"

That kind of subtle thing...

Stop moaning ffs · 14-07-2019 7:21pm

Lackadaisical wrote: »

On a related point, does anyone else find that the fact that a lot of Irish people who stay in Ireland don't really seem to move much beyond their home turf that it makes it very hard to blend in?

I have always found that I feel more at home in big international cities than I have here. There's just always this sense of being a 'blow in' that I get from not having entirely grown up here and having moved around a lot. Whereas when I lived in the US and in London I never felt that.

I just find you go to a pub with a group of people and that's as far as it goes. Beyond that a lot of them tend to just not want to make the effort and I have found as a result most of my friend in Ireland aren't Irish or, if they are that they've moved around a lot too.

Just on a lot of occasions in Cork I've had my accent brought up by random people where it just makes you feel like OMG I've lived here for almost a decade and I'm STILL not considered to belong. Same has happened in Dublin albeit a bit less so.

Can’t agree with that.
I’ve been in pubss and randomly met people and gone back to a party and I’m still friends with them.
This in Dublin though. I can’t speak to the smaller town experience

Lackadaisical · 14-07-2019 7:25pm

Stop moaning ffs wrote: »

Can’t agree with that.
I’ve beej on pins and randomly met people and gone back to a party and I’m still friends with them.
This in Dublin though. I can’t sleak to the smaller town experience

Yeah I've done plenty of that too. It's just that I have had really horrible experiences of being told where my localness ends. I had it in Dublin a few times too.

It just gives me the sense that everyone's superficial and it's teeth out friendliness in the pub but beyond that they don't want to know you.

My accent is fairly mid Atlantic neutral and it's just a regular thing I'll be told off for having an opinion on something Irish, despite being Irish.

TheValeyard · 14-07-2019 7:25pm

Yes, still mates with a dozen of them from Primary school, we've all been at each others weddings and everything.

FutureGuy · 14-07-2019 7:28pm

Nope.

EmmetSpiceland · 14-07-2019 7:29pm

I’d only see the guys I “grew up” with, maybe, once a year. We drifted apart in our mid teens, they started to hang around with a crowd I didn’t like and were engaging in smoking “weed” and the like.

I guess it was down to the fact that I went to a “rugby” school and started to hang out with guys from my form and others who played rugby. The guys from my “road” went to the local “public” school, some left after the junior cert.

When we meet up now we usually just talk about the “old days” as we have very little in common. They tend to have heavy “lidded”, red, eyes and take a long time to get to their points. Basically, walking advertisements of why “hash” should never be legalised, except for “medicinal” use, obviously.

I’m not sure why I still go back for the but I guess “reliving” some of those moments from our “formative” years must be worth it.

Greyfox · 14-07-2019 7:29pm

Yep. My ma and my best mates ma where friends in a prayer group, we met:o aged 6 and 32 years later were still best friends. Have another 2 friends from when I was 7

DeiseNew · 14-07-2019 7:29pm

Lackadaisical wrote: »

On a related point, does anyone else find that the fact that a lot of Irish people who stay in Ireland don't really seem to move much beyond their home turf that it makes it very hard to blend in?

I have always found that I feel more at home in big international cities than I have here. There's just always this sense of being a 'blow in' that I get from not having entirely grown up here and having moved around a lot. Whereas when I lived in the US and in London I never felt that.

I just find you go to a pub with a group of people and that's as far as it goes. Beyond that a lot of them tend to just not want to make the effort and I have found as a result most of my friend in Ireland aren't Irish or, if they are that they've moved around a lot too.

Just on a lot of occasions in Cork I've had my accent brought up by random people where it just makes you feel like OMG I've lived here for almost a decade and I'm STILL not considered to belong. Same has happened in Dublin albeit a bit less so.

Just little things like I was in a cafe in the city centre and for "ah sure you're from the states or Sweden or something"

"Sure what would you know: you're not even from Cork FFS!"

"What does it matter to you?! You're not even from here!"

That kind of subtle thing...

There is definitely a group of people in their 30s and 40s who all went to school together and ended up in the same jobs, never moved out of home or out of their hometown and their weekends consist of drinking all day in the pub or betting nearby. Each to their own and they arent hurting anyone but its definitely a closed shop. Ive always found with such groups that they arent interested in meeting or getting to know new people.

14-07-2019 7:33pm

Not primary school, no. There are a few lads I'd still see in the pub on weekend nights but don't have a lot to talk about with them.

My best friends from that age are my brothers. Someone once told us "isn't it great you all get along so well, you're never seen without each other"

It's not that at all, though. We hang out together to make sure nobody's having too much fun, or developing any of that toxic 'self-confidence'.

HalloweenJack · 14-07-2019 7:47pm

I've known my best friend since I was five and still keep in touch, though our lives have taken vastly different paths.

I went to secondary with a lot of people from my primary so kept in touch with them a lot longer. I left Ireland after college and have been back back about once a year. Between seeing family and other friends, I don't always see a lot of them and I'm someone who prefers face-to-face conversations. We're in our early thirties now so our lives are all moving at different paces. I did have a good laugh the last time I was out with them.

Most of my closest friends now are ones that I've made since I've been moving about and grown more into the person I am now.

Ally Dick · 14-07-2019 7:55pm

I bear no ill will towards anyone I grew up with, but you lose touch with people. I left home at 17, so I made new friends after that. I would certainly enjoy catching up with childhood friends, should the opportunity arise

I see sheep · 14-07-2019 8:01pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’d only see the guys I “grew up” with, maybe, once a year. We drifted apart in our mid teens, they started to hang around with a crowd I didn’t like and were engaging in smoking “weed” and the like.

