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Greatest Comebacks Thread

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Comments

  • #52
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    bop1977 wrote: »
    At the end of a boards meet up I was talking to a boards lady and for some reason she asks out of the blue:

    Lady: I bet my house is bigger than yours?
    Bop: (looking her square in the face) bigger than which one of my houses?

    Ahh... Celtic tiger where have you gone.

    This is a classic Boardsie thing to do. Some girl wants to bang you by dropping hints about wanting to see your house and you end up bragging about your land and leaving.


  • #53
    Birneybau
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,357 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    These threads always descend into self aggrandisement


  • #54
    Birneybau
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,357 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Wheety wrote: »
    Was in a pub before and one of the lads said his bald head was a solar panel for a sex machine.

    I said "Yeah, and we can all guess where you keep the batteries"

    Where?


  • #55
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    Mam of 4 wrote: »
    Am I the only one who can never think of a great comeback when needs be , but think of brilliant ones later ? :(



  • #56
    the beer revolu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,149 ✭✭✭✭the beer revolu


    Wheety wrote: »
    Was in a pub before and one of the lads said his bald head was a solar panel for a sex machine.

    I said "Yeah, and we can all guess where you keep the batteries"

    I don't get this.
    I think I get that we are supposed to think that the batteries are in his ass, but I don't get why that connects the the first statement or why it's funny.
    Don't get it.


  • #57
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Yeah, like a lot of these aren't great comebacks. They're sort of witty and all, but a great comeback to me isn't just wit - it's viciousness as well, if we're talking about comebacks in an argument context.

    If you find the balance between the two, wittiness and ruthlessness, that's a comeback. If you stun the other person into silence for the right reasons, that's a comeback. Anything about anyone's ma isn't a good comeback; not because it's off limits or anything, but because it's dated. Nobody goes around saying, 'Yeah tell your ma I said cheers for last night' anymore.


  • #58
    tcawley29
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,829 ✭✭✭tcawley29


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Yeah, like a lot of these aren't great comebacks. They're sort of witty and all, but a great comeback to me isn't just wit - it's viciousness as well, if we're talking about comebacks in an argument context.

    If you find the balance between the two, wittiness and ruthlessness, that's a comeback. If you stun the other person into silence for the right reasons, that's a comeback. Anything about anyone's ma isn't a good comeback; not because it's off limits or anything, but because it's dated. Nobody goes around saying, 'Yeah tell your ma I said cheers for last night' anymore.

    Exactly. It's the witty stuff I was looking for. I'm sure Johnny or Paddy will bail us out soon enough :pac:


  • #59
    odyssey06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,130 ✭✭✭✭odyssey06


    tcawley29 wrote: »
    Exactly. It's the witty stuff I was looking for. I'm sure Johnny or Paddy will bail us out soon enough :pac:

    This one is also attributed to Churchill, this time versus George Bernard Shaw:
    "Here's two tickets to my new play. Bring a friend - if you have one. "
    "Cannot attend opening night. Will come to second night - if there is one."

    http://shawquotations.blogspot.com/2014/11/bernard-shaw-and-sir-winston-churchill.html

    "To follow knowledge like a sinking star..." (Tennyson's Ulysses)



  • #60
    gozunda
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,996 ✭✭✭✭gozunda


    "if you had **** for brains - you'd be constipated"


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  • #61
    evil_seed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,448 ✭✭✭evil_seed


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    Draper saying to Ginsberg “I don’t think about you at all.” and then fücking off out the lift.

    He said that to Campbell I think


  • #62
    Sky King
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    Can't believe there's not more Wilde in the thread.

    Some spaz: I passed your house the other day
    Oscar: Thank you so much.


  • #63
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Yeah, like a lot of these aren't great comebacks. They're sort of witty and all, but a great comeback to me isn't just wit - it's viciousness as well, if we're talking about comebacks in an argument context.

    If you find the balance between the two, wittiness and ruthlessness, that's a comeback. If you stun the other person into silence for the right reasons, that's a comeback.

    The jerk store called-they're running out of you.


  • #64
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,935 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    ^^^^^

    This proves Hammers point.


  • #65
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    Do you like George Costanza?


  • #66
    major bill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,421 ✭✭✭major bill


    “There’s no I in team”

    Yea but there’s a U in C unt


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  • #67
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    Sexist.


  • #68
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    Someone: I find your books meretricious.

    Gore Vidal: You find my books what?

    Someone: Meretricious.

    Gore Vidal: Meretricious to you, and a happy new year.


  • #69
    Wtf ?
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 343 ✭✭Wtf ?


    You are having delusions of competence.


  • #70
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    'Nominally you'd take this option'

    ...ah, but you're not normal.


  • #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The Manic Street Preachers - "Billy Bragg is pretentious".

    Billy Bragg - "I had to look that up in a dictionary first, but now yeah, I tend to agree".


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  • #72
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Leaving the pub one evening when one of the lads called me back to the counter. When I got there.

    Mate: How far would you be gone if I didn't call you back?

    Me: Farther from a fool than I am now.


  • #73
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,917 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Every time you take a.sh1t you must come close to brain death.


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