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Hindsight after moments of madness

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    #32
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,333 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Tom, I reckon subconsciously you didn't want to do it last night because there are still loads of people on holidays and you didn't want your grandest moment on boards to be spoiled by the polite applause of 16 men and a dog.

    We'll be waiting in January for the first post to earn one million thanks.


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    #33
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    brummytom wrote: »
    And how is my typing so good?! I literally can't feel my legs.

    Because you don't type with yer toes Tom! :pac:


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    #34
    Gyalist
    Registered Users Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    danniemcq wrote: »
    Your man card, hand it over

    i know, I know.
    Still can't believe how, just for those few seconds, I wasn't on top of my game.


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    #35
    danniemcq
    Registered Users Posts: 14,163 ✭✭✭✭danniemcq


    Gyalist wrote: »
    i know, I know.
    Still can't believe how, just for those few seconds, I wasn't on top of my game.

    they woulda had nurse outfits too, guaranteed!


    ...

    i'm not helping am I?


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    #36
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    brummytom wrote: »
    We went to this weird one that's a bank of ireland atm, in England?.

    Using the BOI atm? If nothing else Tom, you're a loyal young paddy.


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    #37
    Captain Darling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    So you're a racist now Tom?


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    #38
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    Corvus Maximus wrote: »
    Using the BOI atm? If nothing else Tom, you're a loyal young paddy.

    It was probably a post office, I think all the post offices here use BOI ATMs.


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    #39
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,333 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Sounds like a lot of the girls would like a boy at 'em as well.


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    #40
    Stiffler2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stiffler2


    Ya should have just rode yer wan home like a horse


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    #41
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,079 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    J. Marston wrote: »
    Lets not judge him yet, this back-alley girl may have been a 22 stone heffer.
    LOL

    When I read it I heard "Get to the CHOPPER"

    Then again she could have been a Harriet Jenkins


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    #42
    wyndham
    Registered Users Posts: 2,284 ✭✭✭wyndham


    You weren't walking & eating a Taco fries when you met her by any chance?


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    #43
    amacca
    Registered Users Posts: 6,843 ✭✭✭amacca


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    Also, when the **** is a cash machine ever down a back alley?

    from the sounds of it the OP was going to end up being the cash machine


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    #44
    Blitzkrieger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,661 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    Gyalist wrote: »
    the driver even slagged me for turning down an invitation from two lonely nurses

    I'm surprised he didn't hand you the keys and go for a cup of tea himself tbh....


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    #45
    Immaculate Pasta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    brummytom you've had a mare. Better luck next time. But at least you know who she is so there's always a way of contacting her but better yet if you see her out in town again at least you know she's interested.

    The one's who you don't know who they are the one's which haunt you like yer man's story about the nurses. I've been in a similar situation myself where there was this fit bird giving me all the signals and asking where I was going now and then my friend turned up and I just went off to join the rest of my mates. You just end up kicking yourself that you weren't quicker in taking up the signals.

    It's a funny one the drink. A part of you thinks if I didn't drink I would think more rationally and have better success but then I think if I didn't have a couple of drinks I wouldn't be approaching them. It's important to get that right limit and I more often end up overdoing it. I think I'll have one more before I go over then the next minute I'm hammered :cool:


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    #46
    msg11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,572 ✭✭✭msg11


    Stiffler2 wrote: »
    Ya should have just rode yer wan home like a horse

    Could have saved on the taxi fare too.. The dirty jeezable ..


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    #47
    PK2008
    Registered Users Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭PK2008


    brummytom wrote: »
    So I'm just after coming in from a night out - wasn't the best, but probably not the worst either.


    Outside the chip shop, next door to the club, a girl comes up to me who I met the last time I was there. "Tom! Do you remember me? I was in the year above you at [my primary school]!" So we get talking, she asks me to come to the cashpoint with her, about half a mile away, down some back alley.
    "Are you still a virgin Tom?"
    "Ermmm... yeahh..."
    "I wonder how I could change that". I laughed and she put her arms round me. My phone rang, and it was a friend saying. "Tom, get to the taxi NOW!" I said "I've got to go, I'm really sorry" and leggggged it back through the town centre to get to the taxi.

    As we drove off, I thought 'what in the name of God have I done? I had plenty of money to get my own taxi!'



    And another. My muslim teacher (who absolutely loves me, great for banter) wasn't in a lesson but had set some work. Assuming she was in, I jokingly wrote "Miss is going to get hammered at Eid" on the board, it being the week of Eid.
    I thought nothing of it until the next lesson, when she told me a supply teacher had seen it and reported it for racism, but didn't know who it was.


