Do you know anyone who's homeless?

zef · 24-04-2016 02:42PM

Her first few fays and nights they left her alone as she was in shock, she says.Then they asked her to fill out a lot of paperwork. She is at the far end of Dublin from her family & friends although there is a refuge in our town, she was never offered a place in it.
COH I would love to go into more detail, but that would make her recognisable perhaps to her ex, his family, or anyone who googles 'womens refuges Ireland' this thread could come up.
You are right though, she is struggling. Obviously it's better than being in fear of a beating from a 6' something man, but she still does not feel 'safe' and is not 'allowed' stay over with me once or twice a week. I don't have the room to take her in-the odd night on the couch is fine, but you know yourself..., plus she seems in constant shock and really needs some form of therapy for her self esteem.
Yes she is registered as homeless, and I don't know if the forms are the assessment, but to date hasn't had a one-on-one talk session with anyone. She was given a photocopy of 'the wheel of abuse'- which I'd shown her previously to encourage her into refuge, thats been her 'therapy' so far. And daily hearing stories about the girls going into town with tinfoil- lined bags to steal or lure each other out for physical fights.
I'm sure there are good refuges, I hope my friend is moved to one as she is very fragile emotionally atm and finds it hard to speak up for herself or ask for what she needs. Stuff like hearing other women talk about her saying "she only has one pair of shoes' or whatever has upset her also.

caille · 24-04-2016 06:35PM

I have known two people who were homeless and both now living in their own homes, working and in relationships. They were young when they went looking for help and were directed to the right resources, at the time. Still took them nearly 10 years to get to where they are now though.

24-04-2016 07:27PM

Jawgap wrote: »

The one abiding (and scary) thought I'm always left with is that we are all just one or two bad decisions away from being in that situation.

I think most people would be very unlikely to end up homeless. The majority can move home or live with relatives if the worst comes to the worst, of course there are some who have fallen out with everyone etc but these are most likely people with lots of issue rather than one or two things going wrong.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Looking at the poll, i'm kind of surprised how many people don't know someone who is homeless.. Am i alone in this?.

I wouldn't have expected too many people to know someone who is homeless?

eviltwin · 24-04-2016 07:33PM

I was homeless myself for a while and have worked in domestic violence services so a few colleagues would have been through the system and homeless themselves in the past.

FTA69 · 25-04-2016 12:10PM

Marissa Obedient Muzzle wrote: »

This is the attitude that has left a lot of Irish people (men mostly) living terrible lives in London in particular, I don't get it at all. Nobody thinks those who come back are a failure, in fact family are glad when people come back.

Being homeless or living in a dive just not to move home is insanity imo.

I see where you're coming from but by the time I moved into the dive I at least had a job and a position to improve from. Similarly my girlfriend had moved over as well and was living outside London so upping sticks wasn't an option for me at the time.

In retrospect it was a very difficult and frustrating period in my life but at the time I managed to get an internship on the go whioch subsequently led me to the job I'm in now and on the verge of buying my own gaff in London. I'm glad I stuck with it and it paid off.

However, you are right in the sense that allowing yourself to get into dire straits because of pride is foolish but it's far from easy to wind up back home facing unemployment and the drudge you left behind because you couldn't make it somewhere else.

HensVassal · 25-04-2016 12:50PM

I know a bloke who married the wrong woman. Had a child with her and then she decided her ducks were lined up nicely and divorced him, sought and won custody and then fleeced him for as much as she could in terms of support and alimony. So while she's got all her needs taken care of and doesn't work, he by comparison is working like a trojan but sleeping on a friend's couch because he can't afford a place of his own since she takes most of his income.
He's got a roof over his head be he doesn't have a home.

Jawgap · 25-04-2016 01:31PM

Marissa Obedient Muzzle wrote: »

I think most people would be very unlikely to end up homeless. The majority can move home or live with relatives if the worst comes to the worst, of course there are some who have fallen out with everyone etc but these are most likely people with lots of issue rather than one or two things going wrong.

