Dental plan!

Realt Dearg Sec · 05-02-2017 7:07pm

pumpkin4life wrote: »

That's such a useful gif for when sh1t is going wrong.

Realt Dearg Sec · 05-02-2017 7:11pm

Announcer: The road to the Super Bowl is long, and pointless. I mean, when you think about it.

Homer: Heh heh, football's so great.

Dirty Dingus McGee · 05-02-2017 7:18pm

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Announcer: The road to the Super Bowl is long, and pointless. I mean, when you think about it.

Homer: Heh heh, football's so great.

Bronko Nagurski didn't get no bye weeks.

Realt Dearg Sec · 05-02-2017 7:25pm

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Bronko Nagurski didn't get no bye weeks.

And now he's DEAD!
Well, maybe they're a good thing...

Nerdkiller1991 · 06-02-2017 8:43am

dan1895 · 06-02-2017 11:33am

IF YOU KIDS CAN'T KEEP
YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELVES
I'M GOING TO TURN THIS
CAR AROUND AND THERE'LL
BE NO CAPE CANAVERAL FOR
ANYBODY!

Realt Dearg Sec · 06-02-2017 11:37am

dan1895 wrote: »

IF YOU KIDS CAN'T KEEP
YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELVES
I'M GOING TO TURN THIS
CAR AROUND AND THERE'LL
BE NO CAPE CANAVERAL FOR
ANYBODY!

*Slap!*

THAT'S IT! BACK TO WINNIPEG!!

C14N · 06-02-2017 12:21pm

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

*Slap!*

THAT'S IT! BACK TO WINNIPEG!!

Winnipeg: We were born here, what's your excuse?

Rawr · 06-02-2017 7:42pm

[Homer calls the real estate agent in a rage after finding an Indian burial ground in the basement]

Homer: Mr. Pote, Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn't tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground!

........NO, YOU DIDN'T!

.................Well, that's not my recollection.

Uh-huh... okay, well all right. Good-bye.

[hangs up the phone and turns to Marge]
Homer: He says he mentioned it five or six times.

Los Lobos · 10-02-2017 6:08pm

Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister

Rawr · 16-02-2017 11:56am

Milhouse: (as Abraham Lincoln) I thought that civil war would never end. Now to soothe my head with an evening at Ford's Theater.

(Bart as John Wilkes Booth barges in the door behind him)

Milhouse: Oh, no! John Wilkes Booth!

Bart: Hasta la vista, Abey! (he and Milhouse battle it out)

Homer: (from the seat in the audience) Come on, boy! Finish him off!

(Kids as presidents scream and run away from Bart as John Wilkes Booth)

Bart: You're next, Chester A. Arthur! [after Miss Hoover carries him offstage] Unhand me, Yankee!

AndrewJRenko · 16-02-2017 11:16pm

Warden: The part of the brain that remembers dance steps is also the anger centre. So Juveniles who know how to foxtrot are 10% less likely to commit a double homicide.
Nelson: Who conducted this study!?
Warden: The institute of SHUT YOUR FAT FACE. Now pair up.

Beanntraigheach · 19-02-2017 10:11pm

More creamed corn, Jimbo Junior?

Rawr · 19-02-2017 11:01pm

Beanntraigheach wrote: »

More creamed corn, Jimbo Junior?

Jimbo Jr: This creamed cord tastes like creamed crap!

Lunchlady Bart: Watch the potty mouth honey.

paddylonglegs · 20-02-2017 10:26am

Rawr wrote: »

Lunchlady Bart: .

HAHAHAHA

dr.fuzzenstein · 20-02-2017 7:07pm

suicide_circus · 22-02-2017 5:29pm

My Homer is not a communist

http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140318045209/inciclopedia/images/b/b4/Homer_russian.jpg

Beanntraigheach · 27-02-2017 2:45pm

Japanese Worker 1: Please don't tell my supervisor I have the flu.
Japanese Worker 2: I've been working with a shattered pelvis for three weeks.
*both laugh*

(They put us fat, lazy Westerners to shame!:D)

AndrewJRenko · 28-02-2017 7:55pm

From the Homer as Bigfoot episode;

Reporter: Now, the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, its foul language and, most of all, its indescribable stench.

Nerdkiller1991 · 01-03-2017 2:21am

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

From the Homer as Bigfoot episode;

Reporter: Now, the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, its foul language and, most of all, its indescribable stench.

"HEY, THAT'S A HALF TRUTH!"

Wait...wrong episode.

P.Walnuts · 01-03-2017 2:55am

Homer: Lenny and Carl are never around on Wednesdays and they don’t tell me where they go. It’s like a conspiracy.

Bart: 'A conspiracy, eh? Do you think they might be involved in the Kennedy Assassination in some way?'

Homer: I do..........now

02-03-2017 1:00pm

You've saved Itchy and Scratchy!

02-03-2017 1:03pm

You've save Itchy and Scratchy!!!

pumpkin4life · 02-03-2017 3:34pm

Rawr · 03-03-2017 10:21am

Martin: OK, piglet, start squealing. Where'd you get the lemons for
this lemonade?

Boy: Uh...this is Country Time lemonade mix. There's never been
anything close to a lemon in it, I swear!

Brother: Hey, nobody hassles my little brother.

Martin: Hey! And no one manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Mundt.
Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!

