You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel

Dr. Nick

post classic simpson lines here......

Töpher

I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge.

*walks off*

Beef

It's a ring toss game

Kappar

MARGE IS LISA AT CAMP GRANADA?

Duffman

Mmmmmm... floorpie!

Mmmmmm... unexplained bacon...

sound_wave

...so i said, Red M&Ms Blue M&Ms...They all come out the same colour..

D-Generate

As the great Kang said, "Holy Flurking Schnit an Avatar theif above me!!"

Well no, that was kinda paraphrased, was really "Holy Flurking Schnit, what the hell was that?"

Homer: Now we need code names. I'll be cue ball, Skinner can be eight ball, Barney will be twelve ball, and Moe, you can be cue ball!
Moe: You're an idiot

mwnger

-"Oh, I'm gonna lose my job just cos I'm dangerously unqualified..."

Dr. Nick

classics all. keep 'em coming......

Guy:Incognito

mmmmmmmm......................something

mmmmmmmm......................fee goo

The Real B-man

Chief Wigum - "Good work Lou, you'll make sergeant for that!"

Officer Lou - "But Chief I already am sergeant!"

Chief Wigum - "Quiet Lou, or I'll bust you down to sergeant so fast your feet won't even touch the ground!"

Simi

"Sir someboby is charging room service to the company." "We'll see about that. Fly my pretties! Fly!" "Ah ah ahhhhhhhhhh!" "Continue the research..."

Creature

Homer: Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?

funky penguin

"If dolphins are so smart, how come they live in igloos?" Homer

"Guess how many boobs I saw today marge. Fifteen!" Homer

"I'm not usually a praying man, but if your up there, please help me superman!! Homer

"Save me Jebus!" Surprise, surprise....it was Homer.

dod

Lisa: Oedipus is the one who killed his father and married his mother
Homer: Argh! who paid for that wedding?

--

Lisa: Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity! Aaaaa!

Buck Owens

Reporter: Uh, question for the BBQ chef:don't you think there is a danger in senting underqualified civilians into space
Homer: I'll take this one. The only danger is that if they sent us to that terrible planet of the apes.
Homer; Wait a minute, STAUTE OF LIBERTY THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!

HOMER: So, Mr. Molloy, it seems that the cat was caught by the very person that was trying to catch him.

More to come

Falkorre

Lisa - "I am the lizard queen!"
Lisa - "Cant talk,..coming down!"



B

Originally posted by funky penguin
"If dolphins are so smart, how come they live in igloos?"

I believe that was the Cathy lee Gifford episode of south park. Cant remember that from the simpsons.

Karl Hungus

Concerning the giant advertising statues that gain a life of their own in that halloween special...

Homer - "Hmm... He came to life... ...Good for him."

Or

Otto - "They call 'em fingers! But I ain't never seen 'em fing!"

Bart - "You killed the zombie flanders!"
Homer - "He was a zombie?"

Homer - "Life is one crushing defeat after another untill you just wished Flanders was dead."

Flanders - "Homer, I think we just hit something..."
Homer - "I hope it was flanders!"

The "I'll be cueball..." quote also well rocked.
That episode was filled with great quotes.

"Can you swing a sack of doorknobs?"
"Can I!"
"Here's the sack, but you'll have to supply your own knobs..."

"You let me down... I don't beleive in nothin' no more! I'M GOING TO LAW SCHOOL!"
"NooooOOoOoooOO!!!"

Exit

Homer searches under the couch for a peanut he dropped.

Homer: Hmm...ow, pointy! Eww, slimy. Oh, moving! Ah-ha! Oh, twenty dollars...I wanted a peanut!
Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Creature

The Homer's brain quotes are among the best imo


Burns: I've built a totally germ free enviroment, not a a single microbe can get in or out

a series of doors open to a room with Homer sitting on a stool eating a sandwich

Burns: Who the devil are you?!

Homer's brain: Relax just think of a good excuse and everything will be alright

Homer: My name is Mr. Burns

Homer's brain: Braaaavo

---

Woman: So Mr. Simpson what are your reasons for wanting to be a Bigger Brother?

Homer's brain: Don't say revenge, don't say revenge, don't say revenge!

Homer: Revenge

Homer's brain: Thats it I'm getting outta here.

hear a door opening then slam shut followed by footsepts going down stairs and another door opening and a car driving away

funky penguin

Originally posted by Jabba
I believe that was the Cathy lee Gifford episode of south park. Cant remember that from the simpsons.

hmmmmm....perhaps it was.
But i can still picture homer saying it to lisa.
T'was probably a dream.

Stark

Bridget Jone's diary author(can't remember her name) guest starring:

"Americans don't quite get the subtly of British humour".
(Followed by montage of constables chasing her back and forth through the house in old-style comic fashion with batons and old-style chase music).

Simi

"Eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding."
"Ok pie i'm just going to go like this (chomp) and if u get eaten its your own fault..."
"When I was 17 I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good I purchased with a fake ID, my name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listening to Queen, when I was 17."

Kali

dental plan.
lisa needs braces.

Chinafoot

i love the one where homer is comparing women to beer and then it cuts to when he's hammered.

"so i was like.....you want your money, you're gonna have to come find it, cos i dont know where it is.................you make me....wannna.....wretch"


moe: you people disgust me. hey Apu, you got any cereal for people with syphillis?"

plastic membrane

Homer's postcard: Maybe its the beer talking Marge, but you gotta butt that won't quit. They got these little pretzels here, err zzzz hhuuu 10 DOLLARS ! GET OUTTA HERE !

