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I'm sure it's been asked a million times

limericklad87

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

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lawred2

A week ago? Routines?

What exactly were you expecting?

The best way to look at it is this - whatever the pattern is for a healthy one week old infant is - that's normal.

As long as the child is being fed - don't be worrying about routines.

Congrats to you both anyway.

Sittingpretty

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

Yup, there is zero routine with a newborn, they say jump, you say how high at this stage!

Congratulations on your new arrival

limericklad87

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

lawred2

Also pay little attention to others when they tell you of how their little ones slept all the time.

Revisionist bollocks is usually what that is

Sittingpretty

limericklad87 wrote: »

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

Ah you can’t have bad habits with a newborn

It’s a very demanding time but it’s absolutely brilliant also, enjoy all the newborn loveliness

PhoenixParker

With a one week old the priority is to work on night and day by making a clear difference between the two.

khaldrogo

All I would say is try to avoid letting them sleep on you as they won't want to sleep anywhere else if they get in the habit

Gimme A Pound

lawred2 wrote: »

A week ago? Routines?

What exactly were you expecting?

The best way to look at it is this - whatever the pattern is for a healthy one week old infant is - that's normal.

As long as the child is being fed - don't be worrying about routines.

Congrats to you both anyway.

"What exactly" do you have to be so curt for?

iamwhoiam

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

They nearly always sleep well for the first few days as they are exhausted and often are yellow from a high bilirubin( which makes them drowsy ) .It lulls people into thinking its their pattern but then they wake up on day five or so and announce themselves !
Congratulations , enjoy her .

lawred2

Gimme A Pound wrote: »

"What exactly" do you have to be so curt for?

That wasn't curt. Don't be so sensitive or reading things that aren't there.

Milly33

Congrats to you and haha prepare for the big divide ans to your questions...

Id be like nip it in the bud, even do a bit a research on previous threads on here ( I am amazed really people are still think they way they do) start as you mean to carry on.. Do want ye prefer to do but it isnt rocket science.. Much the same as screen time

Option A - Let baby fall asleep in your arms every night before bed, feed them to sleep, let them choose their nap times all great but be prepared for the later months when you may actually like to do something and baby wont sleep without ye, or try weaning to perhaps give a bottle at night or have your partner do the night fed... It is all doable but be prepared for it not to happen just like that..

Option B - Get baby into good routine from day one.. let baby figure out how to fall asleep or soothe themselves, nice peaceful routine. Not saying this is easy to do but think about in the long run and ye.. While it is all about the baby dont forget about ye

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

Do not obsess with routines. Even later on, while routines can be very good, do not obsess with them. Regardless of what granny or whoever did what they did back in the day. Your childs stomach is tiny, so she cannot eat as much as you would think in one sitting, therefore she needs to feed quite often.

Let your child sleep, don't wake her for a feed. She'll sleep 18 hours a day. Personally, I would let her sleep where she wishes, be that on you or in a cot/pram etc. Just be wary about spending too much time in a bouncer or car seat (It's recommended that infants are not left to sleep in the car seat, I don't think it's great for their back).

limericklad87 wrote: »

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

Bad habits with a newborn? People that give you that advice need to be ignored, even if that's your immediate family.

PhoenixParker wrote: »

With a one week old the priority is to work on night and day by making a clear difference between the two.

Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.

khaldrogo wrote: »

All I would say is try to avoid letting them sleep on you as they won't want to sleep anywhere else if they get in the habit

More rubbish. Old wives tales people still cling to for whatever reason. New borns cannot be spoiled, they do not have habits. They need to be held and comforted. They do not require sleep training or any of that rubbish. They cry for a reason, and that reason is not to annoy you.

This forum can be great, but there's so much ignorance and incorrect information posted on here and stated as fact that you need to be careful what you take on. Ultimately it's your decision what you follow.

I would suggest checking out https://www.babycentre.co.uk/ (Specifically here for your 1 week old) for some information on the different stages of your childs life. There are leaps etc which we found to be quite accurate when it came to timing. Not all children will go through a leap at the same time.

Oh and one thing that might seem super obvious but some people may not be aware of, wipe front to reduce the risk of UTI.

There's a lot to take on so absolutely reach out for support when you need it. Also, remember you are the parent, it's your rules. Don't let people bully you into doing something you are not comfortable with just because "sure that's how we used to do it".

scarepanda

Personally I'd follow baby's lead for the first few weeks. I don't personally believe you can spoil or give baby bad habits in the first few weeks. They are quite demanding of what they want/like and don't want/like. The 'forth trimester' has certainly applied to both mine. Is baby being breastfed? I've breastfed both mine, so I don't know what would be best for formula fed babies.

