I'm sure it's been asked a million times

limericklad87 · 06-07-2019 12:50pm #1

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

lawred2 · 06-07-2019 12:51pm

A week ago? Routines?

What exactly were you expecting?

The best way to look at it is this - whatever the pattern is for a healthy one week old infant is - that's normal.

As long as the child is being fed - don't be worrying about routines.

Congrats to you both anyway.

Sittingpretty · 06-07-2019 12:52pm

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

Yup, there is zero routine with a newborn, they say jump, you say how high at this stage!

Congratulations on your new arrival

limericklad87 · 06-07-2019 12:54pm

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

lawred2 · 06-07-2019 12:56pm

Also pay little attention to others when they tell you of how their little ones slept all the time.

Revisionist bollocks is usually what that is

Sittingpretty · 06-07-2019 1:01pm

limericklad87 wrote: »

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

Ah you can’t have bad habits with a newborn

It’s a very demanding time but it’s absolutely brilliant also, enjoy all the newborn loveliness

PhoenixParker · 06-07-2019 1:07pm

With a one week old the priority is to work on night and day by making a clear difference between the two.

khaldrogo · 06-07-2019 1:16pm

All I would say is try to avoid letting them sleep on you as they won't want to sleep anywhere else if they get in the habit

Gimme A Pound · 06-07-2019 1:17pm

lawred2 wrote: »

A week ago? Routines?

What exactly were you expecting?

The best way to look at it is this - whatever the pattern is for a healthy one week old infant is - that's normal.

As long as the child is being fed - don't be worrying about routines.

Congrats to you both anyway.

"What exactly" do you have to be so curt for?

iamwhoiam · 06-07-2019 1:23pm

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

They nearly always sleep well for the first few days as they are exhausted and often are yellow from a high bilirubin( which makes them drowsy ) .It lulls people into thinking its their pattern but then they wake up on day five or so and announce themselves !
Congratulations , enjoy her .

lawred2 · 06-07-2019 1:39pm

Gimme A Pound wrote: »

"What exactly" do you have to be so curt for?

That wasn't curt. Don't be so sensitive or reading things that aren't there.

Milly33 · 06-07-2019 1:47pm

Congrats to you and haha prepare for the big divide ans to your questions...

Id be like nip it in the bud, even do a bit a research on previous threads on here ( I am amazed really people are still think they way they do) start as you mean to carry on.. Do want ye prefer to do but it isnt rocket science.. Much the same as screen time

Option A - Let baby fall asleep in your arms every night before bed, feed them to sleep, let them choose their nap times all great but be prepared for the later months when you may actually like to do something and baby wont sleep without ye, or try weaning to perhaps give a bottle at night or have your partner do the night fed... It is all doable but be prepared for it not to happen just like that..

Option B - Get baby into good routine from day one.. let baby figure out how to fall asleep or soothe themselves, nice peaceful routine. Not saying this is easy to do but think about in the long run and ye.. While it is all about the baby dont forget about ye

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 06-07-2019 1:55pm

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

Do not obsess with routines. Even later on, while routines can be very good, do not obsess with them. Regardless of what granny or whoever did what they did back in the day. Your childs stomach is tiny, so she cannot eat as much as you would think in one sitting, therefore she needs to feed quite often.

Let your child sleep, don't wake her for a feed. She'll sleep 18 hours a day. Personally, I would let her sleep where she wishes, be that on you or in a cot/pram etc. Just be wary about spending too much time in a bouncer or car seat (It's recommended that infants are not left to sleep in the car seat, I don't think it's great for their back).

limericklad87 wrote: »

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

Bad habits with a newborn? People that give you that advice need to be ignored, even if that's your immediate family.

PhoenixParker wrote: »

With a one week old the priority is to work on night and day by making a clear difference between the two.

Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.

khaldrogo wrote: »

All I would say is try to avoid letting them sleep on you as they won't want to sleep anywhere else if they get in the habit

More rubbish. Old wives tales people still cling to for whatever reason. New borns cannot be spoiled, they do not have habits. They need to be held and comforted. They do not require sleep training or any of that rubbish. They cry for a reason, and that reason is not to annoy you.

