Can't adapt to working

liam650 · 14-05-2016 03:11PM

doc11 wrote: »

Common thread among posters is that Everyone else is crap at there job but they get repeatedly fired because they are too good or because the world/society is against them.

Home truths will hit home someday:rolleyes:

So someone who scans the items slow in a supermarket and holds up the line is too good for me? and i can do the same job in a faster time with more efficiency? come on, men lie, women lie, but numbers and facts dont lie

Stepping Stone · 14-05-2016 03:42PM

liam650 wrote: »

The autism spectrum? definetley not, that's the problem here, most people who have commented here are just like the general working population, no one seems to want to listen to the fact that I DO MY JOB BETTER, except i cant talk crap like the rest, and the thing about talking about peoples weight, well the environment is a gym and I am in shape, because i take it serious, but for some overweight person who hasn't a clue about fitness to be taken on instead of me, even though i fit the job description better, but I suppose sure anyone can do anything once they can gossip and talk crap

A quick perusal of your posting history reveals that you have very little work experience, that you are approximately in your mid 20s and that you are studying business.

Perhaps the lady who did get the job had qualifications, experience, great references and a great personality.

If you are being 'released' from employment, then your references won't be great, will they? If your attitude stems from your opinion of yourself based on physical appearance and possibly what you are studying, then you need to reassess your self worth.

Do you have friends, if yes, go and speak to them and ask if they have any pointers relating to your interactions with coworkers. If you don't have friends...then I am not surprised.

A quick look at your posting history reveals a serious attitude problem, so unless you manage to fix it now, that €80k-€100k salary won't happen.

Tipsy McSwagger · 14-05-2016 03:43PM

A great piece of advice to the OP which has always stuck with me,

'If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole'.

Billy86 · 14-05-2016 03:47PM

liam650 wrote: »

The autism spectrum? definetley not, that's the problem here, most people who have commented here are just like the general working population, no one seems to want to listen to the fact that I DO MY JOB BETTER, except i cant talk crap like the rest, and the thing about talking about peoples weight, well the environment is a gym and I am in shape, because i take it serious, but for some overweight person who hasn't a clue about fitness to be taken on instead of me, even though i fit the job description better, but I suppose sure anyone can do anything once they can gossip and talk crap

But you don't do your job better. Your attitude towards people with weight problems would drive away an important demographic for any gym, and while Fat Sam Tarley beside you might not be in as good of shape as you or know as much about fitness, people (not only staff, but as if not more importantly, paying customers) are going to feel far less intimidated and more welcomed around him than they will around you.

You do realise the image of the buff-as-f**k people who work in gyms and look down their noses all day at people in worse shape than them is what drives lots of people away from going back, or even going in the first place at all? If that's you (and going off your posts, it would appear to be), then you're bad for business and that's all there is to it.

Rather than dismiss everyone's input thus far, it would benefit not only the thread, but more importantly you, to engage with them individually. You've come on here asking for help and advise, so do yourself a favour and try to take in what people are telling you. Even if you disagree with it, try to take it in and give back a valid reason why you disagree with it. The fact that this isn't a one off in a single job shows that it is very much not them and it very much is you. Some introspection would do you massive benefits, just look at Littletoe's post about getting fired from a school.

liam650 · 14-05-2016 03:47PM

Tipsy McSwagger wrote: »

A great piece of advice to the OP which has always stuck with me,

'If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole'.

True in theory but its not exactly as im running into assholes all day, just one or 2 that take exception to the way i am

Ursus Horribilis · 14-05-2016 03:48PM

liam650 wrote: »

So someone who scans the items slow in a supermarket and holds up the line is too good for me? and i can do the same job in a faster time with more efficiency? come on, men lie, women lie, but numbers and facts dont lie

Nobody is doubting that you are very good at your job. This isn't about how fast you get customers through the till or how quickly you stack a shelf or sweep the floor. There appears to be something so wrong with your general personality and demeanour that it's making employers let you go time and time again.

