Child maintenance advice

StepMama wrote: »

Anyone?

I went and spoke to my ex and agreed with joint custody,I have my son 5/ 7 days,she gets children's welfare etc,now after 13 yes we're 50/50 on bills concerning him,im twice her age,Irish,no woman etc for years,I concentrate on him only,after year's of strife she realised that by talking one on one ,no solicitors etc can we move on,my only real advice is make sure he has access to overnight stays ref his kids as much as possible,his ex will eventually relaise where his priorities lie,and should cop the fcuk on ref maintenance etc,mine did

My partner pays €150 a week for his three children and splits all of the school costs.

redeye101 wrote: »

Hi ChrissieH,

Is there a mechanism to view the other persons’ ‘Statement of Means’ by application to court or was this by agreement by the solicitors beforehand?

Thanks!

This happens as normal in a family court hearing, any documents sent to the court for consideration must be shared with the other side and their solicitor (usually via their solicitor) in advance of the hearing.


It happened in my case (partner has 2 children from prior relationship) that documents that were presented in court that had not been shared with us beforehand, were not considered by the judge.

In the typical case of mother having custody and father getting kicked out, €50 a week per child in maintenance plus incidentals was the norm up until recently. Might have changed since to €60 or maybe even if €75.

Where father has custody (probably <1% of the time, I'd guess) I'm not sure how how it works. Undoubtedly the mother will pay a lot less than the father would be asked to pay. Equality me arse.

My advice, have your statement
of means done up and go to court, you'll unlikely work out any worse off anyway.

My ex husband has a full time job earning roughly €60,000 a year and looking to pay €35 maintenance a week for our son. Any advice very welcome as you can imagine my struggle

Confusedjon04s wrote: »

My ex husband has a full time job earning roughly €60,000 a year and looking to pay €35 maintenance a week for our son. Any advice very welcome as you can imagine my struggle

That's bloody scandalous if it was me now(I'm male BTW)
Get all your bills in order ref your son.
Receipts for heating
Food
Clothing
Travel
School (Inc uniform, books etc)
Your car insurance, maintenance and tax etc)
Rent or mortgage
Get up in front of a judge with these and keep going until you get a decent weekly sum, e35 doesen't rear a child these days

snor wrote: »

Does anyone know what maintenance would typically be awarded If someone is in receipt of social welfare and has minimal living Expense (living with family). Thank you.

Yes not much though AFAIK around e25 weekly

ELM327 wrote: »

It's not supposed to rear a child, it's supposed to pay 50% of the cost of the child. Certainly not things like funding the ex partner's mortgage.

It's the child's home whether rented or mortgage, obviously I didn't mean pay the whole thing but certainly a chunk towards it, it's his child and where do you think she's rearing him in the side of the road?

Child support, at its simplest, is meant to help with the “normal” expenses associated with raising a child. These normal expenses include food, shelter, transportation, clothing, and certain educational costs.

YellowLead wrote: »

We don’t know exactly what confused’s exact situation is - if the child is living with both parents half and half of the time for example.

True, but having went through the family court

it's a horrible experience but the bottom dollar is the child has to come first, and in the main I think this happens after all the stupid stuff stops I think most cop on and get their priorities in order,
it's still largely in favour of the woman bit getting more equitable, men get a bad rap but not all dodge their responsibilities

bcklschaps wrote: »

In the typical case of mother having custody and father getting kicked out, €50 a week per child in maintenance plus incidentals was the norm up until recently. Might have changed since to €60 or maybe even if €75.

Where father has custody (probably <1% of the time, I'd guess) I'm not sure how how it works. Undoubtedly the mother will pay a lot less than the father would be asked to pay. Equality me arse.

My advice, have your statement
of means done up and go to court, you'll unlikely work out any worse off anyway.

Before you go to court you have to have sworn affidavit of means etc so you need to have all your ducks on a row, some ppl screw their other half's which is horrible and drives some men to suicide as has happened within 6 miles of Cork City 2 days ago

Meeoow wrote: »

Why doesn't the father have primary care of the children in that case. If they own the house, they can provide a more stable home.

Because they will almost never be given primary care, that is almost without exception granted to the mother, and because they are very likely to have their home taken away from them.

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Fathers rarely seek primary care of the children, though it's often used as a threat. Those who actually do seek it quite often get it.

If a father seeks and gets primary care then its because the mother is seen to not be able to provide a stable home. Most fathers dont contest as they know well they haven't a chance in front of a judge

ELM327 wrote: »

It's not supposed to rear a child, it's supposed to pay 50% of the cost of the child. Certainly not things like funding the ex partner's mortgage.

Exactly, if one person wants out, then I dont see why the other person should take responsibility for the costs of the adult?? I agree they should take care of a share of the costs of their child, but as should the person who has primary care.
Id be happy to have primary care, but really, in any case, unless there is some issue of violence or neglect, there should be no reason why both parents cant get equal joint custody, blanket giving that to the mother is ridiculous, it diminishes the fathers right and role as a parent and it doesnt say or intend to mean anything good, it is just a reason to take him out of the equation other than as a financial provider.

