the stop and chat

Speedwell · 16-05-2016 11:25AM

Shint0 wrote: »

Rural folk when they meet someone casually and asked how they are just reply 'Not a bother' and keep going. It sort of encompasses everything. There's not a lot you can say after that. Everythings alright with the world. You should try it Speedwell...in your American accent.

Oh, thank f&ck. I grew up in the American South, where "not a bother" takes 20 minutes and you get the impression you're being graded on your grasp of the local gossip.

davej · 16-05-2016 11:28AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f2LJXz-l2k

HalloweenJack · 16-05-2016 11:29AM

pickarooney wrote: »

Afaik the Spanish, in such situations, just say Adios as hello and goodbye, I acknowledge your presence but will not stop to speak with you.

It depends. If it's just an acquaintance, then yeah. But if it's a friend or relation, be ready for five minutes minimum of mindless chatter.

Just the other day I bumped into my GF's best friend's ex and stood chatting to him for a few mins. It would've been rude not to.

Personally, I'm not a fan of stop and chat. If I've something to say to someone, I'll send them a text. If I want to have a full-blown chat, I'll meet up with them. If I bump into people in the street, I'll just say hi and say I'm busy or whatever.

VisibleGorilla · 16-05-2016 11:46AM

A quick nod and keep walking.

Cina · 16-05-2016 11:53AM

The worst is when I see an old colleague who I knew quite well but not well enough to go "Oh, I'd love to catch up with them on the middle of the street on my way somewhere and delay myself".

So I think, feck it, I'll keep the head down and walk by, pretending I didn't see them. Oh sure, I've seen them, they know I've seen them, they've seen me see them, but they probably don't want to chat either, so they'll do the same, they didn't really like me either, it's fine, keep go.. nope, feck, ok, they're looking at me, they're calling my name, yep, it's happening, and begin .. "Oh jaysus hey John how's things? Never saw you there. It's been so long!"

AnonoBoy · 16-05-2016 12:35PM

There's loads of ways to avoid simple social interactions believe me.

Eyes down.
Cross the road.
Sprint past them, looking backwards saying "They're here! THEY'RE HERE!"
Pretend you're foreign.
Fake a heart attack.
Spit at them and shout, 'YOU TOUCH MY SISTER AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU!"
Say, "Can't stop sorry, I'm running late."

Joshua J · 16-05-2016 12:43PM

There's a lad I'd pass on the road as I'm walking about I guess we have the same routine and been like this for a couple of years. Never really acknowledged each other but didn't he only go and say hello a few weeks ago. Sure that's torn it we'll have to salute each other on the road everytime we cross paths from now on.

Pac1Man · 16-05-2016 12:50PM

Joshua J wrote: »

Never really acknowledged each other but didn't he only go and say hello a few weeks ago.

What a wanker.

Joshua J · 16-05-2016 01:04PM

Pac1Man wrote: »

What a wanker.

That's the jok..... never mind.

Shint0 · 16-05-2016 02:02PM

Joshua J wrote: »

There's a lad I'd pass on the road as I'm walking about I guess we have the same routine and been like this for a couple of years. Never really acknowledged each other but didn't he only go and say hello a few weeks ago. Sure that's torn it we'll have to salute each other on the road everytime we cross paths from now on.

The clock can't be unwound now. No going back from there.
I generally use that approach with some neighbours I wouldn't know. A mad dash into the car so you don't even see them. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Has served me well.

razorblunt · 16-05-2016 02:18PM

Joshua J wrote: »

There's a lad I'd pass on the road as I'm walking about I guess we have the same routine and been like this for a couple of years. Never really acknowledged each other but didn't he only go and say hello a few weeks ago. Sure that's torn it we'll have to salute each other on the road everytime we cross paths from now on.

This.
I walk the same route to work and would normally pass the same people at the same spots. Generally a nod of the head is sufficient but it's always "hilarious" when you catch them closer to your side or theirs and one of you says "either you're late or I'm early ha ha ha".

Joshua J · 16-05-2016 03:26PM

Shint0 wrote: »

The clock can't be unwound now. No going back from there.
I generally use that approach with some neighbours I wouldn't know. A mad dash into the car so you don't even see them. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Has served me well.

It's a long road I'd meet him on too so we can see each other a fair distance out so it's the preparation involved in the hello now, there's a whole rigmarole surrounding it.WHY COULD HE NOT JUST LEFT THINGS AS THEY WERE?. WE WERE HAPPY ONCE.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 16-05-2016 05:39PM

I think the easiest thing to do is just smile at them, acknowledge that you see them and a quick "hi, how are ya" as you walk past them not waiting for them to answer.

There's an aul one who knew my mother, awful miserable. Her husband must whisper sad stories and tales of tragedy to her during foreplay, because that's how much she seems to love bad luck stories. Every single time she meets me she tries stop me for a chat.

"And how are you?"
I'm grand, not a bother! *walking away*
"And come here, how are you since your father died?"
Great, yeah, not a bother.
"And your brother? How's he? I heard he was gone to the bad"
Not a bother Maura! You mind yourself!

She'd walk behind you asking questions. Couldn't be dealing with the likes of it. No more interested in how I am than the man in the moon

holy guacamole · 16-05-2016 05:50PM

I always have my earphones in (yes, I'm that guy) so can easily avoid these awkward interactions. Better still, I can come across as being incredibly friendly without having to speak to someone. A beaming grin, an overly-expressive wave, and I continue on my way, the other person having understood that I was getting my groove on and feeling grateful that I even acknowledged them.

