Do you still have the same friends from childhood now?

Stop moaning ffs · 14-07-2019 07:21PM

Lackadaisical wrote: »

On a related point, does anyone else find that the fact that a lot of Irish people who stay in Ireland don't really seem to move much beyond their home turf that it makes it very hard to blend in?

I have always found that I feel more at home in big international cities than I have here. There's just always this sense of being a 'blow in' that I get from not having entirely grown up here and having moved around a lot. Whereas when I lived in the US and in London I never felt that.

I just find you go to a pub with a group of people and that's as far as it goes. Beyond that a lot of them tend to just not want to make the effort and I have found as a result most of my friend in Ireland aren't Irish or, if they are that they've moved around a lot too.

Just on a lot of occasions in Cork I've had my accent brought up by random people where it just makes you feel like OMG I've lived here for almost a decade and I'm STILL not considered to belong. Same has happened in Dublin albeit a bit less so.

Can’t agree with that.
I’ve been in pubss and randomly met people and gone back to a party and I’m still friends with them.
This in Dublin though. I can’t speak to the smaller town experience

Lackadaisical · 14-07-2019 07:25PM

Stop moaning ffs wrote: »

Can’t agree with that.
I’ve beej on pins and randomly met people and gone back to a party and I’m still friends with them.
This in Dublin though. I can’t sleak to the smaller town experience

Yeah I've done plenty of that too. It's just that I have had really horrible experiences of being told where my localness ends. I had it in Dublin a few times too.

It just gives me the sense that everyone's superficial and it's teeth out friendliness in the pub but beyond that they don't want to know you.

My accent is fairly mid Atlantic neutral and it's just a regular thing I'll be told off for having an opinion on something Irish, despite being Irish.

TheValeyard · 14-07-2019 07:25PM

Yes, still mates with a dozen of them from Primary school, we've all been at each others weddings and everything.

FutureGuy · 14-07-2019 07:28PM

Nope.

EmmetSpiceland · 14-07-2019 07:29PM

I’d only see the guys I “grew up” with, maybe, once a year. We drifted apart in our mid teens, they started to hang around with a crowd I didn’t like and were engaging in smoking “weed” and the like.

I guess it was down to the fact that I went to a “rugby” school and started to hang out with guys from my form and others who played rugby. The guys from my “road” went to the local “public” school, some left after the junior cert.

When we meet up now we usually just talk about the “old days” as we have very little in common. They tend to have heavy “lidded”, red, eyes and take a long time to get to their points. Basically, walking advertisements of why “hash” should never be legalised, except for “medicinal” use, obviously.

I’m not sure why I still go back for the but I guess “reliving” some of those moments from our “formative” years must be worth it.

DeiseNew · 14-07-2019 07:29PM

Lackadaisical wrote: »

On a related point, does anyone else find that the fact that a lot of Irish people who stay in Ireland don't really seem to move much beyond their home turf that it makes it very hard to blend in?

I have always found that I feel more at home in big international cities than I have here. There's just always this sense of being a 'blow in' that I get from not having entirely grown up here and having moved around a lot. Whereas when I lived in the US and in London I never felt that.

I just find you go to a pub with a group of people and that's as far as it goes. Beyond that a lot of them tend to just not want to make the effort and I have found as a result most of my friend in Ireland aren't Irish or, if they are that they've moved around a lot too.

Just on a lot of occasions in Cork I've had my accent brought up by random people where it just makes you feel like OMG I've lived here for almost a decade and I'm STILL not considered to belong. Same has happened in Dublin albeit a bit less so.

Just little things like I was in a cafe in the city centre and for "ah sure you're from the states or Sweden or something"

"Sure what would you know: you're not even from Cork FFS!"

"What does it matter to you?! You're not even from here!"

That kind of subtle thing...

There is definitely a group of people in their 30s and 40s who all went to school together and ended up in the same jobs, never moved out of home or out of their hometown and their weekends consist of drinking all day in the pub or betting nearby. Each to their own and they arent hurting anyone but its definitely a closed shop. Ive always found with such groups that they arent interested in meeting or getting to know new people.

Greyfox · 14-07-2019 07:29PM

Yep. My ma and my best mates ma where friends in a prayer group, we met:o aged 6 and 32 years later were still best friends. Have another 2 friends from when I was 7

14-07-2019 07:33PM

Not primary school, no. There are a few lads I'd still see in the pub on weekend nights but don't have a lot to talk about with them.

My best friends from that age are my brothers. Someone once told us "isn't it great you all get along so well, you're never seen without each other"

It's not that at all, though. We hang out together to make sure nobody's having too much fun, or developing any of that toxic 'self-confidence'.

HalloweenJack · 14-07-2019 07:47PM

I've known my best friend since I was five and still keep in touch, though our lives have taken vastly different paths.

