Coming home? Are you thinking about it?

wuffly · 08-11-2016 7:27am

I spent 10 weeks at home over the summer after the birth of my first baby. Disappointingly it cured me of my desire to move home anytime soon.
I've been away for 6 years and have always had a hankering to move home but spending an extended period there albeit during a stressful time really showed me I'm not ready and also what we would need to have in place to move back and be happy.
There were a lot of positives, free gp care for under 6's we brought our little fella to my family gp and weren't charged for his vaccines, we were up front about living abroad and were fully prepared and expecting to pay but were weren't charged. On the down side we don't plan to live in my home area when we move back and trying to get in with a GP where we will live seemed like a mammoth task, form filling and approvals. Unfortunately from a breastfeeding perspective Ireland is in the dark ages, between health care 'professionals' and family pressure I gave up far earlier than I hoped, looking back the struggles I had were probably nothing that couldn't have been over come with a little more time and support, which I was getting where we live and despite paying a fortune to see private specialists at home didn't really get. The little dude is happy and thriving but being in Ireland definitely did not help.
I never noticed that people at home seem to have a sort of 'body dysmorphia' about the weather they genuinely can't understand when you say the weather has been nice they are convinced its terrible all the time. We were at home for 10 weeks with a baby that hated to sleep so we walked morning noon and night, there were about 3 days where we didn't due to rain all day. Whenever we mentioned it was nice summer, just dry, not amazingly sunny or anything, we were met with disbelief and denial it was really bizarre.
We were lucky lots of people made an effort to see us but they are all over the country so it was pretty limited. My own family were amazing and extremely helpful. Settled into a great routine, they didn't go out of their way they just added us into their routine which was great. My inlaws on the otherhand were not to put too fine a point on it dicks... would never stay with them beyond a few days again. Despite 'having' to stay with them they really didn't want to have a young baby in the house, totally fair enough but then don't insist we stay then undermine every parenting decision we make. Despite it being a bit rubbish its very good to know this stuff for the future.
Looking at the life we have here missing family is a major minus but we have friends that live in walking distance and friends with kids almost exactly the same age, my work provides health insurance, even part time i earn more than i would at home, the weather is now great for walks and there are more and more places to go for walks. In a year we will have a Louvre down the road and a bunch of theme parks are opening shortly. We will move home for him to go to school but I think I will find it a lot harder to leave than I ever expected.

Suaimhneach · 08-11-2016 7:54am

Congratulations on your baby! I'm sorry your time at home sounds a bit mixed. I never understand when people think it's ok to pass comment on other parents, especially new parents.
I definitely think a key to the success of coming back is having a foundation where you can have space to yourself and set up your own routine, I can only imagine that's doubled with a baby.
Glad you're at least happy to stay away for longer, and not sad you have to leave? Silver lining!

lawred2 · 08-11-2016 7:58am

jester77 wrote: »

15 years gone and can't ever see myself returning. When you live somewhere where things just work (health care, public transport, government, etc) then it is too difficult to give that up. Lower taxes and being close to family would be nice, but the sacrifice is now too big.

Where is that? Canada?

DM addict · 08-11-2016 8:06am

I'm heading back in six weeks. Kinda scared at this stage by the amount we still have to do.

wuffly · 08-11-2016 8:35am

Suaimhneach wrote: »

Congratulations on your baby! I'm sorry your time at home sounds a bit mixed. I never understand when people think it's ok to pass comment on other parents, especially new parents.
I definitely think a key to the success of coming back is having a foundation where you can have space to yourself and set up your own routine, I can only imagine that's doubled with a baby.
Glad you're at least happy to stay away for longer, and not sad you have to leave? Silver lining!