I wouldn't have expected too many people to know someone who is homeless?

If you're living with relatives you're still to a degree homeless as you lack 'control' over your environment - you're living in a home, but it's someone else's home.

FizzleSticks · 25-04-2016 02:17PM

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25-04-2016 03:05PM

FizzleSticks wrote: »

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That's the thing though (and as someone else posted earlier in the thread) when I think of homeless its someone sleeping on the streets, this to me is what homeless is, I'd also see people who spend the night in a homeless hostel and are back on the streets first thing in the morning etc as homeless.

But if you have somewhere to go, particularly if its your home house then you are not homeless imo. I'm not saying someone living in a B&B etc is in a good situation or someone sleeping on a friends couch but I wouldn't see them as truly homeless.

eviltwin · 25-04-2016 03:07PM

Marissa Obedient Muzzle wrote: »

That's the thing though (and as someone else posted earlier in the thread) when I think of homeless its someone sleeping on the streets, this to me is what homeless is, I'd also see people who spend the night in a homeless hostel and are back on the streets first thing in the morning etc as homeless.

But if you have somewhere to go, particularly if its your home house then you are not homeless imo. I'm not saying someone living in a B&B etc is in a good situation or someone sleeping on a friends couch but I wouldn't see them as truly homeless.

If people's goodwill and a spare couch is the only thing keeping you from the hostels or a doorway then you are homeless.

MilesMorales1 · 25-04-2016 06:45PM

I think homeless depends on wherever you count homeless as sleeping rough, or not having a fixed address while staying with relatives/couch surfing.

FizzleSticks · 25-04-2016 11:16PM

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JupiterKid · 26-04-2016 02:04AM

Last summer I was in alcohol rehab with two lads who had been homeless for extended periods of their lives. They gave me a real insight into homelessness. Sometimes its pride that prevented them from seeking help from family or friends. You don't have to be sleeping rough on the streets to be homeless - crashing at a friend's or family member's place is also being homeless.

Most of us are really only a few pay checks/bad decisions away from being homeless - homelessness can happen with frightening speed.

Having a home to call your own is a basic human right.

JustAThought · 26-04-2016 05:16AM

Half the people in my work are young & rent - they are always banging on about their 'rights' to a house and housing ' entitlements' - the same crowd have nice cars, trendy holidays several times a year, all the feativals & gigs they can fit in. The multi-mlion euro industry around ' homelessness' has cemented a false sense of entitlement - that someone else will save, make lifestyle sacrifices to put together a solid deposit, show regular propeiety & saving patterns , & take the hit on risk etc while others demand to be given their rent or worse a house for free at others expense . The freeloading cliche of so called homelessness industry should be replaced by compulsorary rehab centers & addiction centers with proper medical & social supports & learning modules to offset the disadvantages in life some people have had & the gaps they need filling. Dublin is awash with agencies all providing free meals, hang out centers, clothes wash & replacement, medical aid etc The waste & replication in this area is unbelievable.

However the current assumption that all & sundry who want or demand it will be given a house foc & looked after in it for the rest of their lives is sickening and that once you declare yourself homeless & get on a list age 18 that if you scream long enough you will be given what you demand is simply shocking. Not to mention the thousands flocking to demand this.
This is not communist russia or cuba - this is a caring but not communist state - and the tax demands on the individuals & families working to pay their way is already horrific - perhaps someone will give me a house for free too? No - well, better get on with the grind of working, paying my way, making good decisions & sacrifices & behaving within societies boundaries & within the law. Unlike many 'homeless'.