Of course there are occasions when I have to disengage the earphones, usually for people I hardly ever see. These interactions are perhaps even more awkward, preluded as they are by switching off of my music device and the removal of said earphones, while the person stands there patiently waiting for me to talk about absolutely nothing for the next four and a half minutes.

dazed+confused · 16-05-2016 06:04PM

Gwynplaine wrote: »

I do a quick scan of the cars as I'm driving into the supermarket. If I spot a car I know I'll wait it out. I'll even do this for siblings and people closely related.

That's bordering on something you might want to talk to someone about.

Olishi4 · 16-05-2016 06:07PM

I used to pass an old woman's house when I was on my way to secondary school. She lived in the same neighbourhood but we had never spoke.

She was often outside doing the gardening when i was passing her house. Somewhere she got into her head that my name was "Jenny" but its not.

So for about 3 years she used to give me a wave and say "hiya Jenny". I let it go for the first few times so I couldn't then stop and say "eh that's not my name" so it went on for years until one day she stopped me and said "your names not Jenny, is it?". Someone else must have told her. I went red and said "em no

, its Olishi" as if id just commited some heinous crime and then we had an awkward silence.

Shint0 · 16-05-2016 07:33PM

Joshua J wrote: »

It's a long road I'd meet him on too so we can see each other a fair distance out so it's the preparation involved in the hello now, there's a whole rigmarole surrounding it.WHY COULD HE NOT JUST LEFT THINGS AS THEY WERE?. WE WERE HAPPY ONCE.

That sounds like a married couple who have been silent for years and now they're talking and need to work on the relationship :P

Imagine if that poor guy had been psyching himself up for a long time to say hello. Maybe he was in counselling or taking a personal development course trying to become more outgoing and decided to practise his new found skills on you. If you ignore him now it might set back his progress.
*load on the guilt*

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Every single time she meets me she tries stop me for a chat.

"And how are you?"
I'm grand, not a bother! *walking away*
"And come here, how are you since your father died?"
Great, yeah, not a bother.
"And your brother? How's he? I heard he was gone to the bad"
Not a bother Maura! You mind yourself!

She'd walk behind you asking questions.

I know the type LexieOnRale. All you have to say is "I won't be keeping you. I'll let you go. Sure I know you're busy". Use the reverse psychology and make them feel important. Suddenly they realise they have to go home and water the pansies and set jam.

check_six · 17-05-2016 12:15PM

I used to regularly bump into this one lady on the way to work in the morning. She'd call out "Hey check_six! How are you keeping?" and we'd have a brief chat about nothing in particular, and then be on our separate ways. She was terribly friendly and seemed to know me well, but to this day I have no idea who she was, or where I knew her from, at all! Not an inkling.

I think I was thrown the first* time we met and she seemed to know me so well, and I didn't like to cut in with a "Sorry, who are you?" question so it just sort of snowballed from there. (*first time to me as far as I could tell).

Another peculiar one was a time I bumped into a fella I knew I didn't know. Or rather, I just about knew them to see from college, but I didn't know them to talk to. Years and years after leaving college I spot him in a shop and he came bounding over Ned Ryerson from Groundhog Day style and we had a good old chat about the good old days, which was a bit tricky as we didn't have any shared experiences ("Have you been in contact with John? Gas man that John. I wonder how he's getting on?" "I don't know who you are talking about..."). Just about managed to keep it coherent and away from the vast jagged reefs of awkwardness that were threatening to sink us, but I couldn't help thinking that a brief nod and a "how's it going?" in passing would have done the trick just as well.

Aglomerado · 17-05-2016 12:55PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I think the easiest thing to do is just smile at them, acknowledge that you see them and a quick "hi, how are ya" as you walk past them not waiting for them to answer.

There's an aul one who knew my mother, awful miserable. Her husband must whisper sad stories and tales of tragedy to her during foreplay, because that's how much she seems to love bad luck stories. Every single time she meets me she tries stop me for a chat.

"And how are you?"
I'm grand, not a bother! *walking away*
"And come here, how are you since your father died?"
Great, yeah, not a bother.
"And your brother? How's he? I heard he was gone to the bad"
Not a bother Maura! You mind yourself!

She'd walk behind you asking questions. Couldn't be dealing with the likes of it. No more interested in how I am than the man in the moon

Oh god, Dementors, I call them, because they feed on misery like the beings in the Harry Potter series. And, they drive me demented....

I work near one who saw that there was flooding a few months back in my home county.

Nearly every Monday:
"Were you home this weekend?"
"No, but maybe next weekend"
"I'd be interested to know how the floods are going."

Then, weather, traffic, latest crisis ad nauseam until I get to the point where I've to install an app on my phone that makes it ring so I can get away for "a phone call"....

I'm not very good at small talk. But if you find a common thread with me, like music, books, travel or films, I'll talk to you for hours.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 17-05-2016 02:22PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biArkwUaURA&sns=em

HensVassal · 17-05-2016 02:25PM

BettePorter wrote: »

The worst for me is when you're in a queue, say in the post office, and its one of those cordoned off queues that doubles back on itself. And you see someone you know join it a few ppl back who happens to be extremely loud ..... and they shout your name out and proceed to have a very open conversation with you for the whole place to hear.

Gwynplaine · 17-05-2016 02:40PM

dazed+confused wrote: »

That's bordering on something you might want to talk to someone about.

Not at all. I just can't stand small talk. Especially weather talk. And the great price on the veg at the moment.

Shint0 · 17-05-2016 03:12PM

Gwynplaine wrote: »

Not at all. I just can't stand small talk. Especially weather talk. And the great price on the veg at the moment.

If 'you can walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch'.

the stop and chat

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