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What is your impression of Aspergers syndrome?

2456

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,452 ✭✭✭✭Blazer


    You mean boring and dull the thread would have dropped off the board.

    The post disagreeing with my first post has 16 thanks and I find that quite encouraging.

    But my cover is blown and this thread now has a lot of attention if you have any questions ask away.:)

    No one will bother as you were deceitful in how you started this thread.
    Little boy cries wolf as they say.
    You've probably done more damage than good now in how you went about this.
    What you should have done is told the truth and let other posters tell their experiences.
    Now people are skeptical of what and won't believe anything you post now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    You mean boring and dull the thread would have dropped off the board.

    The post disagreeing with my first post has 16 thanks and I find that quite encouraging.

    But my cover is blown and this thread now has a lot of attention if you have any questions ask away.:)

    One of the best AMAs boards has done was with a young lady who was on the spectrum. People were genuinely interested and asked her questions.

    She didn't have to be dishonest to keep people interested.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Well, at least a lot of people got very passionate about defending people on the spectrum.
    So the OP definitely doing what you thought it would.

    Thank you that was part of it I also wanted to hook in those who have false misconceptions and have them corrected.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Mam of 4 wrote: »
    I don't think anyone has posted with false outrage .
    Your opening post was quite dismissive , name calling etc .

    If your cover was not blown , would you have continued to 'hook' in people as you put it ?Instead of being open and honest and willing to answer questions or try enlighten others about AS .

    Agreed. Indeed the opening post was quite disingenuous considering many of us had already read posts by him where he sharply put down another poster who said he had AS and went on to say he had it too. So saying any cover was blown is waffle, as he made it public quite clearly himself.
    I'm loathe to partake in the discussion, as the motives are blurred.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,994 ✭✭✭sullivlo


    Thank you that was part of it I also wanted to hook in those who have false misconceptions and have them corrected.

    I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who are on the spectrum.

    I watched “Atypical” on Netflix over the midterm. A great show - gives a good insight into some of the challenges faced by those on the spectrum.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,994 ✭✭✭sullivlo


    Thank you that was part of it I also wanted to hook in those who have false misconceptions and have them corrected.

    I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who are on the spectrum.

    I watched “Atypical” on Netflix over the midterm. A great show - gives a good insight into some of the challenges faced by those on the spectrum.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Calhoun wrote: »
    One of the best AMAs boards has done was with a young lady who was on the spectrum. People were genuinely interested and asked her questions.

    She didn't have to be dishonest to keep people interested.

    This is After Hours the home of Dole bashing trallever bashing and outrage politics.;)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,620 ✭✭✭✭dr.fuzzenstein


    Thank you that was part of it I also wanted to hook in those who have false misconceptions and have them corrected.

    And don't mind some people, they're just looking for a reason to jump down your throat, twist your arguments and engage in faux outrage, even though they're not affected, know anyone who is or have even the slightest clue about it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,202 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    You mean boring and dull the thread would have dropped off the board.

    The post disagreeing with my first post has 16 thanks and I find that quite encouraging.

    But my cover is blown and this thread now has a lot of attention if you have any questions ask away.:)


    I have a question, open to anyone really, but since you’ve used the term a few times now - what’s the deal with ‘Aspies’? Personally, I find it cringe inducing as it comes off as some sort of an attempt to create a community of people with commonalities where there really aren’t any as I’ve never met two people who had been diagnosed with AS who had anything else in common other than they had been diagnosed with AS.

    As for the diagnosis of AS itself, I could take it or leave it, I don’t have any issue with it one way or another that I don’t also have with diagnoses of autism in adults and children, namely that they’ve widened the criteria to be so broad now that pretty much anyone could be diagnosed as being autistic.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,951 ✭✭✭✭Mam of 4


    You mean boring and dull the thread would have dropped off the board.

    The post disagreeing with my first post has 16 thanks and I find that quite encouraging.

    But my cover is blown and this thread now has a lot of attention if you have any questions ask away.:)

    Why would it be boring and dull ?
    To be honest and open would have gained you a lot of respect for saying how it is for you , but instead it seems to have had the opposite effect .
    I wish you well , I have no questions for you that I haven't already asked my own child .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,637 ✭✭✭brightspark


    Calhoun wrote: »
    To counterbalance that part of the right education for people on the spectrum is to help them to communicate appropriately.