Thank you! Its definitely not unique to Ireland or to family, I get it a lot from randomers here, 'baby is hungry, baby shouldn't be out this young, is it a girl, 'it' looks like a girl etc...' I've become pretty snappy and ask if they are pediatricians or mind readers or just mention they are rude and to jog on! 100% agree a good foundation is vital to making a move home work, not so much winging it which is what we have always done. I'm glad we did it and we know what to expect, great learning curve!
Sounds like you are really settling in well which is great to hear!

funkypumpkins · 04-04-2018 10:36pm

Yeah I am thinking about it from the UK (East Midlands). Though, I question if I will get the opportunities I want in Ireland. All the people I love, close family and friends are at home and I haven't really settled or felt a sense of home in the UK (even though I am a Brit; Mother is Irish). I am also training to be a teacher which has better prospects in England even though the system is more cut-throat than Ireland (reading the Irish news makes that even more clear when you see pay inequality)...We will see how the career move goes and then I will make a call

BlackEdelweiss · 05-04-2018 9:51pm

We made our decision a few months ago to return home and it feels like the best decision we ever made. I will have a decent drop in salary, rents will be higher, car insurance will screw us but none of these things are in our minds at all. The thought of being back in Ireland, nearer family and feeling part of a bigger group rather than being isolated on the other side of the world, communicating only through skype and whats app. We are moving to a different part of Ireland than where we left so it will still be a new experience and we dont have a lot of family or friends in the area so no disappointments about not being the centre of attention or anything like that. Its going to be tough, we are not being naive about it but we know Ireland is where our hearts have always been. If anything, moving abroad for 6 years has strengthened our love of our country and for our desire for our kids to be brought up Irish.

BlackEdelweiss · 17-05-2018 1:12am

Flights booked for August 1st. 10 weeks to pack up our NZ life and get the Irish one going again. Its been a roller coaster living in NZ, cant say we ever liked the place but the kids love it and have all done well. We made a few decent friends, 2 to be precise and a few acquaintances. We dont regret coming here but we cant wait to leave. Hopefully this will make our transition to Ireland easier as we will not be pinning for the life we left behind in NZ.

twiddleypop · 08-08-2018 3:10pm

Hello,
I have been away for 2 years and travelling for around 8 months. I'm honestly a little bit tired of travelling and want to come home. I loved where I was living but going back isn't really an option- there weren't many job opportunities and I was happy enough to leave when I did.
I have just had a job interview for a decent job in my hometown. I just don't know whether to take it or not. I've been quite homesick for a while now but I suppose I have money to keep travelling if I want and such freedom. I just don't think my heart is in it. Backpacking culture is just drinking with other travelling. Everywhere is crowded. I keep getting sick. I think everyone must think I'm living the dream but its just so far from the case. It is just not fulfilling me the way I thought it would but I'm also worried I have a romantic notion of home too. I don't doubt it would be difficult to come back. My family have changed and grown and most of my friends are in Dublin. I have enough savings for a house deposit and I figure I could at least buy a property and rent it out if I wanted to leave again. I'm only 26 so worst comes to worst I move home, hate it and leave again?
I would love to keep travelling in the future but I think after a month, you lose appreciation and at this point, I just feel like a bit of a waster! I don't have kids and could probably live at home for a while. My only major annoyance will be car insurance because I have not been driving for a good few months now. I've mentioned this to a few friends but don't want to even talk to my family until my mind is made up. I just keep reading these horror stories about moving home but there is something in my gut telling me to.

BlackEdelweiss · 02-09-2018 9:36am

We are home 1 month now and so far so good. We just feel like we are back to normal life again and not living in limbo. We moved to a different part of Ireland than where we are from so there is still an element of keeping the adventure going. We love it so far and it feels like 100% the right decision. It is hard getting set up but hopefully we are over the worst of it now.

statina · 07-09-2018 9:01pm

We came home nearly 3 years ago and never regretted the decision for a second. Like any country, Ireland is what you make of it yourself. Don’t listen to the naysayers, avoid the news and you’ll be grand!

Kevhog1988 · 17-06-2020 1:50pm

Just thought of this thread after reading something id sent to the irish times before.

Im home 3 years and i have to say its the best decision ive ever made but i dont regret any of my time away now.

joxer1988 · 14-12-2020 6:04pm

Kevhog1988 wrote: »

Just thought of this thread after reading something id sent to the irish times before.

