School starting age - going around in circles

dr_funkenstein · 22-04-2021 10:20pm #1

Hi all,

I know this topic comes up repeatedly (and I have read older threads) but I'm going around in circles and would really love some input.

Our son just turned 4 in early March and we had originally thought to send him to Junior Infants at 5.5yrs old. The montesorri he is currently at tell us they think he is ready to start JI at 4.5yrs old assuming we work on his resiliency (see below). I've asked them a few times if he's welcome to stay another year but they're being very evasive and have mentioned he may end up being bored. We understand these concerns but feel like we need to justify to them why 5.5yrs old.

He comes across as bright, gets involved, made friends and plays well. He is however prone to crying if things don't go his way which the montesorri say is down to immaturity. We're fine to work on this with him but can't shake the feeling he would be better equipped for big school next year. Talking to the big school, he wouldn't be the youngest (10 younger) if he starts in September.

I'm very confused

Did anyone regret sending their Feb/March/April child at 5.5yrs old? Everyone is telling us later but the montesorri & school seem to think it'd be OK.

Thanks!

Big Bag of Chips · 22-04-2021 11:06pm

Boys, generally are better off being closer to 5. You need to think further than primary school. My daughter started at just turned 4 (June). She breezed through primary school. Never had an issue. She was 12 starting first year and that's when I noticed her age.

She wasn't fully ready for the whole teenage aspect of secondary school at just turned 12. Yet she would have probably seemed 'too old' for 6th class at that point.

You can only judge your own personal situation and you know your child better than anyone else.

JPup · 22-04-2021 11:11pm

Match seems to be the cut off point these days. So he’ll either be one of the youngest or one of the oldest. We’ve a May baby and no thoughts of sending when he’s 4. I don’t think the school would even take him. But March is just on the cusp when they might. So up to you really. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here.

lazygal · 23-04-2021 6:35am

Don't think about primary school. Think about the age for secondary school and leaving cert, college, apprenticeship etc.
I don't see any need to start a child in a hurry. Boy or girl.
The ecce programme is designed for two years so no preschool or Montessori should let a child be bored. Ridiculous reason to send a child to school too early.

Pawwed Rig · 23-04-2021 6:45am

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Boys, generally are better off being closer to 5.

Genuine questions- Is there data on this or is it an opinion?

We had a March boy aswell and were agonising over the same issue OP. He was smart enough for school but his maturity was not quite there. In the end we bowed to the opinion of the creche who said he was ready and sent him at 4 and a half. He is one of the brightest in his class and he is taller than average. Not to say there hasn't been some issues but 3 years later we think we made the right decision.
Our girl was a May baby and she will be 5 starting school.
You know your child but bear in mind that the creche have known many many children so are more experienced than you or me will ever be. The question is whether you have faith in their opinion.

If we were to do it again we would be having our babies in September as decisions would have been alot easier :pac:

Pawwed Rig · 23-04-2021 6:48am

JPup wrote: »

Match seems to be the cut off point these days. So he’ll either be one of the youngest or one of the oldest. We’ve a May baby and no thoughts of sending when he’s 4. I don’t think the school would even take him. But March is just on the cusp when they might. So up to you really. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here.

We were offered a place last year when our May baby was 4. We deferred it but it largely depends on the demand in a school. There are no rules about cut off dates nationally

23-04-2021 6:50am

Often wondered how my life would be like if I hadn't started school the day I turned 4. I did transition year and was still in uni at 17. Graduated a level 8 degree and was in a good job before my 21st birthday.

I think it was a terrible choice by my parents. I was physically small anyway and then being mentally young just left me being the baby through till the end of secondary really. Everyone always felt bigger and older. I'd never send my children to school of they were gonna be young.

Princess Calla · 23-04-2021 6:54am

We had the same issue.

There's a few primary school teachers in the extended family and we asked their opinion, as we too were going around in circles, they all said don't start before 5.

So we held off and started at 5 turning 6 in April.

I honestly still don't know if that's right or wrong, they are not the oldest in the class anyway.

The one thing I notice is we've never had a problem getting them into school in the morning....I see tears from some of the "younger" kids and we definitely had tears going into the ecce class , so maybe there's abit more emotional maturity or maybe they are just happier.