    You cannot cover all scenarios hence why having some support in a working environment is required however it's not a free pass for really bad behavior .

    Bad behaviour never deserves a "free pass"

    But is it really that bad for example, to have a colleague tell you to your face that "your idea is stupid" instead of the more "correct" "your idea has a some good points but needs more work"?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Agreed. Indeed the opening post was quite disingenuous considering many of us had already read posts by him where he sharply put down another poster who said he had AS and went on to say he had it too. So saying any cover was blown is waffle, as he made it public quite clearly himself.
    I'm loathe to partake in the discussion, as the motives are blurred.

    The other poster was starting rubbish threads and using his AS as an excuse I also declared in that thread I had it myself.

    That thread and his many other threads was part of my motivation for starting this one.

    My motive is clear I wanted to hook people into the thread who have misconceptions and try and clear them up with the help of other decent posters.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,736 ✭✭✭Irish Guitarist


    You ascertain that they mess up relationships but you call your friends children and grandchildren weirdos.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    This is After Hours the home of Dole bashing trallever bashing and outrage politics.;)

    Ah yah sorry I thought you wanted to be taken seriously, seems your just attention seeking and looking for validation .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,900 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    A number of posters on this very board have it and they are a mixed bag.

    A relatives son has it a friends grandson has it I work with a couple of people with it.
    I notice some of those with the condition are prone to online trolling for the sake of attention seeking as they seem unable to interact with people in a normal way.

    My impression of these people is that they are very annoying and emotionally immature.
    They may seem intelligent but they seem to panic when they have to do anything outside their narrow comfort zone.

    They seem to mess up all relationships and friendships that is if they can even form them in the first place.
    They also come across as selfish and weird and they can ask the same question over and over again as if looking for reassurance.

    Despite the PC version of the syndrome these people seem prone to mood swings and bursts of anger if they are pushed too far outside their comfort zone.

    What are your impressions of people with Aspergers am I being unfair or am I being truthful?

    Are these people weirdos creepy and annoying?

    Different strokes for different folks.
    Of course they are going to seem weird to you because they do not conform to normal social interactions.
    I only ever encounter one with the condition I know of. He told me the first time I ever saw him. Basically told me his whole life story and some stuff mainstream people would not.
    He said he was on the mild side of it.
    He is a highly intelligent fella with a PHD.
    I knew nothing of the condition really but he explained it all to me.
    That they become obsessed with a particular item or hobby.
    They find the things mainstream people take for granted such as normal 'how's the weather conversation' difficult.
    They seem really task driven and goal orientated so that will mean they are suited to certain types of jobs in particular.

    As for them being annoying they are no more annoying then any other person to me.
    I think the secret is that you have to accept that they have certain traits that they cannot help, but there are other aspects to them that are positive.
    The same as anyone else really in that sense.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 778 ✭✭✭Jack Moore


    sullivlo wrote: »
    Technically, yes. If we’re getting into specifics anyway ;)



    A teacher. Yes. One who has taught students who are mildly on the spectrum. And those who are so far on the spectrum that they’re borderline for continuing in mainstream education.

    Aside from the experience I have in teaching students with ASD, I had to study a huge amount of psychology of adolescence and education, and any professionals that we engaged with considered ASD to be a diagnosis or disorder, not a disease.

    You can’t catch Aspergers or Autism. Calling it a disease is derogatory, IMO.



    She ;)

    Do you think being able to catch a thing makes it it a disease?


  • Posts: 5,311 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Jack Moore wrote: »
    Do you think being able to catch a thing makes it it a disease?


    Indeed, I didn't realise you could contract alcoholism. Inherit perhaps, but that's a separate debate...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    I have a question, open to anyone really, but since you’ve used the term a few times now - what’s the deal with ‘Aspies’? Personally, I find it cringe inducing as it comes off as some sort of an attempt to create a community of people with commonalities where there really aren’t any as I’ve never met two people who had been diagnosed with AS who had anything else in common other than they had been diagnosed with AS.