I guess it was down to the fact that I went to a “rugby” school and started to hang out with guys from my form and others who played rugby. The guys from my “road” went to the local “public” school, some left after the junior cert.

When we meet up now we usually just talk about the “old days” as we have very little in common. They tend to have heavy “lidded”, red, eyes and take a long time to get to their points. Basically, walking advertisements of why “hash” should never be legalised, except for “medicinal” use, obviously.

I’m not sure why I still go back for the but I guess “reliving” some of those moments from our “formative” years must be worth it.

You misuse double apostrophes

Poochie05 · 14-07-2019 8:24pm

My best friend and I have been friends since we were 3. We moved apart in our teenage years but stayed in touch and see each other regularly now.
I’ve no friends from primary or secondary school but still hang out and travel with friends from college. Have a few friends I made in recent years.

ChikiChiki · 14-07-2019 8:43pm

Yes all went to school together, hung around together in the evenings and summers. Played footie together and see each other on the weekends. All buying houses in the same area now.

I gather that's unique but I think we are really lucky that it was a great place to grow up with a vibrant community spirit and plenty of job opportunities. We have all done our share of travelling separately which gave perspective on how good the area actually is.

Church on Tuesday · 14-07-2019 8:44pm

Lackadaisical wrote: »

On a related point, does anyone else find that the fact that a lot of Irish people who stay in Ireland don't really seem to move much beyond their home turf that it makes it very hard to blend in?

I have always found that I feel more at home in big international cities than I have here. There's just always this sense of being a 'blow in' that I get from not having entirely grown up here and having moved around a lot. Whereas when I lived in the US and in London I never felt that.

I just find you go to a pub with a group of people and that's as far as it goes. Beyond that a lot of them tend to just not want to make the effort and I have found as a result most of my friend in Ireland aren't Irish or, if they are that they've moved around a lot too.

Just on a lot of occasions in Cork I've had my accent brought up by random people where it just makes you feel like OMG I've lived here for almost a decade and I'm STILL not considered to belong. Same has happened in Dublin albeit a bit less so.

Just little things like I was in a cafe in the city centre and for "ah sure you're from the states or Sweden or something"

"Sure what would you know: you're not even from Cork FFS!"

"What does it matter to you?! You're not even from here!"

That kind of subtle thing...

That's just Cork people for you in general, ditto Kerry.

DeiseNew · 14-07-2019 8:58pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

That's just Cork people for you in general, ditto Kerry.

Not all Cork people, pal. Im from Cork and im far from being insular. In fact, I have settled into living and working in Waterford for almost 2 years now and I managed to pick up a few pals and have met some lovely people and not so lovely people down here too so its nothing to do with any county.

LimeFruitGum · 14-07-2019 9:01pm

Definitely not. Had no interest in keeping in touch with anyone from my primary, apart from 1 girl (like me, she left as soon as she got her CAO results).
I was the only one in my year at secondary school to get a college place in Dublin, but there wasn’t really anyone I wanted to keep in touch with. I had a little group that I sat with for classes & lunch and we all got on grand, but I didn’t give them a second thought after the Leaving, tbh. I was always pretty open about wanting to go to college in Dublin, and not stay local. Mind you, this was in the mid-90s, so no internet, mobiles etc, it was very easy to make a clean break.

I did meet up with a few of them in the first college summer holidays, but a couple of them were soooo catty and making snide remarks about “well, bet you think you’re so great after a year in Dublin”.
“Sure I do, I love it there, I’m so happy I got it. I’m getting on great and really, there’s so much more to life than this place. Jeez, you might as well still be school, we have been coming in here since 5th year!”, and I laughed hard so to wind her up cos I’m a passive-aggressive cow like that.
I couldn’t be arsed with her sniping ****e, and there’s only so much college talk you can listen to when you don’t go to the same one. We never bothered with each other again. Similar to other posters’ experience, it was really cliquey. Even if I stayed local, I would not have hung out with them exclusively on campus or in town anyway.

My undergrad mates would be my main group, plus a few from past jobs.

JupiterKid · 14-07-2019 9:03pm

Yep...my best mate I have known since 1985 - that’s 34 years ago now, when we were both 10 years of age. Three other very good mates I’ve been friends since early childhood.

Have a few good friends from my college days (1990s) but only one from my secondary school days.

Strumms · 14-07-2019 9:08pm

Nope... I bump into one in the pub occasionally, he goes in on his own for a pint and a read of the paper, he’s a quiet fella so any pleasantries are just that, quick and pleasant.

I used to feel a bit sorry for him sitting there on his own but I remember messaging him on FB about tickets for a match he had posted he was after tickets for and he never bothered his hole replying so forget it...

I am friends with a couple of others on FB but apart from the odd ‘like’ or happy birthday it’s suitably distant.

Foweva Awone · 14-07-2019 9:09pm

I'm not really in touch with any of my primary school or secondary school friends, but am still close to two girls from the estate we grew up on. I'm still in touch with the crowd of girls I was in college with 10 years ago. However I'd say my current circle of close friends are mostly people I've met over the last five years.

ILoveYourVibes · 14-07-2019 9:11pm

No. But then i had very few friends growing up.

Do you still have the same friends from childhood now?

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