For us though it was secondary school we didn't want them being the youngest of their peer group.

Millem · 23-04-2021 6:55am

I would wait. The yard is like the wild Wild West!!! More politics than Leinster House

With coronavirus this year too they missed so much.

YellowLead · 23-04-2021 6:58am

My son had a March birthday and I sent him to school at 4.5. He’s now in 5th year - just gone 17 and all of his friends are 18 (and can buy alcohol!). He struggled a little on the football team physically at first because he wanted to be with his friends and so joined the group of those born a year earlier than him - they were always bigger and burlier than him.
Boys generally mature later than girls and I always felt was was like a huge baby starting secondary and for the first few years. Even academically - he’s only starting to be mature enough to study independently now and I think being that bit older doing the leaving and starting college is always a good idea. Though I have to say transition year is a good send, so at least he will be 18 starting college.
He was very mature at 4 - friendly, independent and past many of his peers development and academic wise - so I was happy to send him early. But I wish I had waited! It’s a tough choice to make, go with your own gut despite advice of the school.

CivilCybil · 23-04-2021 7:04am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Often wondered how my life would be like if I hadn't started school the day I turned 4. I did transition year and was still in uni at 17. Graduated a level 8 degree and was in a good job before my 21st birthday.

I think it was a terrible choice by my parents. I was physically small anyway and then being mentally young just left me being the baby through till the end of secondary really. Everyone always felt bigger and older. I'd never send my children to school of they were gonna be young.

Same. Started day after I turned 4. Didn't do TY. Was 16 for the first couple of weeks of university. Was intelligent enough to do it but definitely not mature enough and it only really showed in university. I was clever enough to manage the course but not mature enough to manage college, work and socialising and living out of home. It was too much, I fell behind and dropped out.

OP my own child was 4 at start of March and started that September. Similarly his Montessori were encouraging me to send him as they were afraid he would get bored.
He did TY and is now in leaving cert and turned 18 this year. Being on the younger end of the class never did him any harm.
However he is still a bit naïve. So for college he's going to live on campus until he finds his feet. And he's going to a college that's only an hour away. He's more comfortable with that.
I don't think any of that is to do with his age though. Some is his personality and some is (I think) due to covid as when he should have been starting to get independent and working and socialising his job was gone and lockdown happened so he hasn't really gotten the chance to mature that much in the last couple of years.

fits · 23-04-2021 12:37pm

Go with your gut OP. I initially wanted to keep one of my December boys another year but actually I know he is ready for September so on he goes.

catrionanic · 23-04-2021 1:00pm

It is such a tough one. My boy turned 4 at the end of January and even though it is now too late to even apply for him to start primary in September, I am agonising over whether I've made the right choice to keep him a second year in ECCE.

He is very clever, super sociable, and loves pre school. But he is a bit like an excited puppy - he isn't great at staying with one task for long, he has zero interest in drawing or colouring or other desk-based tasks, and he feels such a strong love for all his friends but gets upset if they don't want to play with him.

My mum is an early years teacher and she advised holding off, on the premise that it is better to be the oldest in the class than one of the youngest. His pre school is fantastic and I know he will get on well there for a second year, especially after missing that time in lockdown. If I hold him there for the two years, his younger brother will be just one school year behind him and I think that will be nice for them to attend ECCE together (and be easier for me). And of course, those difficult teenage years of tough choices and harsh criticism... I'd rather he was a little bit older for that too.

So on balance, I am glad to be keeping him back. But at the same time, he has several little friends who are younger than him and starting school this September, and their parents have seemed surprised when I told them that we were keeping him back. So I'm still questioning!

