Jan and Klodi's Party Bus - part II **off topic discussion**

So, you decide to go for one of Chris Boardman's espresso only spins. You have a few laps of Howth in legs from last night and you feel that year long apathy leave your legs. A quick jaunt from Whitehall to Balbriggan via Swords and back will do the trick. Flat, easy. Relatively pleasant. The child is away so you leave at 7am and will be back in plenty of time for work.

Except it's really foggy and drivers are passing closer than you remember them passing, but it's been awhile since you were out and about, so it's probably just you. Instead you reminisce about the Man O'War races and Nags Head agony and kick on to reach Balbriggan. It's super foggy there, so you mess about on the harbour a bit and head on home.

You figure maybe going the Skerries route will make the day more pleasant, but it's so foggy you can't actually see anything that might make it pleasant and that bus definitely didn't even bother to overtake, so maybe getting off the main road will help. Ah, a nice right turn, under a neat old railway bridge. Have never gone this way, let's explore... Oh? There's a sign here warning cars about a steep hill? Surely it can't be that bad. F'k, it is. Haul my ass up it for I have no idea how long, then things get pleasant again. It's not too bad, so much for flat and easy. Wait, where's this, a small town? Oh, interesting, where's this? Is that "fellow boards person's car"? Am I in Balrothery? Am I ONLY in f'kin Balrothery? Yes, I'm back on the main road, just outside Balbriggan. Checks watch... Ok, still time to spare, I'll make it to work in time.

Back out towards the Applegreen and I decide I don't want to go back towards Swords, cos in all honesty I hate that route. Figure if I cross the M1 at this point I'll get home quicker, except five minutes later, I'm climbing again and have no idea where I am, how far from home I am and now I'm getting phonecalls from clients. Which I ignore, then text them saying I'm in an early morning meeting and can't talk.

Every kilometre I'm sure I recognise my surroundings, at one point I convince myself I'm about to reach Man O'War, then realise how far away from that I am. I have no idea what direction I'm going or distance home and more phonecalls are coming in. In all honesty, I'm starting to panic a bit. I've hit the two hour mark and should be at home now, sitting in from of the machine working away, and, most importantly, eating something. I come to a T-junction, left is 10km to Naul and right is... F'kin Sh!t F'ck 4km to Balbriggan. What the hell am I doing wrong here.

Anyway, I panic spin, all the way back, up the climb out of Naul and into Ballyboughal, where I see the café open but ignore the hunger pangs to get on, past the golf club, up the climb to the Ashbourne road, around the back of the airport, where the wind takes what energy I have left, hit a cat's eye and lose one hand of the bars at the M50 roundabout, and basically freewheel from Ballymun home to stuff my face and pretend like I was there all morning.

The apathy is gone, I guess. It's back to road spins around NCD, but with a planned route next time.

koutoubia wrote: »

My car?

VCB spins on Saturday and Sundays will cure you of your getting lost in NCD symptoms?

I believe so. I may yet join you for those spins. If trackie scum are allowed.