[long pause; the kids look around]

Nelson: Aw, jeez. I never hang out with him, normally.
[throws the brother off Martin]

Martin: [skipping around Nelson and singing]
Hark to the tale of Nelson,
and the boy he loved so dear.
[Nelson takes a swipe at him but misses]
They remained the best of friends For years and years and years.

P.Walnuts · 03-03-2017 6:00pm

Rawr wrote: »

Martin: OK, piglet, start squealing. Where'd you get the lemons for
this lemonade?

Boy: Uh...this is Country Time lemonade mix. There's never been
anything close to a lemon in it, I swear!

Brother: Hey, nobody hassles my little brother.

Martin: Hey! And no one manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Mundt.
Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!

[long pause; the kids look around]

Nelson: Aw, jeez. I never hang out with him, normally.
[throws the brother off Martin]

Martin: [skipping around Nelson and singing]
Hark to the tale of Nelson,
and the boy he loved so dear.
[Nelson takes a swipe at him but misses]
They remained the best of friends For years and years and years.

Put a sprig of sage in your boots and all day it's spicy scent is your reward

strawdog · 04-03-2017 1:44pm

Homer: Lurleen, wait.
Lurleen Lumpkin: Yeah?
Homer: I just wanted to say your song touched me deeply in a way I've never felt before... and which way to the can?

Glenster · 04-03-2017 6:27pm

Lemonade?

Please.

RobbingBandit · 04-03-2017 6:33pm

Shoe and Shoelace one is meaningless without the other.

...__... · 04-03-2017 9:46pm

So I'm the reason they have security phones in all the dorm rooms

Rawr · 05-03-2017 12:51pm

Bart: Wet cement! Is there any sweeter sign? Well, maybe High voltage.

Frink: Hello, son. You want to try the flying motorcycle I just invented?

Bart: No time.

Frink: OK

Bart: This is for the ages.

(flash to futuristic city with people crowded around the word Bart in the concrete)

Woman: Like Stonehenge, this site will forever be a mystery. Who was Bart? And how did he manage to write his name in solid cement?

Man 1: He must have been much smarter than his sister Lisa - about whom we know nothing.

Man 2: Say, let's bring him back to life by using technology! (shoots a ray; Bart materializes)

Bart: Ay, Caramba! (yoyo's)

Man 1: What's normal to him amazes us.

Man 2: He will be our new god.

Everyone: Yay!

paddylonglegs · 07-03-2017 11:54am

Rawr wrote: »

Bart: Wet cement! Is there any sweeter sign? Well, maybe High voltage.

Frink: Hello, son. You want to try the flying motorcycle I just invented?

Bart: No time.

Frink: OK

Bart: This is for the ages.

(flash to futuristic city with people crowded around the word Bart in the concrete)

Woman: Like Stonehenge, this site will forever be a mystery. Who was Bart? And how did he manage to write his name in solid cement?

Man 1: He must have been much smarter than his sister Lisa - about whom we know nothing.

Man 2: Say, let's bring him back to life by using technology! (shoots a ray; Bart materializes)

Bart: Ay, Caramba! (yoyo's)

Man 1: What's normal to him amazes us.

Man 2: He will be our new god.

Everyone: Yay!

I love this. Such a good reference to when you watched a documentary and they explained a big back story, yet couldn't prove any of it!

Heisenberg1 · 17-03-2017 9:16am

Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon. Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.

Realt Dearg Sec · 17-03-2017 1:34pm

All this drinking, violence, destruction of property. Are these the things we think of when we think of the Irish?

elefant · 17-03-2017 1:42pm

Everybody get naked!

17-03-2017 3:08pm

Riddle101 · 17-03-2017 7:30pm

Uh oh, my heart just stopped..... oh, there it goes.

19-03-2017 11:49pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HmeLARiZiA

VonLuck · 20-03-2017 12:09am

Rawr · 20-03-2017 4:00pm

...and this cute little cuddlebug is Pancreatic Cancer!

Skylinehead · 20-03-2017 5:06pm

Rawr wrote: »

...and this cute little cuddlebug is Pancreatic Cancer!

Realt Dearg Sec · 21-03-2017 2:54am

Watch it chowda head!

Riddle101 · 27-03-2017 11:00am

Let's just say it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!!!
Whoops I said the silent part loud and the loud part silent.

suicide_circus · 27-03-2017 11:54am

Mayor Quimby supports revolving-door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob - a man twice convicted of attempted murder. ... Vote Sideshow Bob for Mayor.

EagererBeaver · 30-03-2017 4:13pm

Gas, break, honk. Gas, break, honk. Honk, honk, punch. Gas, gas, gas.

Suryavarman · 31-03-2017 11:02pm

Homer Simpson: Now son, on your first day of school, I'd like to pass on the words of advice my father gave me.

Grampa Simpson: [in Homer's mind, as he remembers] Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a strange man offers you a ride, I say, take it!

Nerdkiller1991 · 01-04-2017 5:56am

Suryavarman wrote: »

Homer Simpson: Now son, on your first day of school, I'd like to pass on the words of advice my father gave me.

Grampa Simpson: [in Homer's mind, as he remembers] Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a strange man offers you a ride, I say, take it!

"LOUSY TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD!"

Dirty Dingus McGee · 01-04-2017 11:21am

Marge: You're being ridiculous.
Homer: Am I, Marge? Am I? Think of the property values. Now we can never say only straight people have been in this house.

P.Walnuts · 01-04-2017 12:48pm

Marge: Homer that crazy lady who lives in the trash pile attacked me again.

Homer: That's not how she tells it

Dental plan!

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