Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1

ginandtonicsky · 24-07-2019 10:58am

I was looking forward to Paris more than you will ever know. This is so disappointing and I don't know what to believe, if I'm being honest. My spidey senses have been sort of tingling these past few days.

I'm a big girl and I know my value. It's good that this is the underlying feeling I have right now. Kindness, honesty and integrity are what I deserve and I'm so glad I finally know how to give those things to myself. I'm so grateful for that.

I got promoted this week. I signed the contract today. I've been working my ass off for this for four years. It feels great to feel so valued in my professional life. I know I'll figure the personal stuff out too. Eventually.

stop animal cruelty · 25-07-2019 10:33pm

Im so tempted to text u, ugh I just want u out of my head.

I miss u. I miss not having u sitting here next to me. I miss your hands and eyes.

Kitty6277 · 31-07-2019 8:52pm

I know you’re trying to make up for hurting me and I appreciate you being so sweet and all, but to be quiet honest, you’re being a bit overbearing

waxmelts2000 · 01-08-2019 3:06pm

Why did you message me now, it's been nearly 4 months since you broke up with me ? Online dating not working out for you ? Val

Kitty6277 · 05-08-2019 10:37am

Just FYI babe, it doesn’t count as “being better” if you’re nice to my face but still doing the same thing behind my back :rolleyes:

Aceso · 05-08-2019 10:54am

You're a narcissist and it's terrifying. I don't know what you might do next and it's terrifying. You metaphorically hold me with one hand and hit me with the other and it's terrifying. I don't understand what I did to deserve the way you're treating me.

Tamara tamara · 05-08-2019 11:21pm

I need to concentrate on me now. You taught me that so thanks I guess?

Airyfairy12 · 06-08-2019 12:18am

Being with you was the best thing that ever happened to me, I didnt realise it at the time but you truly were a blessing in disguise. Before you I allowed everyone to walk on me and put me down, I didnt know how to stand up for myself and I had no self esteem. You were my lowest point, you treated me so terribly that when I finally built up the courage to leave you I started to take a look at myself, I started putting myself first and built my self up so much that I will never let anyone treat me that way again.
I dont hate you, I genuinely wish you well. You gave me the best lesson I ever could have asked for and it changed my life.
You taught me the importance of self love and showed me how terrible my future could potentially be unless I started standing up for myself.
You wouldnt even know me now if you met me and I have you but mostly myself to thank for that.

bitofabind · 08-08-2019 12:12pm

there's so much "you did this" and "you said that" and playing all our communication around in my head like a broken record at the moment.

it just really, really hurts that you didnt want me in the end. that you went from day to night ovr the course of a few text messages and how instead of seeing that madness for what it was, the big fat red flag that it is, im internalising the whole thing and feeling like absolute crap about myself.

that's my issue obviously, but i wish you could see how your actions have hurt me. i thought you were a breath of fresh air. i thought you said what you meant and meant what you said. believed every word you said. and in the space of a week, you let me down colossally, totally dismissed my feelings out of hand and ended things over text. not even a phone call.

was it all just an ego boost for you? or are you really that messed up? or did your feelings just switch off like a tap? i dont understand any of this.

anyway. things are good at work. i got what i wanted. the respect and the money and the title. and i can;t even get excited. all i feel is hurt, and pain. the sad thing is id give it all up for the shot at something real, something meaningful, the shot at love again. and i'd probably do it all again in the morning.

more fool me.

Salthillprom · 09-08-2019 9:46pm

Why don't you ever get in touch? I waited for so long and I'm finally used to the fact that you'll probably never text or email or message me on social media again. I thought you knew me more than anyone else, but maybe I was wrong. You stopped talking to me out of the blue - but I suppose maybe that was always going to happen. I had a very traumatic day and I was struggling. I told you the event that I'd been to that day. You never even checked to see if I was OK. I was the one who always made the first effort to talk. I thought this time you might reciprocate. But you didn't. I hope you are happy in your life. I presume you are. You have everything you want in life now. I was incidental. I was there for you when you were bored. I see that now.

stop animal cruelty · 09-08-2019 11:21pm

M - I like u. I don't know if u like me too. I didn't write back cause I just can't read u and I'm not sure if ur into me or not. And I don't wanna be wasting my time, plus my heart hasn't fully healed yet.

stop animal cruelty · 15-08-2019 12:42pm

U again... Just seen u at work.... Woah u looked HOT! *blushing like mad right now *

Kitty6277 · 16-08-2019 11:03pm

Since we moved back to our respective homes, I think I’ve realised how much I don’t trust you. I keep seeing that you’re online on Facebook and I’m wondering who you’re talking to. Of course it could be totally innocent but after what I found out over the summer, I just don’t know. And you don’t have to be on your best behaviour anymore so how am I to know what you’re up to now?