Only time will tell. But I've not heard stories of people regretting starting their kids later.

heldel00 · 23-04-2021 1:56pm

My daughter is January baby and is due to start ECCE this Sept. I am considering sending her to school at 5yr9months, as opposed to 4y9mo.
I am not even thinking about primary school but i feel being older will be advantageous in secondary. She's a tot of a thing (still wears 18-23 months in some clothes).
If she was to go in Sept 2022 after just one year of preschool she would have two little neighbours in her class that would be 8 and 9 months older. That is a lot in my opinion.
Plus i keep thinking of how much the world has and is changing so a year older might be of good help.
(Primary school teacher here btw)

Antares35 · 23-04-2021 2:02pm

Interesting one! We've a May baby and are also expecting a July baby. We're the durex 2percent apparently

I probably would have sent the July baby at 5 anyway, but been in two minds about our May girl... So looks like holding off til both 5 probably... I was born in September so started bang on at 5 but I remember there were many in my year who were 4, and also being a tall child, I always felt too "overgrown" for my class

Antares35 · 23-04-2021 2:02pm

heldel00 wrote: »

My daughter is January baby and is due to start ECCE this Sept. I am considering sending her to school at 5yr9months, as opposed to 4y9mo.
I am not even thinking about primary school but i feel being older will be advantageous in secondary. She's a tot of a thing (still wears 18-23 months in some clothes).
If she was to go in Sept 2022 after just one year of preschool she would have two little neighbours in her class that would be 8 and 9 months older. That is a lot in my opinion.
Plus i keep thinking of how much the world has and is changing so a year older might be of good help.
(Primary school teacher here btw)

8-9 months is a big gap at that age alright.

jrosen · 23-04-2021 2:07pm

I dont think you can "work" on immaturity.

Its not JI that should be your concern its further down the line. There isn't a huge difference in JI or indeed in primary school. Its not untill secondary school that you will start to see the divide and unfortunately there is little to be done to narrow it.

My son was 4&3 months when he started primary. He is now in 3rd year and he is the youngest in his 2 main friend groups and one of the youngest in his year. His friends have all turned 16 in the last couple of months and he has yet to turn 15. That year in JI - 6th class wasnt even noticeable. But that year now is huge.

feelings · 23-04-2021 2:16pm

Mine started at 5.5 years and do not regret it at all. He was not ready at 4.5.

Can I suggest you research comparisons of primary education from UK/Ireland to the likes of Sweden, Finland etc. There, they don't start primary school until age 7 (i believe this may have been dropped to 6 in Finland recently). Before age seven they focus more on unstructured play/learning.

heldel00 · 23-04-2021 2:26pm

Plus i think the fact that they have a cut off now for ECCE, ie: all babies born after 31st December must wait until the following Sept to avail of the scheme, is deciding for us.
Life is different for children these days (and I'm thinking ahead to the teenage years) so having an older wiser head on their shoulders will hopefully be a good thing.

And just to add i have taught in the senior end of primary school and have had a full 12 months between March babies. The difference between them was like night and day. The younger was more able academically but crumpled into a ball at the drop of a hat.

shesty · 23-04-2021 6:57pm

My daughter is a year ahead of your son...5 since very early April.The majority of her ECCE class will be going into Junior Infants in Sept aged 5.The youngest in the JI class will turn 5 in March of JI, a year younger than quite a few others in the class.

4.5 to 5 is very maturing, I have found with my 2 girls. She is now well ready for school, I can see it clearly.And interested in going.If I had sent her last September aged 4 and 5 months?No, she wouldn't have been nearly as ready (and she is my second child). She would have managed sure, but socially and emotionally it would have been a much bigger struggle.

She isn't really bored at the preschool, they keep them well entertained.And to be homest, any boredom would only really have set in around Jan I reckon, going on her age (4.5 in Oct) amd what I observed in my first girl.

I'd keep him back tbh, if he is your first and you aren't sure.You will find it very hard to keep him back a year further on, it generally is not allowed now.If they are telling you he needs to work on resilience, then it would seem to me that he isn't really ready.It isn't intellectually you need to look at it, it is coping with social skills, pople saying no to him, having to follow rules, maybe work on his own, all that stuff.The academic stuff is the "easy" bit in some ways, but the other stuff is much harder to help them with.

shesty · 23-04-2021 7:00pm

Antares35 wrote: »

Interesting one! We've a May baby and are also expecting a July baby. We're the durex 2percent apparently I probably would have sent the July baby at 5 anyway, but been in two minds about our May girl... So looks like holding off til both 5 probably... I was born in September so started bang on at 5 but I remember there were many in my year who were 4, and also being a tall child, I always felt too "overgrown" for my class

Hold off til 5.You would be lucky to find a school that would take a May baby at 4 tbh.They are very, very young still, too young for primary.