YerMasYerDa · 27-04-2016 08:38PM

My post made no sense like my OD made no sense to myself at the time. So I had an OD and told my mate about it. Supposedly it was legal herbal the original homeless people told me. When I told my mate he said yeah people from Dublin have supposedly been giving it out like crazy recently and he knows a girl who ended up in hospital from using it. I only half took what he said at the time after finishing the convo. I remembered the fact that the guy who gave me it was actually from Dublin himself since I vaguely remember talking to him about GAA before me myself passing out and being found nonresponsive.

The guy who told me about it didn't have good words to say about people from Dublin to say the least. Just like a lot of people don't have much good to say about Romanians here (they mean Roma as I said).

Shint0 · 27-04-2016 09:20PM

Yes I knew lots. I used to work in the sector. Too many lives snuffed out that never got reported on. It was shocking really.

JustAThought · 26-05-2016 06:06AM

Shint0 wrote: »

Yes I knew lots. I used to work in the sector. Too many lives snuffed out that never got reported on. It was shocking really.

ALL deaths have to be reported regardless if at home or in an institution or prison or hostel or in state sponsored care or nursing home. The gaurds & garda doctor have to sign off before the body can be removed by the state to undertakers. It is law that ANY sudden death has an autopsy & medical inquest - as well as any death in state care, in hospitals after a fall, if no doctor has been visited for the previous two weeks or is not very clear from this last visit, if it happened after a change of medication or surgery - there is a lengthy list . To say lots are not investigated is utter nonsense.

Lady is a tramp · 26-05-2016 07:02AM

I know a lady who recently became homeless after her husband left her. She's maybe in her 50s, had never worked since having kids, was always financially dependent on him. He was meant to give her some of the proceeds of selling the house when the marriage broke down, he hasn't yet. So she's living in a homeless hostel, she's the only women there with a load of men. They're all kicked out at 9am each morning so she's basically left to wander the streets for the day.

Actually now that I think about it, I know quite a few people who are homeless or who had been homeless at some stage. I've been through treatment centres for alcoholism a couple of times, you meet some very interesting characters along the way! I also know quite a few people who've spent time in prison, sound lads, who I like and respect very much ... but who have done really terrible things when alcohol/drugs were involved.

Shint0 · 03-06-2016 11:23PM

JustAThought wrote: »

ALL deaths have to be reported regardless if at home or in an institution or prison or hostel or in state sponsored care or nursing home. The gaurds & garda doctor have to sign off before the body can be removed by the state to undertakers. It is law that ANY sudden death has an autopsy & medical inquest - as well as any death in state care, in hospitals after a fall, if no doctor has been visited for the previous two weeks or is not very clear from this last visit, if it happened after a change of medication or surgery - there is a lengthy list . To say lots are not investigated is utter nonsense.

I didn't say they were never investigated. I was referring to non-coverage in the media compared to other sudden deaths in strange or unusual circumstances. Perhaps I should have clarified that.

getzls · 07-06-2016 11:38PM

I was temporary homeless once.
An ex locked me out while I was going to the bin.
I stayed in the shed for nine days expecting her to let me in again.
No.

No food no coffee, only thing she did for me was to charge my phone.

After nine days I had enough and phoned a friend who got me

He phoned around and they got me into a Hostel.
Was ok there but I found most of the residents there had mental health or drug problems.

Not enough to keep them in Hospital but enough to stop them living on their own.

No where else to put them.

tomofson · 16-07-2016 02:20PM

There is a very good chance I will be homeless myself this coming monday...

Lady is a tramp · 16-07-2016 02:26PM

tomofson wrote: »

There is a very good chance I will be homeless myself this coming monday...

For real though? Are you actually intending to sleep on the streets? Do you have a sleeping bag?

I don't have a home but I've my car, and relatives to sleep with when I need to. Actually I don't think any of my friends or family would turn me away if I were in need of a roof over my head.

It's not all bad. Currently I'm in my parents' house and getting spoilt with mammy dinners.

But yeah, I'm certainly not homeless. I think most people don't even comprehend the awfulness and sadness that comes with knowing that there's not a single person in your life who'd ask you to your house, and try to keep you alive.

