Women-masturbation

LegacyUser · 03-01-2011 6:55pm

Novella wrote: »

But... You could just pretend that someone else is touching you? Then you don't have to picture yourself or whatever.

It wouldn't work. I can't imagine anyone fanciable wanting to have sex with me! It's just not realistic!

My own man is quite hot and always up for it though so it's not all bad! I just have no urge to masturbate!

How does everyone else get around this problem?

Princess Peach · 03-01-2011 7:10pm

I turn myself off wrote: »

I'm in a relationship so I don't bother atm. I don't have any difficulty cumming from penetration, but something else stops me masturbating, I don't find myself attractive. I hate the feel of vagina also. Eurgh!!!

I must be very narcissistic as I only really get turned on by someone else getting turned on by me! I don't find myself at all attractive.....so if you don't find yourself attractive do you bother?

I find myself a lot less attractive as I've gotten older and I have to say it wouldn't interest me to masturbate. I could physically cum, that's not the problem. The problem is fantasising, you can't fantasise without yourself being in the fantasy and that is an instant buzz killer for me.

This is sad because I used to love a good roll in the hay with myself as a younger girl !!!

I feel the same way! Don't know how guys do it down there :pac: So I just use a vibrator, so I don't feel it with my own hands!

Maybe get an erotic book for yourself? Could help get you in the mood maybe?

Novella · 03-01-2011 7:15pm

I turn myself off wrote: »

It wouldn't work. I can't imagine anyone fanciable wanting to have sex with me! It's just not realistic!

My own man is quite hot and always up for it though so it's not all bad! I just have no urge to masturbate!

How does everyone else get around this problem?

Well, if you have no urge to masturbate, you just don't have to do it! It's not really a problem, imo.

LegacyUser · 03-01-2011 7:21pm

I turn myself off, I have plenty of fantasies, and very few of them involve me at all... maybe I just have more voyeuristic tendencies. That said, a friend and I discussed fantasies a few years ago, and I realised that I never fantasise about people I'm really attracted to, rather I fantasise about attractive people, where there's no connection.

I don't find myself attractive in the slightest, and I'm almost terminally single. If I didn't flick through my internal porn stash occasionally though I'd be intolerable. (Definitely no pun intended.)

I also find masturbation a fantastic way to get to sleep if I'm very worked up about something and can't relax. Frankly I'd rather masturbation to going back on sleeping pills - it's natural, free, and infinitely more fun.

I'm curious about toys, but a bit shy of the whole idea...

Hell, if it makes you happy it can't be that bad.

pow wow · 03-01-2011 7:56pm

I don't feel like it's 'wrong' though if I'm honest I don't give it too much conscious thought! When I was younger it felt a bit hollow as Faith was saying, but now I always think about a guy when I do it as opposed to 'hello, I'm touching my own vagina'. Different strokes eh? (pun intended!!)

LegacyUser · 03-01-2011 8:33pm

I can't stand 'romantic' porn. I also hate porn where the couple keep telling each other how attractive they find each other, and some of the sound effects are so clearly fake it's offputting. I'm single, but would still masturbate when in a relationship and think nothing of it.

I think about other people having sex sometimes, and other times my fantasies involve me. However, I sometimes find myself thinking about people I don't find at all attractive - not exactly unattractive, but definitely not my type.

It's never been a discussion topic among my friends. I would answer if asked, though, but I have no strong urges to find out their habits.

squishykins · 03-01-2011 9:10pm

zoegh wrote: »

Ok, fair enough on the one I mentioned (and pretty much everything in the world can be fetishised!!) but I don't think it's fair to say porn is disgusting... TBH I'm a woman, with no major crazy weird fetishes that I'd be afraid to talk about in conversation, but the so called 'female friendly' and romantic bits of porn i find tedious in the extreme! Different strokes, and all that!

I completely agree! Though in saying that, there are many fetishes that I thought I'd have no interest in till they were tried out with me, fun fun times! :P Makes the whole experience that much more interesting :P

I turn myself off wrote: »

I'm in a relationship so I don't bother atm. I don't have any difficulty cumming from penetration, but something else stops me masturbating, I don't find myself attractive. I hate the feel of vagina also. Eurgh!!!