    As for the diagnosis of AS itself, I could take it or leave it, I don’t have any issue with it one way or another that I don’t also have with diagnoses of autism in adults and children, namely that they’ve widened the criteria to be so broad now that pretty much anyone could be diagnosed as being autistic.


    A lot of people on the spectrum have found each other online and we have forums in which we share advice and try and offer support to each other.

    Aspies and Auties are how we describe ourselves and Aspergers still is a term on this side of the Atlantic.


    By the way we call the rest of you NTs Neurotypicals.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    Bad behaviour never deserves a "free pass"

    But is it really that bad for example, to have a colleague tell you to your face that "your idea is stupid" instead of the more "correct" "your idea has a some good points but needs more work"?

    No it's not but that's why we have programs from larger companies which is working to try and integrate folk on the specturn more and take advantage of their strengths.

    There are limits though on bad behavior and it's a two way street.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,900 ✭✭✭✭gormdubhgorm


    Jack Moore wrote: »
    Do you think being able to catch a thing makes it it a disease?

    It is not a genetic disease so the correct term would be disorder.

    Guff about stuff, and stuff about guff.



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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    You ascertain that they mess up relationships but you call your friends children and grandchildren weirdos.

    That is what people call us and trust me I speak to people on the spectrum all the time.

    We do mess up relationships and people do say we come across as weirdos.

    Not calling anybody that simply owning the term.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Mam of 4 wrote: »
    Tbh , you're an expert on the topic in how it is for you , not for everyone else with a diagnosis of AS . No two people are the same in how it affects them .

    Exactly. I know two people with an AS diagnosis and they could not be more different. I’d never be so ignorant as to say “all people with AS are xyz” no more than I’d make that generalisation about someone who didn’t have it. Crazy!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    By the way, I post on that board quite a lot and I have read quite a lot there.

    I have a number of friends there also trust me I know my stuff here.

    If I had of been honest in my original post this thread would have just dropped off the board and everybody knows it.

    https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewforum.php?f=3&sid=b0a8509c731e3a7e78a27e27937c65d2


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Exactly. I know two people with an AS diagnosis and they could not be more different. I’d never be so ignorant as to say “all people with AS are xyz” no more than I’d make that generalisation about someone who didn’t have it. Crazy!


    People with Aspergers to a very large extent DO come across as creepy and annoying this is a fact you need to accept and deal with and if you don't the poor child that is unaware of this will have to deal with social rejection and bullying.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    By the way, I post on that board quite a lot and I have read quite a lot there.

    I have a number of friends there also trust me I know my stuff here.

    If I had of been honest in my original post this thread would have just dropped off the board and everybody knows it.

    https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewforum.php?f=3&sid=b0a8509c731e3a7e78a27e27937c65d2

    I count at least 2 parents of children in the spectrum in here and a teacher, how you thought it wouldn't have interest I don't know .

    Maybe it's your disorder and you just assumed that this was the best method of communication.

    Let me tell you why in annoyed, I am not on the spectrum but until my daughter can do it herself I speak for her. I see crap like this as being deceitful and unhelpful.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,423 ✭✭✭batgoat


    Aspergers is a communication disorder at its heart and the post I have just quoted from you proves not only have you not read all of the thread you have not even read all of my posts in the thread.

    How Ironic.:D

    Apologies! Sorry, I fall onto spectrum as well so misinterpreted the intent and thought this was gonna be some weird bashing thread.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie



    But is it really that bad for example, to have a colleague tell you to your face that "your idea is stupid" instead of the more "correct" "your idea has a some good points but needs more work"?

    I guess that depends on who you ask really, personally I prefer the first way, saves time and effort.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,605 ✭✭✭gctest50


    It is not a genetic disease so the correct term would be disorder.

    GABRB3


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,202 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    A lot of people on the spectrum have found each other online and we have forums in which we share advice and try and offer support to each other.

    Aspies and Auties are how we describe ourselves and Aspergers still is a term on this side of the Atlantic.


    I would suggest that rather than making a generalisation like saying that a lot of people who are autistic have found each other online, the reality is that it’s only a tiny minority of people with high functioning autism and advocates for autism that have found each other online and decided amongst themselves to claim ‘aspies’ as an identity. There’s far more politics involved than just coming up with cutsie terms for what is in reality a disorder.