This forum can be great, but there's so much ignorance and incorrect information posted on here and stated as fact that you need to be careful what you take on. Ultimately it's your decision what you follow.

I would suggest checking out https://www.babycentre.co.uk/ (Specifically here for your 1 week old) for some information on the different stages of your childs life. There are leaps etc which we found to be quite accurate when it came to timing. Not all children will go through a leap at the same time.

Oh and one thing that might seem super obvious but some people may not be aware of, wipe front to reduce the risk of UTI.

There's a lot to take on so absolutely reach out for support when you need it. Also, remember you are the parent, it's your rules. Don't let people bully you into doing something you are not comfortable with just because "sure that's how we used to do it".

scarepanda · 06-07-2019 2:09pm

Personally I'd follow baby's lead for the first few weeks. I don't personally believe you can spoil or give baby bad habits in the first few weeks. They are quite demanding of what they want/like and don't want/like. The 'forth trimester' has certainly applied to both mine. Is baby being breastfed? I've breastfed both mine, so I don't know what would be best for formula fed babies.

For us, for breastfeeding, I've just gone with the flow with sleep and feeds. I don't keep a strict nap schedule, both mine have gotten used to sleeping on the go so I don't necessarily work my day around nap times, but try to get a feed and change in before I head off anywhere.

As for bedtime routine, they don't have any set schedule at first, days and nights just run into each other. I didn't try establish or set a bed time till about 3 months. I nurse to sleep at first and gradually settle into the cot more awake over a couple of months till fully awake.

Always remember, just when you think you have a good routine set they will have a leap or start cutting teeth or some such and you'll have to figure it all out again!

shesty · 06-07-2019 2:23pm

No.Don't go there.

My only aim for the first six weeks is to teach them the difference between night and day (tough at this time of year).I generally do that by keeping lights low or off at night, nightime feeds are non-speaking (mostly coz I can't!!!).On my first we used to religiously change her when she woke and then feed (bottle).My second two were just pulled into the bed with me and breastfed.I did change them if I felt the nappy was heavy but honestly I usually just did it on the bed.Lamp had to go on if there was puke or poo (it happens at 4am), but I kept it low and turned it off when done.I am a creature of habit so would bring them up to bed with me which was generally the same time each night (round 9pm at that point!!), which eventually gave them that habit.

Some people are lucky and have babies that easily learn to self settle and go to bed at 7pm from early on.I viewed it as a total waste of my time to be sitting by a bed for 2/3 hours waiting for them to work it out at that age.Fourth trimester is definitely a good thing to research.It applied here, and around 11/12 weeks we gently started to bring in a routine around naps and bedtime and quite quickly, the baby shows you what they can tolerate..Mine started to stretch sleeping 5/6 hours at night from 5 weeks (including the breastfed ones)...just let nature take it's course.You have time, loads of it.For what it's worth mine all slept most nights from about 12 weeks, few wakings, few bad nights, but in general I couldn't complain too much compared to some of what I've heard.Enjoy these few weeks, snuggle her and just go with her flow.There is plenty of time to worry about routines.

One observation about the first six weeks-they tend to be in a newborn coma the first ten days or so, then the digestive system (wind...) starts to kick in round 2/3 weeks and they wake up!!So next week's routine could be way different to this week's!!!Developmental leaps round ten days, 5/6 weeks are huge too, you will often notice a whingy baby wanting to feed endlessly.Have no expectations of her or yourselves.

osarusan · 06-07-2019 2:32pm

As long as they are getting enough to sleep and enough to eat, don't worry about it.

Routines come later, and you won't be able to put them into place too early. Your baby daughter's body will just tell her (and you) what it needs.