I must be very narcissistic as I only really get turned on by someone else getting turned on by me! I don't find myself at all attractive.....so if you don't find yourself attractive do you bother?

I find myself a lot less attractive as I've gotten older and I have to say it wouldn't interest me to masturbate. I could physically cum, that's not the problem. The problem is fantasising, you can't fantasise without yourself being in the fantasy and that is an instant buzz killer for me.

This is sad because I used to love a good roll in the hay with myself as a younger girl !!!

I've never fantasised anything to do with myself during it...I either think of my boyfriend, a random selection of girls or I just watch porn :P All the works already done for me there! :P

Funtasy wrote: »

I'm curious about toys, but a bit shy of the whole idea...

Don't be. They're so much fun! :P

LegacyUser · 03-01-2011 9:16pm

Well, alot of people are like myself, really glad to see that!I used to feel nothing at the start when I did it but with a bit of practice it became comfortable and really enjoyable! Anyone ever have a sneaky peak at lesbian porn??I'm 100% not gay, but there's something slightly exciting about something completely different!

Anyone else?

parker kent · 03-01-2011 9:19pm

I turn myself off wrote: »

It wouldn't work. I can't imagine anyone fanciable wanting to have sex with me! It's just not realistic!

My own man is quite hot and always up for it though so it's not all bad! I just have no urge to masturbate!

How does everyone else get around this problem?

Your second line should be enough to rule out your first line. That means there is a guy that fancies you and obviously wants to have sex with you. So you could think about him. And if he fancies you, chances are lots of others will too.

I think girls should treat this the same way guys do. It is a normal, healthy thing to do and is a great way to relieve stress or have fun. I would never in a million years have considered things like whether somebody fancies me or if I feel attractive. Mainly because if I did think about stuff like that I would never go near myself!

rainbow kirby · 03-01-2011 9:21pm

Hunny Nut wrote: »

Anyone ever have a sneaky peak at lesbian porn??I'm 100% not gay, but there's something slightly exciting about something completely different!

Sometimes for straight women, the sight of female pleasure is a turn-on. Nothing wrong with that

Princess Peach · 03-01-2011 9:23pm

Hunny Nut wrote: »

Well, alot of people are like myself, really glad to see that!I used to feel nothing at the start when I did it but with a bit of practice it became comfortable and really enjoyable! Anyone ever have a sneaky peak at lesbian porn??I'm 100% not gay, but there's something slightly exciting about something completely different!

Anyone else?

I won't leave you alone, I'll admit to this one :pac:

squishykins · 03-01-2011 9:35pm

Hunny Nut wrote: »

Well, alot of people are like myself, really glad to see that!I used to feel nothing at the start when I did it but with a bit of practice it became comfortable and really enjoyable! Anyone ever have a sneaky peak at lesbian porn??I'm 100% not gay, but there's something slightly exciting about something completely different!

Anyone else?

Totally

But then...I am bi, so I guess my vote doesn't count

LegacyUser · 03-01-2011 9:41pm

parker kent wrote: »

Your second line should be enough to rule out your first line. That means there is a guy that fancies you and obviously wants to have sex with you. So you could think about him.

Ah lol sure I can have sex with him anytime! As for him 'wanting to have sex' -he pretends I'm someone else when he is riding me. I'd say it's like most people, he is making do as he can't get anything better.

parker kent wrote: »

And if he fancies you, chances are lots of others will too.

No. I sincerely doubt it.

parker kent wrote: »

I think girls should treat this the same way guys do. It is a normal, healthy thing to do and is a great way to relieve stress or have fun. I would never in a million years have considered things like whether somebody fancies me or if I feel attractive. Mainly because if I did think about stuff like that I would never go near myself!