For us, for breastfeeding, I've just gone with the flow with sleep and feeds. I don't keep a strict nap schedule, both mine have gotten used to sleeping on the go so I don't necessarily work my day around nap times, but try to get a feed and change in before I head off anywhere.

As for bedtime routine, they don't have any set schedule at first, days and nights just run into each other. I didn't try establish or set a bed time till about 3 months. I nurse to sleep at first and gradually settle into the cot more awake over a couple of months till fully awake.

Always remember, just when you think you have a good routine set they will have a leap or start cutting teeth or some such and you'll have to figure it all out again!

shesty

No.Don't go there.

My only aim for the first six weeks is to teach them the difference between night and day (tough at this time of year).I generally do that by keeping lights low or off at night, nightime feeds are non-speaking (mostly coz I can't!!!).On my first we used to religiously change her when she woke and then feed (bottle).My second two were just pulled into the bed with me and breastfed.I did change them if I felt the nappy was heavy but honestly I usually just did it on the bed.Lamp had to go on if there was puke or poo (it happens at 4am), but I kept it low and turned it off when done.I am a creature of habit so would bring them up to bed with me which was generally the same time each night (round 9pm at that point!!), which eventually gave them that habit.

Some people are lucky and have babies that easily learn to self settle and go to bed at 7pm from early on.I viewed it as a total waste of my time to be sitting by a bed for 2/3 hours waiting for them to work it out at that age.Fourth trimester is definitely a good thing to research.It applied here, and around 11/12 weeks we gently started to bring in a routine around naps and bedtime and quite quickly, the baby shows you what they can tolerate..Mine started to stretch sleeping 5/6 hours at night from 5 weeks (including the breastfed ones)...just let nature take it's course.You have time, loads of it.For what it's worth mine all slept most nights from about 12 weeks, few wakings, few bad nights, but in general I couldn't complain too much compared to some of what I've heard.Enjoy these few weeks, snuggle her and just go with her flow.There is plenty of time to worry about routines.

One observation about the first six weeks-they tend to be in a newborn coma the first ten days or so, then the digestive system (wind...) starts to kick in round 2/3 weeks and they wake up!!So next week's routine could be way different to this week's!!!Developmental leaps round ten days, 5/6 weeks are huge too, you will often notice a whingy baby wanting to feed endlessly.Have no expectations of her or yourselves.

osarusan

As long as they are getting enough to sleep and enough to eat, don't worry about it.

Routines come later, and you won't be able to put them into place too early. Your baby daughter's body will just tell her (and you) what it needs.

Abba987

limericklad87 wrote: »

Thanks very much guys.

When I say routine etc people were saying watch out for bad habits etc so we were a bit conflicted in that regard.

Please ignore anyone telling you that about a new born. Just enjoy it. They sleep when they sleep and feed when they feed. All id say is make sure they are sleeping in a safe position

Congratulations. Enjoy this wonderful time

Thesiger

Can’t remember anything resembling a ‘routine’ until about 12-14 weeks in, with both my kids. Even now, with my eldest approaching four and the other one 15 months, the nights can throw up all sorts of stuff. This is the life we chose.

fits

I think it’s a good idea to have dim lights etc at nighttime. We had a family routine ( breakfast at 7, dinner at 6) and the babies fell into a routine around that. But the naps only got into a routine around three months. With breastfeeding it’s really important to follow the babies lead in the early weeks.

fits

Oh and congratulations

BarryD2

Callie Hissing Muffler wrote: »

There's a lot to take on so absolutely reach out for support when you need it. Also, remember you are the parent, it's your rules. Don't let people bully you into doing something you are not comfortable with just because "sure that's how we used to do it".

Take advice by all means but also trust your own instincts. If the child or mother is happy with things a certain way, do that. You can't spoil a new born child.

The first year is many would say, most important. I always looked at ours when they were about a year old and marveled at just how much they knew about the world about and just living in human society.

Electric Nitwit

Just to echo what everyone else has said, don't worry at all about routine now, it'll come later. Let baba sleep when they want, feed when they want

Make sure you look after yourself too, it can be tough to remember sometimes. Support your partner as much as you can. And if you argue at all, just remember it's probably because you're both tired

PhoenixParker

I'm not sure what is rubbish about establishing a clear difference between night and day early on.

Babies are very good at recognising and responding to patterns and for a parents own sanity getting day and night straightened out is important and not difficult.

As others have said dim lights at night. Quiet voice, keep to the bedroom, feed and encourage back to sleep. By day keep to day time areas of the house, noisier, brighter, out in the fresh air a bit, people around, talk to and encourage to play on waking. I found it also helped to start building in cues about the transition early on - change of clothes, brush hair, wipe down of hands and face - that sort of thing. Babies learn to recognise that when X happens then Y happens quite quickly.

