You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel

smoke.me.a.kipper · 24-05-2004 01:40PM

i am so smart. i am so smart. S. M. R. T. i mean S. M. A. R. T.

Trip Hazard · 24-05-2004 02:00PM

Homer: LISA, Keep that racket down

Lisa: Dad, i'm practicing

Homer: I'll practice you

Lisa: I'll practice you, is that some kind of treat.

Milhouse has cooties................their called lice and their nothing to be ashamed of.

Homer: hello, my name is Mr. Burns.

Clerk: eh, whats your first name,

Homer: I dont Know

Homer: Honey can you open the window the police have daddy's prints on file.

Forgein man with cart: CLAVECALACH

Homer: give me one bowl

Forgein man with cart: NO BOWL, STICK STICK...

Homer: Got anything to drink

Forgein man with cart: Mountain Dew or crab juice

Homer: eeeewyyyyooooo, I'll have a crab juice.

mob · 24-05-2004 03:13PM

Butter up that bacon
Bacon up that sasauge

Exit · 24-05-2004 04:25PM

Me so hungy

funky penguin · 24-05-2004 04:51PM

Originally posted by ubu
Homer: 'oh, they have the internet on computers now'

The Internet!? That thing still around?

funky penguin · 24-05-2004 04:53PM

Originally posted by funky penguin
The Internet!? That thing still around?

Rex Banner: " Okay rummy, i'm gonna tell it to you plain and simple. Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger soakin suds on the side?"

Harry2001 · 24-05-2004 06:03PM

Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.
Burns: Excellent.

[Anthony Hopkins is wheeled in restrained a la Hannibal Lecter]
Hopkins: Excellent. [hisses]

Burns: Next!

[William Shatner appears, dressed as Captain Kirk]
Shatner: Ex...cel-lent!

Burns: Next!
Homer: Exactly. Heh, heh...d'oh!
Burns: Next!
Chespirito: Exellente!
Spielbergo: Es muy bueno.
Burns: Oh, it's hopeless. I'll have to play myself.

RobertFoster · 24-05-2004 06:56PM

Spielbergo: Schlindler es bueno, Señor Burns es el diablo.

--

Rex Banner: You're out there Beer Baron, and I'm going to get you....
Homer (off in the distance): No you wont...
Rex Banner: ...Yes I will.
Homer (off in the distance): Won't...

Kappar · 24-05-2004 07:05PM

OK we were sitting in the back of Barney's car eating packets of mustard.

Buck Owens · 24-05-2004 08:00PM

Homer: Hey there's a NEW Mexico

Lenny: Hey Frank, I'm Lenny, This is Carl and Homer, I'm Lenny!

Homer: Sombody had to take the babysitter home. Then i noticed she was sitting on her (edit) HER SWEET CAN.So i grabbed(EDIT) HER SWEET CAN.(Edit) oh just thinking about her(edit) her can,her can, her can, her S-S-Sweet Can!

Guy: Cows do'nt look like cows on screen, you gotta use Horses
Ralph: what do you use if you want a horse
Guy: Eh, we uually just tape a bunch of cats together.

Marge: Homer is this how you pictured Married Life
Homer: yea pretty much except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Tall Guy: do find something comical about my appearence when I am driving an automobile.

Alien Clinton: My fellow americans, when I was young I dreamed of being a baseball, but then i realised that we must move forward not backwards,Upward not downward and always twirling, twirling towards freedom!!!:D

gaui3d0pnbz86o · 24-05-2004 09:00PM

if a cow had the chance, he'd kill you and eveeyone you'd care about! [troy mclure voiceover on film]

me fail english, thats unpossible![ralph]

latex comdoms, boy id sure like to live in one of those[grandpa]

i bent my wookie[ralph again!]

one false move and its kablammo! oh no im out of ammo! bye!! [sung by snakes]

im a torso [ todd]

flogen · 24-05-2004 09:43PM

one from todays episode:
Lisa: Dad! that hat makes serious comments about your connection with rastafarian music
Homer: Please, I've been safarian since before you were born.

and

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins
Homer Simpson, Smiling politely

Flogen

Mikill · 24-05-2004 10:02PM

Homer: What about me? You didn't thank me.
Bart: You didn't do anything.
Homer: But I like being thanked.