20-09-2019 9:22pm

Hello,

I just posted in AH about stopping time at 2009. How are you? Working I hope. Are you still living in the same place? Whenever I pass by one of your bus stops I always check to see if you are waiting there. Whenever I spot a big hairy man walking down the street I look twice to see if it's you. It never is of course.

If we met I would burst in to tears. I would hold on to you and try to find a piece of what was once there. I would beg you to stay. To tell me, I don't know know what, something anything that would change the track of time.

But I would do none of that. Instead I would give you a quick hug, ask how you've been and let that be that.

Airyfairy12 · 23-09-2019 9:27pm

I dont know if youre a head fu*k or just half arsed but why did you contact me at all? first you message me wanting to reconnect then after a bit of small talk you stop replying to me out of the blue and I haven't heard from you since.
Either youre interested or your not, stop playing head games and grow up.

RhubarbCrumble · 23-09-2019 11:23pm

You've tripped yourself up with your lies now and you don't even realise it. I've gone out of my way to help you in the last year and I can see now that all you are is a selfish user. I'm sick of you constantly offloading all your problems on me, yet you NEVER ask how I am. Well guess what? I'm done with you. Find some other eejit because I've been one for long enough.

Kitty6277 · 24-09-2019 1:22am

F,

I know you’re into me sexually but is there any more to it than that? I really hope there is, if you asked me out properly I’d jump at the chance. But maybe it’s you, maybe you’re not looking to be a one woman man right now. If I only had the nerve to actually talk to you about any of this

RhubarbCrumble · 25-09-2019 2:12pm

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

You've tripped yourself up with your lies now and you don't even realise it. I've gone out of my way to help you in the last year and I can see now that all you are is a selfish user. I'm sick of you constantly offloading all your problems on me, yet you NEVER ask how I am. Well guess what? I'm done with you. Find some other eejit because I've been one for long enough.

Your sarcastic message this morning really proves my point. I'm suddenly beginning to understand why a lot of people have apparently 'fallen out with you'. To listen to you it was always someone else's fault, but there does seem to be one common denominator here.

Everyone else can't always be wrong.

The Crazy Cat Lady · 05-10-2019 4:44pm

Dear A,

You're keeping me going, thank you x

Aspie

Airyfairy12 · 15-10-2019 11:03pm

To the absolute b!tch who ran ahead of me in the coffee shop this morning.
I woke up with the worst cold and a sore throat. 15 minutes before work I popped into the coffee shop next door to my work to get a takeaway hot drink to help my throat and stuffy nose, also dying to pee.
I head in through the door of the coffee shop only for this wagon to cut infront and run ahead, she stands at the till, takes a couple of minutes to decide what coffee she wants to order, after she'd ordered it and it was run up on the till, she then walks away from the till, over to the food counter and casually takes her time looking at sandwiches.
After a good 5 inutes of reading every packet on the counter she decided she didnt want a sandwich so spent another 5 minutes looking at muffins before finally deciding which one she wanted all the while a Que building up behind her.
Finally I got my coffee with less than 2 minutes to get to work and didn't get to pee for 3 hours until I got my break.

I hate people like you.

flowerchild · 21-10-2019 8:56am

I miss you. I think I always will.

stop animal cruelty · 22-10-2019 8:43am

Deja Boo wrote: »

My heart breaks all over again when I see you declare your absolute love and devotion for someone who doesn't deserve it.

I would never have cheated on you - guess that small detail was not a priority when you were looking for Missus Perfect.

You deserve each other.

I wish my love for you would.just.die.

You deserve someone that has more self respect for themselves then that.

You will get over him DB, it's tough .. . Go out there and be the best version of yourself, that's what matters! It's tough, but won't be like this forever.

Sending u hugs x

ksceniaonegina · 23-10-2019 7:14am

I hope she gives you Chlamydia. Lol

bitofabind · 24-10-2019 10:18am

Dear self,

You are knackered. Physically, emotionally, spiritually knackered. It's been a tough year. Work is a circus of stress and chaos. The personal stuff has been a struggle. And now with therapy, processing some of the deeper stuff has become monumentally painful.

