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AA meetings?

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    #32
    Wolflikeme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Wolflikeme


    Shayman wrote: »
    While I'm not taking anything away from the OP, I don't agree with this thing of all the 'categories' - sociallly, emotionally, physically, mentally dependent - of Alcoholism. You're either dependent on it or you're not! If you are, admit it and try and do something about it and stop pussyfooting around it.

    Step 1 of AA: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

    It doesn't say in what way we were powerless. As I said before you either are or you are not!

    As Barack Obama said you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig!

    The highlighted part is irrelevant to your ridiculously stupid argument. So in other words, you'd have step to about 5 pages long?

    Regardless, you're completely wrong. It's a fact that people can be emotionally/psychologically dependent on alcohol, whether you agree or not! If it was purely physical then anyone who's had a drink problem would be drink free for life in a few days.

    Try reading about it before you come on here spouting absolute rubbish. Obtuse is a word that springs to mind.

    Good for you OP. You'll get there, you're getting there already.


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    #33
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
    Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
    Have a nice day.
    Thaedydal


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    #34
    Shayman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 150 ✭✭Shayman


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
    Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
    Have a nice day.
    Thaedydal

    Whose post?


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    #35
    Shayman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 150 ✭✭Shayman


    Wolflikeme wrote: »

    Try reading about it before you come on here spouting absolute rubbish. Obtuse is a word that springs to mind.

    Good for you OP. You'll get there, you're getting there already.

    Read about it? I've been through it! Have you?


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    #36
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Shayman if you can not contribute to this thread or forum in a constructive manner which is helpful to the people startings then do not post.


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    #37
    dreamer_ire
    Registered Users Posts: 1,894 ✭✭✭dreamer_ire


    Three weeks OP is a great start... keep it going. Sending you good vibes :)


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    #38
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    stephen_n wrote: »
    Have a backdoor plan, remember your recovery comes first, you may have heard it said that you can't save your face and your ass at the same time and these sort of situations are what that refers to. If your not comfortable, then have a phone number of a member handy if that is still not enough then make your excuses and leave!

    +1 OP
    When my mum quit 10 yrs ago now - you would be amazed or at least I was at the amount of her friends and family that would do their best to force drink down her throat. Even going so far as to try to make her guilty for not joining them.
    Thankfully she never has. If she did - and if she were ever to return to the way she was - well to be frank - that would be the day that my mother will have died for me - personally I cannot go back there. The fear is always there - especially as after say 5 yrs she turned around and tried to convince me she was not an alcoholic and never had been - had just decided to take the pledge for a few years...

    Just wanted you to be prepared though for your friends and family - did not mean to spin off this time. Be consistent and calm with them and firm. They may even try to convince you that you don't have a problem - but you know the truth.

    Really found your story here inspirational. You are one lucky guy - your OH really is one in a million.


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    #39
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Shayman wrote: »
    While I'm not taking anything away from the OP, I don't agree with this thing of all the 'categories' - sociallly, emotionally, physically, mentally dependent - of Alcoholism. You're either dependent on it or you're not! If you are, admit it and try and do something about it and stop pussyfooting around it.

    Step 1 of AA: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

    It doesn't say in what way we were powerless. As I said before you either are or you are not!

    As Barack Obama said you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig!

    Hi thanks for the reply, I'm not offended by your reply in the slightest or insulted.

    For years I told myself that because I'm not addicted to alcohol, or get urges to drink first thing in the morning, or drink cans on a park bench then I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic. Now I realise that like many things in life everyone is different and people with drink problems exhibit their symptoms of the disease in varying ways.

    My problem is that when I drank I couldn't stop or have any desire to stop. I used to envy people who could have a couple of drinks on a night out and stop quite happily. I on the other hand drank like I was trying to satisfy an insatiable thirst. Worse still, when I had drink on me I had absolutely no morals, or even any feelings. I didn't care about anyone only myself and my drinking. I remember to my eternal shame going to see my father in hospital after he had had an operation to remove a cancerous tumour. I had been drinking earlier that evening and to my eternal shame, despite the fact that my poor father, the greatest man I know was vomiting in bed like a frail old man, I cared more about getting back to the pub than being there to support him. That, my friend is the behaviour of someone with a drink problem. That is the disease of alcoholism. I carry the guilt and shame of that kind of behaviour (and countless other horrible things I did and said due to drink) with me every day as a reminder that that is the kind of person i'll become if alcohol passes my lips again.