I just dont know how men can do it though. How can they fap over a celeb who would never spit on them in real life? How do you get to the stage where your mind thinks that is possible or imaginable. My mind can not do that. It's frustrating.

pow wow · 03-01-2011 9:44pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

I won't leave you alone, I'll admit to this one :pac:

+1. Though some of the commercially produced stuff is truly awful! A friend of mine has a stash to rival the finest websites but lots of it is just plain ridiculous. It seems to be extreme in either direction - tears of emotion and lurve or whacking it out on the table at the local bus station. No in between :rolleyes: The worst ones though for me are when they try and 'cross over' like porn with a story...I've yet to see one that's any good :pac:

rainbow kirby · 03-01-2011 9:46pm

pow wow wrote: »

+1. Though some of the commercially produced stuff is truly awful!

Lesbian porn aimed at men is hilariously bad and looks really awkward. One word - fingernails :pac:

pow wow · 03-01-2011 9:47pm

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Lesbian porn aimed at men is hilariously bad and looks really awkward. One word - fingernails :pac:

And the kissing that isn't really kissing...just kind of wagging tongues at each other :rolleyes:

Princess Peach · 03-01-2011 9:49pm

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Lesbian porn aimed at men is hilariously bad and looks really awkward. One word - fingernails :pac:

If I start watching one when a girl has those fingernails, I cringe and turn it off straight away! I genuinely tense up down there just at the look of those nails!

The ones with story lines make me laugh more than turn me on!

03-01-2011 9:59pm

God, I love pornos with storylines when their acting is so awkward and forced, cue the music (for me, if I ever hear that god awful porn music, I either have to turn it off or turn it down, otherwise I'll just laugh) and then the fun begins.

rainbow kirby · 03-01-2011 10:08pm

irelandspurs - AH-style responses are not appreciated around here.

annieire · 03-01-2011 10:09pm

pow wow wrote: »

And the kissing that isn't really kissing...just kind of wagging tongues at each other :rolleyes:

I know!! Thats so true. Is there a 'no tongue' rule im not aware of or is that just Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman?

WindSock · 03-01-2011 10:32pm

Most viewed thread of 2011? :pac:

Wibbs · 03-01-2011 10:45pm

rainbow kirby wrote: »

One word - fingernails :pac:

well it kinda has a similar worry for guys, massive nails=black&decker Pecker wrecker. :eek:

LegacyUser · 03-01-2011 10:49pm

Horrrrayyyyy!I never win anything, Do I get a prize or something???!!Wish I had used my username now!!haha!

There are some ridiculous ones out there...the worst one I ever saw (cringe-y) was a girl that calls 911 the fire brigade come and she's like ''hahaha relax the fire is down here....'' (touching herself!)....like seriously!!!!!Imagine doing that for real...you'd be arrested!!

Princess Peach · 03-01-2011 10:53pm

Hunny Nut wrote: »

Horrrrayyyyy!I never win anything, Do I get a prize or something???!!Wish I had used my username now!!haha!

There are some ridiculous ones out there...the worst one I ever saw (cringe-y) was a girl that calls 911 the fire brigade come and she's like ''hahaha relax the fire is down here....'' (touching herself!)....like seriously!!!!!Imagine doing that for real...you'd be arrested!!

You win......

an Ann Summers gift card! Keep up the good work

pastry2010 · 03-01-2011 11:00pm

Wibbs wrote: »

well it kinda has a similar worry for guys, massive nails=black&decker Pecker wrecker. :eek:

Thats the funniest thing I've heard in ages!!!!:DBrilliant!!!

squishykins · 03-01-2011 11:11pm

Wibbs wrote: »

well it kinda has a similar worry for guys, massive nails=black&decker Pecker wrecker. :eek:

Yeah...I tell people I keep my nails short for the guitar-playing, which is only half true realllly :P

parker kent · 03-01-2011 11:43pm

I turn myself off wrote: »

I just dont know how men can do it though. How can they fap over a celeb who would never spit on them in real life? How do you get to the stage where your mind thinks that is possible or imaginable. My mind can not do that. It's frustrating.