The Episode where Homer is the conductor on the monorail
Marge: I've brought somebody to help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: It's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
Marge: It's NOT Batman.

Homer: Well, I hope you've learnt your lesson Lisa,
never help anyone.

acid · 24-05-2004 10:22PM

Lisa: I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. So, will be you lecturing from a standardized text or using the more socratic method of interactive class participation?

Homer: ..............Yes, Lisa. Daddy's a teacher.

Principal Skinner : Up yours, children!

Heathen · 24-05-2004 10:25PM

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose : it's how drunk you get."

funky penguin · 24-05-2004 11:11PM

Look Marge! Maggie lost her baby legs!

The Song Thrush · 25-05-2004 12:05AM

If he's so smart, then why is he dead?

pork99 · 25-05-2004 01:04AM

Originally posted by Creature
The Homer's brain quotes are among the best imo

Homer about to sit an exam:

"OK brain you don't like me and I don't like you. But let's get through this together and I can get back to killing you with alcohol"

Chinafoot · 25-05-2004 01:25AM

Ralph: hi principal skinner. hi super nintendo chalmers.

funky penguin · 25-05-2004 01:22PM

Originally posted by pork99
Homer about to sit an exam:

"OK brain you don't like me and I don't like you. But let's get through this together and I can get back to killing you with alcohol"

Brain: "It's a deal!"

Dave · 25-05-2004 06:50PM

Bart: Dad, what's a muppet?

Homer: Well it's not quite a mop and it's no quite a puppet, but man, hahahahahaha. To answer you're question, I don't know.

pork99 · 25-05-2004 07:08PM

"Look out Itchy! He's Irish!"

Zapper · 25-05-2004 08:23PM

"Hi Principal Skinner. Hi Super-Nintendo Cahlmers!"

"Oh boy, sleep! That's where i'm a viking!"

RobertFoster · 25-05-2004 10:42PM

*Marge touches Ralphs shoulder*
Ralph: Ah! She's touching me in my special area!

mycroft · 26-05-2004 11:39AM

Lisa Bart do you know what this means?!?!

Bart Yes The dead have risen and are voting Republican!!!

The Song Thrush · 26-05-2004 08:09PM

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm... now."

"The number you have dialled can no longer be reached from this phone, you neglegant monster."

TheSonOfBattles · 26-05-2004 08:25PM

Mr. Burns: "That's odd! The blood usually gets off at the next floor"
___________________________________________________

Grandpa: "We have to kill the boy"
Lisa: "How did you know he was a vampire Grandpa?"
Grandpa: "He's a vampire!!! AAHHHHH!!!"
____________________________________________________

Marge: "Oh NO!!! We're to late" (After seeing that the monorail is already active)
Scientist: "I really shouldn't have stopped for that haircut"

segadreamcast · 26-05-2004 11:18PM

Marge: You killed Zombie Flanders!
Homer: That was a zombie?

Homer: It's a ring toss game...

Homer: I guess you could say he's barking up the wrong bush - heh heh heh.
Brain: There it is Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody was around to hear it

The Real B-man · 26-05-2004 11:59PM

the episode where Bart & lisa take a test on which factors of itchy and scratchy they like by turning a Knob

Ralph:"My Knob Taste's Funny"

TheSonOfBattles · 27-05-2004 02:16AM

Bart: "Take him away boys"

Chief Wiggum: "Hey, that's my line. Bake him away toys!"

Officer Lou: "What'd you say Chief?"

Chief Wiggum: "Just do what the boys says Lou"

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel

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