Purple Mountain · 23-04-2021 7:07pm

My boy was before the 2nd year ECCE and went at 4 (March also).
Now, he's in 1st year and I honestly think he's too young. He's not mature enough in my opinion to be in an environment with 18 year old and the long day (country commute into town) gets to him.
I've told him he's 100% doing TY.
I was even younger than him myself starting school. I was barely 17 doing my LC.
Definitely wasn't street smart ready to start 1st year at 12.5. I felt like a fish out of water coming from a very rural primary school.

Shybride2016 · 24-04-2021 12:02pm

dr_funkenstein wrote: »

Hi all,

I know this topic comes up repeatedly (and I have read older threads) but I'm going around in circles and would really love some input.

Our son just turned 4 in early March and we had originally thought to send him to Junior Infants at 5.5yrs old. The montesorri he is currently at tell us they think he is ready to start JI at 4.5yrs old assuming we work on his resiliency (see below). I've asked them a few times if he's welcome to stay another year but they're being very evasive and have mentioned he may end up being bored. We understand these concerns but feel like we need to justify to them why 5.5yrs old.

He comes across as bright, gets involved, made friends and plays well. He is however prone to crying if things don't go his way which the montesorri say is down to immaturity. We're fine to work on this with him but can't shake the feeling he would be better equipped for big school next year. Talking to the big school, he wouldn't be the youngest (10 younger) if he starts in September.

I'm very confused Did anyone regret sending their Feb/March/April child at 5.5yrs old? Everyone is telling us later but the montesorri & school seem to think it'd be OK.

Thanks!

You’ve already had loads of responses but thought I’d contribute my thoughts as a preschool teacher.

Since the 2 years of ECCE has been brought in, there has been a visible change in my local area anyway of children being sent to school as close to 5 years old as possible, if not 5 already. There is a massive massive jump for children between an ECCE setting and Junior Infants, and not just academically.

In my opinion I would hold off sending a child until they’ve turned 5 up to a February birthdate. The main things Junior Infants teachers tell us children starting can find difficult is the self-care skills, emotional regulation and then the ability to follow the academic curriculum. Is your child able to identify their coat/jumper etc in a pile on coat hooks, can they take off and put on their coats independently, including zips/buttons etc, can they open and close their lunchboxes/tin foil/plastic wrappers etc from their lunch items themselves, can they go to the toilet independently, remember to wipe properly and wash their hands properly when they’re finished? All these things are tasks that preschool teachers are hands-on in assisting with in an ECCE-setting, but a primary school teacher does not have the time nor requirement of them to do in a busy Junior Infant class of up to 28/30 children.

In terms of emotional regulation and social skills, we have found in our experience the older the better when moving to primary school. Is your child confident enough in themselves to ask for help with something or tell the teacher when they don’t understand a concept they’re learning about, when they feel unwell, can they speak up for themselves in the yard if another child is hurting them?

In my opinion and experience it’s far better for a child to be one of the oldest in the class than one of the youngest for all the reasons above. Something else to mention which I only learned a few years ago myself. Our preschool was part of a pilot project with SLT/OT services and had several trainings with them in each area for age-appropriate developmental skills etc. They both said that the Junior Infant curriculum is actually set for a 5 year old, not a 4 and a bit year old. Both my children are December babies and went to school when they were 4 and 8 months but had they been born in the early months of the year we would’ve held off until they were 5 years old.

To address what your child’s preschool said about them possibly being bored if they stayed another year, have they already done two years and this would be a third? Again in my experience, because preschools follow a flexible child-led curriculum where they follow a child’s ability levels and interest levels, there really is no reason for them to be “bored” in preschool as the thjngs they learn about are adapted to suit their level of interest and developmental needs.

Hope this is of some help and best of luck with your decision.

starlady1 · 24-04-2021 9:22pm

If he is prone to crying when things don't go his way, I would wait the year and give him time to mature.

He could be in a big class of 25+ other children and there will be alot of times he won't get his own way. Now having said that he may get used to not getting his own way very quickly and stop crying. You know your child best.