But it doesn't really matter whether you have a chance with the person. It is just a fantasy, a release from reality. And I would add that a lot of men don't necessarily think about celebrities, it can be anybody really. The idea of guys fapping to celebs or commercial porn is a bit cliched, more often than not they are thinking of somebody they actually know/somebody they saw in real life. And if it is porn, I don't know of any guys that watch the cheesy commercial porn with scripts etc. But maybe my friends are more open about their habits than most! But that is a whole other conversation!

Anyway, you should basically view masturbation as something to relax yourself, some me-time. Use it to relax, to help you sleep, to take a mental break from reality. Whether or not the person or event you are thinking of could ever really happen is not that important. What is more important is that you make yourself happy and learn a bit more about your body. The reason doesn't really matter. And if you genuinely don't want to, then that is no biggie either.

Edit: I would also add that it can vary from person-to-person and it can't be easily divided into male/female behaviour. But in general, men view masturbation as just being a way of scratching an itch.

LegacyUser · 04-01-2011 12:03am

I think its pretty important to get used to your body, know what works for you.

I don't always orgasm from sex with my boyfriend, but still love the experience. Masturbation just scratches the itch and lets me get on with my day.

When I was younger I used to feel embarrassed/guilty about it because I thought other girls don't do it, wish I'd known then.

Porn is hard to come by, anything good for women usually costs money, the rest is usually a bit degrading to the women. Erotic stories can be good though.

beks101 · 04-01-2011 1:42am

It so saddened me to read those posts about girls not masturbating because you don't find yourself remotely sexually attractive / hate the look or feel of your vagina etc.

I've been playing with myself (sounds way better!

) since I was about seven years old, before I even knew what I was doing and only knew that it felt good. I still do it regularly, as much in as out of a relationship (tbh, regular sex makes me hornier than usual and means there's always a need for some me-time) and I'm so glad of it, because it's made me totally comfortable about my sexuality.

As a teenager I used to cringe at the idea of myself being sexual, but I really believe masturbation, far more than sex, helped me to get over that - essentially because you only have to focus on your own pleasure so can give 100% dedication to figuring out what turns you on and gets you off. I really think it's like an important form of sexual 'homework' (and the hottest study you'll ever have to do!)

Sometimes I use porn (and I'm another straight woman who finds lesbian porn really hot), sometimes memory and sometimes complete fantasy. And to the poster who basically said the sheer far-fetchedness of the fantasy means she can't get into it...that's what fantasies are for!! They serve as a form of escapism, they don't have to be remotely based in reality and that's the fun of them!

Ickle Magoo · 04-01-2011 1:57am

I turn myself off wrote: »

I just dont know how men can do it though. How can they fap over a celeb who would never spit on them in real life? How do you get to the stage where your mind thinks that is possible or imaginable. My mind can not do that. It's frustrating.

Try writing to get your imagination going. I write erotic fiction which started out with me unable to find a lot of porn or literature that was my idea of erotic. If you do it that way then you don't have any of the standard male oriented porn fare that you find unerotic or off-putting getting in the way of your fantasy - you just have the stuff that turns you on. :cool:

Josh_Calvert · 04-01-2011 2:01am

men are pragmatic.what works works.women have the luxury/curse of emotionally infused over-thinking...erotic fiction is quite the thing with women, much moreso than random porn videos on t'internet.

Princess Peach · 04-01-2011 2:06am

I've had the conversation with a group of people before about what they think about while masturbating :P

The general conclusion among the guys was porn/ celebrities. The general conclusion among the girls was their current boyfriend. Now it is possible the lads were just trying to save face in front of each other and didn't want to seem romantic/ soppy!

I know I used to always think about my boyfriend, be it memories or fantasies, it always involved him somehow. Now that we're broken up I really try hard not to think of him, trying to get over him, but sometimes thinking of a great time I had with him is the only way for me to get to the finish!

Ickle Magoo · 04-01-2011 2:11am

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

men are pragmatic.what works works.women have the luxury/curse of emotionally infused over-thinking...erotic fiction is quite the thing with women, much moreso than random porn videos on t'internet.

