Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

To the sudden surge of bored random men sitting at home adding me on social media for "chats" ....please fûck off....

I love you

While I'm sure your new decking etc will be lovely, please consider your neighbours who are stuck in their homes, trying to work from home, have babies trying to nap, have no where else to escape to during this time. The noise level from this constriction is ridiculous at this stage and it seems to be never ending.

I hope everyone is being very careful of this virus and looking after yourselves. I miss you all.

I don't know if you even remember me. I genuinely almost sent this message directly to you, I found you on instagram but, I decided against it because, I don't think it would do any good for you to hear this now.

Remember the guy your sister was friends with? The guy with the same name as you? The guy who your sister told to stay away from me? The guy who, from the first night I met him, was all over me like a rash? He raped me.

I didn't cheat on you, I know that's what he told his friends and your sister and what she told you. His exact words were "great blow job, average in bed". I can still hear those words in my head. Maybe the blow job was great because I was practically unconscious and my gag reflex never kicked in.

It was Good Friday 2009. Your sister and her friends, people who I thought were my friends, invited me to a house party at the guys' house, 3 of them shared a house and it was basically where all nights out finished.

We drank a lot that day. I can't remember exactly what time we got there at but, we had certainly started drinking before 6pm. I hadn't eaten much that day and, unfortunately, I got quite drunk. What I can remember is fragmented, I remember everyone leaving the sitting room and him coming back in. I remember becoming aware of him kissing me. I remember noticing the door at the other end of the room opening and one of the other guys sticking his head around the door, he waved him away, continuing to kiss me. I remember reaching my hand out to the other guy, maybe I waved it at him, it felt like cement. The next thing I remember is being brought upstairs by him, I could barely walk, I kept slipping and he was basically bearing all my weight, and he was shorter than me so it took time. I remember passing the door to the spare bedroom and opening it, thinking I was going to sleep in there, instead he took me into his room.

There's a big gap and the next thing I remember is me sitting on the edge of the bed in my dress, with no underwear on. I was suddenly very sober as I realised where I was and what had happened. I started to feel panicky, as I realised your sister and all her friends were in the house. I was the outsider. I was afraid that if I jumped up and started screaming that I had been raped, nobody would believe me. I noticed the stain on my dress, across the right shoulder and the right side of my chest. All I could think was, how can I hide that stain so that I can get out of this house without being noticed.

He was sleepy then, insisted on me lying down with him. He unlocked the bedroom door and I cried myself to sleep.

The following morning, we all got up. Everyone was quizzing each other on who they spent the night with and he lied and said I had just slept in his room and winked at me.

When I got home that day, to the house share I was in with your best friend and his cousin, I thought about the night before, should I tell you, how could I tell you. Things hadn't been good between us for a while so, rather than face the truth of what had happened to me, I broke up with you. It was only after I broke up with you that your sister told you that I had "cheated" on you. I wanted so badly to correct her but, then, it would have seemed like I was just making something up to cover my arse.

Your sister and her friends then spent 5 months harassing me online and in person. I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without them showing up in some form. I got into trouble at work because your sister's best friend put a note through the letterbox saying that I had chlamydia and had passed it on to 2 guys.

And, one of the worst things I had to ever do was go to the free STD clinic in St James's, on my own, and spend 7 hours there, to be told I did in fact have chlamydia. He raped me and he gave me an STD.
I'm glad that you and I were no longer having sex at that time, because I couldn't bear the thought of anyone touching me, at least that meant that I didn't pass it on to you.

The reason why this was on my mind is because I always find myself dwelling on this event at Easter time every year. I never spoke to you after your sister told you I "cheated" on you. I had to find a new place to live because, after I broke up with you, your best friend certainly didn't want me living with him. I had to find somewhere to live and move out while simultaneously trying not to be in the house I was moving out of. I loved living in that house more than any house share I've ever been in.

Since all of that stuff with your sister and her friends, I've never been able to trust anyone.

I often wonder how different my life would have been had these things never happened to me. You were a nice guy, we weren't right together but you were a nice guy. I hope life has been good for you.

Youre a 32 year old woman living in a house given to you by your family, driving a car bought for you by your family, you have never had a real job in your entire life, you have no education as you dropped out of school after failing your junior cert and no, answering the odd email for your parents business or minding the phone in the office for an hour or two during the week is not a job, even though your dad pays you an allowance every week, that still doesnt make it a job, especially while he also signs off on you getting working family payment so you can get social welfare on top of the allowence your dad gives you. You have a nice little set up there.
When you turned round and said that youre 'very independant' I was speechless, are you in denial or delusional?

I would say to myself-
Find more work-life-health-balance
Have more fun with your husband

I’m done with our one sided “friendship”. You know how much sh1t I’ve had to deal with this year between my family issues and Covid.
You know I knew Colm Horkan, you knew how upset I was over his murder, but you never reached out to me, or checked in like I would expect a friend would do.
Not once in the past few months have you contacted me first. You never ask how I am or what’s going on. I’ve messaged you. Yet you still complain to our other friend that you don’t hear from me much.

Friendship is supposed to work both ways. But ours doesn’t. I give up.

Cuz I miss u loads....

I'm very happy to see you have done so well and are happy.

K,

Please make more of an effort. You’re starting to lose me here.

You have been apart of this family for 30 years, how did none of us see you for what you are is beyond me! Why do this? What ever about going behind your wifes back, which is disgusting btw, but to do it to your daughter too. Youre a sneaky, horrible little sh!t as is your ugly new woman. Does her husband know? I doubt it as she just posted a picture the other day of their wedding after party and commented about what a great night it was, You both deserve each other.
Oh how I would love to tell her husband!