    By the way we call the rest of you NTs Neurotypicals.


    I know, more silly ‘othering’ and identity politics tbh. There’s a few schools of thought on it really -

    Identity First Language

    Asperger’s History of Overdiagnosis

    Autism Is Likely Under-Diagnosed in Women Due to Gender Bias

    What isn’t autism? The politics of autism


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Calhoun wrote: »
    I count at least 2 parents of children in the spectrum in here and a teacher, how you thought it wouldn't have interest I don't know .

    Maybe it's your disorder and you just assumed that this was the best method of communication.

    Let me tell you why in annoyed, I am not on the spectrum but until my daughter can do it herself I speak for her. I see crap like this as being deceitful and unhelpful.

    Your first point in bold you may be right.
    I am used to people being angry with me since I was five.


    As for the other point in bold, you should be more concerned about your daughter when she has to mix with other children.
    I do believe I have a touch of PTSD from my days in school and not I am not exaggerating it was worse than anything I can put into words here.

    The bullying I endured and the low self-esteem it left me with is ten times worse than having Aspergers.
    Having Aspergers is what made me vulnerable to being picked on coming across as creepy weird and isolated.

    Being PC does not help people on the spectrum trust me we do not get offended my one-off words why would we most of us have had a harrowing time in school.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    batgoat wrote: »
    Apologies! Sorry, I fall onto spectrum as well so misinterpreted the intent and thought this was gonna be some weird bashing thread.


    :D:D:D

    Now you read the thread.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,423 ✭✭✭batgoat


    Your first point in bold you may be right.
    I am used to people being angry with me since I was five.


    As for the other point in bold, you should be more concerned about your daughter when she has to mix with other children.
    I do believe I have a touch of PTSD from my days in school and not I am not exaggerating it was worse than anything I can put into words here.

    The bullying I endured and the low self-esteem it left me with is ten times worse than having Aspergers.
    Having Aspergers is what made me vulnerable to being picked on coming across as creepy weird and isolated.

    Being PC does not help people on the spectrum trust me we do not get offended my one-off word why would we most of us have has a harrowing time in school.

    As a person who had pretty similar experiences of bullying as a child and a teen, all I can do is recommend consider counselling. That can affect behaviour in a pretty negative way including isolating one self more than you're actually comfortable with.

    In terms of career etc and holding down a job, play to your strengths and it can work out. Eg working in an area you're passionate about that mentally stimulates you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    might be ignoring OP ...

    - But have to say I was sometimes reading about AS-NT relationships, while there was something I wanted to improve in my entourage. It is tough on NTs :)

    Now ... I imagine lot of the messages on this thread are/will be BS (and really I am after seeing someone called this thread rude, after being rude themselves on Work problems).
    But appears the thread is different than the usual gender debate ones I keep an eye on AH - so happy to subscribe :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭OscarMIlde


    It's a neurodevelopmental disorder, and can have very serious implications for people who have it. Calling it a disease is not necessarily derogatory, just someone using the wrong terminology. As someone who has an adult non verbal autistic brother I find it much more hurtful when it is defined by people with such mild autism that they can advocate for themselves, the severity of the condition is being minimised now, and the 'spectrum' has been stretched to the point that people with negligible symptoms are being diagnosed as autistic.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    That is what people call us and trust me I speak to people on the spectrum all the time.

    We do mess up relationships and people do say we come across as weirdos.

    Not calling anybody that simply owning the term.
    I've known a few Aspie folks down the years, some diagnosed(relatively recently) others not. Yes there were some commonalities, but they were a mixed bunch. The first lad I knew with it(as he found out much later) had it quite severe. I met him in my last year of schooling. Very withdrawn guy, IMHO as much down to too much social isolation as the condition itself. He was almost a cliche as he was scarily bright in a particular area. Genius level shit. Long before he sat his leaving cert several universities wanted him and not just in Ireland(He ended up in the UK because his CAO points weren't nearly enough to do his chosen subject, even though he could run rings around some lecturers in the field). I took to befriending him as I hate seeing someone socially isolated. He defo wasn't too sure of me at first(as I said scarily bright), but I wore him down. :D

    Nice lad actually. He had learned to be extremely observant of people. I suppose because it didn't come naturally? Funny too. Though half the time I'd have to explain to him why I was was picking myself up from the floor laughing with tears in my eyes. That was odd actually. He'd drop a clanger that Wilde would have killed for, knowing he was doing it, but needing my explanation(?) as to why it was hilarious, or that someone else thought it funny. Then he'd crack up himself.