    I don't want to be that kind of person. I am not that kind of person when I'm sober. the only way I can guarantee that I won't be that kind of person is not to drink.

    Thanks for your reply again, I didn't post here so everyone would tell me what a great lad I am. Replying to you has helped my clerify my thought even more and has strengthened my resolve that I'm on the riht course now.

    Thanks to everyone for their kind messages.


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    #40
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Taltos wrote: »
    +1 OP
    When my mum quit 10 yrs ago now - you would be amazed or at least I was at the amount of her friends and family that would do their best to force drink down her throat. Even going so far as to try to make her guilty for not joining them.
    Thankfully she never has. If she did - and if she were ever to return to the way she was - well to be frank - that would be the day that my mother will have died for me - personally I cannot go back there. The fear is always there - especially as after say 5 yrs she turned around and tried to convince me she was not an alcoholic and never had been - had just decided to take the pledge for a few years...

    Just wanted you to be prepared though for your friends and family - did not mean to spin off this time. Be consistent and calm with them and firm. They may even try to convince you that you don't have a problem - but you know the truth.

    Really found your story here inspirational. You are one lucky guy - your OH really is one in a million.

    Thanks a million for this advice. I have refrained from telling most people about any of this yet, save for my brother and a very close friend. I want to become totally at one with it myself before involving anyoen else. I've bought myself some time by simply telling people I'm not drinking for now as I have an exam coming up. In time I will tell the people who mater. If they can't accept it then they proably weren't that good a friend in the first place.

    As for my OH, she is the most amazing, wonderful, selfless, patient and downright good person on this planet. She has saved my life. Anyone who knows the lyrics to the song "Trouble" by Ray Lamontagne will understand. I'm so so so lucky to have her support, so many in my situation have no one. I don't deserve the fact that she still is prepared to put up with me, but I WILL, through my actions make her look at me with the love and admiration she did when we first met.


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    #41
    stephen_n
    Registered Users Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    Shayman wrote: »
    While I'm not taking anything away from the OP, I don't agree with this thing of all the 'categories' - sociallly, emotionally, physically, mentally dependent - of Alcoholism. You're either dependent on it or you're not! If you are, admit it and try and do something about it and stop pussyfooting around it.

    Step 1 of AA: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

    It doesn't say in what way we were powerless. As I said before you either are or you are not!

    As Barack Obama said you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig!

    Yes great so you admit you have a problem stop drinking and the world suddenly becomes a rosey place to live? No you end up substituting alcohol for another behaviour to mask your inability to deal with life on lifes terms or worse still you become a dry drunk with all the emotional defects of alcoholism and go round dumping your anger issues on everybody else in your. Addictions are coping mechanisms gone completely wrong , and alcohol is mearly a symptom of the problem not the problem itself.

    BTW quoting a step that you know nothing about and taking it out of context doesn't help if you read the big book or the 12 and 12 you'll get the answer to the question of what alcoholics are powerless over :)
    Taltos wrote: »
    +1 OP
    When my mum quit 10 yrs ago now - you would be amazed or at least I was at the amount of her friends and family that would do their best to force drink down her throat. Even going so far as to try to make her guilty for not joining them.
    Thankfully she never has. If she did - and if she were ever to return to the way she was - well to be frank - that would be the day that my mother will have died for me - personally I cannot go back there. The fear is always there - especially as after say 5 yrs she turned around and tried to convince me she was not an alcoholic and never had been - had just decided to take the pledge for a few years...

    Just wanted you to be prepared though for your friends and family - did not mean to spin off this time. Be consistent and calm with them and firm. They may even try to convince you that you don't have a problem - but you know the truth.

    Really found your story here inspirational. You are one lucky guy - your OH really is one in a million.

    It still absolutely amazes me how much my sobriety threatens people and how uncomfortable it can make them feel!


