the stop and chat

Robsweezie · 14-05-2016 12:13AM #1

Do you embrace or avoid it? Depends on the person and the day. Hate making meaningless small talk on the fly as a result of randomly bumping into someone, then not knowing when to end it. It's rarely anything personal against them.

Its a bit awkward and I have on occasion made a turn to avoid them if I see them coming before they see me.

With some you can get away with a smiling "hiya" as you pass by, with others you get dragged into their life story.

How do you feel?

maudgonner · 14-05-2016 12:19AM

The worst is when you do the stop and chat, let's say in a supermarket, it peters out and gets awkward but you eventually end it and bid each other goodbye. Go about your business, round the corner at the end of the aisle...and you walk straight into them again

Cringe!

Robsweezie · 15-05-2016 11:08PM

nobody wants to stop and chat

tomwaterford · 15-05-2016 11:11PM

Robsweezie wrote: »

Do you embrace or avoid it? Depends on the person and the day. Hate making meaningless small talk on the fly as a result of randomly bumping into someone, then not knowing when to end it. It's rarely anything personal against them.

Its a bit awkward and I have on occasion made a turn to avoid them if I see them coming before they see me.

With some you can get away with a smiling "hiya" as you pass by, with others you get dragged into their life story.

How do you feel?

Just keep saying il better leave you off...I'm in a rush

I once arranged flights home to a different airport (Dublin instead of cork) to avoid this awkward hassle/small talk hanging around in the airport waiting in the flight with someone I knew

failinis · 15-05-2016 11:13PM

If I have not seen them for a bit (so we have stuff to actually say to each other) and I am not busy its fine.

EndaHonesty · 15-05-2016 11:15PM

"We should stop meeting like this!" *giggle*

You're welcome.

groucho marx · 15-05-2016 11:16PM

I'm sh1t chatting, I mean chit chatting ☺
I'm not a fan I will try to avoid the person if possible, nothing personal it just usually ends awkwardly.

The Sidewards Man · 15-05-2016 11:20PM

When the horn starts protruding it normally ends the conversation.

OldMrBrennan83 · 15-05-2016 11:21PM

This post has been deleted.

iamtony · 15-05-2016 11:25PM

That person you only kinda sorta know who adds you on Facebook and you accept and then you meet them and you have to talk to them even though you never really spoke to them before:-/

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 15-05-2016 11:27PM

I try avoid it to be honest. I have better things to be doing than explaining myself to aul ones who have nothing better to do than stand around talking scour

KomradeBishop · 15-05-2016 11:29PM

Far from the best sketch of the show - most of them were not great - but reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AISLBrQ-ODE

BunkMoreland · 15-05-2016 11:33PM

There's a guy in work who literally follows you and stares you down with his crazy eyes so he can have a stop and chat.

Fooking annoying

Agricola · 15-05-2016 11:33PM

Hate it. People who are buttery smooth at the aul stop and chats are like wizards to me. It's a dark art I'll never learn. Better to avoid by hiding behind something usually.

Your Face · 15-05-2016 11:34PM

This is soooooo Seinfeld

CFlat · 15-05-2016 11:38PM

I generally dive for my mobile phone and try and look busy with it so as not to engage with some tool who is probably just looking for some gossip. You know the ones who stop and say 'any news'? And you stand there racking your brains trying to give them some information so they'll walk away happy but most importantly, walk away.

Shint0 · 15-05-2016 11:47PM

What I always found slightly awkward is someone you recognise from college lecturers or work in the same building. You have never actually spoken to them yet you see them nearly everyday but never actually made acquaintances with them or know their name. Then you meet them in a completely different context, maybe pass them on the street. You instantly recognise each other and eyeball each other for mere seconds because you have something mutual in common and you almost feel you should acknowledge them. Then you just keep walking. Awkward.

Irish Guitarist · 16-05-2016 12:26AM

There was a man who lived near me years ago and every time he saw me he would ask the same questions about school. The last conversation I had with him went like this:

"Did the teachers hit you much in school?".

"No, corporal punishment was banned by the time I started school"

"What did they hit you with?"

"They weren't allowed to hit us"

"But what would they hit you with?"

"They didn't hit us"

"But if they DID hit you what would they hit you with?"

"I don't know. A belt I suppose"

"Really? Fuck sake"

A few days later he started talking to me again. He was walking down the street with me when I just thought "fuck this" and legged it across the road. He looked at me in shock and never talked to me again.

BettePorter · 16-05-2016 01:00AM

The worst for me is when you're in a queue, say in the post office, and its one of those cordoned off queues that doubles back on itself. And you see someone you know join it a few ppl back who happens to be extremely loud ..... and they shout your name out and proceed to have a very open conversation with you for the whole place to hear.

Gwynplaine · 16-05-2016 07:20AM

I do a quick scan of the cars as I'm driving into the supermarket. If I spot a car I know I'll wait it out. I'll even do this for siblings and people closely related.