Im home 3 years and i have to say its the best decision ive ever made but i dont regret any of my time away now.

Hi Kevhog, this sounds ideal. Can you elaborate a little on why? I'm at the stage we're weighing up a return from Canada and looking to hear from other's experiences.

BailMeOut · 14-12-2020 10:03pm

We just passed our 10 year anniversary of moving home and we have zero regrets. With kids, you hit a 'now or never' point to move back and we timed it perfectly. The biggest advice I can give is to consider the move home an opportunity to reset and not necessarily just slip back to where you came from. We choose a town that is quite beautiful and on the sea that we have no connection to but always liked visiting and now our lifestyles and quality of life are I believe so much better than if we settled back to where we originally grew up. We get constant visitors so never a dull moment in our house (until Covid!) and we now have a whole new community of great new friends in our new home town.

I would however never trade the experiences of living and working abroad for 10+ years but really glad to be living back in this beautiful country.

jiminho · 14-01-2021 6:11am

So myself and my family have made the decision to move home to Ireland after 8 years abroad. We’ve already hit road blocks with getting our kids into primary schools as all applications have been accepted in most places for junior infants so we’re looking at 2022 now. What kind of costs should we expect for our return? Of the top of my head I’m thinking of the obvious: moving costs incl flights, rental for at least a year upon our return, furniture, vehicles, down payment for a house....am I missing anything obvious?

votecounts · 14-01-2021 6:19am

jiminho wrote: »

So myself and my family have made the decision to move home to Ireland after 8 years abroad. We’ve already hit road blocks with getting our kids into primary schools as all applications have been accepted in most places for junior infants so we’re looking at 2022 now. What kind of costs should we expect for our return? Of the top of my head I’m thinking of the obvious: moving costs incl flights, rental for at least a year upon our return, furniture, vehicles, down payment for a house....am I missing anything obvious?

health insurance would be a priority,
have you a job lined up
car insurance
good luck with the move, hope it all works out:)

BailMeOut · 14-01-2021 12:03pm

jiminho wrote: »

So myself and my family have made the decision to move home to Ireland after 8 years abroad. We’ve already hit road blocks with getting our kids into primary schools as all applications have been accepted in most places for junior infants so we’re looking at 2022 now. What kind of costs should we expect for our return? Of the top of my head I’m thinking of the obvious: moving costs incl flights, rental for at least a year upon our return, furniture, vehicles, down payment for a house....am I missing anything obvious?

Depending on where you are coming from consider moving 183+ days into the new year (4th July) so you are not tax resident here for your first year back which may save you some money.

Do you have a bank account in Ireland and that's one of the first things you will need to setup and can take some effort when you move here. Also make sure you can seamlessly move money from foreign account to Ireland and if this is a non Euro currency research options to wire money with better FX and fees (fexco are very good).

jiminho · 14-01-2021 9:32pm

BailMeOut wrote: »

Depending on where you are coming from consider moving 183+ days into the new year (4th July) so you are not tax resident here for your first year back which may save you some money.

Do you have a bank account in Ireland and that's one of the first things you will need to setup and can take some effort when you move here. Also make sure you can seamlessly move money from foreign account to Ireland and if this is a non Euro currency research options to wire money with better FX and fees (fexco are very good).

Thanks for the above posts. I’m hoping whatever jobs we get will have some form of health benefits and car insurance yes is a good one to remember as I heard that can be difficult.

Thanks for the tax info, I will keep that in mind. We closed our BOI account a couple of years ago because we kept getting fees and having to transfer money from abroad. In hindsight, I should have just deposited a hundred or two to tie us over for a few years. I’m hoping this won’t cause too many issues opening new accounts.

What would be the best method from a tax, and fee, perspective to transfer money from a non-EU country to Ireland? I’ll check Fexco. Funds would be in the low six figures.

carrotcake · 15-01-2021 9:46am

jiminho wrote: »

What would be the best method from a tax, and fee, perspective to transfer money from a non-EU country to Ireland? I’ll check Fexco. Funds would be in the low six figures.