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    #42
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    stephen_n can we keep posts helpful for the OP and not go off topic asides with other posters please.


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    #43
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hello all, just checking in again.

    Will have been 4 weeks off the drink as of tomorrow. Have had a good week, was off work for the week. Had a tough day on Paddy's day, was in a situation where I was put under pressure by people to drink which was difficult for me, but got through it all the same. My moods have beena little down on certain days, inexplicably so, but I am slowly learning that as one wise man said recently at a meeting "there is a difference between feeling bad and tings actually being bad." Its ok for me to feel down every now again, its not the end of teh world and the feeling passes as quicly as it descends.

    Still getting great comfort and peace from attending meetings. My head is feels clear and I love waking up in the mornings with a clear head on weekends when normally Id have been crippled with hangovers.

    I am getting through this and this is the longest I've been without alcohol in literally years. Its still awkward making excuses not going to the pub and I've undoubtedly annoyed some people with the way I've withdrawn from my old social life. however they will get over it far quicker than I would if I drank again.

    Thanks for reading.


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    #44
    iguana
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 12,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭iguana


    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    My moods have beena little down on certain days, inexplicably so,

    I hope this helps but your mood being down isn't inexplicable. Alcohol withdrawal has subtle effects for a month or two after you quite drinking. Your body chemistry is still readjusting and you will have periods where you feel very low as your endorphins adjust. If you aren't taking it already I recommend getting a bottle of Vitamin B1/Thiamin tablets from a health shop/chemist and take one a day for the next few weeks/months, as that is known to help.

    If you find these low periods continuing for a long time or getting worse go see your GP and talk to him/her about it. They can refer you to your local health board alcohol treatment centre who have specially trained counsellors, psychiatrists and psychiatric nurses who can help you through any low points you experience.


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    #45
    littlefriend
    Registered Users Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭littlefriend


    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    Hello all, just checking in again.

    Will have been 4 weeks off the drink as of tomorrow. Have had a good week, was off work for the week. Had a tough day on Paddy's day, was in a situation where I was put under pressure by people to drink which was difficult for me, but got through it all the same. My moods have beena little down on certain days, inexplicably so, but I am slowly learning that as one wise man said recently at a meeting "there is a difference between feeling bad and tings actually being bad." Its ok for me to feel down every now again, its not the end of teh world and the feeling passes as quicly as it descends.

    Still getting great comfort and peace from attending meetings. My head is feels clear and I love waking up in the mornings with a clear head on weekends when normally Id have been crippled with hangovers.

    I am getting through this and this is the longest I've been without alcohol in literally years. Its still awkward making excuses not going to the pub and I've undoubtedly annoyed some people with the way I've withdrawn from my old social life. however they will get over it far quicker than I would if I drank again.

    Thanks for reading.

    Really, really well done. Delighted for you and your partner.


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    #46
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    ...and I've undoubtedly annoyed some people with the way I've withdrawn from my old social life.

    I suffered with some stress related health problems some time ago (during my fathers most active alcoholic years), and decided to quit drinking for a year, a few reasons really, wanted to see did it help the health problems, wanted to save some money, was disgusted by my fathers drinking etc..

    Anyway - whats relevant here is how other people reacted. Some people didnt want to know me if I wouldnt go drinking with them. It said a lot to me about who my friends were. I did have a shake up of friendships and realised that the ones who were annoyed were the heaviest drinkers and the ones who didnt like to see someone else get out of that rut cos it left a spotlight on them and their behaviour. So dont sweat it, your real friends will stick around. And you will make new ones if you take up different activities that dont centre around alcohol.


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    #47
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi all, just checking in. Have made it to the 8 week sober. This is the longest I've gone without drinking in at least a decade and it feels good (Last time was probably a year in college when my drinking ironically enough caused me to make a balls of my exams and I had to study for repeats!)

    It certainly hasn't been an easy couple of months. Making such a fundamental change is always going to have an effect. I have a few questions for people who may have experience of this kind of thing if thats OK.