    We kinda bonded over different weaknesses in both of us. I have dyscalculia, IE complete mental block/idiocy with maths and numbers. At least dyscalculia has been suggested as a given by a family member who's a psychiatrist, though I don't have any of the other symptoms of it. Plain thick with numbers is just as likely. Anyway he tried to help me with that, in exchange for me helping him with the social stuff(I'll talk to the wall. He was always aghast that I could walk up to a complete stranger and talk to them). Both had mixed results, but he was way more patient with me.

    Another guy I knew years later was definitely on the spectrum. Very bright, but "odd". But also aware of that oddness, for the most part. He learned to be social and mostly passed as "normal". Pretty good with relationships too. Where he shone was in business negotiations. Because he is very intelligent and had observed and learned that human interaction stuff, rather than picked it up by instinct, he was unreal in business stuff. He could read a room or people like Sherlock Holmes.

    I did notice - and I dunno if this is a "thing" with folks on the spectrum - that the two guys above and the others I've known on said spectrum was they were very sensitive to noise and movement and anything suddenly changing or clutter in their environment. EG I once offered a lift home to the first guy and he was clearly getting anxious if I went much beyond a certain speed. My mad teenage notion was to try and teach him to drive. He reckoned he was too uncoordinated, but TBH he ended up being among the easiest of those I taught down the years, so long as I was very precise with the instructions. He never went beyond car parks and industrial estates(oncoming traffic, any traffic, really freaked him out), but reckoned it had helped him.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    Your first point in bold you may be right.
    I am used to people being angry with me since I was five.


    As for the other point in bold, you should be more concerned about your daughter when she has to mix with other children.
    I do believe I have a touch of PTSD from my days in school and not I am not exaggerating it was worse than anything I can put into words here.

    The bullying I endured and the low self-esteem it left me with is ten times worse than having Aspergers.
    Having Aspergers is what made me vulnerable to being picked on coming across as creepy weird and isolated.

    Being PC does not help people on the spectrum trust me we do not get offended my one-off word why would we most of us have has a harrowing time in school.

    Great response and is very honest and raw about what you went through, i can empathize as of personal experience with bullies but also because its absolutely heartbreaking watching my daughter look at other little girls and wanting to communicate but not being able to.

    I have the luxury of having a wife who teaches children on the spectrum and unlike allot of teachers she wasn't just assigned the class she has specialized in the area for a long time. So we are doing the best we can to help my daughter, my wife will be the first person to say that you must teach children on the spectrum how to communicate and not just expect others to change.

    You are right being PC does not help people on the spectrum but educating others on what its like growing up on the spectrum can resonate allot further.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,001 ✭✭✭ayux4rj6zql2ph


    I have aspergers myself. Yes it’s true I have no friends and find it very difficult to form new friendships. I have obsessions with certain things in life but at the end of the day I am who I am and can’t change that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭OscarMIlde


    I would suggest that rather than making a generalisation like saying that a lot of people who are autistic have found each other online, the reality is that it’s only a tiny minority of people with high functioning autism and advocates for autism that have found each other online and decided amongst themselves to claim ‘aspies’ as an identity. There’s far more politics involved than just coming up with cutsie terms for what is in reality a disorder.