Abba987 · 06-07-2019 2:36pm

limericklad87 wrote: »

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

Please ignore anyone telling you that about a new born. Just enjoy it. They sleep when they sleep and feed when they feed. All id say is make sure they are sleeping in a safe position

Congratulations. Enjoy this wonderful time

Thesiger · 06-07-2019 2:40pm

Can’t remember anything resembling a ‘routine’ until about 12-14 weeks in, with both my kids. Even now, with my eldest approaching four and the other one 15 months, the nights can throw up all sorts of stuff. This is the life we chose.

fits · 06-07-2019 2:58pm

I think it’s a good idea to have dim lights etc at nighttime. We had a family routine ( breakfast at 7, dinner at 6) and the babies fell into a routine around that. But the naps only got into a routine around three months. With breastfeeding it’s really important to follow the babies lead in the early weeks.

fits · 06-07-2019 2:59pm

Oh and congratulations

BarryD2 · 06-07-2019 4:04pm

Callie Hissing Muffler wrote: »

There's a lot to take on so absolutely reach out for support when you need it. Also, remember you are the parent, it's your rules. Don't let people bully you into doing something you are not comfortable with just because "sure that's how we used to do it".

Take advice by all means but also trust your own instincts. If the child or mother is happy with things a certain way, do that. You can't spoil a new born child.

The first year is many would say, most important. I always looked at ours when they were about a year old and marveled at just how much they knew about the world about and just living in human society.

Electric Nitwit · 06-07-2019 5:10pm

Just to echo what everyone else has said, don't worry at all about routine now, it'll come later. Let baba sleep when they want, feed when they want

Make sure you look after yourself too, it can be tough to remember sometimes. Support your partner as much as you can. And if you argue at all, just remember it's probably because you're both tired

PhoenixParker · 06-07-2019 5:28pm

I'm not sure what is rubbish about establishing a clear difference between night and day early on.

Babies are very good at recognising and responding to patterns and for a parents own sanity getting day and night straightened out is important and not difficult.

As others have said dim lights at night. Quiet voice, keep to the bedroom, feed and encourage back to sleep. By day keep to day time areas of the house, noisier, brighter, out in the fresh air a bit, people around, talk to and encourage to play on waking. I found it also helped to start building in cues about the transition early on - change of clothes, brush hair, wipe down of hands and face - that sort of thing. Babies learn to recognise that when X happens then Y happens quite quickly.

In terms of routine, I'm not a fan of schedules but I found a routine based around cues from both me and baby emerged and was fairly easy to work with from about 6 weeks.

Mine went baby wakes up, big feed, play time, spot a yawn, little feed, nap . . . Repeat. Play time gradually got longer as the months passed.

Some people do the big feed just before the nap. Things like a nappy change or feeding in a specific spot consistently when you think that sleep time is imminent can start to build an association for a newborn. In a few weeks that can help to let baby know that nap time/night time is coming and form the basis for a routine that’s easy to manage.

Jurgen The German · 06-07-2019 6:25pm

1 word, swaddling. We got it down on number two after two weeks and by 6 - 8 weeks she was sleeping through the night.

khaldrogo · 06-07-2019 6:44pm

Callie Hissing Muffler wrote:

More rubbish. Old wives tales people still cling to for whatever reason. New borns cannot be spoiled, they do not have habits. They need to be held and comforted. They do not require sleep training or any of that rubbish. They cry for a reason, and that reason is not to annoy you.

I've had 2 kids. My partner is a trained nurse and subsequently a trained midwife and lactation consultant.

If you are letting your baby sleep on your warm comfortable body, with your rythmic breathing and constant caressing and then you try to put it on its own in a colder room and a colder bed with a harder than you mattress and pillow they will take a lot longer to settle themselves with you having to go in to settle them a 1000 times a night.

You can do what you like with your kids and we'll do what works with ours.

@OP - every child is different. I gave advise that I found from practice. It may or may not work for you the same as this poster advise/link

Electric Nitwit · 06-07-2019 6:56pm

khaldrogo wrote: »

I've had 2 kids. My partner is a trained nurse and subsequently a trained midwife and lactation consultant.

If you are letting your baby sleep on your warm comfortable body, with your rythmic breathing and constant caressing and then you try to put it on its own in a colder room and a colder bed with a harder than you mattress and pillow they will take a lot longer to settle themselves with you having to go in to settle them a 1000 times a night.

