Dental plan!

the purple tin · 22-11-2011 4:43pm

Lisa: I like you, Milhouse, but not in that way. You're more like a little sister.

Milhouse: No, I'm not! Why does everyone keep saying that?

Padkir · 22-11-2011 5:26pm

the purple tin wrote: »

Lisa: I like you, Milhouse, but not in that way. You're more like a little sister.

Milhouse: No, I'm not! Why does everyone keep saying that?

*puts on pedantic hat*

It's actually big sister!

Sorry but I like my quotes accurate!!

:D

mfdc · 22-11-2011 9:01pm

Moe: A "garage"! Hey fellas... a "garage"...! Well ooh la de da mister frenchman!
Homer: Well, what do you call it?
Moe: A car hole!

Homer: *gasp* A counterfeit jeans ring, operating out of my car hole! You wait here while I go tell everybody!
Herman: Not so fast!
Homer: Alright...
*Homer slows down*
Herman: Hmm, maybe you should just stop altogether.

Mobster: Oh no, it's Gloria Vanderbilt, out for revenge!!

Jordan 199 · 22-11-2011 9:16pm

Homer: All you can eat, hah!

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, The Neverending Story.

Homer: Do you think I have a case?

Lionel Hutz: Now, Homer, I don't use the word 'hero' very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history.

Otis Driftwood · 22-11-2011 9:40pm

Jordan 191 wrote: »

Homer stands on one foot, touching his noes with his eyes closed.

Homer: "W, X, Y & Z/Now I know my ABC's/ (switches to other foot) Won't you come and play with me?"

Eddie: Flawless.

Lou: We would have also accepted "Tell me what you think of me."

Barney - Use the breathalyser!

cocoshovel · 22-11-2011 9:40pm

Kent Brockman: Tonight we'll visit Springfields answer to the benedictine monks, The Rappin Rabbi's!
Rabbis: Don't eat pork! not even with a fork! Cant touch this!

Homer: Marge are we Jewish?
Marge:No Homer
Homer: Woohoo! *starts eating pig*

Jordan 199 · 23-11-2011 1:27am

Reverend Lovejoy: And now, to read from the Epistles of St. Paul, Homer Simpson.

Homer: Dear Lord, in your infinite wisdom, you know the number to call when you need a plow is KLONDIKE 5-3226.

Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, this is really low.

Homer: Not as low as my low, low prices!

corblimey · 23-11-2011 10:39am

Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then I'd be afraid of smothering him
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair
Marge: That's not what I meant
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it

Jordan 199 · 23-11-2011 2:09pm

Krusty the Clown: Give a hoot and read a book.

Padkir · 23-11-2011 6:23pm

Abe: He was right under my nose the whole time. He lives in my retirement home. His name is Malloy.

Lisa: Wow! How'd you track him down, Grampa?

Abe: Good question! On one of my frequent trips to the ground, I noticed Malloy wore sneakers...for sneaking. My next clue came yesterday at the museum. We felt slighted by your age-bashing, and started home. Malloy said, "I'll catch up with you."
[Malloy shoots a rope over the building]
I couldn't quite put my finger on it. There was something strange about the way he walked -- much more vertical than usual. And finally, Malloy, unlike most retired people, has the world's largest cubic zirconia on his coffee table.

Full.Duck · 23-11-2011 7:20pm

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

GreeBo · 23-11-2011 7:42pm

Lisa: I'm losing my perspicacity!
Homer: Its always in the last place you look!

dan1895 · 23-11-2011 8:10pm

Mr. Burns: I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation to Richard Nixon?

Jordan 199 · 23-11-2011 8:18pm

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Brendog · 23-11-2011 9:03pm

"Can I have some pig?"

"Thy ears are only open to the please of those who speak ye old english"

"Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now thy woon, that I may sup, upon suckling pig this noon"

"Whatever..."

Galway K9 · 23-11-2011 10:15pm

Full.Duck wrote: »

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Marge: "You were drunk!"
Homer: "And how!!!"

Jesus Wept · 23-11-2011 10:24pm

dan1895 wrote: »

Mr. Burns: I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation to Richard Nixon?

Smithers: It’s unlikely sir, they spell and pronounce their names differently.

Galway K9 · 23-11-2011 10:36pm

Seans_Username wrote: »

Milhouse's Dad: I sleep in a racing car, do you?

lol just thought of this one

Kirk Van Houten: If you see a tie on the door knob, that means I'm with a lady.
Homer: But you don't have a door knob.
Kirk Van Houten: I don't have a tie either!!!

Jordan 199 · 23-11-2011 11:18pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kW4uYInAFE

corblimey · 24-11-2011 10:31am

Jordan 191 wrote: »

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Hello, and welcome to the Springfield Police Department rescue phone. If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. To choose from a list of felonies, press two. If you are being murdered or calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line...You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one

IvyTheTerrible · 24-11-2011 11:24am

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

coonecb1 · 24-11-2011 11:39am

I love how the news guy in the helicopter's name is 'Arnie Pie'. They could have easily titled his segment, 'Pie in the Sky', but instead....

Kent Brockman: Now, let's go over live to Arnie Pie with 'Arnie in the Sky!'

Brendog · 24-11-2011 2:10pm

Oh no! that sinister looking kid is coming to kill me! HELP! HELP!!! *falls over*

Jordan 199 · 24-11-2011 2:27pm

Marge: Careful now. These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types. So avoid all eye contact, watch your pocket, and suspect everyone.