I went to secondary with a lot of people from my primary so kept in touch with them a lot longer. I left Ireland after college and have been back back about once a year. Between seeing family and other friends, I don't always see a lot of them and I'm someone who prefers face-to-face conversations. We're in our early thirties now so our lives are all moving at different paces. I did have a good laugh the last time I was out with them.

Most of my closest friends now are ones that I've made since I've been moving about and grown more into the person I am now.

Ally Dick · 14-07-2019 07:55PM

I bear no ill will towards anyone I grew up with, but you lose touch with people. I left home at 17, so I made new friends after that. I would certainly enjoy catching up with childhood friends, should the opportunity arise

I see sheep · 14-07-2019 08:01PM

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’d only see the guys I “grew up” with, maybe, once a year. We drifted apart in our mid teens, they started to hang around with a crowd I didn’t like and were engaging in smoking “weed” and the like.

I guess it was down to the fact that I went to a “rugby” school and started to hang out with guys from my form and others who played rugby. The guys from my “road” went to the local “public” school, some left after the junior cert.

When we meet up now we usually just talk about the “old days” as we have very little in common. They tend to have heavy “lidded”, red, eyes and take a long time to get to their points. Basically, walking advertisements of why “hash” should never be legalised, except for “medicinal” use, obviously.

I’m not sure why I still go back for the but I guess “reliving” some of those moments from our “formative” years must be worth it.

You misuse double apostrophes

Poochie05 · 14-07-2019 08:24PM

My best friend and I have been friends since we were 3. We moved apart in our teenage years but stayed in touch and see each other regularly now.
I’ve no friends from primary or secondary school but still hang out and travel with friends from college. Have a few friends I made in recent years.

ChikiChiki · 14-07-2019 08:43PM

Yes all went to school together, hung around together in the evenings and summers. Played footie together and see each other on the weekends. All buying houses in the same area now.

I gather that's unique but I think we are really lucky that it was a great place to grow up with a vibrant community spirit and plenty of job opportunities. We have all done our share of travelling separately which gave perspective on how good the area actually is.

Church on Tuesday · 14-07-2019 08:44PM

Lackadaisical wrote: »

On a related point, does anyone else find that the fact that a lot of Irish people who stay in Ireland don't really seem to move much beyond their home turf that it makes it very hard to blend in?

I have always found that I feel more at home in big international cities than I have here. There's just always this sense of being a 'blow in' that I get from not having entirely grown up here and having moved around a lot. Whereas when I lived in the US and in London I never felt that.

I just find you go to a pub with a group of people and that's as far as it goes. Beyond that a lot of them tend to just not want to make the effort and I have found as a result most of my friend in Ireland aren't Irish or, if they are that they've moved around a lot too.

Just on a lot of occasions in Cork I've had my accent brought up by random people where it just makes you feel like OMG I've lived here for almost a decade and I'm STILL not considered to belong. Same has happened in Dublin albeit a bit less so.

Just little things like I was in a cafe in the city centre and for "ah sure you're from the states or Sweden or something"

"Sure what would you know: you're not even from Cork FFS!"

"What does it matter to you?! You're not even from here!"

That kind of subtle thing...

That's just Cork people for you in general, ditto Kerry.

DeiseNew · 14-07-2019 08:58PM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

That's just Cork people for you in general, ditto Kerry.

Not all Cork people, pal. Im from Cork and im far from being insular. In fact, I have settled into living and working in Waterford for almost 2 years now and I managed to pick up a few pals and have met some lovely people and not so lovely people down here too so its nothing to do with any county.

LimeFruitGum · 14-07-2019 09:01PM

Definitely not. Had no interest in keeping in touch with anyone from my primary, apart from 1 girl (like me, she left as soon as she got her CAO results).
I was the only one in my year at secondary school to get a college place in Dublin, but there wasn’t really anyone I wanted to keep in touch with. I had a little group that I sat with for classes & lunch and we all got on grand, but I didn’t give them a second thought after the Leaving, tbh. I was always pretty open about wanting to go to college in Dublin, and not stay local. Mind you, this was in the mid-90s, so no internet, mobiles etc, it was very easy to make a clean break.

I did meet up with a few of them in the first college summer holidays, but a couple of them were soooo catty and making snide remarks about “well, bet you think you’re so great after a year in Dublin”.
“Sure I do, I love it there, I’m so happy I got it. I’m getting on great and really, there’s so much more to life than this place. Jeez, you might as well still be school, we have been coming in here since 5th year!”, and I laughed hard so to wind her up cos I’m a passive-aggressive cow like that.
I couldn’t be arsed with her sniping ****e, and there’s only so much college talk you can listen to when you don’t go to the same one. We never bothered with each other again. Similar to other posters’ experience, it was really cliquey. Even if I stayed local, I would not have hung out with them exclusively on campus or in town anyway.