HotMama89 wrote: »

I get 50 a week for one child and half of school costs nothing towards anything else father has custody one day a week has a full time job and no outgoings/car lives at home. This was an informal agreement and I could probably get more if I did go to court but I have a good job so can support myself so it’s just not worth the hassle but 50euro comes nowhere near the 50% of the costs of raising a child. I’d probably spend that alone feeding them for the 6 days I have them. I think the 75 your paying with half of all costs is very reasonable.

I cant tell if its one child or a few, you get 50 per child or 50 for one, you say child and mention that as plural and singular. Plus you get half of school costs? I dont see how that isnt reasonable, the father works fulltime and only has access one day a week? thats tough going imo, could you see your children 1 day a week??
You admit already you have a good job,



I think 50 for food for one child per week is more than adequate, thats half my outgoings for food for a family of 3, not much luxuries but not even purchasing in Lidl/Aldi anymore, not that I consider that a fault.

HotMama89 wrote: »

I didn’t say I couldn’t feed them on 50 euro I said it probably costs me close to that to feed them. And yes I would consider someone who chooses to live at home because they don’t have to contribute along with company provided transport and phone etc as having very little to no costs as opposed to a father who has rent & utilities and a car to keep on the road.

You more or less did, you stated

I’d probably spend that alone feeding them for the 6 days I have them, again plural, but the more children, there is a certain economy in buying food for more that it works out cheaper, I do the shopping predominantly in my house, so it just does, I know it.
What you're saying, is if you add 50 euro per child, plus their fathers, thats 100 per week, that that is not enough to feed them, let alone everything else?? I dont agree, thats 400 per month to feed 1 child,

50 might not be enough if you arent contributing, and to be fair, Im counting other costs, are you paying for those.
What other ongoing repetitive cost are you talking about? certain things once purchased last and dont necessarily need to be replaced soon, like clothes.
To make an accurate assessment you would need to say how many kids the 50/child occurs, Im not asking you and you dont have to say, but it would make it easier to understand where you're coming from.


Also, there is not zero cost to
"And yes I would consider someone who chooses to live at home because they don’t have to contribute along with company provided transport and phone etc as having very little to no costs"

depending on how many children you both have, 50/child adds up, you make it seem like they have a choice to live elsewhere, it sounds like the fatherlives at his parents, do you think a 30 or 40 something or whatever age the father is, wants to live away from his children to be with their parents at that age, there is no end or way out of that.
They may or may not contribute, but that is not a realistic scenario, if there were no parents around or nearby, then they would have to pay out a lot. Company transport comes with its own costs, BIK, and it may not always be available, likewise having a work phone, doesnt mean you dont have to have your own. Mostly because you have completely disregarded the health cost, anyone who says there is no emotional strain on a parent not to be with their children doesnt know what they are talking about, would you?

HotMama89 wrote: »

I have one child and get 50 euro for said child me or the father have no other children. The one day a week is by fathers choice. I pay all other costs school drop off and collection everyday done by me driving there, medical insurance dental and doctor xmas present costs, & holidays, majority of clothing costs, phone credit disney plus subscriptions down to the shampoo along with housing and utilities etc. So when you add all that up along with feeding child for the week then no I don't think it comes close to 50% of those costs.

You could also say there's an emotional strain on raising a child by yourself 6 days a week too with no support.

I'm not saying any amount is right or wrong everyones circumstances are different. I gave my opinion that 50 euro wasn't enough for my situation.

I dont know why you referred to one child as "them" in the plural 4 times?
Aside from which, I wouldnt consider phone credit, Disney subscription or holidays essentials, nice maybe. I would say its necessary to keep track of costs and see what they are, you dont think it comes close to 50%, you should find out, but you already said he pays half of school costs, whatever is involved there.

but 50 euro from each parent is 433 euro per month (plus 50% of school costs on top of that), I'd be astonished if that doesnt cover costs for a month for one child, unless you have some expensive bills for something in particular. IMO a lot depends on budgeting, I dont buy cheaper food or other things, but if I had to I would. As you say, one day a week is by the fathers choice, how much other time is there? I need a day to recover from my weeks work, for someone working mon-fri, there is only one day left to see their child if they need to/have to do anything else. I dont know what the person is on, but I cant imagine they have much left if they opt to live with their parents, either way, you mentioned you have a good job, for me I wouldnt be counting the petrol costs to drop off and collect from school in any tally, or why you mention utilities? what share would you expect from that? I know people that are very poor at managing finances/bills/even running the heating. Imo breakups arent good for anyone with children, but it looks like getting together with anyone, if you have children, and it ends, always goes bad for men.

snor wrote: »

My ex Has never taken the 2 day access he fought so hard to get. He has seen his children for a total of 11 hours in the past 12 months.

One man isn't the rule for every man out there, thats just representative of your case/example, Im sure we dont hear about the many men who make the effort.