    I know, more silly ‘othering’ and identity politics tbh. There’s a few schools of thought on it really -

    Identity First Language

    Asperger’s History of Overdiagnosis

    Autism Is Likely Under-Diagnosed in Women Due to Gender Bias

    What isn’t autism? The politics of autism

    Thank you. As the sister of an adult non verbal classically autistic man, I find it supremely irritating that discourse around autism is being dominated by those high functioning enough to articulate themselves and make themselves heard. I personally think classic autism and asperger syndrome are related genetically but are different disorders. The creation of the spectrum was more of a political decision than a medical one.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    Wibbs wrote: »
    I did notice - and I dunno if this is a "thing" with folks on the spectrum - that the two guys above and the others I've known on said spectrum was they were very sensitive to noise and movement and anything suddenly changing or clutter in their environment. EG I once offered a lift home to the first guy and he was clearly getting anxious if I went much beyond a certain speed. My mad teenage notion was to try and teach him to drive. He reckoned he was too uncoordinated, but TBH he ended up being among the easiest of those I taught down the years, so long as I was very precise with the instructions. He never went beyond car parks and industrial estates(oncoming traffic, any traffic, really freaked him out), but reckoned it had helped him.

    Its all about sensory input and output, my daughter becomes overwhelmed in big crowds. She also could be watching something and her sensory system gets overloaded.

    Through occupational therapy they teach ways in how to cop with it as it will always be something that they have to manage.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    OscarMIlde wrote: »
    people with negligible symptoms are being diagnosed as autistic.


    Unable to make or keep friends,
    No relationships.
    Clumsy gate and physically awkward.
    Unreadable handwriting.
    Overload of sounds sends me into a rage that I manage to keep internalised for the most part.
    Stimming and mild OCD.
    Unemployable until I learned that hard way.
    Now underemployed as in cr*p job.
    Poor spelling.
    Struggle to remember peoples names and faces and can get mixed up.

    People over the years have described me as a retard a big child awkward creepy weird even an Alien.

    Sorry Aspergers is mild Autism.

    Mild on other people, not us.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    Unable to make or keep friends,
    No relationships.
    Clumsy gate and physically awkward.
    Unreadable handwriting.
    Overload of sounds sends me into a rage that I manage to keep internalised for the most part.
    Stimming and mild OCD.
    Unemployable until I learned that hard way.
    Now underemployed as in cr*p job.
    Poor spelling.
    Struggle to remember peoples names and faces and can get mixed up.

    People over the years have described me as a retard a big child awkward creepy weird even an Alien.

    Sorry Aspergers is mild Autism.

    Mild on other people, not us.

    I don't think this poster means you but as my wife will tell you there is a psychiatrist in Dublin related to a recent ex-minister who gives out ASD diagnosis for a nice fee of 300 euro at a pop.

    Which has made it harder to actually get the proper support for people actually in need on the spectrum because you have to jump through allot of hoops as not all private diagnosis are accepted now. Additionally as your more than likely aware, the HSE is **** and does not serve anyone who needs it well.

    Honest question, how did you deal with the sensory overloads and controlling the stimming?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Wibbs wrote: »
    I've known a few Aspie folks down the years, some diagnosed(relatively recently) others not. Yes there were some commonalities, but they were a mixed bunch. The first lad I knew with it(as he found out much later) had it quite severe. I met him in my last year of schooling. Very withdrawn guy, IMHO as much down to too much social isolation as the condition itself. He was almost a cliche as he was scarily bright in a particular area. Genius level shit. Long before he sat his leaving cert several universities wanted him and not just in Ireland(He ended up in the UK because his CAO points weren't nearly enough to do his chosen subject, even though he could run rings around some lecturers in the field). I took to befriending him as I hate seeing someone socially isolated. He defo wasn't too sure of me at first(as I said scarily bright), but I wore him down. :D

    Nice lad actually. He had learned to be extremely observant of people. I suppose because it didn't come naturally? Funny too. Though half the time I'd have to explain to him why I was was picking myself up from the floor laughing with tears in my eyes. That was odd actually. He'd drop a clanger that Wilde would have killed for, knowing he was doing it, but needing my explanation(?) as to why it was hilarious, or that someone else thought it funny. Then he'd crack up himself.

    We kinda bonded over different weaknesses in both of us. I have dyscalculia, IE complete mental block/idiocy with maths and numbers. At least dyscalculia has been suggested as a given by a family member who's a psychiatrist, though I don't have any of the other symptoms of it. Plain thick with numbers is just as likely. Anyway he tried to help me with that, in exchange for me helping him with the social stuff(I'll talk to the wall. He was always aghast that I could walk up to a complete stranger and talk to them). Both had mixed results, but he was way more patient with me.