It's also your time of the month. So tears come easily. Tears before business meetings are no fun. But such is the state of your head right now. It will all be worth it. Hang in there. You are just doing your best. As always.

rainbow kirby · 24-10-2019 10:23pm

How do you expect me to forgive and forget when you have hurt me in ways that no person should be expected to live with?

Melania Frump · 25-10-2019 11:49pm

I do forgive. I just find the forgetting part hard. And I don't know what that means for us. I just want to rewind to before when everything was easier. But I can't and there is the problem.

Lavinia · 26-10-2019 9:26pm

Very hard to make a decision to leave you but I do need some alone time... I hope you will understand.....

ksceniaonegina · 26-10-2019 10:11pm

Size does matter

RhubarbCrumble · 26-10-2019 10:20pm

I don't like you anymore

Airyfairy12 · 26-10-2019 10:41pm

just text me ffs

stop animal cruelty · 27-10-2019 4:25am

I want u so bad, your so hot.

Kitty6277 · 29-10-2019 11:21pm

Did you mean what you said tonight or did you just say it because you were drunk and had your díck in me?

You said what I’ve wanted to hear and yet now that I have, I don’t know if I believe you or not. You swore it wasn’t the drink talking but honestly I’m not convinced

RhubarbCrumble · 03-11-2019 1:47pm

Oh give it a rest ffs! Sick of you slagging off my clothes just because you can't wear them.
Maybe if you stopped constantly eating crap then you wouldn't be a size 20 at 5ft.

Tammy! · 10-11-2019 3:14am

Sorry but you are not the centre of everyones life.

I have no issue cutting you out. Cut me out of yours too .....thanks !

Tammy! · 10-11-2019 12:26pm

And I forgot to mention you aswell. Not everything is about you either so save the crocodile tears. :rolleyes:

Absolute weasel of a woman. I'm embarrassed for you.

Three More Big Sleeps · 11-11-2019 6:09pm

Dear F,

Eleven/eleven. Happy 40th birthday: I hope you’ve found whatever it is that makes you happy.

Remember your sister told you that if you turned your back on me, you’d have no-one left? Remember who held your hand when we met with the lovely folks from the Rape Crisis Centre? Remember who came running when you “fell down the stairs"?

Remember you told me that you loved me?

Years and years later, I still don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.

I’m no longer angry, F, after wading selflessly through your wake of destruction; just irrevocably melancholy and, dear God, forever broken.

Happy, happy birthday, baby.

SAMTALK · 19-11-2019 10:36am

I wish you could see how beautiful a person you are. You're lack of confidence in yourself is heartbreaking.

You have the kindest heart and are a beautiful person but no matter how many times you are told you still don't believe it.

You pick men who you think you deserve . You need to start thinking about who deserves you !

Airyfairy12 · 19-11-2019 11:06pm

You need to grow up and cop on to yourself. Youre in your 30's with kids but act like bratty spoiled little princess. You expect everyone to pay your way like youre entitled to others people's money.
Everything you have your parents paid for, your house, your car, your kids, youve never worked a full week in your life and you have the cheek to pass comment on me because I have money, I work two jobs, everything I have I worked hard to get, I put myself through college and saved since I was 25, I saved my dole, I went without food to make sure I had something to put away in the credit union every week, I planned for my future because I had to, no one was ever going to give me a hand out or help me out and im proud of that, I know I can stand on my own two feet and will always have a safety net to fall back on.
Through all the years that I was badly stuck for money you never offered to help in anyway and I never expected you too but what really showed you for what you are was how much you looked down on me from your ivory tower because in your eyes I was 'poor'.
The years I worked hard and saved and up skilled to get better paying jobs are starting to pay off for me and for once in my life im able to buy nice things.
Instead of being happy for me your jealousy is obvious and if it wasnt bad enough that you questioned how I could afford the new shoes I bought and repeatedly called me a 'rich bitch' but when you started the crocodile tears about how you only have 400 a week to live on (of your dads money and your dole), tried to guilt me into giving you money and then started hinting about what expensive gifts you wanted for Christmas, to say it was uncomfortable being in the room with you is an understatement, I felt embarrassed for you.
By the way, when have you ever bought me a Christmas gift?
I dont know where your sense of superiority and self entitlement comes from?
You haven't achieved anything in your life, all youve ever done is financially drain everyone around you, use people for your own needs and throw tantrums when you dont get what you want.
You have ridiculous high standards for other people and how they treat you but you treat everyone like dirt.
If your partner knew what you where doing behind his back, that 8 weeks ago you had sex with a random married man that youd met on a night out, that you constantly text and send naked photos of yourself to other men, that a week after kicking him out with no where else to go because you felt he wasnt good enough for you.. you invite a random man from tinder over to your house and have sex with him in the bed you share with the father of your kids. Now, because you kicked him out, you dont have access to his money anymore youre feeling sorry for yourself.