Have a look at Revolut and TransferWise.

BailMeOut · 15-01-2021 11:59am

carrotcake wrote: »

Have a look at Revolut and TransferWise.

Not sure I would transfer six-figure amounts of money via Revolut! Fexco is Irish based in Kerry and their rates and fees are really competitive.

When you close a bank account in Ireland I think they just make it dormant so you may be able to resurrect it again (I know I was able to re-open an ancient college-era AIB account after 20 years when I got back and am still using it. I'd call BOI and see can they re-open that closed account as that will save you so much hassle when you get back. When open do a small online test wire to make sure no issues and keep good records and you may have to explain the source of this money to revenue.

jiminho · 19-02-2021 6:38am

Following on from my posts above,I have a job offer back in Ireland. It’s a step down in responsibility and the money isn’t as good as I have over here, or what I was hoping for, but the growth potential is higher and is a transfer within the company so it poses less risk. Crunching the numbers, we can make it work, but we’re not going to be as well off as we are over here. You’ll say that sounds silly as most people move abroad to earn more money but the salary offered is lower even then my initial benchmark (or the min I would move for) but having done some further research, it’s within an acceptable range for that position and years of experience. We’re now hit with a dilemma: live a life with fewer money issues and giving our kids everything they need/want or packing our bags and moving home to be closer to family but lowering our expectations with regards material possessions (specifically a house). The pros and cons list weighs heavily in favour of staying but I believe this will put a nail in the coffin for ever moving home. My head says stay but my gut is telling me to move home and just hope we can make it work. So my question is, for families that have made the move from abroad to back in Ireland; any regrets? I can’t help but feel if I don’t take this offer, I’ll look back at this moment on my deathbed as the biggest mistake of my life but in the end, I just want what’s best for my family.

CelticRambler · 19-02-2021 8:44am

Where is "over here", how long were you there, and what ages are the older children?

Money isn't everything, and you might find that you can save in ways that you don't see immediately. Then again "family" isn't everything either, and to pick a very small hole in your post above, we didn't move abroad to earn more (went from modest to considerably less) but for lifestyle values that we felt we couldn't have in either Ireland or the UK.

jester77 · 19-02-2021 8:55am

I wouldn't put so much emphasis on the money, unless you are talking 20 or 30k+ of a difference. Do your kids want to move? What ages are they, how is their English, what about their friends, hobbies, etc. I would put some weight on those things as well when coming to a decision.

sashafierce · 19-02-2021 12:27pm

jiminho wrote: »

I can’t help but feel if I don’t take this offer, I’ll look back at this moment on my deathbed as the biggest mistake of my life but in the end, I just want what’s best for my family.

I think this is your answer....

jiminho · 19-02-2021 3:49pm

jester77 wrote: »

I wouldn't put so much emphasis on the money, unless you are talking 20 or 30k+ of a difference. Do your kids want to move? What ages are they, how is their English, what about their friends, hobbies, etc. I would put some weight on those things as well when coming to a decision.

Answering the above post as well, we’ve been abroad for 10 years and have three kids under 6 and they’re English is fine. The difference in my salary would be about €10k less. Hers wouldn’t change much but the cost of living difference is about 30% more expensive in Dublin, which is where we want to settle.

What experiences have people had moving home?

sashafierce · 19-02-2021 4:42pm

jiminho wrote: »

Answering the above post as well, we’ve been abroad for 10 years and have three kids under 6 and they’re English is fine. The difference in my salary would be about €10k less. Hers wouldn’t change much but the cost of living difference is about 30% more expensive in Dublin, which is where we want to settle.

What experiences have people had moving home?

I moved home 5 years ago and I've been in Dublin since and the only thing in my experience that's more expensive here is my rent however from friends currently in Toronto it appears to have matched or passed it out now.

When i look at the price of things like milk, meat and phone contracts over there I can't believe how much I spent compared to Ireland.

What I miss greatly about Toronto though is the public transport. Luckily I drive to work so its a non issue here for me but christ dublin public transport is awful.

Coming home? Are you thinking about it?

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