    Another guy I knew years later was definitely on the spectrum. Very bright, but "odd". But also aware of that oddness, for the most part. He learned to be social and mostly passed as "normal". Pretty good with relationships too. Where he shone was in business negotiations. Because he is very intelligent and had observed and learned that human interaction stuff, rather than picked it up by instinct, he was unreal in business stuff. He could read a room or people like Sherlock Holmes.

    I did notice - and I dunno if this is a "thing" with folks on the spectrum - that the two guys above and the others I've known on said spectrum was they were very sensitive to noise and movement and anything suddenly changing or clutter in their environment. EG I once offered a lift home to the first guy and he was clearly getting anxious if I went much beyond a certain speed. My mad teenage notion was to try and teach him to drive. He reckoned he was too uncoordinated, but TBH he ended up being among the easiest of those I taught down the years, so long as I was very precise with the instructions. He never went beyond car parks and industrial estates(oncoming traffic, any traffic, really freaked him out), but reckoned it had helped him.

    People with their PC saying we are all different but we do have a lot in common that bit in bold is a nightmare for us and everybody I know on the spectrum struggles with this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,736 ✭✭✭Irish Guitarist


    That is what people call us and trust me I speak to people on the spectrum all the time.

    We do mess up relationships and people do say we come across as weirdos.


    Not calling anybody that simply owning the term.

    I posted that before reading your comments about having Aspergers yourself. No offence intended.

    My niece has Asperbergers and my nephew has autism.

    My nephew got a guitar for Christmas one year. I offered to teach him how to play it. I tried to teach him some chords to the simplest song I knew but he had no interest. That was fine but I just wanted him to tell me whether he wanted me to keep trying to teach him or not. He kind of shrugged, said yeah, but kept laughing and looking over at the telly. I asked him another couple of times just to give me a straight answer and that it was okay if he wasn't interested but it was like getting blood from a stone. It's definitely hard to communicate with him. Although to be fair my brother being in the same room didn't help, neither did having the television on.

    My niece just seems shy and you wouldn't know she has Asbergers.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Calhoun wrote: »

    Honest question, how did you deal with the sensory overloads and controlling the stimming?

    Trying to hide the stimming I don't do it around other people most of the time.:D

    Sensory overloads tend to put me into a rage sometimes it can make me work faster as I take my rage out on the job.
    Other times in my life is has caused me to go off the deep end and regret it later.
    People use to laugh at me when I was younger when I got into a fluster.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    I posted that before reading your comments about having Aspergers yourself. No offence intended.

    My niece has Asperbergers and my nephew has autism.

    My nephew got a guitar for Christmas one year. I offered to teach him how to play it. I tried to teach him some chords to the simplest song I knew but he had no interest. That was fine but I just wanted him to tell me whether he wanted me to keep trying to teach him or not. He kind of shrugged, said yeah, but kept laughing and looking over at the telly. I asked him another couple of times just to give me a straight answer and that it was okay if he wasn't interested but it was like getting blood from a stone. It's definitely hard to communicate with him. Although to be fair my brother being in the same room didn't help, neither did having the television on.

    My niece just seems shy and you wouldn't know she has Asbergers.

    None taken.:D

    As regards your nephew I would guess he had no interest in the guitar but felt to awkward to say he did not like it.
    People on the spectrum take in a lot but don't always know how to respond.
    I guess he knew you were being kind but he though the gift sucked so he tried to gloss over your questions.


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  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Calhoun wrote: »
    Its all about sensory input and output, my daughter becomes overwhelmed in big crowds. She also could be watching something and her sensory system gets overloaded.

    Through occupational therapy they teach ways in how to cop with it as it will always be something that they have to manage.
    Nail on the head describing those folks I know C. As if they need input coming across in an orderly queue of sorts, rather than as a mob coming across all at once?

    Funny enough C I would go batshit crazy(well...more than usual...) if I didn't have the noise mob coming in from every direction. I need the input, and output. The more input and output I have, the "calmer", or at least more content I am*.