    Are you a person who thinks before they act, or do you just do things and not even consider the consequences?


    (I'm meant to be up for work in 3 hours... will a deadly hangover voice sound sick enough to claim I'm dying?)

    Tom, I am disappoint


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    #48
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    I go on facebook pissed drunk at 3am and start updating my status and generally causing havok. Its become a bit of a ritual to get up the next day, log on, get deleting and check the phone log. Got lucky two nights ago, couldnt find the submit button so the message never got posted.


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    #49
    mattjack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    Tom stick with the Muslim teacher, 76 virgins will die by side or something.


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    #50
    brummytom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    mattjack wrote: »
    Tom stick with the Muslim teacher, 76 virgins will die by side or something.
    Biiiit racist!


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    #51
    wonderboysam
    Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭wonderboysam


    brummytom wrote: »
    mattjack wrote: »
    Tom stick with the Muslim teacher, 76 virgins will die by side or something.
    Biiiit racist!
    yea he makes every other religion sound shit!


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    #52
    brummytom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    I have had somewhere between 15 and 20-odd pints. I'm not even going to heaven.


    Muslims are great craic tbf.


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    #53
    PseudoFamous
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,514 ✭✭✭PseudoFamous


    brummytom wrote: »
    I have had somewhere between 15 and 20-odd pints. I'm not even going to heaven.
    I don't think my body can even process that much liquid in 24 hours. That's like 11 liters of drink


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    #54
    brummytom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    PseudoFamous wrote: »
    I don't think my body can even process that much liquid in 24 hours. That's like 11 liters of drink
    I'm pretty sure I'm dead tbh


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    #55
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    So, Tom, not only a real live girl, but one who wanted you to explore back-alleys with her .... >.<
    brummytom wrote: »
    Yeah she was fit lol, why am I such an idiot? And how is my typing so good?! I literally can't feel my legs.
    I'm beginning to think there's a complete lack of communication between your brain and anything below your waist tbh! :P
    pickarooney wrote: »
    Sounds like a lot of the girls would like a boy at 'em as well.
    I got that ... I don't think too many did.
    mattjack wrote: »
    Tom stick with the Muslim teacher, 76 virgins will die by side or something.
    And the way he's going, one of them will be Tom!
    brummytom wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure I'm dead tbh
    Would explain a lot all right ... :P


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    #56
    brummytom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Feck. A multiquote at this time of night. I swear I'm a ****ing animal. I was talking to a mate of the legendary Kevin Crawford (of Lunasa) earlier who reckons I'm the only trad musician in Birmingham since to reach his level of drinking, which was phenomenol. He had to give it up before it killed him. Maybe that should be a lesson to me?
    randylonghorn wrote: »
    So, Tom, not only a real live girl, but one who wanted you to explore back-alleys with her .... >.<
    Yep, I'm a muppet!
    I'm beginning to think there's a complete lack of communication between your brain and anything below your waist tbh! :P
    My penis makes all my decisions
    I got that ... I don't think too many did.
    I didn't...
    And the way he's going, one of them will be Tom!
    Oi, Muslim virgins are ladies!
    Would explain a lot all right ... :P
    You know, for a high up mod youre very mean to me!


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    #57
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    brummytom wrote: »
    My penis makes all my decisions
    See, there's your problem right there ... IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T!!
    brummytom wrote: »
    Oi, Muslim virgins are ladies!
    Your point being?! :cool:
    brummytom wrote: »
    You know, for a high up mod youre very mean to me!
    High up my ars ... actually, nvm, just in case you get the wrong idea again! >.<

    And someone has to be, if only to spur you on to try harder!! :p:D


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    #58
    LH Pathe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,515 ✭✭✭LH Pathe


    Yeap .. Did you ever just step back; take a breather size up events n say "fûck me."

    .. n some gay dude overhears you n takes it literally n literally takes you; right there n then


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    #59
    MyKeyG
    Registered Users Posts: 2,282 ✭✭✭MyKeyG


    Alley Girl: Tom put it in the hole. You need to give it a good push.
    Tom: I can't it doesn't seem to fit. I don't understand it since it's so hard. Oh wait I think I got it, wow it slid in pretty easy in the end. When do I take it out?
    Alley Girl: Not yet it takes a while just be patient.
    Tom: I know but I'm a little anxious to get going my mates are waiting in the taxi, besides I'm sure you've done this on your own before.
    Alley Girl: But you said you'd do it with me besides we're nearly done.
    Tom: You're right I think it's coming, oh god yes it's coming.
    Alley Girl: Take it out quick.
    Tom: That's the last time I use an ATM pissed out of my head!!!


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