Lisha · 24-04-2021 9:38pm

My daughter is an April bday and she went to school at 5.5 and no way was she too old. My son is a September bday and I often think that a few months would have stood to him. But fair enough 6 would be too old. Was only talking about this with work colleagues this week and a girl who sent her son at 4.5 really regrets and school are encouraging her to hold him back a year. In my opinion any child born after Xmas should wait til they gone 5 for school

ax530 · 24-04-2021 10:38pm

An April child who started at 4, never crossed my mind at the time to wait another year until birthdays started and I realised lots in her class older ( 14 months difference) with 3 April birthdays the youngest. Anyhow haven't noticed any big issues as yet still in primary.
Others I've kept until gone 5.
Could it be that crèche want the place next year? Is it an option to move to another? I cannot understand the argument bored sure the crèche/ECC topics are broad and can be interesting to 5yo. I even learn things from stories/facts ECCE age child tells us after day &#55357;&#56834;

Pawwed Rig · 25-04-2021 8:43am

Lisha wrote: »

In my opinion any child born after Xmas should wait til they gone 5 for school

Depends on the child surely No?

From my personal experience I went to school at 5 but was streets ahead of the rest of the class academically. I found the whole of primary school excruciatingly boring as the pace of the curriculum was glacial. Once I got to secondary school I stopped engaging in a real way with the educational process and ended up with a fairly average leaving cert with no desire to do third level. My 20s were spent coasting until I finally decided to go back to college in my thirties.
I am no genius btw and while I accept that they were different times I still to this day wish I had been sent to school a year earlier. My life would have been completely different.

My advice to the OP - the people who know your child (you/creche/relatives) know best. There is no reason to wait if the child is ready.

joe40 · 25-04-2021 8:57am

Both my kids went to school at 4. Jan and very late Feb babies respectively. Now in secondary 5th year and 3rd both getting on fine.

If we had waited another year they would be doing LC at 19 (assuming TY year) which is a bit old in my view to be still at secondary school.

But ultimately it depends on the child.

The J Stands for Jay · 25-04-2021 8:57am

dr_funkenstein wrote: »

Hi all,

I know this topic comes up repeatedly (and I have read older threads) but I'm going around in circles and would really love some input.

Our son just turned 4 in early March and we had originally thought to send him to Junior Infants at 5.5yrs old. The montesorri he is currently at tell us they think he is ready to start JI at 4.5yrs old assuming we work on his resiliency (see below). I've asked them a few times if he's welcome to stay another year but they're being very evasive and have mentioned he may end up being bored. We understand these concerns but feel like we need to justify to them why 5.5yrs old.

He comes across as bright, gets involved, made friends and plays well. He is however prone to crying if things don't go his way which the montesorri say is down to immaturity. We're fine to work on this with him but can't shake the feeling he would be better equipped for big school next year. Talking to the big school, he wouldn't be the youngest (10 younger) if he starts in September.

I'm very confused Did anyone regret sending their Feb/March/April child at 5.5yrs old? Everyone is telling us later but the montesorri & school seem to think it'd be OK.

Thanks!

I went to school at 4, secondary at 12 and university at 17, all worked out fine. My younger brother was a few months younger when he started, and was also fine. Next door neighbor was the same age and waited another year and he was a bit bored at times.

My February daughter was ready to go at 4 and is loving it.

99nsr125 · 25-04-2021 9:02am

dr_funkenstein wrote: »

Hi all,

I know this topic comes up repeatedly (and I have read older threads) but I'm going around in circles and would really love some input.

Our son just turned 4 in early March and we had originally thought to send him to Junior Infants at 5.5yrs old. The montesorri he is currently at tell us they think he is ready to start JI at 4.5yrs old assuming we work on his resiliency (see below). I've asked them a few times if he's welcome to stay another year but they're being very evasive and have mentioned he may end up being bored. We understand these concerns but feel like we need to justify to them why 5.5yrs old.

He comes across as bright, gets involved, made friends and plays well. He is however prone to crying if things don't go his way which the montesorri say is down to immaturity. We're fine to work on this with him but can't shake the feeling he would be better equipped for big school next year. Talking to the big school, he wouldn't be the youngest (10 younger) if he starts in September.

I'm very confused Did anyone regret sending their Feb/March/April child at 5.5yrs old? Everyone is telling us later but the montesorri & school seem to think it'd be OK.