    *as we speak I have fifteen tabs open across two browsers, engaging with three ongoing convos, while I have a film on in the background that I jump in and out of(German flic "A Woman in Berlin". Good flic too.) while dipping into my iTunes playlist, with two books bookmarked and in play every so often, and a convo on WhatsApp.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    Calhoun wrote: »
    Its all about sensory input and output, my daughter becomes overwhelmed in big crowds. She also could be watching something and her sensory system gets overloaded.

    Through occupational therapy they teach ways in how to cop with it as it will always be something that they have to manage.

    Everybody I know on the spectrum has this including me.

    We might have different personalities and interests but we share common traits with varying degrees sensory overload is the main one.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭OscarMIlde


    Unable to make or keep friends,
    No relationships.
    Clumsy gate and physically awkward.
    Unreadable handwriting.
    Overload of sounds sends me into a rage that I manage to keep internalised for the most part.
    Stimming and mild OCD.
    Unemployable until I learned that hard way.
    Now underemployed as in cr*p job.
    Poor spelling.
    Struggle to remember peoples names and faces and can get mixed up.

    People over the years have described me as a retard a big child awkward creepy weird even an Alien.

    Sorry Aspergers is mild Autism.

    Mild on other people, not us.

    I still think Aspergers and autism are separate disorders. I think calling Asperger syndrome mild autism does a disservice to both groups. Asperger syndrome is just as disabling as autism but in different ways. Asperger syndrome itself will have degrees of severity. There has been a loosening of diagnostic criteria of late that people with mild social issues (I am not including you amongst this group) have obtained a diagnosis of autism. The governess on the Chase has been diagnosed as autistic for Pete's sake. Diagnosing someone like her, whip smart with the ability to verbally joust with contestants, with a neuro developmental disorder is pathetic in my opinion.

    The increased trivialisation of autistic diagnostic criteria along with very vocal online communities of high functioning people is marginalising people like my brother. I've even seen 'aspie' communities online make derogaratory comments about being associated with r*****s with classical autism. It is not a range of personality quirks or an identity to be proud of. My brother lost all his language as a toddler, spent years of his life crying and screaming for hours on end in torment. No amount of kumbaya changes in language will effect the fundamental reality that for many autistic people it is a very detrimental condition and those participating in online communities are not representative of all autistic people.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,172 ✭✭✭screamer


    Jury's out for me on this one. I had a manager once who was an absolute prick and useless to boot. A strange individual who you never really knew what to think of, who would I overshare even though you didn't know him very well, but would throw you under a bus to protect himself. Yep I know, lots of them around! I left my long time job mainly because of how he treated me, and found out later that he had Aspergers but kept it very hidden. I thought to myself, people are literally running screaming out of the management team, and knowing that might have made us more aware of what we could and could not expect from him. He was obviously good at his previous job to get to such a high position, but really lacked the skills needed in people management, and a lot of us left


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭CinemaGuy45


    OscarMIlde wrote: »
    I still think Aspergers and autism are separate disorders. I think calling Asperger syndrome mild autism does a disservice to both groups. Asperger syndrome is just as disabling as autism but in different ways. Asperger syndrome itself will have degrees of severity. There has been a loosening of diagnostic criteria of late that people with mild social issues (I am not including you amongst this group) have obtained a diagnosis of autism. The governess on the Chase has been diagnosed as autistic for Pete's sake. Diagnosing someone like her, whip smart with the ability to verbally joust with contestants, with a neuro developmental disorder is pathetic in my opinion.

    The increased trivialisation of autistic diagnostic criteria along with very vocal online communities of high functioning people is marginalising people like my brother. I've even seen 'aspie' communities online make derogaratory comments about being associated with r*****s with classical autism. It is not a range of personality quirks or an identity to be proud of. My brother lost all his language as a toddler, spent years of his life crying and screaming for hours on end in torment. No amount of kumbaya changes in language will effect the fundamental reality that for many autistic people it is a very detrimental condition and those participating in online communities are not representative of all autistic people.

    It was the so-called experts who decided to lump us all into the one diagnosis of ASD.
    You will notice I used the term Aspergers and somebody pulled me up on it.

    Life for people like your brother and those that have to care for him must be hell and I know my life is in no way comparable.:(


    I have noticed the state offers little to no support for anybody who struggles with daily life to any degree.
    I can work I can drive I can not imagine how difficult you and your brothers' life is.


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