    Does getting sober change your persobality? I feel like I'm a much more serious person these days. I don't laugh much anymore, I don't have as much banter and craic with people these days, its just not in me at the moment. I can't remember the last time I had a good laugh oir did something slly for no reason.

    I'm also getting much more introverted. Depite knowing that I HAVE to keep talking and opening my mouth about how I feel especially with my partner I just find it so so hard to do so. Having ditched my normal social life(going to the pub at weekends) I've been retreating into my shell quite a bit. I spend hours on the net and on boards, it feels safe just to lock myself away in the house.

    I'm also a moody f*cker these days. I often wake up in a black humour and can't see anything positive in the day or have no desire to get off my arse and do things with myself. Its affecting my relationship with my partner, theres kind of a distance between us these days and our sex life has almost disappeared to nothing. People in work are also driving me f8cking mad these days, I just have no tolerance for people these days and even the smallest little things annoy me far more than they ever did or should.

    With regards the drinking itself I've been fine to be perfectly honest. I've had the odd hard day in work when I've had a bit of a thirst for a cold beer at 5.00 and I miss a glass of wine with dinner a good bit sometimes. But overall its been OK from that side of things. Its just these moods and the way I'm changing that concerns me most now.

    Anyone have any advice or could shed some light on this?

    Thanks for reading. Its good to be sober and I'm proud to have gotten this far. It helps a lot to post here and I must get back into the habit of doing it more.


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    #48
    josh3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭josh3


    its not easy trust me i know...nearly three months off the beer but its so much better for me.....i have bad days and they seem to last forever but they pass and this past week has been my most peaceful and best week to date...last saturday was my worst day since giving up drink......meetings are good for me,but i also have treatment done which gave me a great understanding of my personality...ican be all the things you mentioned in your post but i work on them and think before i speak...most of the time...best of luck in the future


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    #49
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Just wondering ihaveaproblem have you actually admitted to yourself that you're an alcoholic or are you viewing this as just a bit of a break from booze? I would advise you to go to an AA meeting. There's great hope in hearing other peoples stories from their recoveries and knowing you're not alone.

    On the bleakness...It might be that you were drinking as a way of escaping from a depression and perhaps without drink you now have no escape. I would say go to the doctor and tell them the story, I've been on an SSRI for a while and it really helps lift the fog that can seem to envelope life sometimes.

    Fair play for 8 weeks, mate! I hope you keep it up.


    edit: Just a quick note on you saying you're not able to 'have the craic' and all that. I read something from a former alcoholic that resonated with me that went along the lines of him drinking since he was 16 in most social situations and so never grew socially. Socially he was still 16 and I think this is a huge problem in Ireland today.

    edit again: Just saw you've been to AA before too. Are you still going?


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    #50
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Rojomcdojo wrote: »
    Just wondering ihaveaproblem have you actually admitted to yourself that you're an alcoholic or are you viewing this as just a bit of a break from booze? I would advise you to go to an AA meeting. There's great hope in hearing other peoples stories from their recoveries and knowing you're not alone.

    On the bleakness...It might be that you were drinking as a way of escaping from a depression and perhaps without drink you now have no escape. I would say go to the doctor and tell them the story, I've been on an SSRI for a while and it really helps lift the fog that can seem to envelope life sometimes.

    Fair play for 8 weeks, mate! I hope you keep it up.


    edit: Just a quick note on you saying you're not able to 'have the craic' and all that. I read something from a former alcoholic that resonated with me that went along the lines of him drinking since he was 16 in most social situations and so never grew socially. Socially he was still 16 and I think this is a huge problem in Ireland today.

    edit again: Just saw you've been to AA before too. Are you still going?

    Thanks for the reply. No I've absolutely admitted I'm an alcoholic. I have a regular set of meetings that I've been attending every week. like you I take great comfort in the stories I hear and the fact that they've been through similar things as myself. I've met some really sound people there who have been a great help to me.

    Excuse my ignorance but whats SSRI? I have been considering going to talk to someone all right as there are definitely underlying issues to why I drank like I did and with a clearer head I have to face up to them now.

    Your point about being socially immature is a very good one. I undoubtedly drank to cover up awkwardness, shyness, anxiety in social situations, a feeling of not belonging so to speak.