You can do what you like with your kids and we'll do what works with ours.

@OP - every child is different. I gave advice that I found from practice. It may or may not work for you the same as this posters advise/link

I can't claim any expertise compared to that (one 1yr old) but if you let them sleep on you as you say, would they not form a stronger bond with you, and be a more content baby? I genuinely don't know, but I'd like to think so. And if so I think sacrificing my sleep is a price well worth paying

khaldrogo · 06-07-2019 7:21pm

Electric Nitwit wrote:

I can't claim any expertise compared to that (one 1yr old) but if you let them sleep on you as you say, would they not form a stronger bond with you, and be a more content baby? I genuinely don't know, but I'd like to think so. And if so I think sacrificing my sleep is a price well worth paying

Come back to me after a year of sacrificing your sleep and let's see how you feel about it then!!!

Electric Nitwit · 06-07-2019 7:27pm

khaldrogo wrote: »

Come back to me after a year of sacrificing your sleep and let's see how you feel about it then!!!

It's over a year now

It's been really tough at times, not trying to hide that at all. But our little one is a really happy, confident little girl and I feel like we have an incredible bond. I'm not saying that wouldn't been the case if we'd tried to get her to sleep on her own more, but I do wonder.

TheValeyard · 06-07-2019 7:28pm

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

Dude........18months until we got a sleeping routine. Relax.

Edit: congrats. It's an amazing time, but feelings of bewilderment, sleep exhaustion, confusion, fear and uncertainty are perfectly normal.

I'd also honestly say, ignore all books that tell you watch your child should do at what stage. When they are ready, they will do it in their own time, dont stress!

also, when baby sleep, you sleep.

iamwhoiam · 06-07-2019 7:53pm

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

It's over a year now

It's been really tough at times, not trying to hide that at all. But our little one is a really happy, confident little girl and I feel like we have an incredible bond. I'm not saying that wouldn't been the case if we'd tried to get her to sleep on her own more, but I do wonder.

My granddaughter is a really happy confident little girl too . She slept on her own in her cot from a very early age .

bee06 · 06-07-2019 8:01pm

You’ll get 100 different opinions from 100 people when you ask for (or sometimes don’t ask for) advice. Do what feels right for your family.

Anne_cordelia · 06-07-2019 8:14pm

I say cuddle the **** out of that baby. They only stay small for such a short time. Cuddle cuddle cuddle. Let them sleep on you. They will need to be going to bed before you soon enough as the tv and other noises start disturbing them.

fits · 06-07-2019 8:21pm

For me anyway trying to get them to settle away from me for their naps and sleeps would have broken me! Thank god for boobs and cosleeping. I genuinely was relatively well rested despite our challenges. ( although we didn’t start bedsharing until week 7)

If I had a newborn again I’d do a lot more skin to skin from the start. It was difficult to manage it with the two.

maxsmum · 07-07-2019 8:58am

This thread is a prime example of how everybody has opposing advice and you'll be driven up the wall if you try to listen to everyone.
Just follow your own instinct.
And all that leap stuff is a load of rubbish. It's just a rollercoaster, try and stay on, all will be fine.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 08-07-2019 12:39am

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

I can't claim any expertise compared to that (one 1yr old) but if you let them sleep on you as you say, would they not form a stronger bond with you, and be a more content baby? I genuinely don't know, but I'd like to think so. And if so I think sacrificing my sleep is a price well worth paying

Well from our experience, specifically mine, there was no issues with going from sleeping on me to putting him down to bed. It's not going to work with everybody, but it can work. Bonding is incredibly important and I am sure that it has helped a significant amount

I think the sacrifice in sleep is well worth the well being of my child.

maxsmum wrote: »

This thread is a prime example of how everybody has opposing advice and you'll be driven up the wall if you try to listen to everyone.
Just follow your own instinct.
And all that leap stuff is a load of rubbish. It's just a rollercoaster, try and stay on, all will be fine.