Billy86 · 14-05-2016 03:54PM

liam650 wrote: »

So someone who scans the items slow in a supermarket and holds up the line is too good for me? and i can do the same job in a faster time with more efficiency? come on, men lie, women lie, but numbers and facts dont lie

Someone who scans the items slower because they are engaging the customer, being polite and making them feel welcome -- so they will come back again -- yes, they are absolutely doing their job better than you.

I used to work in AA insurance and frequently had it pulled up that my average call time to produce a quote was far too long, but whenever someone approached me about it, I'd just point out that I had about triple the average company close rate and was getting a bunch of referrals in as well.

Which is better, the person who keeps their calls under 8 minutes and produces 30 quotes a day, selling 4 policies? Or the person who takes longer on calls, produces 20 quotes a day, but sells 8 policies, some of which were referrals that wanted to do business with me (and thus, the AA) before even ever picking up the phone to call?

Businesses lose regular customers every single day at the check out, and other businesses gain new regulars every single day at the check out. I'm a smoker (horrible habit, yes) and recently changed which shop I go to near work for them because the guy in one shop is just so friendly, even though the queue in the other place moves quicker.

Littletoe · 14-05-2016 04:13PM

liam650 wrote: »

Littletoe that story is amazing, you showed the signs of a proper employee and what did you get from it, fired because some boss decided to bring in one of there more than likely useless cronies, just thinking about it angers me, its just typical of most jobs these days, hence why service and speed is terribly bad, people not fit for the jobs

I don't want to get too distracted by too many external influencing factors because I think the point I was trying to make was how you can help yourself by examining your own influencing factors if there are any, that way you can see where your past may be colouring your current or future experiences. So I'm writing this as if I were speaking to you directly rather than attempting to highlight issues within workplaces, integrity, morals or personal values or other issues which might stir the pot.

For example for me it was difficult to trust people, especially co workers or supervisors and as I no longer knew what I should do to please employers or which course of action would be the best to take in my roles I expected that prophecy be fulfilled everytime. Not being able to trust or expecting the worst from employers and co workers more often than not leads to you continuing to get what you expect but that is something you can address and a lot if it revolves around the core of your own perceptions and how they evolved.

First of all try and disengage from the moral merry go round that is keeping you caught up in why things are right or wrong in your own experience. (They may be but you can only control your own end of things so don't sweat it) Once you stop focusing on the environment around you, your cocentration will naturally revert back to balance with yourself and you will be able to start seeing more positive benefits available to you. You'll know when you're there when you don't feel angry about things anymore. If you can accept that ultimately the job was a decision you made to go for, despite the rights or wrongs of it and so you are responsible for your being in it then you can forgive yourself for putting yourself through it in the first place. Once you can stop investing your energy in the blame game the anger will fade.

davo10 · 14-05-2016 05:00PM

In a few more years when you have lost a few more jobs you might realise that being good at your job is not solely about performing well, personality and attitude go a long way.

The 3 A's employers look for, aptitude, attitude and ambition.

Littletoe · 14-05-2016 05:48PM

Liam I'm willing to put a tenner on you each way to have your 70-80K job a few years down the line. Go for it.

Ursus Horribilis · 14-05-2016 05:58PM

I've had a read back through the OP's posting history. Very enlightening... I have to say that if I was an employer and your CV landed on my desk today I would be asking very serious questions about your patchy employment history. You're 25 years of age - you should have a lot more to show at your age than you do. Years ago when I started at university, the careers advisor stressed to us the importance of having some sort of summer job or part-time job. It didn't have to be anything particularly earth-shattering - just proof that you're capable of holding down a job and working with people. What sort of signal do you think a mostly blank employment record and a smattering of short-lived jobs will give to potential employers? People with degrees are ten-a-penny so you're nothing special.