Snake: Three card monte!

Homer: Woohoo! Easy Money!

Nervous Wreck · 24-11-2011 2:38pm

dan1895 wrote: »

Mr. Burns: I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation to Richard Nixon?

Smithers: I doubt it sir; they spell and pronounce their names differently.

corblimey · 24-11-2011 5:42pm

Thanks, Mayor Simpson! From now on, we'll all be taking golden showers!

timmy880 · 24-11-2011 5:56pm

Kent Brockman: Tonight on Smartline, our report from the Middle East will not be seen, so that we may bring you a man who bought an ice cream cone.

Homer Simpson: That's me.

Kent Brockman: Of course, that has nothing to do with the fact that the ice cream parlor and this station are owned by the same company, but I digress.

Jordan 199 · 24-11-2011 9:22pm

Homer: Wait a minute, there's something bothering me about this place. I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap, ladies!

Woman: What's her problem?

Jordan 199 · 25-11-2011 2:07am

Freddy Quimby: Hey, what the hell is this?

Waiter: It's a bowl of Show-dair.

Freddy Quimby: Wait a minute. Come here. What did you call it? Say it loud enough for everyone to hear. Come on! Say it.

Waiter: Show-dair.

Freddy Quimby: "Show-dair?" "Show-dair?" It's "chowdah." Say it right.

Waiter: Show-dair.

Freddy Quimby: Come back here! I'm not through demeaning you.

Brendog · 25-11-2011 3:41am

Who the hell is this guy?

Lionel Hutz court appointed attorney, I'll be defending you on the charge of...murder one! Wow even if I lose I'll be famous.

PrettyBoy · 25-11-2011 4:16am

"I noticed he wore sneakers - for sneaking!"

(Grandpa on Molloy, the Cat Burglar)

Dunny · 25-11-2011 8:32am

Homer: "Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man - from Happyland! In a gum-drop house on Lollypop Lane! ... Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."

Marge: Well duh

corblimey · 25-11-2011 11:16am

I'll take care of this! Jumaji! Does anything from the movies actually work?

sensibleken · 25-11-2011 11:27am

Burns giving exercise classes: Push out the jive, bring in the love.

PrettyBoy · 25-11-2011 2:57pm

sensibleken wrote: »

Burns giving exercise classes: Push out the jive, bring in the love.

"SIX-HI-YI-YA!"

PrettyBoy · 25-11-2011 3:00pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-E5NaWlBuc

Brendog · 25-11-2011 5:45pm

PrettyBoy wrote: »

"SIX-HI-YI-YA!"

"Give me a ride or everybody dies"

talla10 · 25-11-2011 7:07pm

corblimey wrote: »

I'll take care of this! Jumaji! Does anything from the movies actually work?

FBI reading Homers mail; Look at this guy!! Some guys write to movie stars- he writes to movies. Dear Die Hard you rock!!

Glico Man · 26-11-2011 1:14am

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No. [buzz] All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him! [ding]
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz] A date. [buzz] Dinner with friends. [buzz] Dinner alone. [buzz] Watching TV alone. [buzz] All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog! [buzz] Sears catalog. [ding] Now, would you unhook this already, please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! [buzz]

coonecb1 · 26-11-2011 1:33am

[Homer and Marge visit Mr. Burns who is dressed for wrestling]

Mr Burns: Back when I wrestled at Yale, I was in the lightest weight category: "ether weight." Now, get ready to face the wrath of the "New Haven Nuisance!" Side-mount! Takedown! Advantage! Reversal! Reversal! Clinch! Clinch, I say!

Marge: Listen, I'm late for a PTA meeting.

Acacia · 26-11-2011 3:05am

Moe: I'm so desperately lonely.

kieran26 · 26-11-2011 3:36am

Pumpkin sales have been goin up and up all through the month of October, i reckon they'll peak right around early january.

teddansonswig · 26-11-2011 3:40am

Oh Smithers, I would have said anything to get your stem cells

the purple tin · 26-11-2011 2:55pm

The bone's the very thing, methinks, to prank my sister and the dink.

PrettyBoy · 26-11-2011 3:24pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8

dominiquecruz · 26-11-2011 4:32pm

Larry brings Homer to eat at Burns' mansion -

Mr. Burns: Does your son bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?
Homer: Oh, all the time! Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little weiner..

the purple tin · 26-11-2011 7:23pm

No one must know I dropped my glasses in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accord.

Fear Uladh · 26-11-2011 7:49pm

...and one more thing, you must find the jade monkey, before the next full moon.

Actually sir we found the jade monkey, he was in your glove box.

And road maps and ice scraper?

They were in there too sir.

Excellent, it allllll falling into place.

talla10 · 26-11-2011 8:10pm

kieran26 wrote: »

Pumpkin sales have been goin up and up all through the month of October, i reckon they'll peak right around early january.

Homers Stockbroker; I keep telling you Simpson you gotta sell all your pumpkins by Halloween!!HALLOWEEN!!

Riddle101 · 26-11-2011 10:54pm

talla10 wrote: »

FBI reading Homers mail; Look at this guy!! Some guys write to movie stars- he writes to movies. Dear Die Hard you rock!!

Especially with that guy in the elevator.

P.S Do you know Mad Max?

Dental plan!

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