Who's opinion piece did you read that told you that? Children go through mental and physical leaps. We are all ok with the physical leaps (growth spurts, vision change, motor development. teething) what's the issue with the mental leaps? As I said before, we found it to be quite accurate. The most accurate was when it suggested in week XX, that our child will start stacking things vertically, low and behold, that week we noticed him stacking items (blocks, toys, things in the garden, his food). It's mostly passive information, you don't have to do anything per say. It's information to help you understand what's going on with your child and how you can help (what games you can play etc).

Is it a wonder why we have such an issue with mental illness in Ireland when we are so dismissive? Just as your body develops, so does your brain. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't make it nonsense.

Sorry about that · 08-07-2019 12:58am

Congratulations Limerick, wonderful time for you both; can also be a little bit devastating in it’s own way too!

You will both figure out what works best for you, and as you can see from the replies here, it’s not an exact science! Lots of love, and both parents on the same page is a great start; what works in one family will be seen as horrific in another, trust me! (I was very attachment-y, but it was not a plan, just happened).

It may seem unrelated, but if you have some support to help with other bits, like laundry, or a couple of dinners, it’ll help you both get through those (sometimes upside down) early days. Take the help.

Neyite · 08-07-2019 11:30am

Congratulations!

Another vote for no routine and let them lead you in what they need. We also did the cuddle to sleep stuff here, but he was colicky so needed it.

One thing I learned was that in the womb the motion when the mother is active (during the day usually) would rock the baby to sleep, and they would often have a lot of their waking time when it was quieter at night. So they come out basically nocturnal and doing what Shesty says of dimming the lights in the evening, and having normal household sounds around during the day will soon phase them out of being nocturnal.

I tried (and failed) to get my son into a routine. It all went swimmingly until about 4pm and then the book and the baby diverged so far from each other the book could have been describing an entirely different species. What I did find around 3-4 months, that he did have his own routine, just not one specified in the books, I just accidentally found it out by noting the sleeps and feeds and changes. We went with that one instead and both of us were far happier!

So for the first few months anyway, go with the flow. Get used to your new arrival and let them get used to your home and you. By all means, try things you think sound like a good idea and have researched but ultimately go with what suits your baby and you as parents.

You'll find (generalising here) that it's often the older generation are mad about routines and strict feeding schedules. And they also often have outdated advice that was 'correct' at their time of new parenting but evidence has since emerged that has changed those guidelines - like positioning them in the cot, the amount of layers you put on a baby etc. They want to help, they did it a certain way in their day and they remember what it was like to be a bit clueless and out of your depth so it is usually well meaning and trying to be helpful but it can be a bit annoying. I found that saying something like "thanks, but the public health nurse said to do it this way" usually fobbed off a lot of their outdated instructions in a nice way.

wildwillow · 08-07-2019 12:03pm

Cuddles are important and some babies, eg with colic, need holding upright on the shoulder for periods after feeding.

But it is important for a baby to learn to put themselves to sleep and self soothe. The danger of always falling sleep in your arms is that they never learn and get distressed when they wake somewhere else. Putting the baby down after a good cuddle, and keeping it close by, even quietly talking to them, is a way of leading them into this routine.

Every baby is different and you know what is best. There are no hard and fast rules and it is true you can't spoil a baby. But you can allow it to have expectations of how things are done so try to steer him or her towards what you can live with. And in new babies, enough sleep is essential. Usually the more they sleep the better.

In a few years you will appreciate a sleeping routine when you can put a toddler to bed and he or she is happy to sing and talk to themselves and get to sleep naturally.

If a baby never learns this you will spend hours rocking them and staying in the room when they are bigger. But some babies and children will never develop a sleep pattern, and it is not your fault.

catch--22 · 08-07-2019 12:27pm

Congrats on your arrival. We have an 8 week old boy - our first. So this is not advice, but it's what we've done in the last 8 weeks for better our worse.

We decided that for the first 6 weeks anything goes. If he's hungry he gets fed. If he cries we cuddle him. When he wants to nap we let him. No routine. This also worked better for our mental health we think.