In terms of routine, I'm not a fan of schedules but I found a routine based around cues from both me and baby emerged and was fairly easy to work with from about 6 weeks.

Mine went baby wakes up, big feed, play time, spot a yawn, little feed, nap . . . Repeat. Play time gradually got longer as the months passed.

Some people do the big feed just before the nap. Things like a nappy change or feeding in a specific spot consistently when you think that sleep time is imminent can start to build an association for a newborn. In a few weeks that can help to let baby know that nap time/night time is coming and form the basis for a routine that’s easy to manage.

Jurgen The German

1 word, swaddling. We got it down on number two after two weeks and by 6 - 8 weeks she was sleeping through the night.

khaldrogo

Callie Hissing Muffler wrote:

More rubbish. Old wives tales people still cling to for whatever reason. New borns cannot be spoiled, they do not have habits. They need to be held and comforted. They do not require sleep training or any of that rubbish. They cry for a reason, and that reason is not to annoy you.

I've had 2 kids. My partner is a trained nurse and subsequently a trained midwife and lactation consultant.

If you are letting your baby sleep on your warm comfortable body, with your rythmic breathing and constant caressing and then you try to put it on its own in a colder room and a colder bed with a harder than you mattress and pillow they will take a lot longer to settle themselves with you having to go in to settle them a 1000 times a night.

You can do what you like with your kids and we'll do what works with ours.

@OP - every child is different. I gave advise that I found from practice. It may or may not work for you the same as this poster advise/link

Electric Nitwit

khaldrogo wrote: »

I've had 2 kids. My partner is a trained nurse and subsequently a trained midwife and lactation consultant.

If you are letting your baby sleep on your warm comfortable body, with your rythmic breathing and constant caressing and then you try to put it on its own in a colder room and a colder bed with a harder than you mattress and pillow they will take a lot longer to settle themselves with you having to go in to settle them a 1000 times a night.

You can do what you like with your kids and we'll do what works with ours.

@OP - every child is different. I gave advice that I found from practice. It may or may not work for you the same as this posters advise/link

I can't claim any expertise compared to that (one 1yr old) but if you let them sleep on you as you say, would they not form a stronger bond with you, and be a more content baby? I genuinely don't know, but I'd like to think so. And if so I think sacrificing my sleep is a price well worth paying

khaldrogo

Electric Nitwit wrote:

I can't claim any expertise compared to that (one 1yr old) but if you let them sleep on you as you say, would they not form a stronger bond with you, and be a more content baby? I genuinely don't know, but I'd like to think so. And if so I think sacrificing my sleep is a price well worth paying

Come back to me after a year of sacrificing your sleep and let's see how you feel about it then!!!

Electric Nitwit

khaldrogo wrote: »

Come back to me after a year of sacrificing your sleep and let's see how you feel about it then!!!

It's over a year now

It's been really tough at times, not trying to hide that at all. But our little one is a really happy, confident little girl and I feel like we have an incredible bond. I'm not saying that wouldn't been the case if we'd tried to get her to sleep on her own more, but I do wonder.

TheValeyard

limericklad87 wrote: »

We were blessed just over a week ago in welcoming out lovely daughter into this world.

As shiny new parents I was wondering if others here could shine a light on a few questions we have.

Should we be concerned with a sleeping routine yet? For the last few days her sleeping has become a bit erratic. She doesn't seem to want to settle in the moses basket at all anymore but will snooze in your arms with the odd winge now and again. Before this she would settle easy enough and snooze for 2-3 hours easily.

Or since she is so young Do you just let them sleep where they fall at the moment until they realise what night and day is and then work from there?

Thanks

Dude........18months until we got a sleeping routine. Relax.

Edit: congrats. It's an amazing time, but feelings of bewilderment, sleep exhaustion, confusion, fear and uncertainty are perfectly normal.

I'd also honestly say, ignore all books that tell you watch your child should do at what stage. When they are ready, they will do it in their own time, dont stress!

also, when baby sleep, you sleep.

iamwhoiam

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

It's over a year now

It's been really tough at times, not trying to hide that at all. But our little one is a really happy, confident little girl and I feel like we have an incredible bond. I'm not saying that wouldn't been the case if we'd tried to get her to sleep on her own more, but I do wonder.

My granddaughter is a really happy confident little girl too . She slept on her own in her cot from a very early age .

bee06

You’ll get 100 different opinions from 100 people when you ask for (or sometimes don’t ask for) advice. Do what feels right for your family.