I'm one of the lucky ones.

tomofson · 16-07-2016 02:30PM

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

For real though? Are you actually intending to sleep on the streets? Do you have a sleeping bag?

I don't have a home but I've my car, and relatives to sleep with when I need to. Actually I don't think any of my friends or family would turn me away if I were in need of a roof over my head.

It's not all bad. Currently I'm in my parents' house and getting spoilt with mammy dinners.

But yeah, I'm certainly not homeless. I think most people don't even comprehend the awfulness and sadness that comes with knowing that there's not a single person in your life who'd ask you to your house, and try to keep you alive.

I'm one of the lucky ones.

Nope I've got none of those things and I don't know what I am going to do this coming monday... I don't even know where to go who to talk to, nothing
I don't know what I am going to do or where I am going to sleep...
I cant help but to think you said all that to be deliberately patronizing but if so dont bother nothing you say will hurt me I have already been through it all and still standing and i'll get through this...

Gen.Zhukov · 17-07-2016 12:23AM

tomofson wrote: »

Nope I've got none of those things and I don't know what I am going to do this coming monday... I don't even know where to go who to talk to, nothing
I don't know what I am going to do or where I am going to sleep...
I cant help but to think you said all that to be deliberately patronizing but if so dont bother nothing you say will hurt me I have already been through it all and still standing and i'll get through this...

I really don't see anything " deliberately patronising " in the post at all.

MilesMorales1 · 17-07-2016 12:32AM

Handy enough if your one of the lucky ones. Lot of us aren't, or weren't, whatever.

Neyite · 17-07-2016 02:55AM

1.618 wrote: »

I really don't see anything " deliberately patronising " in the post at all.

Maybe not deliberately but it did come across as patronising because staying with mammy and daddy for the foreseeable future and having a warm bed and warm food cooked by mammy is not actually "homeless"

If that's the case then every student in Ireland experiences 'homelessness' at least three or four times before they graduate.

twowheelsonly · 17-07-2016 03:28AM

mvt wrote: »

Sorry,don't believe this.
Whatever about single people if you've made the decision to have children you have roughly nine months to get from one or two bad decisions from being homeless.

Then you sir are living on a cloud...

You're never more than a day away from Jail, Death or Homelessness even if you think you're not.

Another factor that has barely been mentioned here is depression. It's all too easy for people fighting with the 'Big Black Dog' to end up wandering the streets and turning to alcohol and drugs to ease the pain. It's also frightening to see how fast the downward spiral can happen.

JustTheOne · 17-07-2016 05:54AM

tomofson wrote: »

Nope I've got none of those things and I don't know what I am going to do this coming monday... I don't even know where to go who to talk to, nothing
I don't know what I am going to do or where I am going to sleep...
I cant help but to think you said all that to be deliberately patronizing but if so dont bother nothing you say will hurt me I have already been through it all and still standing and i'll get through this...

Seriously?

You're going to be homeless on Monday and you can't figure out you're next move even though you have access to the Internet and time to go on boards?

Would you not be better maybe Googling services to help you out and try sort your situation instead of coming onto boards saying you don't know what to do.

Sariah · 17-07-2016 10:52AM

I pass by a number of homeless people each day on my way to work. I often stop for a chat with them. I was studying recently and I met a lovely guy who sits at drury street car park. Most evening's in the run up to my exam I would talk to him for a few minutes before collecting my car. On the last evening before my exam he handed me a punnet of grapes as a little good luck gift. He was a lovely sincere guy.

Shint0 · 17-07-2016 01:11PM

tomofson wrote: »

Nope I've got none of those things and I don't know what I am going to do this coming monday... I don't even know where to go who to talk to, nothing
I don't know what I am going to do or where I am going to sleep...

https://www.mqi.ie/open-access-homeless-and-drug-services

Do you know anyone who's homeless?

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