School starting age - going around in circles

Match seems to be the cut off point these days. So he’ll either be one of the youngest or one of the oldest. We’ve a May baby and no thoughts of sending when he’s 4. I don’t think the school would even take him. But March is just on the cusp when they might. So up to you really. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here.

I would wait. The yard is like the wild Wild West!!! More politics than Leinster House
With coronavirus this year too they missed so much.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Often wondered how my life would be like if I hadn't started school the day I turned 4. I did transition year and was still in uni at 17. Graduated a level 8 degree and was in a good job before my 21st birthday.

I think it was a terrible choice by my parents. I was physically small anyway and then being mentally young just left me being the baby through till the end of secondary really. Everyone always felt bigger and older. I'd never send my children to school of they were gonna be young.

Same. Started day after I turned 4. Didn't do TY. Was 16 for the first couple of weeks of university. Was intelligent enough to do it but definitely not mature enough and it only really showed in university. I was clever enough to manage the course but not mature enough to manage college, work and socialising and living out of home. It was too much, I fell behind and dropped out.

OP my own child was 4 at start of March and started that September. Similarly his Montessori were encouraging me to send him as they were afraid he would get bored.
He did TY and is now in leaving cert and turned 18 this year. Being on the younger end of the class never did him any harm.
However he is still a bit naïve. So for college he's going to live on campus until he finds his feet. And he's going to a college that's only an hour away. He's more comfortable with that.
I don't think any of that is to do with his age though. Some is his personality and some is (I think) due to covid as when he should have been starting to get independent and working and socialising his job was gone and lockdown happened so he hasn't really gotten the chance to mature that much in the last couple of years.

It is such a tough one. My boy turned 4 at the end of January and even though it is now too late to even apply for him to start primary in September, I am agonising over whether I've made the right choice to keep him a second year in ECCE.

He is very clever, super sociable, and loves pre school. But he is a bit like an excited puppy - he isn't great at staying with one task for long, he has zero interest in drawing or colouring or other desk-based tasks, and he feels such a strong love for all his friends but gets upset if they don't want to play with him.

My mum is an early years teacher and she advised holding off, on the premise that it is better to be the oldest in the class than one of the youngest. His pre school is fantastic and I know he will get on well there for a second year, especially after missing that time in lockdown. If I hold him there for the two years, his younger brother will be just one school year behind him and I think that will be nice for them to attend ECCE together (and be easier for me). And of course, those difficult teenage years of tough choices and harsh criticism... I'd rather he was a little bit older for that too.

So on balance, I am glad to be keeping him back. But at the same time, he has several little friends who are younger than him and starting school this September, and their parents have seemed surprised when I told them that we were keeping him back. So I'm still questioning!

Only time will tell. But I've not heard stories of people regretting starting their kids later.

Interesting one! We've a May baby and are also expecting a July baby. We're the durex 2percent apparently I probably would have sent the July baby at 5 anyway, but been in two minds about our May girl... So looks like holding off til both 5 probably... I was born in September so started bang on at 5 but I remember there were many in my year who were 4, and also being a tall child, I always felt too "overgrown" for my class

I dont think you can "work" on immaturity.

Its not JI that should be your concern its further down the line. There isn't a huge difference in JI or indeed in primary school. Its not untill secondary school that you will start to see the divide and unfortunately there is little to be done to narrow it.

My son was 4&3 months when he started primary. He is now in 3rd year and he is the youngest in his 2 main friend groups and one of the youngest in his year. His friends have all turned 16 in the last couple of months and he has yet to turn 15. That year in JI - 6th class wasnt even noticeable. But that year now is huge.

Plus i think the fact that they have a cut off now for ECCE, ie: all babies born after 31st December must wait until the following Sept to avail of the scheme, is deciding for us.
Life is different for children these days (and I'm thinking ahead to the teenage years) so having an older wiser head on their shoulders will hopefully be a good thing.

And just to add i have taught in the senior end of primary school and have had a full 12 months between March babies. The difference between them was like night and day. The younger was more able academically but crumpled into a ball at the drop of a hat.

dr_funkenstein wrote: »

Hi all,

I know this topic comes up repeatedly (and I have read older threads) but I'm going around in circles and would really love some input.

Our son just turned 4 in early March and we had originally thought to send him to Junior Infants at 5.5yrs old. The montesorri he is currently at tell us they think he is ready to start JI at 4.5yrs old assuming we work on his resiliency (see below). I've asked them a few times if he's welcome to stay another year but they're being very evasive and have mentioned he may end up being bored. We understand these concerns but feel like we need to justify to them why 5.5yrs old.