Thanks!

5 plus but must be 5

Sunrise_Sunset · 25-04-2021 9:31am

I've heard of parents regretting that they sent their 4 year old to school. Never heard any parents regretting that they kept their child until age 5 before sending them.

Big Bag of Chips · 25-04-2021 11:03am

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Genuine questions- Is there data on this or is it an opinion?

Loads of studies done to show girls (generally) mature earlier than boys.

Pawwed Rig · 25-04-2021 12:02pm

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Loads of studies done to show girls (generally) mature earlier than boys.

I would be interested in reading one that refers to school attendance if you know of one. I am always wary of accepted truths like that. Not saying you are wrong but my guess is that any study on this would be on average. The OP's child may not fall within the averages so the advice may not be applicable in this case. This is why the OP should take the advice of those who know her child imho

bee06 · 25-04-2021 2:58pm

Lisha wrote: »

My daughter is an April bday and she went to school at 5.5 and no way was she too old. My son is a September bday and I often think that a few months would have stood to him. But fair enough 6 would be too old. Was only talking about this with work colleagues this week and a girl who sent her son at 4.5 really regrets and school are encouraging her to hold him back a year. In my opinion any child born after Xmas should wait til they gone 5 for school

Unfortunately it’s not really that straight forward. My 3 year old is an end of Dec baby. He started ECCE at 2 and 8 months and will have his 2 years done at 4 and 8 months. I don’t really think keeping him at home or paying for a third year is the right thing to do but am worried he’ll be too young starting at 4 and 8 months. The prescriptive year based approach of the ECCE is a pain to be honest.

BonsaiKitten · 25-04-2021 3:24pm

As a primary teacher, I've yet to see a child that started school too late. However, I've seen plenty that started too young...and it's very noticeable as they move up the school. Keep him back a year.

fits · 25-04-2021 3:38pm

bee06 wrote: »

Unfortunately it’s not really that straight forward. My 3 year old is an end of Dec baby. He started ECCE at 2 and 8 months and will have his 2 years done at 4 and 8 months. I don’t really think keeping him at home or paying for a third year is the right thing to do but am worried he’ll be too young starting at 4 and 8 months. The prescriptive year based approach of the ECCE is a pain to be honest.

Completely agree with this. With my twins one is starting at 4,8 and the other at 5,8. He gets an overage exemption due to diagnosis but if they’d been born when they were due two weeks later both would have been entitled to another year. It’s probably working out the best for us but my initial hopes would have been for both to be starting after they turned five.

RentDayBlues · 25-04-2021 5:43pm

My youngest started at 5.5, February baby. We had planned to send at 4.5 but school was oversubscribed and cut off was early January so we didn’t get in. Best thing that happened - she’s not the oldest in the class now but maturity wise it has stood to her, especially given the breaks in term of the last year. There are children in the class 15 months younger than her and you can tell - and as they get older it will become more of an issue. 50% of her class will be 19 doing leaving cert if you include TY - so it’s becoming more and more common

Lisha · 25-04-2021 6:25pm

bee06 wrote: »

Unfortunately it’s not really that straight forward. My 3 year old is an end of Dec baby. He started ECCE at 2 and 8 months and will have his 2 years done at 4 and 8 months. I don’t really think keeping him at home or paying for a third year is the right thing to do but am worried he’ll be too young starting at 4 and 8 months. The prescriptive year based approach of the ECCE is a pain to be honest.

Yes I agree the ecce has made it more complicated.
I started mine at Playschool taking that into account. Which is more difficult for people especially if they use crèches. As the crèche might put them into Playschool automatically.

It all depends on your child and each child is different and also depends on the school. Ours is a small country school with 2or3classes per teacher. So I felt the older mine were the better. That’s just my opinion I’m not saying anyone is right or wrong and I did what I felt was best in our circumstances.
Then I know people in bigger one class per teacher schools and it’s less important there. Their younger aged children have thrived.

Best of luck to you, it’s not easy making decisions .
And to be honest every day brings different challenges and it’s so hard. We are all doing our best and we all question ourselves every day. But all we can do is try. The one thing I felt helped my children was being involved in their after school activities and having their friends over as much as we could. Well now COVID has p’ed all over that so all I can say is once our children have people who care for them then that’s the foundation they need and we must cross our fingers after that.