    Thanks again for taking the time to post.


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    #51
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,245 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    Excuse my ignorance but whats SSRI?
    Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor - a type of anti-depressant.


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    #52
    Shayman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 150 ✭✭Shayman


    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    Thanks for the reply. No I've absolutely admitted I'm an alcoholic. I have a regular set of meetings that I've been attending every week. like you I take great comfort in the stories I hear and the fact that they've been through similar things as myself. I've met some really sound people there who have been a great help to me.

    Excuse my ignorance but whats SSRI? I have been considering going to talk to someone all right as there are definitely underlying issues to why I drank like I did and with a clearer head I have to face up to them now.

    Your point about being socially immature is a very good one. I undoubtedly drank to cover up awkwardness, shyness, anxiety in social situations, a feeling of not belonging so to speak.

    Thanks again for taking the time to post.

    Hang in there. I'm in recovery a few years now and still get black days. And I also changed my social scene totally. Not by choice but my previous social scene revolved solely around pubs and drinking. One thing I would say though, try and talk to your partner and work at that. She's stuck with you through this. Try and make it good with her. I lost my OH from my drinking and that gets to me every single day.


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    #53
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi all, just wanted to check in. have stayed sober for just over 15 weeks now.

    THE POSITIVES:
    -I'm sober. I wake up every morning with a clear head
    - I'm present in my life not just in body but in mind. I feel physiclly fitter and better.
    -My mind is clearer, not clouded by 3 day hangovers. I feel more mentally sharper and alert.
    -I've more focus and am in the process of applying for a masters related to my work. I wouldn't have had the drive to do this if I was still drinking, nor the confidence.
    -I've started to socialise and to my absolute shock i've managed a couple of nights out with my frineds staying off teh drink and actually enjoyed myself. i've had to field some awkward questions and some people who seems to either not believe me when I stay I'm off the drink or don't want to believe it. Either way it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

    THE NEGATIVES:

    - I feel horrible inside more often than not. I've been feeling more and more negative as the weeks go on. Full of self pity. Full of resentments towards others. I'm only too glad to seize on any little thing and mull it over in my head until its something that I carry bad feelings about around in my head all day. Its eating me up inside. I'm becoming a nightmare for my parner to live with. I'm sensitive to a huge degree to any tiny little setback. We don't really argue but I'm feeling so bad inside that I regularly cut myself off from her. There feels like a massive wedge between us. I find it imposible to talk about, either at AA meetings or with my partner as I can't explain it myself.

    On the face of it I have an amazing life. And incredible loving partner, a well paid job, a lovely home etc etc. Yet i cannot shake off this bad feeling no matter how hard I try. I've heard and read people refer to such a thing as a "dry drunk." Am I one of these? If anyone out there ho has been or is in a similar position to me can help me figure this out I'd be so grateful. Its gonna cost me my relationship if I don't get to the bottom of it soon.:(


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    #54
    iguana
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 12,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭iguana


    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    Yet i cannot shake off this bad feeling no matter how hard I try.

    Have you started seeing someone about your underlying issues? The most generally accepted cause of alcoholism in this part of the world is that it happens when people subconsciously self-medicate with alcohol. The most successful treatments happen when the drinker stops drinking and then is assessed and treated by a specialist counsellor. You've already mentioned underlying issues so just stopping drinking won't make them go away, it could in fact initially make it feel worse as you are no longer hiding from them with alcohol.

    If you are in Dublin I strongly recommend contacting some place like the Rutland Centre. Even if you can't fit their post quitting treatment schedule around your work they do weekend workshops and have a list of recommended specialist counsellors who offer out of hours services.

    And seriously, start taking Thiamine if you aren't already. This is a chemical which the brain normally produces and it helps control moods, but alcohol seriously inhibits it's production and it's lack seriously contributes to the horrible lows and mood swings in the year or so after quitting. You'll get it in most pharmacies and it's about €8 for a months worth and is really, really worth it. I've never known a doctor not to prescribe it to someone who is quitting.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thiamine#Alcoholic_brain_disease


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    #55
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    Hi all, just wanted to check in. have stayed sober for just over 15 weeks now.