He comes across as bright, gets involved, made friends and plays well. He is however prone to crying if things don't go his way which the montesorri say is down to immaturity. We're fine to work on this with him but can't shake the feeling he would be better equipped for big school next year. Talking to the big school, he wouldn't be the youngest (10 younger) if he starts in September.

I'm very confused Did anyone regret sending their Feb/March/April child at 5.5yrs old? Everyone is telling us later but the montesorri & school seem to think it'd be OK.

Thanks!

You’ve already had loads of responses but thought I’d contribute my thoughts as a preschool teacher.

Since the 2 years of ECCE has been brought in, there has been a visible change in my local area anyway of children being sent to school as close to 5 years old as possible, if not 5 already. There is a massive massive jump for children between an ECCE setting and Junior Infants, and not just academically.

In my opinion I would hold off sending a child until they’ve turned 5 up to a February birthdate. The main things Junior Infants teachers tell us children starting can find difficult is the self-care skills, emotional regulation and then the ability to follow the academic curriculum. Is your child able to identify their coat/jumper etc in a pile on coat hooks, can they take off and put on their coats independently, including zips/buttons etc, can they open and close their lunchboxes/tin foil/plastic wrappers etc from their lunch items themselves, can they go to the toilet independently, remember to wipe properly and wash their hands properly when they’re finished? All these things are tasks that preschool teachers are hands-on in assisting with in an ECCE-setting, but a primary school teacher does not have the time nor requirement of them to do in a busy Junior Infant class of up to 28/30 children.

In terms of emotional regulation and social skills, we have found in our experience the older the better when moving to primary school. Is your child confident enough in themselves to ask for help with something or tell the teacher when they don’t understand a concept they’re learning about, when they feel unwell, can they speak up for themselves in the yard if another child is hurting them?

In my opinion and experience it’s far better for a child to be one of the oldest in the class than one of the youngest for all the reasons above. Something else to mention which I only learned a few years ago myself. Our preschool was part of a pilot project with SLT/OT services and had several trainings with them in each area for age-appropriate developmental skills etc. They both said that the Junior Infant curriculum is actually set for a 5 year old, not a 4 and a bit year old. Both my children are December babies and went to school when they were 4 and 8 months but had they been born in the early months of the year we would’ve held off until they were 5 years old.

To address what your child’s preschool said about them possibly being bored if they stayed another year, have they already done two years and this would be a third? Again in my experience, because preschools follow a flexible child-led curriculum where they follow a child’s ability levels and interest levels, there really is no reason for them to be “bored” in preschool as the thjngs they learn about are adapted to suit their level of interest and developmental needs.

Hope this is of some help and best of luck with your decision.

My daughter is an April bday and she went to school at 5.5 and no way was she too old. My son is a September bday and I often think that a few months would have stood to him. But fair enough 6 would be too old. Was only talking about this with work colleagues this week and a girl who sent her son at 4.5 really regrets and school are encouraging her to hold him back a year. In my opinion any child born after Xmas should wait til they gone 5 for school

dr_funkenstein wrote: »

Hi all,

I know this topic comes up repeatedly (and I have read older threads) but I'm going around in circles and would really love some input.

Our son just turned 4 in early March and we had originally thought to send him to Junior Infants at 5.5yrs old. The montesorri he is currently at tell us they think he is ready to start JI at 4.5yrs old assuming we work on his resiliency (see below). I've asked them a few times if he's welcome to stay another year but they're being very evasive and have mentioned he may end up being bored. We understand these concerns but feel like we need to justify to them why 5.5yrs old.

He comes across as bright, gets involved, made friends and plays well. He is however prone to crying if things don't go his way which the montesorri say is down to immaturity. We're fine to work on this with him but can't shake the feeling he would be better equipped for big school next year. Talking to the big school, he wouldn't be the youngest (10 younger) if he starts in September.

I'm very confused Did anyone regret sending their Feb/March/April child at 5.5yrs old? Everyone is telling us later but the montesorri & school seem to think it'd be OK.

Thanks!

I went to school at 4, secondary at 12 and university at 17, all worked out fine. My younger brother was a few months younger when he started, and was also fine. Next door neighbor was the same age and waited another year and he was a bit bored at times.

My February daughter was ready to go at 4 and is loving it.

I've heard of parents regretting that they sent their 4 year old to school. Never heard any parents regretting that they kept their child until age 5 before sending them.