So I’m never answering his question again. No offense meant.

Lisha · 25-04-2021 6:27pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Depends on the child surely No?

From my personal experience I went to school at 5 but was streets ahead of the rest of the class academically. I found the whole of primary school excruciatingly boring as the pace of the curriculum was glacial. Once I got to secondary school I stopped engaging in a real way with the educational process and ended up with a fairly average leaving cert with no desire to do third level. My 20s were spent coasting until I finally decided to go back to college in my thirties.
I am no genius btw and while I accept that they were different times I still to this day wish I had been sent to school a year earlier. My life would have been completely different.

My advice to the OP - the people who know your child (you/creche/relatives) know best. There is no reason to wait if the child is ready.

Yes completely depends on the child. I was just offering my experience which is what I thought the op was asking for.

Nekarsulm · 25-04-2021 6:31pm

We were supposed to send our girl at 4 years, 4 months.
At the last minute we changed our mind, so she started National school at 5 years, 5 months.
Never regretted it, she's 2nd year in Secondry school now.
Will have a driving licence before the end of transition year....

Big Bag of Chips · 25-04-2021 6:31pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Not saying you are wrong but my guess is that any study on this would be on average.

Like every study ever conducted!
A study based specifically on school attendance/performance would also be on average. Pre-school teachers, who deal exclusively with 3-5 years old are generally the only ones I hear telling a parent to send them early. Primary school teachers who deal with 4-13 year old in general will advise waiting until close to 5 where possible. And a montessori school should be able to cater for a child without them becoming bored.

My 4+2 month girl started junior infants. She breezed through primary, socially, academically, was very capable with the practical side of things. She was over a year younger than many of her classmates. At parent teacher meetings teachers weren't really aware of this. She absolutely held her own and was above average when it came to school work. All through primary I had no regrets.

Secondary school is proving a bit more difficult, as I don't think at 12+2 months she was able for the big step from small, innocent primary to much bigger, much more "teenagey" secondary school. She's still quite innocent, and naieve (as she should be). She's not quite "there" yet with wanting to have boyfriends/girlfriends and there is peer pressure on that score! She was fine starting primary. I couldn't imagine holding her for another year until she was 5. But I really wish there was a 7th class, where she didn't have to start secondary until she turned 13!

The OP came asking opinions based on others people's experiences and opinion. If he just wanted to take the advice of the people who know his child he wouldn't have posted!

joebloggs32 · 25-04-2021 6:35pm

dr_funkenstein wrote: »

Hi all,

I know this topic comes up repeatedly (and I have read older threads) but I'm going around in circles and would really love some input.

Our son just turned 4 in early March and we had originally thought to send him to Junior Infants at 5.5yrs old. The montesorri he is currently at tell us they think he is ready to start JI at 4.5yrs old assuming we work on his resiliency (see below). I've asked them a few times if he's welcome to stay another year but they're being very evasive and have mentioned he may end up being bored. We understand these concerns but feel like we need to justify to them why 5.5yrs old.

He comes across as bright, gets involved, made friends and plays well. He is however prone to crying if things don't go his way which the montesorri say is down to immaturity. We're fine to work on this with him but can't shake the feeling he would be better equipped for big school next year. Talking to the big school, he wouldn't be the youngest (10 younger) if he starts in September.

I'm very confused Did anyone regret sending their Feb/March/April child at 5.5yrs old? Everyone is telling us later but the montesorri & school seem to think it'd be OK.

Thanks!

My girl was late March but we sent her. Best thing we ever did.
She was more than able and since 1st class gets extra tasks to do as she is ahead of most of her classmates despite only one child being younger than her, and a few of them at least a year older.
No two children are the same. No reason why a kid should be held back purely by the exact date on their birth cert. Some are more than capable at 4.5 years.
When i was growing up I was in school with a lad who was just 4 in July. His parents sent him in and by the time he finished his leaving he hadn't turned 17, and had a BA completed before he turned 20.
Now as a teacher I have had a number students who have turned 20 just before sitting the leaving. I often think back to my old buddy who had his degree in the bag by then.