Bart: Wow, side of dad ive never seen.

ubu

Homer: 'oh, they have the internet on computers now'

penguinbloke

Lisa I never apologise, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am.

smoke.me.a.kipper

'i am evil homer... i am evil homer...'

Kali

nacho nacho man.. i want to be a nacho man

smoke.me.a.kipper

i am so smart. i am so smart. S. M. R. T. i mean S. M. A. R. T.

Trip Hazard

Homer: LISA, Keep that racket down

Lisa: Dad, i'm practicing

Homer: I'll practice you

Lisa: I'll practice you, is that some kind of treat.

---

Milhouse has cooties................their called lice and their nothing to be ashamed of.

---

Homer: hello, my name is Mr. Burns.

Clerk: eh, whats your first name,

Homer: I dont Know

---

Homer: Honey can you open the window the police have daddy's prints on file.

---

Forgein man with cart: CLAVECALACH

Homer: give me one bowl

Forgein man with cart: NO BOWL, STICK STICK...

Homer: Got anything to drink

Forgein man with cart: Mountain Dew or crab juice

Homer: eeeewyyyyooooo, I'll have a crab juice.

mob

Butter up that bacon
Bacon up that sasauge

Exit

Me so hungy

funky penguin

Originally posted by ubu
Homer: 'oh, they have the internet on computers now'

The Internet!? That thing still around?

funky penguin

Originally posted by funky penguin
The Internet!? That thing still around?

Rex Banner: " Okay rummy, i'm gonna tell it to you plain and simple. Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger soakin suds on the side?"

Harry2001

Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.
Burns: Excellent.

[Anthony Hopkins is wheeled in restrained a la Hannibal Lecter]
Hopkins: Excellent. [hisses]

Burns: Next!

[William Shatner appears, dressed as Captain Kirk]
Shatner: Ex...cel-lent!

Burns: Next!
Homer: Exactly. Heh, heh...d'oh!
Burns: Next!
Chespirito: Exellente!
Spielbergo: Es muy bueno.
Burns: Oh, it's hopeless. I'll have to play myself.

RobertFoster

Spielbergo: Schlindler es bueno, Señor Burns es el diablo.

--

Rex Banner: You're out there Beer Baron, and I'm going to get you....
Homer (off in the distance): No you wont...
Rex Banner: ...Yes I will.
Homer (off in the distance): Won't...

Kappar

OK we were sitting in the back of Barney's car eating packets of mustard.

Buck Owens

Homer: Hey there's a NEW Mexico

Lenny: Hey Frank, I'm Lenny, This is Carl and Homer, I'm Lenny!

Homer: Sombody had to take the babysitter home. Then i noticed she was sitting on her (edit) HER SWEET CAN.So i grabbed(EDIT) HER SWEET CAN.(Edit) oh just thinking about her(edit) her can,her can, her can, her S-S-Sweet Can!

Guy: Cows do'nt look like cows on screen, you gotta use Horses
Ralph: what do you use if you want a horse
Guy: Eh, we uually just tape a bunch of cats together.

Marge: Homer is this how you pictured Married Life
Homer: yea pretty much except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Tall Guy: do find something comical about my appearence when I am driving an automobile.

Alien Clinton: My fellow americans, when I was young I dreamed of being a baseball, but then i realised that we must move forward not backwards,Upward not downward and always twirling, twirling towards freedom!!!:D

gaui3d0pnbz86o

if a cow had the chance, he'd kill you and eveeyone you'd care about! [troy mclure voiceover on film]

me fail english, thats unpossible![ralph]

latex comdoms, boy id sure like to live in one of those[grandpa]

i bent my wookie[ralph again!]

one false move and its kablammo! oh no im out of ammo! bye!! [sung by snakes]

im a torso [ todd]

flogen

one from todays episode:
Lisa: Dad! that hat makes serious comments about your connection with rastafarian music
Homer: Please, I've been safarian since before you were born.

and

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins
Homer Simpson, Smiling politely

Flogen

Mikill

Homer: What about me? You didn't thank me.
Bart: You didn't do anything.
Homer: But I like being thanked.

---

The Episode where Homer is the conductor on the monorail
Marge: I've brought somebody to help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: It's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
Marge: It's NOT Batman.

---

Homer: Well, I hope you've learnt your lesson Lisa,
never help anyone.

acid

Lisa: I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. So, will be you lecturing from a standardized text or using the more socratic method of interactive class participation?

Homer: ..............Yes, Lisa. Daddy's a teacher.





Principal Skinner : Up yours, children!

Heathen

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose : it's how drunk you get."

funky penguin

Look Marge! Maggie lost her baby legs!

The Song Thrush

If he's so smart, then why is he dead?

pork99

Originally posted by Creature
The Homer's brain quotes are among the best imo

Homer about to sit an exam:

"OK brain you don't like me and I don't like you. But let's get through this together and I can get back to killing you with alcohol"

Chinafoot

Ralph: hi principal skinner. hi super nintendo chalmers.

funky penguin

Originally posted by pork99
Homer about to sit an exam:

"OK brain you don't like me and I don't like you. But let's get through this together and I can get back to killing you with alcohol"

Brain: "It's a deal!"