My undergrad mates would be my main group, plus a few from past jobs.

JupiterKid · 14-07-2019 09:03PM

Yep...my best mate I have known since 1985 - that’s 34 years ago now, when we were both 10 years of age. Three other very good mates I’ve been friends since early childhood.

Have a few good friends from my college days (1990s) but only one from my secondary school days.

Strumms · 14-07-2019 09:08PM

Nope... I bump into one in the pub occasionally, he goes in on his own for a pint and a read of the paper, he’s a quiet fella so any pleasantries are just that, quick and pleasant.

I used to feel a bit sorry for him sitting there on his own but I remember messaging him on FB about tickets for a match he had posted he was after tickets for and he never bothered his hole replying so forget it...

I am friends with a couple of others on FB but apart from the odd ‘like’ or happy birthday it’s suitably distant.

Foweva Awone · 14-07-2019 09:09PM

I'm not really in touch with any of my primary school or secondary school friends, but am still close to two girls from the estate we grew up on. I'm still in touch with the crowd of girls I was in college with 10 years ago. However I'd say my current circle of close friends are mostly people I've met over the last five years.

ILoveYourVibes · 14-07-2019 09:11PM

No. But then i had very few friends growing up.

MsQuinn · 14-07-2019 09:34PM

Started school at 4 years old in 1976 and still hang around with 7 of those who also started the same day - knew 2 of them from the estate we lived in anyway. Picked up more along the way.

Started secondary school in 1984 and the gang from 1st year are still my best friends. There's about 10 of us still really close even if we don't see each other due to being scattered between Ireland and Britain.

The meet ups are mental :-)

ILoveYourVibes · 14-07-2019 09:58PM

My father knows no one from his childhood at all bar his sister.

And only one person from his 20s a workmate.

But his life changed a lot.

My mother however has many school friends. They still have a lot in common whereas my father would have very little in common with his childhood friends now. That happens sometimes.

People change neighborhoods etc.

14-07-2019 10:03PM

primary....I usually meet a few when im out on the town in the club/pub and do a few beers over chats
Secondary....same as above, but I see ones I hang around with, once a month for a catch up
College - 2 lads I was mates I made with from the first week are still my regular drinking buddies now and we go out at least once a week

Im 32

14-07-2019 10:10PM

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

No. But then i had very few friends growing up.

Aww. I wish you'd been in my school. I'd have tried to be your friend, but some people didn't want to be friends.

If it's any consolation, the people in my old school who had no friends all went on to have the most interesting lives. One girl works on the Irish delegation to the UN in New York, and a 'loner' a couple of years ahead of me is a journalist for a national broadsheet.

I mean, there's also some guy who posts pictures of himself in S&M gear on Facebook but okay, we'll gloss over that.

lbc2019 · 14-07-2019 10:12PM

No.

Primary School Friend!

lbc2019 · 14-07-2019 10:14PM

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

No. But then i had very few friends growing up.

me too. Then as an adult I discovered I was on the autism spectrum so socially awkwardl.

My friends are the ones I made in college. Still meet them from time to time.

Your Face · 14-07-2019 10:36PM

No, I was still friends with a few until about a few years ago. You move on.

harr · 14-07-2019 10:46PM

Yeah and no , was part of a group of friends from mid primary school years. A small group of us remained friends all during secondary school.
One member of the group cut all contact when he left school and no one knew why and still don’t one member of the group became a very heavy drinker and started drugs in his late 20,s and was handful when ever we would go out ...he stole from a few of us and wasn’t very nice around woman and people in general.
We attempted to get him help and it was always rejected he currently lives in a run down bedsit and is single.
I remain good friends with two of the group and would go for drinks once a month.
Friends now nearly 40 years...

Pinch Flat · 14-07-2019 10:51PM

I have a few guys I’d know from primary school. We don’t really keep in tough, except maybe meeting for a pint at Christmas. Even that’s dwindled over the years as we’ve all got married, moved away, had kids etc. we meet more often now as funerals as parents, uncles, aunts etc die.

IAMAMORON · 14-07-2019 11:04PM

Yes and no.

Some die, some drift apart, move country, have different lives etc.

But I am still their friend for life and I would do whatever I could for them. You simply cannot keep in touch with everyone. Modern phones and computers do make it easier to keep in touch, which is nice.

I love automatically congratulating all my 459 friends on Facebook when it is their birthday. How cool am I?

Life moves on, babies, wives, families etc all take precedent over who you shared your toys with in fairness.

I would say it is rare if people can genuinely keep bonds from childhood, through adolescence, into adulthood and then middle and old age... all the world is a stage etc etc.

I do still have contact with two friends who I have known all my life, however I cannot genuinely say I have been close with them all my life. I could go for a scoops with them tomorrow, but I think our friendship is different now. Life moves on.

Do you still have the same friends from childhood now?

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