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Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

24567…25

Comments

  • #52
    Guill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Guill


    Just remembered, Doctor Beverly Crusher.....


  • #53
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    aaahh the days before the internet...young lads these days don't know how good they have it

    wonder woman i use to pull my wire in her honour...watch it on a sunday afternoon and then burn her image in my mind..and then during the week i'd do a bit of "stress relief" under the blankets:P

    also my mammys woman magazines with their sexy underwear adverts:P


  • #54
    Intensive Care Bear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 661 ✭✭✭Intensive Care Bear


    When i was about 11 i was playing over in my friends house when me and my mate decided to go snooping in his older brothers room (his brother was about 14) i lifted his pillow and there was pile of jizzed up tissues and a copy of the family album. We all had a laugh and the next day i told my mates in school who all laughed except one, my mate was disgusted and for about 6 years afterward when ever this guy was mentioned my friend would comment what a sick f*cker he was. I always thought it was strange and one day i questioned him saying "jesus man i dont see why you hate him so much im sure you have w*nked to worse" He replied "what, the guy was w*anking to pictures of his own family, that sick" That was when i had to explain that the family album was actually a catalogue that had a bra section and the guy wasn't some of Joseph Fritzl character.


  • #55
    Kidchameleon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    There used to be a channel on the telly before it was called NTL. It had all the channels on one screen in little boxes. Some of the boxes had the movie channels on. You could watch soft porn with no sound there :)


  • #56
    WoundedRhino
    Registered Users Posts: 66 ✭✭WoundedRhino


    Jet from the UK version of Gladiators. Lightning if Jet wasn't on.... but she was no Jet. My goddess in lycra.


  • #57
    Guill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Guill


    Emmanuel was always on Channel 4, along with Eurotrash and sometimes even the Word had good boobage. If you were lucky they would show somw late night Anime which was bound the show at least some side boob repeatidly.


  • #58
    tripe man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37 ✭tripe man


    The usual for the time; bending over in front of a mirror and **** to your own asshole.


  • #59
    al28283
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭al28283


    castletownman wrote: »
    Good Housekeeping magazine


    ever try Bad Housekeeping magazine? ;)


  • #60
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,069 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Paparazzo wrote: »
    Worst thing that could possibly happen to you back then:
    Film on channel 4 looks promising. Make at attempt at the early sex scene, then you think it's not that great, you'll wait for the next one. But that was the only sex scene in the movie. So you spent your entire saturday night watching a crap french arthouse movie with a floppy willy in your hand.

    lmao

    In fairness to Channel 4, they did show some good sex-filled movies. The Emmanuelle series, Caligula and La bête* spring to mind.

    Many a fap was had

    * One of the review titles for that film on IMDB - "Heart-Warming Tale Of A Woman Fucking A Rat-Bear"

    Pretty much sums it up :D


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  • #61
    Agricola
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Sharon Ni Bheolain reading the news.......some things never change! :D

    Well she is on Six One now as opposed to News on Two.....


  • #62
    guitarzero
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    The flirt chat add from about 7 or 8 years ago, think it was on sky after 10 pm. Just a black background, this blond in a black dress just sensually gyrating her hips and the tempting lift of the skirt. It lasted for about 8 seconds but it only took me 5.

    There was this Italian lessons thing on BBC at about 2 in the morning, the host was a cracker, worth the wait.


  • #63
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    the Bravo channel after midnight;) (we've all done it) pretending to stay up to watch the darts on eurosport...:)

    they had some crackers on, and i'd crack one off


  • #64
    Paparazzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,397 ✭✭✭Paparazzo


    If times are really tough, one of those infomercials on eurosport for exercise equipment.


  • #65
    northernpower
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 198 ✭✭northernpower


    Aerobics oz style - pure dort


  • #66
    voz es
    Closed Accounts Posts: 572 ✭✭✭voz es


    Tails142 wrote: »
    Countdown...


    Off the school but up to the room, gettin warmer up with a two letter rounds, then up the pace on the clock., 'can i get an vowel Carol'.... GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    :D


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  • #67
    SJPK
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 97 ✭✭SJPK


    tripe man wrote: »
    The usual for the time; bending over in front of a mirror and **** to your own asshole.
    :eek:


  • #68
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    Remember when the Sunday World was full of almost naked wimmen, on just about every page there was a young one in a swim suit or skimpy undies !!!!!1

    Oh why did they have to ditch them ? great for horny teenagers lol


  • #69
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Thundercats

    Cheetara gave me the horn


  • #70
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,113 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    A lot more fresh air in the pre-internet days, hiding in the bushes outside some woman's bedroom window.


  • #71
    Crann na Beatha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,763 ✭✭✭✭Crann na Beatha


    This post has been deleted.


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  • #72
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    Eurotrash, loaded magazine, weird, boring French films with nudity/sex.


  • #73
    Trigger13222
    Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭Trigger13222


    Eurothrash,Home and Away :o and the problem page in the Sun.


  • #74
    Encrypted Pigeon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,760 ✭✭✭✭Encrypted Pigeon


    ^ Dani from Home and Away


  • #75
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    I have whacked off to the opening credits of baywatch.

    Theres something wrong with you if the Hoff doesnt make you want to **** your brains out


  • #76
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,316 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    badgerbaiter wrote: »
    the den on rte..before it got unsexy..

    Emma Ledden.


  • #77
    wyndham
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,284 ✭✭✭wyndham


    some random drunk wrote: »
    In my house we didn't get the internet until I was 16. Therefore there were a few years when I was a horny teenager but had no access to decent **** material. Some of the really lame things I pleasured myself to are as follows :o:


    [*]A recording of the Spice Girls singing on Noel's House Party. Used to sneak downstairs late at night just to watch it. F*ck knows how I managed to get turned on by that.