Pac1Man · 16-05-2016 09:07AM

maudgonner wrote: »

The worst is when you do the stop and chat, let's say in a supermarket, it peters out and gets awkward but you eventually end it and bid each other goodbye. Go about your business, round the corner at the end of the aisle...and you walk straight into them again

Cringe!

You need to perform the Switchback-A-Rooney. When you say your goodbyes, walk to the end of the aisle and turn back around. Walk back down the same aisle so you are now 'following' them. They are at least an aisle ahead of you now, travelling the same direction.

Hope that they don't pull the same trick though.

pickarooney · 16-05-2016 09:28AM

Afaik the Spanish, in such situations, just say Adios as hello and goodbye, I acknowledge your presence but will not stop to speak with you.

Badly Drunk Boy · 16-05-2016 09:31AM

EndaHonesty wrote: »

"We should stop meeting like this!" *giggle*

You're welcome.

"We should stop meeting like this!" *giggle*

Next aisle:
"We should really stop meeting like this!" *shrug*

Next aisle:
"We should REALLY REALLY stop meeting like this!" *glower*

Last aisle:
"I hate you." *shoot*

Chronicler · 16-05-2016 09:41AM

It's even worse when you see them approaching from a distance and you recognise each other.
Do you continue to maintain eye contact for the whole 20 seconds it takes for you to reach each other?
Do you alter your facial expression from the 'hey, how's it going?' one you've initially adopted or must you maintain the same fixed expression for the whole 'approach period'?

Speedwell · 16-05-2016 09:53AM

Jesus, this is how my particular experience of Asperger's feels all the time. At my age I am able to recognize the low-grade-pain feeling of it and have developed strategies to deal with it. At work it is easy to discuss shared projects and experiences, but when I see someone from my village in the shop and they say hello... ma'am, you are perfectly sweet and thank you for recognizing me, and I'm so sorry I react like a cat diving under the nearest car while trying desperately to keep eye contact and say meaningful things, and I don't mean to have no manners, I remembered I was supposed to ask about your husband and little girl ten minutes later while I was putting away my groceries.

It seems weird that I can stop and chat with somebody who stops me and asks me questions about American politics because he heard my accent, but I am right as rain when you let me speak about a subject I can have an opinion about. It's small talk, social talk, "aye, aren't you yer wan that Mr Local Bloke's son married" talk that freezes me in the headlights.

razorblunt · 16-05-2016 09:59AM

Always keep walking but turn to have a few words so you look like you want to stay and chat but you're a busy man and the world won't wait.

"Hey, how's it going?"
-"Long time no see, what are you up to"
"Ah you know yourselfrightingthewrongsoftheworldgottorunnowbutsayhitothefamilyforme....."

maudgonner · 16-05-2016 10:03AM

There's bound to be an app that lets you make your phone 'ring' so that you can see 'Sorry, it's work, I'll have to take it - they wouldn't be ringing me out of hours unless it was urgent', and then walk off having a fake conversation.

If there isn't I'm going to develop it now.

Lyaiera · 16-05-2016 10:06AM

Speedwell wrote: »

Jesus, this is how my particular experience of Asperger's feels all the time. At my age I am able to recognize the low-grade-pain feeling of it and have developed strategies to deal with it. At work it is easy to discuss shared projects and experiences, but when I see someone from my village in the shop and they say hello... ma'am, you are perfectly sweet and thank you for recognizing me, and I'm so sorry I react like a cat diving under the nearest car while trying desperately to keep eye contact and say meaningful things, and I don't mean to have no manners, I remembered I was supposed to ask about your husband and little girl ten minutes later while I was putting away my groceries.

It seems weird that I can stop and chat with somebody who stops me and asks me questions about American politics because he heard my accent, but I am right as rain when you let me speak about a subject I can have an opinion about. It's small talk, social talk, "aye, aren't you yer wan that Mr Local Bloke's son married" talk that freezes me in the headlights.

That post has done more for me understanding Aspergers that the tonnes of stuff I've read before. Nice insight on the stop and chat phenomenon.

eamonnq · 16-05-2016 10:10AM

maudgonner wrote: »

There's bound to be an app that lets you make your phone 'ring' so that you can see 'Sorry, it's work, I'll have to take it - they wouldn't be ringing me out of hours unless it was urgent', and then walk off having a fake conversation.

If there isn't I'm going to develop it now.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.popularapp.fakecall&hl=en

i71jskz5xu42pb · 16-05-2016 10:14AM

Your Face wrote: »

This is soooooo Seinfeld

Well Larry David
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f2LJXz-l2k

Shint0 · 16-05-2016 11:08AM

Speedwell wrote: »

but when I see someone from my village in the shop and they say hello...

Rural folk when they meet someone casually and asked how they are just reply 'Not a bother' and keep going. It sort of encompasses everything. There's not a lot you can say after that. Everythings alright with the world. You should try it Speedwell...in your American accent.

the stop and chat

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