What makes you think that if you got a job in business management, that you'll do any better when it comes to interacting with your colleagues? You seem to have made a hames of it up until now. One of the things that working with other people should be doing for you is teaching you how to work alongside others, to become less judgemental and to connect with them. I'm not seeing any of that. You can bitch all you want about fatty the slowcoach in checkout number 4 and how badly run workplaces are. Or indeed say you're quiet and introverted. None of these are going to keep you in a job or stop people disliking you enough to let you go. If you're to succeed at all in your career, you're going to have to work on your people skills big time. If you're serious about this, it might be time to contact a therapist and try CBT or something like that.

Baron Kurtz · 14-05-2016 06:01PM

OP probably works with some serious oiks with a penchant for treating a workplace like a playground. Tough gig I'd imagine but moving on is the solution.

Billy86 · 14-05-2016 06:08PM

Baron Kurtz wrote: »

OP probably works with some serious oiks with a penchant for treating a workplace like a playground. Tough gig I'd imagine but moving on is the solution.

I would be inclined to take that opinion if it were not for the fact that they are talking about pretty much every job they have had, and not just the one.

Littletoe · 14-05-2016 06:28PM

Billy86 wrote: »

I would be inclined to take that opinion if it were not for the fact that they are talking about pretty much every job they have had, and not just the one.

Maybe I've read wrong but from reading through the ops most recent history I don't see a vast amount of job descriptions, maybe you could point that out. What I do see was someone who completed a degree last year so primarily has been in education possibly with part time student work or summer hours. I'm not sure if I picked up some emphasis on a JobBridge internship, in which case the op has my complete understanding and while the mob mentality of undermining any effort to try and resolve work issues is mainly littered with "you're obviously useless" and anecdotes of how it were in my day, the reality of factors like economic growth and jobs market, which is still dismally poor in many areas of the country, combined with the fallout of working on a free labour scheme partially designed to reduce employee motivation might need to be considered more deeply.

I get he's young and aspiration all but I've seen bigger dicks in better jobs than this one. In fact, it's practically a requirement.

Billy86 · 14-05-2016 06:53PM

It was in their OP "So I am finding it difficult to find work but when I do I always get let go very quickly, "

Littletoe · 14-05-2016 06:56PM

Billy86 wrote: »

It was in their OP "So I am finding it difficult to find work but when I do I always get let go very quickly, "

I read the opening post too but I didn't get the same quantitive values from it as you did.

davo10 · 14-05-2016 07:00PM

Littletoe wrote: »

I read the opening post too but I didn't get the same quantitive values from it as you did.

"I always get let go very quickly",

"Always" equals all/every/100%, it doesn't matter whether it's 5 or 50, a quantitative pattern has formed, the op is always let go. "Very quickly" can be subjective, for some that means within weeks, for others it is within the first year.

Bongalongherb · 14-05-2016 07:10PM

The OP is correct. Most folk you work with are just basic idiots, the garbage they talk about all day would damage your brain if you had to constantly deal with them. Unfortunately we all have to try and adapt to their garbage some way and horrifically put up with it to keep the job. It's just life jim but not as we know it.

I have no interest at all in football, I think it's for knuckle draggers, but I have to make the effort to study the teams so as to not just blank them all day as much as it kills me.

Best of luck OP. Give it a try anyway. If you just can't handle the idiots then you just have to look for a job that doesn't deal with brain damage from having to listen to Neanderthal talk all day. In saying this though, one of the co-workers is actually sound, the other 13 would give you brain damage.

liam650 · 14-05-2016 07:13PM

My work experience is limited but ive been in enough positions to know that all the workplace environments are the same, whether it be a gym, an office, a supermarket, fast food place etc. there are a lot of 2 faced people as well, they will talk to you grand one minute then the next there odd, if you have an argument, they come back the next day like nothing happened, i just cant deal with that, its bi polar behavior to me, same with the bosses, 1 min they give out then the next there making jokes laughing and im staring at them like they have 2 heads and im the one looked at as odd?

All i look for is to be accepted for who i am, do my job description, be polite, there have been situations where i have gotten along with people but only in cases where them people are genuinely not 2 faced, got along great with them, jealousy is an awful thing and it exists so much in workforce

Ursus Horribilis · 14-05-2016 07:16PM

You must have quite a talent for finding workplaces filled with these awful people.