Ive been there for you again and again and again but youre never there for me and it really hit me this week when you knew I was starting something new on Monday and you never even bothered to text me to ask how it went, you didnt even reply to my last text where I was checking up on you after what you did over the weekend.

I dont know why ive made excuses for you for so long but I just cant anymore, youre a total narcissists.

I dont think I want to be friends anymore.

SaltSweatSugar · 20-11-2019 1:14am

I can’t believe you’re gone, it’s not that long since I was laughing with you at the wedding. If I knew then how things would turn out, I’d have asked you for a dance and spent more time talking to you. I’m glad I got to see you last week and that we had one last chat.

You were one of the nicest, kindest, funniest men I ever met, and I’m so heartbroken that you’ll never take the piss out of me again. Thank you for always thinking of me at Christmas and New Year, I never expressed how much I appreciated ye thinking of me, and I was always so touched that you considered me part of your family. That St. Stephen’s Day that I spent with ye was one of my favourites, and it was so nice to spend New Year’s with ye last year, when I really didn’t want to be alone.

You have raised a wonderful family, and your children are my best friends. They are some of the most incredible, smart, loyal, caring and funny friends anyone could want, and that is down to you and your wife. They love you so much, and I know you loved them. They know that too. I’ll do my best to take care of them.

Thank you for letting five teenagers take over your shed with guitars, drums and amps all those years ago, for not complaining about the noise we made, for being so cool, for being an amazing family man, and for being like a second father to me.

I’ll miss you big man.

Kitty6277 · 27-11-2019 2:26pm

A,

What the fcuk are you doing? Or is this you showing your true colours and am I the stupid one? This seems so out of character for what I thought you were like, so maybe I am just the stupid one.

PoisonIvyBelle · 04-12-2019 4:45pm

Y,
I am so sorry that this world was too hard for you to bear. I understand why you had to leave. I just wish you hadn't.

X,
Things like this make me think. This past whole year has made me think. I've wanted to reach out to you now and then, but your sheer lack of empathy held me back. But the things you said? They were cruel and so very untrue. And perhaps you did believe such things, but even if you didn't that's a cycle I'm not sure that you can ever break. I'm not sure what it is that draws me to you, I think I was attracted to how unemotional you could be - stoic, steady, calm. And you know the worst part of it all? If you apologised, if you truly understood that what you said came out of anger rather than reality, I would accept it once again.
What kind of weakness does that display in me?

JF,
I miss you. I miss my friend. I'm sorry we couldn't fix it. But I will always be grateful to you for the years that you spent keeping me alive.

okiss · 23-12-2019 12:06am

Dear C,
Thanks for sending me a message on Sunday night. You were supposed to contact me last Thursday re us meeting on Friday. I know you were not well and were busy in work.
Yet you were well enough to go out with your new boy

Airyfairy12 · 24-12-2019 12:22am

I know youre on cloud 9 right now with this new guy and I dont want to ruin that or the happiness youre feeling but from what youve told me about him there are so many red flags. Youve only be talking to him about 2 weeks but already know his life story, he's told you all about his mental health history, his relationship and family history, you know his financial situation and now he wants to plaster it all over social media that youre seeing each other.
He has kids to different women, told you all about his 'crazy' exes and how he's a victim yet doesnt take any responsibility for any wrong doing? I would love to hear his exes side of the story.
I had a peep at his facebook and nearly every post is about how he's been hard done by and how toxic and manipulative women are and a load of other sexist posts about women, theres also allot posted about his personal life and 'deep' posts about depression and anxiety that didnt come across genuine but more like 'poor me'. Not to mention the umpteen selfies, posts of him flexing his muscles and how every post from him has lots of comments from random women, he clearly loves the attention.
He's texting you 12 hours a day from the time he gets up to when he goes to sleep.
He's telling you everything you want to hear, some of the things you told me he said are clearly attempts at boosting your ego and getting you to like him and youre being completely sucked in by it. Not forgetting you've already heard bad things about him from other women.
I get really bad vibes from the whole thing. He sounds like a covert narcissist.
I know you wont listen to me but ive had enough bad relationships to spot the signs and this guy is abusive if given the chance.