Now that we're through those crazy 6 weeks we have started a morning and evening routine - but this is only for our benefit at the moment. We don't expect him to be aware of it but we find it helps us in the morning and evenings now that I'm back in work. We give him a bath and a feed and try to get him to sleep in the evenings and allow us to eat together (some nights). The hot weather is playing havoc on his ability to settle but some nights it has been great.

I will say this about letting your baby sleep on you; ours is only 8 weeks old and I already crave the memory of when he would fit perfectly on my chest in a tiny ball and sleep away. They grow so quick and I don't care if its given him a bad habit. I love those cuddles.

bee06 · 08-07-2019 1:11pm

catch--22 wrote: »

I will say this about letting your baby sleep on you; ours is only 8 weeks old and I already crave the memory of when he would fit perfectly on my chest in a tiny ball and sleep away. They grow so quick and I don't care if its given him a bad habit. I love those cuddles.

This is so true. I have an 18 month old and I miss when he used to nap on me when I was on maternity leave. If I’m lucky I might get on nap once a month at the weekend now.

looksee · 08-07-2019 1:24pm

Children are different, babies are different. Even babies within one family are different. My first two were perfect, textbook babies. Slept when I wanted them to, ate all around them, didn't get sick, perfect. I am a genius I thought.

The next one disabused me of this. She didn't sleep, she screamed most of the night and was an angelic charmer during the day. She didn't eat. She was nearly three before we settled down at all and even as a teen she was a picky eater and could stay up half the night. There may have been reasons, possibly food allergy related but there was not the same awareness at the time.

Take each one as they come and do your best. In 5 or 10 years time it will all be a distant memory and new issues will come to frazzle you.

shesty · 08-07-2019 1:49pm

Excellent posts there!!Our first was the tough one, but equally, the arrival of your second, especially if it is close in age to your first, makes you change.Because some of what works when you have one child is utterly bloody useless when you have a second and a toddler to contend with!!

Our theory was the same as catch 22....anything goes to six weeks (except always with the dark room at night), bath/bed routine and a morning dressing routine round 6 weeks on and then gentle intro of nap routine from about 10/12 weeks on.They just seem to settle much better into it at that age,and you become better at reading them.The only other thing I would say is that I always tried to get them to start the night in their basket at the very least-so "bedtime", they always went into their basket beside me, but after nightime feeds they usuall ended up in with me-mostly because they were so bloody windy, they grunted themselves awake in the basket.But that was just my kids, others settle fine!!!

Bell Eve · 09-07-2019 5:58pm

Congratulations! I’ve got a 10 month old little girl so I’m still learning too

From birth we cuddled and let her sleep on us during the day if she happened to fall asleep on us. If she fell asleep in the pram etc., she slept there. At night time we took her to bed when she was ready, not when we wanted her to. She had a great routine and always went into her cot and settled herself to sleep even if fully awake before hand! She was amazing! She even started sleeping for 12 hours at night with only a 15minute wake up for a feed in that time.

And then she turned six months old! We went on a holiday to visit my husband’s family and she was fine. She stuck surprisingly well to her routine. We arrived home and BOOM! Waking three, four, five times a night. Crying and taking 30-60 minutes to settle each time. Four months on and she’s down to waking once or twice but only requiring a quick shhh or a cuddle.

All babies are different! Mine had a fantastic sleep routine and then it all went wrong. Follow your little girl’s lead and just enjoy this time!

kylith · 11-07-2019 9:24pm

I'll echo what everyone says here: don't worry about routines at a week old. Feed on demand, and my PHN said to wake every 3 hours to feed until over birthweight.

When it comes to napping, I did try to not let my little nap on me. What I would do is feed until she went to sleep, then wait for the floppy-arm-stage, about 10 minutes, then wrap her in a warmed swaddle (I put it over my lap under my duvet) so that the cool blanket in her moses basket didn't wake her.

We're at 9 months now, almost. She slept all night for a while, currently she isn't, but we'll get there again. Take one day at a time and remember; no-one really knows anything, all babies are different.

