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Getting Tired Of Having No Input

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  • 04-04-2016 10:27pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi Guys,
    So basically I'm sick and tired of having no input or say on the farm. I'm 20 now and I'm still doing the same silly jobs that I was doing when I was 11 or 12 on the farm. The farm is of my father and uncle. I'm never told anything until it's already happened and it's nearly embarrassing not knowing what's happening (the neighbours would nearly hear before me). Anytime I give out I'm told that the farm will be mine someday as my brother and sister never had any interest in it (that could be 20 yrs time or next year!) It really pisses me off that one person seems to be in charge the whole time and it's always his way. I spend the weekends working there even though I was never forced to and it's taken for granted that I'm always there to help. I prefer working on other farms as I nearly have more responsibility on them and I learn more. Maybe it's been the same with others on here or maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself? Any help or advice would be apreciated.


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    #2
    ganmo
    Registered Users Posts: 7,748 ✭✭✭ganmo


    been that soldier, Rightly or wrongly I stopped helping finding other ways to spend my weekends and now we're working together

    make a habit of asking them what's planned for the weekend on thursday/friday evening, if they don't tell you make plans to do something away from the farm so you won't be there to be called on


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    #3
    Timmaay
    Registered Users Posts: 11,394 ✭✭✭✭Timmaay


    If your not happy walk away, the farm will still be there tomorrow and the next day, however you won't always be a youthful energetic 20year old and if you let things stay as they are with you head in a bad place like it is now then you'll only grow up to hate the place.


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    #4
    Zoo4m8
    Registered Users Posts: 1,003 ✭✭✭Zoo4m8


    Your not getting ahead of yourself...I had the same thing here, probably a bit more difficult for you with two men to deal with and I can definitely relate preferring to work on other farms , I can remember a big tillage farm I helped on and being handed a big JD and grain trailer and being told to get on with it, I felt about ten feet tall..:D
    Things changed here when I got married, the old man (gone now) handed over part of the place and as he got on really well with my wife he handed over the book work to her and we gradually took over from there.
    With most reasonable men it's about earning trust and respect, as has been suggested above ask what's going on and why, sometimes you might spot a better way of doing something and again, as has been suggested , I wouldn't be making a tool of myself, don't be there every weekend...get a life outside the place ,you'll need it in years to come ;)
    You are not unique, reading your post brings it all back all those years ago..there are many lads like yourself , it's frustrating but in most cases it works out.


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    #5
    freedominacup
    Registered Users Posts: 7,920 ✭✭✭freedominacup


    What training have you? If you haven't been away it's probably time to go. I would disagree with people telling you to bide your time. At your age I was responsible for all decisions relating to nutrition here, had an input into breeding and we shared grassland management. I had done a year in college here and another in the U.K. on an intensive dairy management course. Looking back it was probably a bit much a bit too soon. I ended up more tied to work than was healthy. That said being treated as unskilled labour is a far worse situation. If you have the skills I would be demanding the oppurtunity to use them if you don't then accquire them. Either way if the situation doesn't improve be somewhere else next winter. Either in training or working somewhere your abilities are appreciated.


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    #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Zoo4m8 wrote: »
    Your not getting ahead of yourself...I had the same thing here, probably a bit more difficult for you with two men to deal with and I can definitely relate preferring to work on other farms , I can remember a big tillage farm I helped on and being handed a big JD and grain trailer and being told to get on with it, I felt about ten feet tall..:D
    Things changed here when I got married, the old man (gone now) handed over part of the place and as he got on really well with my wife he handed over the book work to her and we gradually took over from there.
    With most reasonable men it's about earning trust and respect, as has been suggested above ask what's going on and why, sometimes you might spot a better way of doing something and again, as has been suggested , I wouldn't be making a tool of myself, don't be there every weekend...get a life outside the place ,you'll need it in years to come ;)
    You are not unique, reading your post brings it all back all those years ago..there are many lads like yourself , it's frustrating but in most cases it works out.

    Having hobbies outside of the farm is a good idea but its difficult because it has always been my main hobby. Maybe I should spend the weekend away drinking like a good few of my friends :D


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    freedominacup wrote: »
    What training have you? If you haven't been away it's probably time to go. I would disagree with people telling you to bide your time. At your age I was responsible for all decisions relating to nutrition here, had an input into breeding and we shared grassland management. I had done a year in college here and another in the U.K. on an intensive dairy management course. Looking back it was probably a bit much a bit too soon. I ended up more tied to work than was healthy. That said being treated as unskilled labour is a far worse situation. If you have the skills I would be demanding the oppurtunity to use them if you don't then accquire them. Either way if the situation doesn't improve be somewhere else next winter. Either in training or working somewhere your abilities are appreciated.

    I am in 2nd year of a third level degree. I am always told to not to be worrying about the farm and to get a good education, which is probably good advice. I have worked on other farms and enjoy it more. It's disheartening when I see friends who have more responsibility and no interest, you can see that there fathers are trying to get them interested and would love if they had any interest at all...


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    #8
    JimTreacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭JimTreacy


    anonymous95 wrote: »
    Hi Guys,
    So basically I'm sick and tired of having no input or say on the farm. I'm 20 now and I'm still doing the same silly jobs that I was doing when I was 11 or 12 on the farm. The farm is of my father and uncle. I'm never told anything until it's already happened and it's nearly embarrassing not knowing what's happening (the neighbours would nearly hear before me). Anytime I give out I'm told that the farm will be mine someday as my brother and sister never had any interest in it (that could be 20 yrs time or next year!) It really pisses me off that one person seems to be in charge the whole time and it's always his way. I spend the weekends working there even though I was never forced to and it's taken for granted that I'm always there to help. I prefer working on other farms as I nearly have more responsibility on them and I learn more. Maybe it's been the same with others on here or maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself? Any help or advice would be apreciated.
    Move on mate see the world, I was at home on a farm my father died in 1988 between a brother that would argue with you over everything and an uncle that wanted money he felt he was owed I went to Australia did well bought a farm of my own started contracting have since gave up the silage but do a lot of baling which I find staff wise money easier to manage also do a lot of contract spraying I dabble in property. I see my brother from time to time still the same a well balanced man a chip on both shoulders. Move on if you feel your been held back you are young.


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    #9
    gr8 m8
    Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭gr8 m8


    Hello,

    I've been there too. Spent my teenage years bedding cattle and standing in gaps! Never even shown how to drive a tractor!

    Go off and see the world! Milk cow's in new Zealand, wheat and corn harvest in America, cattle ranches in Australia. wwoof around Europe.

    Do it all until you don't want to any more. I did a bit and loved it! You are still only a phone call away if they need you.

    See how other people do things in other cultures! And remember that it is one thing to say that you want more responsibility but another to earn it and yet a different matter to hold onto it!

    It will come in time but if you are going to just be doing the grunt work for a few years then you might as well be doing it with blonde Swedish backpackers!

    Jaysus, to be young and free again!
    Best of luck with it all sir.


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