As it happens I like both - but when I started getting interested in masturbatory aids, popping onto the family computer and finding some porn I liked was no mean feat - there's certainly far more of it around today that I have the time and privacy to enjoy but I keep writing because my husband likes it so much.

Belle E. Flops · 04-01-2011 3:08am

I go through phases where I could masturbate loads for a few days and then not at all for another week or 2. Everyone should do it and feel comfortable doing it. Its our bodies, we are entitled to explore it!

LegacyUser · 04-01-2011 1:28pm

OP, masturbation is nothing to be ashamed about. This is the year 2011 and a lot of the old myths (it's dirty, a sin, makes you go blind) that kept people from doing it or talking about it in years gone by have been challenged. The vast majority of people of both sexes masturbate, and any healthy relationship should be able to accommodate it. My boyfriend and I both do it as well as having regular sex, and neither of us has anything to hide.

I don't think you should be hiding it from your boyfriend either. Rather than making up stories about your friend looking for Paris Hilton's sex tape, admit to him that you've been masturbating and exploring porn. If he's like 99 percent of other men he will find that a turn-on rather than a turn-off! If you have enough confidence, let him watch you. It will be a good education for him in what stimulates you and how you need to be touched. It will also make him aware that you have sexual desires and needs of your own, and that sex shouldn't be initiated only when *he* wants it.

Eve_Dublin · 04-01-2011 2:53pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

I've had the conversation with a group of people before about what they think about while masturbating :P

The general conclusion among the guys was porn/ celebrities. The general conclusion among the girls was their current boyfriend. Now it is possible the lads were just trying to save face in front of each other and didn't want to seem romantic/ soppy!

I know I used to always think about my boyfriend, be it memories or fantasies, it always involved him somehow. Now that we're broken up I really try hard not to think of him, trying to get over him, but sometimes thinking of a great time I had with him is the only way for me to get to the finish!

I remember when my ex broke up with me a few years ago, I used to get really upset after I masturbated and came thinking of him. We had great sex but I´d usually get really emotional and it would just make the broken heart worse.

I´ve been masturbating since I was about 12..kind of discovered by accident and haven´t stopped since! Delighted I can do it...as someone said, sometimes it´s like an itch I have to get rid of before I start my day. BUT I don´t do it if I´m feeling lonely or having a day of self-loathing. I burst into tears when I cum and I end up feeling really down.

My main fantasy is pretty standard: I´m the student and he´s the teacher disciplining me haha. Just shows you my lack of imagination...

baby and crumble · 04-01-2011 4:19pm

rainbow kirby wrote:

One word - fingernails

amyputz wrote:

Yeah...I tell people I keep my nails short for the guitar-playing, which is only half true realllly

For those you wondering why lesbians keep their nails so short... and why mainstream lesbian porn is RIDICULOUS:

Scary story (no dodgy pics but not sure if it's NSFW... probably ok

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

parker kent · 04-01-2011 8:40pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

I've had the conversation with a group of people before about what they think about while masturbating :P

The general conclusion among the guys was porn/ celebrities. The general conclusion among the girls was their current boyfriend. Now it is possible the lads were just trying to save face in front of each other and didn't want to seem romantic/ soppy!

I can definitely say that it is very common for guys to think of people they know. And sadly for GFs, that person is often not them!

This link has some good examples of the sort of thing men fantasize about. It is from 3 different guys in different situations. (FYI the link is pretty SFW, nothing graphic etc). I'm just posting the 2 straight guys since I can only know for sure what a straight guy thinks like and these are pretty accurate.

http://www.emandlo.com/2009/02/wise-guys-what-do-men-think-about-when-they-fantasize/