Littletoe · 14-05-2016 07:18PM

davo10 wrote: »

Always equals all/every/100%, it doesn't matter whether it's 5 or 50, a quantitative pattern has formed, the op is always let go.

So did you actually read the old history? JobBridge internship? Dunnes, the employer renowned for impeccably high employee standards? Was this part time work during college or summer work experience? Has the op had other work he may have done that might give us more information about the issues he's experiencing, maybe a role he had before doing business management which led to a change of career direction.

There are many factors that might need to be taken into consideration not least of which is the current job market and the race to the bottom of staff engagement, pay and morale that is JobBridge.

I read threads a lot about the difficulties faced by young men in this country and especially how the factors of employment and status has been affected by years of recession, specifically in the generation of Liam's age group. Seeing how sensitive most people here are about their own upstanding employment record, it's not beyond the realms of understanding to consider that pride plays a major role in being able to hash these issues out.

I think it takes a lot of courage to stand up and ask for help, which is what the IP originally intended, albeit with a vent, and that's OK too but I hardly the solution in denigrating and disparaging the op given the lack of information and while it's easy to make throwaway judgments based on what you read in an online forum people would do well to put themselves in someone's shoes and walk a mile in them before confirming them to a life of dysfunction.

Next time you see a thread discussing male suicide rates and so seeing what can be done about it.

I think the op just hasn't found the right role yet, but I don't doubt that he will, maybe checking out some career coaching books or courses might give you a better insight into what it is you want to do. I get that you're angry and maybe some roles have affected your ability but trust me when I say there are decent people out there and once you tune your antenna to the right frequency you'll find them in your vacinity more often. Best of luck.

Ursus Horribilis · 14-05-2016 07:31PM

liam650 wrote: »

My work experience is limited but ive been in enough positions to know that all the workplace environments are the same, whether it be a gym, an office, a supermarket, fast food place etc. there are a lot of 2 faced people as well, they will talk to you grand one minute then the next there odd, if you have an argument, they come back the next day like nothing happened, i just cant deal with that, its bi polar behavior to me, same with the bosses, 1 min they give out then the next there making jokes laughing and im staring at them like they have 2 heads and im the one looked at as odd?

All i look for is to be accepted for who i am, do my job description, be polite, there have been situations where i have gotten along with people but only in cases where them people are genuinely not 2 faced, got along great with them, jealousy is an awful thing and it exists so much in workforce

Out of curiosity, do you have a history of being in the wars with people? Between teenage part-time jobs and later on, proper jobs, I'm working 20 years now. I've worked in loads of places and I've only encountered a fraction of the people and the drama that you seem to be attracting. You also have a very cynical view of workplace relations and the way people behave in them. I can't help but wonder are you bringing a lot of this onto yourself.

In theory, there is nothing wrong with what you want. To be polite, doing your job and going home. But I am convinced that you are doing something wrong in there somewhere. I've never been let go from any job and most of my friends never have either. I mean, what on earth do you have to do to be fired from your average supermarket type job? Can you state, hand on heart, that you aren't giving off unpleasant vibes to your colleagues? Or more to the point - what are you doing to your managers? What are they seeing that's making them thing it'd be better to let you go? That is the crux of the matter. If you land another job and this happens again, I strongly advise you to look for feedback.

TG1 · 14-05-2016 08:40PM

What kind of jobs are you working that it's ok to have arguments with people? I've worked in office environments and in retail and in equestrian facilities, in big multinationals, medium sized companies a five man operation and a tiny family run business and have had an argument with a colleague once, it lasted all of five minutes and both came to our senses and apologised for behaving like children!

Arguments are not ok in a work environment, problems should be discussed and dealt with calmly and rationally. if you are repeatedly causing problems with colleagues and behaving unprofessionaly then it's no wonder you were let go!

Benevolent Misanthrope · 14-05-2016 08:50PM

What comes to mind for me is Asperger's Syndrome. I've a brother who I'm 99% sure is on the spectrum, but he has no idea. Ah, having looked briefly at the thread I see that's been raised.