notsoyoungwan · 25-12-2019 2:33pm

notsoyoungwan wrote: »

Hard to believe so much time has passed since you died. Yesterday I wore the necklace from our ‘lost weekend in Paris’...ten years ago yet i remember it as if it was only last week. It’s beyond belief to think of you dead and buried. That mega-watt smile that transforms your face...you’ll never smile it again. It catches me off guard so often... I think that I must tell you something or that you’d enjoy something and then it hits me all over again that you’re gone. I hope you didn’t suffer, that you died so suddenly you didn’t know it was happening. To think anything else is unbearable. You had so much living left to do, you were only getting started! Life is cruel.
I’m grateful for what we had, whatever label may be put on it. It was fun, it was dreamy, it was adventurous, it was loving, it was sexy, it was exciting, it was an eye-opener, it was life-changing, it was bloody epic! Thank you for that. I will always remember and I will always miss you.

My dear M,

Now more than a year has elapsed since you died. So much has happened, and it still seems unbelievable at times. I think of you so often. Your smile, your rogueish nature, your sincerity, your sense of craic, your character. I miss you. There’s no other way to put it. There are others in your life who have a greater claim to grief than I, but still, I miss you, I mourn you, I think of you and I will never forget you.

RhubarbCrumble · 25-12-2019 6:47pm

S, you are NOT Copernicus and the universe does NOT revolve around you.
Mr Crumble and I are at a 'friends' today. I wasn't too keen on coming, but was persuaded into it.
Another friend who lives near S was also coming with her teenager.

S has been snippy, bitch, argumentative and critical ever since we got here. Her usual entitled self in other words. I've just kept my mouth shut, but I am REALLY on the verge of telling her where to go. I'm 40 years old and I don't need to be told that I'm looking at my phone too much, that I shouldn't put salt on my potatoes before tasting them and that I'm 'clearly OCD' because I was annoyed about having to take dog hair out of my glass and cup and off the meat.

Unfortunately Mr C and myself are staying here. The other guest and her teen left about 5. She's just messaged me apologising for leaving so soon, but saying that she just couldn't take anymore of our esteemed host and the constant criticism and bitchyness.

At least I know that it's not just me anyway!

I will NOT be coming again.

ETA: She had the camera shoved in my face all day. I asked her not to put any pictures of me up on Facebook because I don't post pictures of myself online.
I've just seen that she's put up three pictures of me, each one more unflattering than the next because of the angle she deliberately took them from.
Very pissed off right now.

JackTaylorFan · 27-12-2019 12:24pm

Dear E, D, C. V, B, U. M, A, F

Everyone of you treated me like **** this year, I hope you all have a miserable 2020 and then die alone

Cheers

RhubarbCrumble · 27-12-2019 4:43pm

I'm sick of you putting everyone before me and never giving a f**k about me.
If anyone else in your life was going through what I am, you wouldn't be able to do enough for them, but as usual when it's me, it's a different story.
I have gone out of my way to be there for you and have tried my bloody hardest to help you when you need help during the year, but obviously I've been a complete bloody fool because it's very obvious that you don't give a damn about me.
I come right down the bottom of your list every time.
You don't care about me. You don't care what happens to me and you couldn't make it more obvious if you tried, yet you're constantly claiming that I'm being 'ridiculous', while you deny everything as usual.
What do you even want me in your life for anymore? Is it just to use as a verbal punchbag? Because you're certainly making me feel as though that's all I'm good for.
Dump all your **** on me, but the minute I need any help or support, you just don't want to know.
I'm tired of you treating me like ****.

SaltSweatSugar · 27-12-2019 8:57pm

You’re an alcoholic. Whether you believe it or not. You’ve said some hurtful, unforgivable things. I can’t wait for you to leave tomorrow. If I could leave the house tonight and stay somewhere else I would.

RhubarbCrumble · 02-01-2020 12:11am

S, karma's a bitch eh? Serves you right!

The Crazy Cat Lady · 02-01-2020 8:15pm

dear self,

make it your best year yet

you can do it x

from aspie

Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

Comments

Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1