Straight Single Guy (Max): In order to masturbate, I have to have some kind of scenario in my head. It can be past experiences, girls that I’ve been with and (perhaps most often) girls that I want to be with. It might be the girl that was making eyes at me earlier in the day (though the likelihood is that I was making eyes at her and just misinterpreting her look of “what are you staring at?”) or perhaps stranger subjects, such as fictional girls from dreams, co-workers, or women that you might consider out of your age range but still attractive (there’s a reason that MILF is a household word). Oftentimes, the male mind is most interested in the forbidden. For instance, the girlfriend that wouldn’t try anal? It’s only going to happen in your head. Already have a girlfriend but have the hots for her friends? Save everyone the heartache. You really want to break into your workplace late at night and pour champagne all over each other and do it on your boss’s desk? You won’t get arrested if it’s just a dream. Bisexual fantasies? Go for it. Essentially, I view masturbation as a time for completely uncensored fantasy. Whatever comes to mind and turns me on, I go with it. And as far as girls’ fantasies go? I’m amazed when I talk to my girl friends and they all say that they don’t think about much of anything… just concentrating. Weird.

Straight Married Guy (Ben): Guys’ fantasies fall into three distinct categories: The Unique, The Unfulfilled and The Unmentionable. The Unique are what women want us to fantasize about — previous sexual encounters, preferably with your current partner, that we’re reliving in our heads. Or, about one percent of our fantasies. The Unfulfilled are the things we really, really want but are mostly too chicken to ask for — the threesome with that hot couple at the bar last night, the cute intern, you and your sister, with or without us. This is about 60 percent. But then there’s that last 39 percent — The Unmentionables. These are the things that make us hot — we don’t know why — and are actually too out there even for us. This is the macho degradation porn. Or the animals. Or the three gigs of dwarves on the hard drive. It doesn’t make sense, especially to us. But you know what? Sometimes, it’s exactly what’s needed to get the job done.

wolfmoon87 · 04-01-2011 10:29pm

zoegh wrote: »

For those you wondering why lesbians keep their nails so short... and why mainstream lesbian porn is RIDICULOUS:

Scary story (no dodgy pics but not sure if it's NSFW... probably ok

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Oh God, I was squirming reading that:eek:

LegacyUser · 04-01-2011 11:45pm

I masturbate quite a lot but I do get that awful feeling afterwards that it's wrong.

I'm a virgin and a lot of people are saying 'oh it's good to explore and know what pleases you so it benefits you when your with a partner', and while on paper that sounds like a good idea, to do your 'sexual homework' but for me it's not really true :S

I think I have quite a high sex drive - I get horny a lot, but when it comes to the deed, I just cant find a way to maximally please myself. It just doesnt do it for me 90% of the time.

Like I said, I'm horny like all the time lol so I masturbate often but the orgasms (if they are even that), while they feel good, arent amazing and only last like 10 seconds! Thats not normal, right?!

One thing, I'd add is that while I've been trying to explore (and Ive been masturbating for years. Im 19 now), I just cant bring myself to do anything vaginally cos its just uncomfortable to me no matter how turned on I am

So Ive only ever come from clitoral stimulation.

Any advice ladies? Apart from losing my virginity lol

Wibbs · 04-01-2011 11:49pm

OK folks, help is fine, but lets keep it as PG as possible thanks

LegacyUser · 09-01-2011 4:15am

Hope it's ok for a guy to throw in his 10c here: I don't see anything wrong with it and happily neither does my wife. She has no problem with me taking care of myself when the need arises, nor vice versa.
I don't think it would be fair for him to object to it although I do think it would be good to discuss it just in case there are any underlying issues, e.g. it may make him feel jealous/resentful/inadequate/etc, or say he may not like you doing it in front of him.
On the other hand he may well enjoy you doing it in his presence which could lead to good things; have to admit there is a certain naughty pleasure in indulging yourself with your partner present!
But provided it's in private and not stirring any problems (right or wrong) with your other half it's harmless, in fact more than that it's a valuable safety valve!

nesbitt · 09-01-2011 6:06pm

Hunny Nut wrote: »

Wrong - that I am in a relationship and that when he's not here I ''look after myself'', he picked up my laptop and it came up in history he looked at me and I was mortified - made up some ridiculous story - that even I wouldn't believe about my friend and I looking for Paris Hilton's vid as a laugh!:( Do most women do this, this is the first relationship I have done this. feel like I'm cheating in a sense.....