Millem · 25-04-2021 6:36pm

All the sports my Senior Infants son plays go by year of birth eg football, hurling, rugby and tennis. He started school at 5 years and 7 months. The handful of kids who didn’t take the extra year of ecce should be playing with Junior Infants. Some have changed their date of birth on paper so they can play with their friends.

Princess Calla · 25-04-2021 7:14pm

joebloggs32 wrote: »

Now as a teacher I have had a number students who have turned 20 just before sitting the leaving. I often think back to my old buddy who had his degree in the bag by then.

I think the introduction of the ecce scheme is bringing a "society shift" on school age.

Just like our parents would have finished school at 14, us finishing at 17/18 I think today's primary will be 19/20.

It will work out as it will be "the norm".

I think extra maturity in college is no harm either.

Pawwed Rig · 25-04-2021 7:21pm

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Like every study ever conducted!

Do you have an example of one though as I said I would be interested to read it and am wary about accepted truths? Googling just gives a hodge podge of opinion pieces which have little merit.

Big Bag of Chips · 25-04-2021 7:40pm

I haven't conducted any myself. Google brings up plenty of results if you want to read through.

All children are going to be different. And a particular 4 year old boy could be streets ahead maturity wise to a 5.5 year old girl in his class. So a study saying girls mature earlier than boys is going to be useless to that girl and boy.

The OP himself feels his own son could do with another year. I would think the parents would know their child far far better than a montessori teacher. I've had 4 children start junior infants all aged between 4+2 and 5+1 a mix of boys and girls. As it happened in my situation the girls were closer to 4, the boys closer to 5. Knowing my own children best I started them at the ages I felt were best for them.

My 4+2 daughter was absolutely 100% ready for junior infants. The same girl at 12+2 was a bit 'innocent' in 1st year, but again seems to be holding her own. I have a boy who started at 5, who will be 13 in first year in a few months and I honestly think he is STILL very immature, physically, emotionally. Missing so much of 5th and 6th class where the build up to secondary happens hasn't helped, but he won't be much different to every other child starting, I suppose.

OP, as mentioned numerous times, you are the one who knows your child best. You can take advice from all angles, but at the end of the day the final decision lies with you.

Edit: I haven't read the full report but here is a report published by Newcastle University in Cerebral Cortex. (Whatever that is!)

bbbaldy · 25-04-2021 7:53pm

Better to leave it later than sooner. Children can struggle going too soon , and for many years after.
You won't find many issues with a child starting a year later.
Go with the least chance of problems which is a late start.

El Gato De Negocios · 25-04-2021 9:31pm

My 2c.

Our boy turned 4 this month but there is no way in hell he would be ready for school in September so he will be 5.5 starting. He is very bright, excellent language skills, memory etc but he is definitely lacking in maturity. At the end of the day, he will be in school for long enough and we firmly believe that he will benefit long term. Its funny about the different attitudes with ECCE providers. The one he is in is completely against any child starting school before they get to 5 or damn near it.

Pawwed Rig · 25-04-2021 9:41pm

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Edit: I haven't read the full report but here is a report published by Newcastle University in Cerebral Cortex. (Whatever that is!)

Not much in that and it is a tiny sample size. As I said google just gives a hodge podge of opinion pieces. I will see if I can find anything concrete.

joe40 · 26-04-2021 12:46pm

If a child starts school at 5 yrs 6 months they will be 19yrs 6 months doing the leaving cert, which in my opinion is far too late. (Assuming they do TY) They will turn 18 and still have another year and a half in secondary school, where education is very structured.
In that instance I think it would be best to skip the TY year which would be a pity for many pupils.

lazygal · 26-04-2021 12:55pm

joe40 wrote: »

If a child starts school at 5 yrs 6 months they will be 19yrs 6 months doing the leaving cert, which in my opinion is far too late. (Assuming they do TY) They will turn 18 and still have another year and a half in secondary school, where education is very structured.
In that instance I think it would be best to skip the TY year which would be a pity for many pupils.

What's the rush though? Why is 19 and older too late to do the leaving cert? I did sixth year in a private college which had many people repeating the Lc and some were in their 20s.

School starting age - going around in circles

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