    I found what did it for you op at 2.51 in the video: Have a nostalgia fap.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqRklLyMECA


  • #78
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Lynne from George and Lynne :o;)


  • #79
    Guill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Guill


    wyndham wrote: »
    I found what did it for you op at 2.51 in the video: Have a nostalgia fap.


    How the hell did he fap to that?? :confused:


  • #80
    Intensive Care Bear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 661 ✭✭✭Intensive Care Bear


    Im sure the twins of fun house got a blast or two back in the day oh and speaking of twins the sweet valley high girls too.


  • #81
    Squarewave
    Registered Users Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Squarewave


    Guill wrote: »
    How the hell did he fap to that?? :confused:

    What teenage male could resist the raw sexual attraction of Noel Edmonds in a blonde wig and pink belly top?


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  • #82
    cml387
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,495 ✭✭✭cml387


    Fapping to Noel Edmonds in drag. Gentlemen, we have a winner.


  • #83
    M cebee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭M cebee


    page3

    i hadn't heard about pussy then


  • #84
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    IM0 wrote: »
    eurotrash ftw!

    dont say the romeo cleaners

    me, page 3 and scruff mags


  • #85
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    Fizman wrote: »
    Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

    Dear lord!!! :eek:


  • #86
    cml387
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,495 ✭✭✭cml387


    Health And Efficiency magazine?


  • #87
    Acacia
    Registered Users Posts: 2,816 ✭✭✭Acacia


    I was introduced to internet pron quite late on so probably used lame sh1t to fap to for longer than most! I defo used the home shopping catalogue thing (though being a girl I could actually pass it off as ''just looking at clothes" :P). I used to memorise the covers of Nuts/ Playboy for the '**** bank' cause I was too embarrassed the buy them. The Sun in general was, and continues to be, a great source of soft core pron with the half-nekkid celebs , Page 3 and what not. Again, that could be passed off as just reading the paper (yay!). Prob the lamest thing in relation to that were those old ads for 'sexy ' mobile phone pics. I actually tore out an ad and hid it in my room for weeks. The shame! Also way up there in the sad stakes is sneaking downstairs late one night to watch a re-run of American Pie 2 for the lesbian scene which lasted all of two minutes! Also, why all the porn threads of late in AH? I should probably stop posting in them, I think I'm coming off as a bit of a pervert! :P


  • #88
    Brain Stroking
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,874 ✭✭✭Brain Stroking


    Maeve Binchy novels. "And he slipped inside like a seal would into the sea"

    I blame my adult predilection for murdering the homeless on those forgotten afternoons


  • #89
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    Some of the wimminz in WWF/E.


  • #90
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    Teyla Emmagan wrote: »
    Dear lord!!! :eek:
    I'm guilty as charged.


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  • #91
    MetalDog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 904 ✭✭✭MetalDog


    The tribeswomen in National Geographic. :D


  • #92
    Acacia
    Registered Users Posts: 2,816 ✭✭✭Acacia


    MetalDog wrote: »
    The tribeswomen in National Geographic. :D

    The titties were always a little too saggy for my taste! They should've sorted them out with a few Wonderbras before taking the tit shot!:p


  • #93
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    A friend of mine had a brother a few years younger than her and one day herself and her friend were snooping in his room and found a few porn magazines.

    They were horrified :D so got black markers and drew bras and underpants on all of the women and put the magazines back where they found them.

    Later that night he found them and barged into her room raging and she smiled sweetly and said 'what are you gonna do about it, tell mum? ' :D:D:D


  • #94
    Squ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Squ


    I had my first peddle to Yvette Fielding when she presented Whats Up Doc on Saturday mornings on ITV.

    Still remember she had a jumper with a loose enough neck you could see her shoulder..




    It didn't take long.


  • #95
    Squ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Squ


    Fizman wrote: »
    Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
    Teyla Emmagan wrote: »
    Dear lord!!! :eek:

    Aul Zelda knew how to turn it on for the lads..


  • #96
    skyhighflyer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭skyhighflyer


    Guill wrote: »
    Emmanuel was always on Channel 4, along with Eurotrash and sometimes even the Word had good boobage. If you were lucky they would show somw late night Anime which was bound the show at least some side boob repeatidly.

    Ah Eurotrash, where sometimes you'd have to sit through an entire show of fat middle-aged German naturist couples on the off-chance of seeing a half-decent looking naked woman.

    Emmanuel was pretty good though, can't beat the 70's porn star bush :cool:


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  • #97
    44leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    The horse and the hound.


  • #98
    Vain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,689 ✭✭✭Vain


    Modified Car Mags were good for pics of boobies:D


  • #99
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    DarkJager wrote: »
    Bravo never failed to bring the good ****. Beverley hills bordello being one and then there was those awesome Italian lesbian vampire movies :)

    Vampiros lesbos promised so much and yet delivered so little. It was a think piece about the plight of lesbian vampires in a society which rejected them.


  • #100
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    dr.bollocko wrote: »
    Vampiros lesbos promised so much and yet delivered so little. It was a think piece about the plight of lesbian vampires in a society which rejected them.

    The less said about the risible Horne and Corden flop Lesbian Vampire Killers, the better.


  • #101
    thegreengoblin
    Registered Users Posts: 2,107 ✭✭✭thegreengoblin


    I always remember some Paddy's day parade from the 80s when my pre-teen self decided I was too old to go to it with my family and so I moodily sat at home on my own watching it on RTE1. Was just about to switch it off when those chubby American majorettes appeared on it. I kept watching them in those sheer brown tights and suddenly things became very interesting indeed. ;)


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