Sheepdish1 · 11-07-2019 9:41pm

Congrats OP

I fed baby when baby wanted to feed and didn't stick to any routine in terms of naps for the first few months. I would have kept close eye when baby was sleeping and placed in a newborn snoozpod a few feet away from my bed

I cuddled baby with skin on skin contact if needed. baby was in my arms a lot as I you can't ''spoil'' a newborn imo, they are just so tiny

I had to be super careful not to fall asleep with baby in the bed so always put baby in its newborn snoozpod when I felt very tired. I always put baby on back to sleep and never sleep in carseat.

Best of luck

Sheepdish1 · 11-07-2019 9:44pm

Oh I used to go back to sleep in the morning when the baby was sleeping too.

annoyedgal · 11-07-2019 10:36pm

The newborn phase is gone in a flash. Savour it fully and enjoy every minute of your own tiny human sleeping on your shoulder ! Read up about the 4th trimester as it explains a lot about newborn sleep and behaviour. And anyone who talks to you about routine with a one week old is not being helpful or realistic.

evil_seed · 12-07-2019 12:44pm

Congrats from a new parent also. Our girl is 2 months old now. Those 2 months flew past so try and savour every moment possible.
What worked for us was feed when they want it, doesn't matter the time. Have them sleep on you if that works. Nothing has come close to that feeling of my daughter snuggling up to me for comfort and protection.

Give 2 fingers to the "experts" and do whatever works for you. We're only starting to try and build a routine now

LegacyUser · 14-07-2019 11:32am

Contrary to many here we started to build routine from about 4 days old (when we switched from breastfeeding to bottle feeding basically). We both felt it’s important to get a routine in early in order to make things easier for ourselves, especially at night as I work away during the week a lot of the time so my wife is minding him alone.

From about 4 weeks on we had pretty much got the feed times the same every day plus/minus an hour with 6 feeds a day. Just gone 8 weeks now and it’s 5 feeds a day at pretty much the same times every day, 4 to 5 hours between feeds. He generally is happy to go the 5 hours between feeds but there is usually one feed we might do after 4 to realign or feed times again and so the last feed at night isn’t too late (generally at around midnight). Someone he might act hungry after say 3 hours but we comfort him with a souther and get him up to the 4 hours at least, aside from the fact it would mess up the feed times routine it’s also too much milk when he is on the bigger sized bottles and he would end up spitting up (a thing he does very little of on the routine we have). He has been sleeping 4 to 5 hours a row at night for many weeks now thankfully with this routine so it means just getting up once at night.

Other things like baths, once a week unless a bad nappy (I saw someone mention a bath every night, that’s far too often and not advisable for a new born - we like to stretch it out to the week as baths are hassle especially as I’m away most of the week.

As for holding him up, my wife and I are having a bit of two and fro on this. I don’t want to spoil him and for our own sanity I think he needs to be able to sleep in the buggy or cot and settling in the cot or bouncer so I push for this whereas my wife will just hold him up and let him sleep so he is getting a bit of both in that line. The advise we get from family members who work in areas with babies is try not to get them too used to being comforted in your arms for long periods. That being said I don’t leave him crying or anything either and would let him fall asleep up but then I put him down quickly after.

Night feeds we found staying in the bedroom made it harder for us so he is brought down stairs, changed on the changing table and fed in the living room. It gives the person feeding a chance to watch some tv also and as we alway keep him sitting up 30 mins after a feed to help digest so it would be a long time sitting in bedroom with no proper chair. It also helps the other person to get some sleep though not a major issue as I’m not there few days or sleep in the other room for work and at weekends my wife tends to sleep in a different room to get better sleep and I do the night feed.

One thing we both agree on is a big no no is sleeping in our bed and this is something we plan on enforcing at all ages, we might bring him in from his cot for few mins for a cuddle before getting him on a weekend morning but that’s it, he sleeps in his cot or the buggy and into his own room by 6 months at the latest even before if we feel he is ready.

I'm sure it's been asked a million times

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