    THE POSITIVES:
    -I'm sober. I wake up every morning with a clear head
    - I'm present in my life not just in body but in mind. I feel physiclly fitter and better.
    -My mind is clearer, not clouded by 3 day hangovers. I feel more mentally sharper and alert.
    -I've more focus and am in the process of applying for a masters related to my work. I wouldn't have had the drive to do this if I was still drinking, nor the confidence.
    -I've started to socialise and to my absolute shock i've managed a couple of nights out with my frineds staying off teh drink and actually enjoyed myself. i've had to field some awkward questions and some people who seems to either not believe me when I stay I'm off the drink or don't want to believe it. Either way it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

    THE NEGATIVES:

    - I feel horrible inside more often than not. I've been feeling more and more negative as the weeks go on. Full of self pity. Full of resentments towards others. I'm only too glad to seize on any little thing and mull it over in my head until its something that I carry bad feelings about around in my head all day. Its eating me up inside. I'm becoming a nightmare for my parner to live with. I'm sensitive to a huge degree to any tiny little setback. We don't really argue but I'm feeling so bad inside that I regularly cut myself off from her. There feels like a massive wedge between us. I find it imposible to talk about, either at AA meetings or with my partner as I can't explain it myself.

    On the face of it I have an amazing life. And incredible loving partner, a well paid job, a lovely home etc etc. Yet i cannot shake off this bad feeling no matter how hard I try. I've heard and read people refer to such a thing as a "dry drunk." Am I one of these? If anyone out there ho has been or is in a similar position to me can help me figure this out I'd be so grateful. Its gonna cost me my relationship if I don't get to the bottom of it soon.:(

    Just want to say well done on 15 weeks, it's a real accomplishment.

    Have you started working the steps with a sponsor in AA?

    I think you're going to have to see someone about the negative aspects in your life. Did you go to a doctor yet? They should be able to refer to you an addiction counselor or some such that will help you in a big way.


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    #56
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    iguana wrote: »
    Have you started seeing someone about your underlying issues? The most generally accepted cause of alcoholism in this part of the world is that it happens when people subconsciously self-medicate with alcohol. The most successful treatments happen when the drinker stops drinking and then is assessed and treated by a specialist counsellor. You've already mentioned underlying issues so just stopping drinking won't make them go away, it could in fact initially make it feel worse as you are no longer hiding from them with alcohol.

    If you are in Dublin I strongly recommend contacting some place like the Rutland Centre. Even if you can't fit their post quitting treatment schedule around your work they do weekend workshops and have a list of recommended specialist counsellors who offer out of hours services.

    And seriously, start taking Thiamine if you aren't already. This is a chemical which the brain normally produces and it helps control moods, but alcohol seriously inhibits it's production and it's lack seriously contributes to the horrible lows and mood swings in the year or so after quitting. You'll get it in most pharmacies and it's about €8 for a months worth and is really, really worth it. I've never known a doctor not to prescribe it to someone who is quitting.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thiamine#Alcoholic_brain_disease

    Does this need a doctor's prescription or is it available over-the-counter?

    Thank you for the advice.


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    #57
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Rojomcdojo wrote: »
    Just want to say well done on 15 weeks, it's a real accomplishment.

    Have you started working the steps with a sponsor in AA?

    I think you're going to have to see someone about the negative aspects in your life. Did you go to a doctor yet? They should be able to refer to you an addiction counselor or some such that will help you in a big way.

    I'm having trouble with the steps side of AA.

    At the moment going to meetings, listening to other people's stories and getting things off my chest on occasion is keeping me away from alcohol and to be honest I've had neither the desire nor the inclination to drink since I quit. I've had the odd fleeting craving and have happily sat in the pub with othes while they drank.

    But with regards the steps etc, I'm having difficulty. This issue of a "higher power" and turning my life over to God or another unseen entity is something I have a big problem getting my head around. It has stopped me from throwing myself into the steps. I see the benefit of the later steps such as examining myself and my flaws in depth and I think that would help me greatly. But Steps 2 and 3 are something I can't see myself being able to embrace anytime soon.:(


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    #58
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Congrats on how well you have done OP. That is an amazing achievement, you should be proud of yourself.