So you masturbate.... I do, have had some of my best Tsunamis DIY.

However, my only concern for you OP is that your other half picks up your laptop and checks your history, and then questions you about it.

That in my view is a problem...

09-01-2011 6:28pm

zoegh wrote: »

For those you wondering why lesbians keep their nails so short... and why mainstream lesbian porn is RIDICULOUS:

Scary story (no dodgy pics but not sure if it's NSFW... probably ok

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

.. Well I'm going to keep my nails short and clean from now on ..

Lia_lia · 10-01-2011 4:56am

zoegh wrote: »

For those you wondering why lesbians keep their nails so short... and why mainstream lesbian porn is RIDICULOUS:

Scary story (no dodgy pics but not sure if it's NSFW... probably ok

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Ahahaha.

mariaalice · 10-01-2011 9:36am

DIY is alright but its never going to be the same as the real thing a lot of women are looking for intimacy as well as pleasure and thats the reason i think women can find the DIY option a bit second best.

LegacyUser · 12-01-2011 8:17pm

Well.....I decided to check back in tell you all how 'it' is going...Since posting this well things have certainly changed..I decided to really brave and do it in front of him and his reaction was REALLY good!!It made me orgasm

which he was really happy about and the sex lasted longer ...with all the foreplay, he's not one to talk dirty but I could tell he was really turned on!Thank you all, amazing advice!

LegacyUser · 16-01-2011 11:44pm

aitase wrote: »

I masturbate quite a lot but I do get that awful feeling afterwards that it's wrong.

I'm a virgin and a lot of people are saying 'oh it's good to explore and know what pleases you so it benefits you when your with a partner', and while on paper that sounds like a good idea, to do your 'sexual homework' but for me it's not really true :S

I think I have quite a high sex drive - I get horny a lot, but when it comes to the deed, I just cant find a way to maximally please myself. It just doesnt do it for me 90% of the time.

Like I said, I'm horny like all the time lol so I masturbate often but the orgasms (if they are even that), while they feel good, arent amazing and only last like 10 seconds! Thats not normal, right?!

One thing, I'd add is that while I've been trying to explore (and Ive been masturbating for years. Im 19 now), I just cant bring myself to do anything vaginally cos its just uncomfortable to me no matter how turned on I am So Ive only ever come from clitoral stimulation.

Any advice ladies? Apart from losing my virginity lol

If its uncomfortable, you might want to research vaginismus

Dudess · 18-01-2011 1:15am

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Try writing to get your imagination going. I write erotic fiction which started out with me unable to find a lot of porn or literature that was my idea of erotic.

+1

aitase wrote: »

I masturbate quite a lot but I do get that awful feeling afterwards that it's wrong.

I'm a virgin and a lot of people are saying 'oh it's good to explore and know what pleases you so it benefits you when your with a partner', and while on paper that sounds like a good idea, to do your 'sexual homework' but for me it's not really true :S

For me it definitely is. Being in tune with what gets you off and where your pleasure zones are, being comfortably familiar with yourself - recipe for awesomeness. It shocks me that some women haven't discovered how to make themselves orgasm until their late 20s/30s! :eek: I was about 12... :pac:

An aside, but related: sometimes I wonder when men are accused of being bad in bed how much effort the woman is putting in to guiding him. How is he always supposed to automatically know what gets her off?

Corkblowin · 18-01-2011 12:50pm

If its ok for a man to comment.......

I'm with many of the posters here, I actually think it should be compulsory!!

The number of women out there who don't know their own bodies is frightening really. One example - went out with a girl a few years ago, 26, 1 child, never had an orgasm in her life.....had never really touched herself (apparently thats what men were for!). Now while it was fun helping her find out what she liked/disliked/worked/didn't work, a woman really should understand how her body reacts and how to make herself feel good. Because ladies....if you don't know.....how on earth are we supposed to!!

Women-masturbation

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