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Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)
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I want to apologise to anyone here, who may have or know anybody with BPD. I am not put off at all by anyone with it. No way! But, I was just advised not to get romantically involved with someone with it. I have seen the affects myself. I do know some with it, but I have never seen them suffer from it.
I'm responding to what you said, but just edited things to be a bit tidy cos I can blather on a bit.
It sounds like you ran into a toxic group of individuals, and tbh, I've had similar experiences with those types of people, both online and in my own personal life.
There are some people who get off on playing games-mind games and so on-and it's this bullying mentality, in certain respects, that they don't grow out of. Often projecting insecurities onto others.
I had similar experiences, in my case someone started cyber harassing me and then doing similar in person. She would get drunk, and just absolutely lambast me or others. When I just decided to ignore her and block her when I finally had enough, she started attacking her friends and an ex-girlfriend, giving her a massive black eye.
Another one, she played a lot of mind games-as in she was dating another guy, but would get ticked off if I called her a friend. I couldn't mention female friends around her, because I would notice she would get jealous.
(Honestly, I found all this bizarre-she had a good job, the guy she was dating was a good guy and I'd even met him a few times. I was nobody in comparison-I just treated her like a friend).
I worked alongside someone who wouldn't give me credit for the work I did or the ideas I submitted-instead choosing to credit someone else.. (I literally found out when I saw a rough draft of the final work project). He didn't even tell me in person, and then proceeded to be a jerk to me online. (He was out sick the day the ideas had been done and submitted, everyone else bar him and the person credited agreed on the credit, just because he wasn't there he made some assumption and then refused to take the 10 minutes to fix it).
The guy would often make disgusting jokes in front of people at my expense, his most egregious was that I was 'trying to take his virginity'... He's married with a kid, and was in his 40s at the time.
A friend of mine has some horror stories where he works. He was planning a trip abroad, either Cambodia or Brazil. When two co-workers found out, they started making accusations accusing him of being a paedophile, and another saying something like 'I half expect you to turn up to work one day and shoot up the place'.
Some people are just poison. I know it's hard to move on, but I would move on from these people. They sound like not nice folks, tbh. If they know your own problems, as well as sharing your personal info and other stuff behind the scenes, lose em like a bad phone.0 -
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RabbleRouser2k wrote: »I'm responding to what you said, but just edited things to be a bit tidy cos I can blather on a bit.
It sounds like you ran into a toxic group of individuals, and tbh, I've had similar experiences with those types of people, both online and in my own personal life.
There are some people who get off on playing games-mind games and so on-and it's this bullying mentality, in certain respects, that they don't grow out of. Often projecting insecurities onto others.
I had similar experiences, in my case someone started cyber harassing me and then doing similar in person. She would get drunk, and just absolutely lambast me or others. When I just decided to ignore her and block her when I finally had enough, she started attacking her friends and an ex-girlfriend, giving her a massive black eye.
Another one, she played a lot of mind games-as in she was dating another guy, but would get ticked off if I called her a friend. I couldn't mention female friends around her, because I would notice she would get jealous.
(Honestly, I found all this bizarre-she had a good job, the guy she was dating was a good guy and I'd even met him a few times. I was nobody in comparison-I just treated her like a friend).
I worked alongside someone who wouldn't give me credit for the work I did or the ideas I submitted-instead choosing to credit someone else.. (I literally found out when I saw a rough draft of the final work project). He didn't even tell me in person, and then proceeded to be a jerk to me online. (He was out sick the day the ideas had been done and submitted, everyone else bar him and the person credited agreed on the credit, just because he wasn't there he made some assumption and then refused to take the 10 minutes to fix it).
The guy would often make disgusting jokes in front of people at my expense, his most egregious was that I was 'trying to take his virginity'... He's married with a kid, and was in his 40s at the time.
A friend of mine has some horror stories where he works. He was planning a trip abroad, either Cambodia or Brazil. When two co-workers found out, they started making accusations accusing him of being a paedophile, and another saying something like 'I half expect you to turn up to work one day and shoot up the place'.
Some people are just poison. I know it's hard to move on, but I would move on from these people. They sound like not nice folks, tbh. If they know your own problems, as well as sharing your personal info and other stuff behind the scenes, lose em like a bad phone.
I'm only after reading this, so apologies for the late reply. Those people sound very unpleasant indeed, especially the girl. It sounds like she has some sort of issues. Well, it must be something, if she resorts to treating people the way she treated you. It's not right.
As for the others, they're just nasty, especially the two co-workers. Even to make a joke against someone calling them a 'paedophile' could result in legal action, if your friend was really affected by that. It's not the sort of thing to refer to innocent people as.
As for the group, well, yeah, they're probably best avoided. A recent apology was read, but wasn't replied to by one of the girls. What happened between me and the girl I dated, even though I overreacted and did something stupid, it shouldn't have resulted in being blocked the way I was. Up until around a month ago, everything was fine. We were all getting on very well. And, I have known them since late last year.
I do feel there was more going on behind the scenes, i.e. I was being talked about. The girl with the BPD has responded to an apology I made a few months months back saying something along the lines that we will never be friends, and that I treated her badly. Well, her behaviour those nights put me off. It was her final word saying that she would hurt me the way that I hurt her. That being emotionally, of course.
It makes me wonder whether she said stuff about me to the others. For example, she had apparently told them that I was aggressive towards her, which is total BS. They know the story because I told them. It's like as if they were just waiting for some excuse to get rid of me. Maybe I'm just overthinking that part, but Lord knows. A stupid act, and now things are in a mess. It doesn't help that I still have strong feelings for the girl I dated, but her friend now is just ignoring me (she still has me as a friend on Facebook), as have a couple of others been.
One of the group was very nice to me on a recent night out, as I said before, as if she is not bothered by the drama. She went as far to ask if I was ok, etc. She is best friends with one of the girls ignoring me, who is friends with the one I dated. I am likely to see the group, or even a couple from the group at other events, other than those they organise. I can stay away no problem, if they continue to ignore me. There will be others that I know, and new faces to meet.0 -
RabbleRouser2k wrote: »I hate to be the bearer of awful opinions, or the ugly other side of the coin-but it often doesn't work out that way. It seriously doesn't.
A friend of mine chose the wrong course, and got in way over his head. Did the societies, took on a ton of workload, and eventually spent a month in hospital with a massive nervous and physical breakdown. Everything that could go wrong, did. He dropped out. And that was after about 4 months.
And he's not the sole story..
It's seen as the be all end all, in fact it's the opposite. Many who 'graduate' never find work in their chosen program. A combo of wrong training our already outdated skills.
Work on yourself-nothing else's gonna help out there.
Perhaps but I think it's very important right now that Shpud can have something positive to look towards and be hopeful about. It's not wise to mention the potential downside. Edited to add that while third level is most definitely not a fix or the be all and end all, pointing out how it can all go wrong to a young lad who is struggling isn't very helpful. I don't mean to be harsh
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