    I know many people who have good reason to find the 12 steps approach problematic or just not for them. This is in relation to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex addiction etc.

    If the 12steps model works for some people, great for them, but there are growing numbers of people who are speaking out about how AA and such groups created more problems for them in the long run.

    Harm Reduction and Moderation Management are two alternatives. Harm Reduction in Ireland is still largely unheard about because of the hegemony of the 12steps spiritual/cult approach.

    This is an American site, it is well worth a good look around as it has many useful strategies, supports and forum. http://hamsnetwork.org/


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    #59
    iguana
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 12,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭iguana


    Thiamine is available over the counter in most pharmacies. Though if you are on other medication it's worth having it added to the prescription as it will be included in the €120 per month maximum you pay toward medication.
    ihaveaproblem wrote: »
    But with regards the steps etc, I'm having difficulty. This issue of a "higher power" and turning my life over to God or another unseen entity is something I have a big problem getting my head around. It has stopped me from throwing myself into the steps. I see the benefit of the later steps such as examining myself and my flaws in depth and I think that would help me greatly. But Steps 2 and 3 are something I can't see myself being able to embrace anytime soon.:(

    If you are in Dublin you might like to try Life Ring in addition to AA. The Rutland Centre also holds group meetings like AA but is secular and afaik led by a counsellor. Baggot Street Hospital also have an alcohol treatment unit with counselling and secular group sessions. The way I see it is that there are actually quite a lot of methods that have success in helping with addictions and different things will work for different people. The Steps aren't for everyone and if you've given it a go and aren't finding it helpful it's worth trying a different approach. The important thing is to keep an open mind and give whatever you try a proper go.

    How is your partner coping? Do you live together? It's really tough to be involved with an alcoholic and he/she will be going through as tough a time as you are. It's worth getting him/her considering getting help for that. Al-anon is one option and many addiction treatment services offer counselling and groups for partners and family, both the Rutland and Baggot St certainly do.


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    #60
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Congratulations on your achievements OP.

    On the negative aspects of what you are going through - this is the area you need to address to really get to the root of why you were drinking the way you were. Other people have made good suggestions for alternatives to a 12 step program. Dont forget that there are no 'rules' with the 12 steps, you could do later ones and come back to earlier ones down the line if you felt later ones more relevant now.

    Its imperative for you that you talk to someone professional about how you are feeling, dont feel you cant explain it, you have explained it here. You may need medical intervention in the way of anti depressants, you could well have been depressed for some time but covering it with the alcohol, or you may just need to speak to a counseller, but one way or the other - you need to do something. Think of it this way, you identified a problem in your drinking habits, you stopped drinking, but you feel miserable now - what does that tell you? Drinking is not your problem, you may have developed a dependancy on it, but the REASON for the drinking is the real problem. But you wouldnt have known that til you stopped drinking, so just view it as the next step on a journey.

    Its unlikely a pill is going to solve these underlying issues for you, it may help, but you need to deal with whatever it is thats the problem, and thats why you need to speak to a professional.

    I wish you all the best.


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    #61
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here. I made it to a year off the drink in the last few days. Unbelieveable. My life has changed in so many ways. I've gottena Diploma a d am in the midle of a Masters, things I could never have done while drinking. My relationship with my partner is so much calmer. I stuck with AA for about 6 months on a weekly basis, now I've cut that back a lot. Going to the meetings initially helped me to see the effects that drink had on others and motivayted me to stop but I never fully subscribed to the ethos 100%, or got a sponsor. It worls for me in the way that I use it, I pop along to a meeting if I feel angsty but I'm happy that I'm not over reliant on AA. Drink is totally off the agenda for me and going back to it just isn't in my mind anymore. The first 6 months were tough, but now I've totally accepted sobriety and don't battle it any more.

    Its been amazing. Reading back on this thread gives me goosebumps. I can't believe how far I've come from the wreck I was, posting on boards for help from a miserable hotel room. I'm saved. Thanks to everyone that listened and posted their encouragement and advice.


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