ArnieSilvia · 14-05-2016 09:01PM

I sympathise with OP, been there done that. And did business studies too that I haven't used so far

. I take pride of myself and keep high standard of my work, I make sure that I always look well dressed, I'm highly motivated and know where I want to be. I really didn't want to spend breakfast and lunch with my colleagues but at least I make an effort and if there's nothing interesting going on I just use my phone and read news. In my current job I openly say that I've no interest in gossip, football, betting or going out together drinking. I do, however, try to engage in rare conversations on other topics and most of the time initiate conversations which wreck my colleague's heads as all they want is small talk. Somehow, it works to certain exent because I'm strong enough, but you can see it can lead to isolation and being laughed at a lot. I did openly criticising the boss thing as well in my last job (their decisions were plain wrong which life proved later). Why? because I cared about the company (the greater goal) rather that particular person, been let go for this as well. Can't be ar*ed anymore, I just let these people make mistakes.

One day some new guy at work of similar "qualities" (who isn't popular may I add) told me basically that I'm full of s**t because I think that I know everything best, that I think of everyone that they are below me because of what I wear every day (mandatory suit trousers and shirt, colour/pattern matched of course with some brave moves sometimes for pure fun, again, this is wrecking their heads

). So I explained to him that while I live a successful life I don't know everything the best but I'm trying to be happy with what I have and use acquired skills and knowledge as a leverage for the future as part of a greater plan. In terms of clothes I explained that I wear them because once I learned how to sew I also learned how much work and craftmanship goes into making high quality clothes and I learned how to distinguish good material from bad, well fitting from poor fitting etc so now I just can't wear ill fitting clothes if I know how to dress to look the best I can. Which in turn raises issue of high standard I try to pursue in my life in everything I do. There's not many people out there who aim for the best quality. Most are happy with average and lots are happy with absolute cr*p with some chancers in the mix.

So what I told the man in the end? I thanked him for honest feedback and for not being double faced, for courage and will to discuss difficult things in life. I respect him a lot and his advice helped me to change the stance a bit to adjust to work environment in a way "I let you lot live your life because you think you know better and I won't change it", I think twice before saying anything and try not to be awkward in general. I stopped trying to have a conversation at lunch so I'm not wrecking their heads anymore, just use my phone instead. Everybody happy? Well, not really, it looks like it went around the circle.

One thing to add (that might apply to OP), when I spoke with career coach I was told that I should aim to run my own business or become a company director. Easier said than done !

Littletoe · 14-05-2016 09:15PM

ArnieSilvia wrote: »

One thing to add (that might apply to OP), when I spoke with career coach I was told that I should aim to run my own business or become a company director. Easier said than done !

I had a career coach who informed me that she would hire me in an act because she knew she would never have to ask if the work was done. She laughed when I told her I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. I spent three months participating on that training module so she had a pretty good idea of the extent of my capabilities. It was the complete opposite of what a former employer had told me so I never expected I would end up doing what I do now, I sort of fell into it but it works well for me now and I would never go back to the way things were. Sometimes all you need is to have someone believe in you.

(apologies for any typos my fone is laggy as fock)

Benevolent Misanthrope · 14-05-2016 09:17PM

Just to note that a career coach is not doing their job if they don't boost your confidence.

Littletoe · 14-05-2016 09:18PM

Benevolent Misanthrope wrote: »

Just to note that a career coach is not doing their job if they don't boost your confidence.

Sometimes that's all that's required.

Stheno · 14-05-2016 09:19PM

ArnieSilvia wrote: »

One thing to add (that might apply to OP), when I spoke with career coach I was told that I should aim to run my own business or become a company director. Easier said than done !

Polite way of saying " you're not a team player" imo

Benevolent Misanthrope · 14-05-2016 09:19PM

Littletoe wrote: »

Sometimes that's all that's required.

Seriously, you should look into the Asperger's thing. My brother would be stunned (and offended) if I told him what I thought. He thinks everyone else is weird.

Can't adapt to working

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