I want to die

GoneHome wrote: »

So very sorry for your loss, we lost our cat (Jackie - male) four years ago this month, we were devastated (he was knocked down by a car on our rural road which barely has any traffic and he was always indoors so it came as an awful shock), we buried him in a corner of the garden (put a tin of his favourite food in the box with him and planted a lovely tree on his grave a few weeks later), I'm getting emotional now even typing this again. Anyway, for two years despite many offers of cats and kittens we just couldn't face having another cat, such was our devastation at the loss of Jackie, then two years ago we came across this little kitten on the road, lost and forlone, barley four weeks old, her mother (a feral cat) having been killed by a fox out in the field near our house as we discovered later, we couldn't but take her in, brought her to the vet and syringed feed for for the next few weeks as she was so young, she's two years old next month and our little sweetheart, we'll never forget Jackie but little Dottie has us wrapped around her little paw.

Such a lovely heartwarming story. Utter heartbreak at the loss of little Jackie and the sudden,tragic manner of the loss. But so sweet the way you took in and came to love little Dottie.

Thinking of you dragona.x

My heart goes out to you. Its really tough when we loose our furry friends. Not many realise how much they mean to us. Just 2 weeks ago my dog died he was 12 years old. He was getting tests for a mass in his chest and came back home from the vet. But he didn't look good although we thought it was the anaesthesia and maybe he was still tired from that. He was vomiting too and very tired, even though he wasn't well gave me a smile and then the next morning he passed away in his bed. I wish that I didn't book the appointment for the tests now. Maybe he would still be with us.

acequion wrote: »

Am so sorry for your loss PinkLady. Please don't beat yourself up over those tests as you were only doing what any loving owner would do and his time had most likely come. In fact be thankful that you were spared the heartbreaking decision of getting him put to sleep. Hugs to you.x

Yes true at least he went in his own time rather that big decision. Which I was dreading to do. I think the anaesthetic was too much for him. The vet said that if it was his dog he would have done the tests to find out what the problem was which made me decide to do them, but in hindsight it probably was a bad idea.

It takes a couple of weeks to get the ashes back, no idea why. But it’s soon enough really because it sets you back initially but it’s really comforting, I can’t put it into words but you will find out what I mean,

I had to make the heartbreaking decision today to say goodbye to a much loved friend,my dog Daisy.

She was a stray that wandered into my life and has been a good friend for the last 13 years.

Sleep tight,I love you.

junkyarddog wrote: »

I had to make the heartbreaking decision today to say goodbye to a much loved friend,my dog Daisy.

She was a stray that wandered into my life and has been a good friend for the last 13 years.

Sleep tight,I love you.

So very sorry junkyarddog to hear of your sad loss. A heartbreaking decision but I hope the fact that you were brave enough to make the right decision will comfort you. Look after yourself.

PinkLady2016 wrote: »

I was told if I wanted the ashes back for my dog it would cost €200 and my dog would be cremated with others so it may not be all of his ashes. Not sure how true this is.

We had two cats cremated in recent years, done & paid for via the veterinary practice with the crematorium. We were told it would be individual cremation and certified. The vet took the details, urn type etc. I think it was around €120 each incl. urn.

Graces7 wrote: »

ouch. I think i saw that too once re mixed ashes. so sorry as I know how hard it is for townsfolk to bury pets. I once snuck out into a forest with a dog in the early hours for that reason. Easy enough...

Needless to say there have been flowers and plants atop .

The worst thing was that my beloved cat died the day after we buried the dog but the earth was still loose enough .

That sounds really awful for you Graces,the two dying so close in time. You poor thing. Were they sudden deaths?

Graces7 wrote: »

Dog fell suddenly ill. By weds I knew it was serious and got meds but Friday she died in my arms. She was 14. Half JRT and the vet said they are prone to heart failure

My most beloved cat was old too; started hiding when dog was ill and i thought she was just upset at dog now being in the bedroom. After the burial and she too died in my arms.

sitting here fighting tears. all too much to let in at one go. I look at the grave in disbelief

It taught me to renew. All my pets except Jacob were much the same age. Now I have youngsters as well as the twin of the cat who died. He gets watched like a hawk. Loves it!

and the new trio are a healing in their quirks and delights.

It had been many years since losing any pet for me. Got complacent

That's so sad Graces. You poor thing,it must have been terribly upsetting for you. Please don't fight the tears,they're natural and they're healing.

The problem with increasing age for both man and beast is that it's getting into borrowed time. And I don't mean you,Graces as late 70's is not that old. My mother is 88 and I really see old age kicking in lately. Likewise with our beloved pets. I think from about age 11 on we have to be on the look out. My beloved little cat that died 19 years ago was also 14. Like yours she died in my arms. It's heartbreaking and you really have to cry and cry until there are no tears left and then maybe you're ready to start healing.

But fair play to you for adopting the little young ones. The idea of them following you on your walks on that idyllic island is just so very sweet. It's like something you'd see in a painting.

dragona wrote: »

Why wouldn't the death of my pet have a huge impact???

I came to rely on *an animal* because I am mostly alone. I have a family, husband works all hours and I am alone basically from 3pm onwards until the next morning.

I do not work outside the home due to illness, and I do not need to justify my feelings.

My children are in Uni and have their own lives. Judy was my company and my companion.

I have friends, none of whom have pet animals, so they DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I am feeling devastated, but I will cope, and I am coping, it is just very hard at the moment. I have lost an adored dog before, so I know it is possible, just need the time.

When I say I hate everyone, I really mean my husband at the moment for making me feel bad. It's fine. I will get over it, I have to. My neighbour just smiled and said get another dog. Really.

I'll be ok eventually.

I understand where you're coming from dragona. I too am quite alone, much more alone than you and very much rely on my cat for love. In an ideal world we wouldn't rely on our pets so much. In a by gone age,not even so far past, people had more time for each other and jobs were far less stressful.Nowadays the world is more than a little crazy and life is very stressful and many people don't have the time or the patience to give their loved ones the comfort and love needed, hence the over reliance on pets.

But I do agree with the poster who said you need some counselling. It would give you an outlet for this enormous grief and help give you some perspective. Please do consider it dragona. Otherwise you could find yourself sinking into a serious depression and you don't want to go there. Mental health really is wealth and yours seems fragile right now.

Please don't be annoyed with me for saying this. I find myself very touched by your story because it could be mine, it could be any of ours. And I really want you to be ok.x

Dragona, every one grieves in their own way, there are no right and wrong ways. You dont have to feel guilty.

My Mum's brother died last year. Her other brother had been his carer and was heartbroken. . My Mum and her sister were trying to console the remaing brother as he had lived with Dan , but to no avail, he was so angry in his grief, depressed, lashing out at the others and nothing they said was right.

I remember it came to a head when my Mum said something and was turned on. She snapped and reprimanded him for speaking to her like that. He cried and screamed "My brother died" My Mum burst out crying and sobbed " but he was my brother too". My uncle was stopped in his tracks. I remember this as a turning point and him realising they were there for him but had their own grief too.

You husband had his own relationship with Judy, albeit different frim yours and is also grieving. It clearly also distresses him seeing you so bereft and the yelling is a symptom of that. This is a build up of a situation that is outside everyones control, no one can fix it, no one can bring her back and that in itself is hard to accept for all.

Try to focus on the positive, you had a great 11 years with Judy. Many people go through life never knowing the love if a dog like you have. That is the gift she brought you. Judy would not want to see you all so sad.