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Haven't touched a drop in...
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Lady is a tramp wrote: »Just wondering if many here have used Antabuse (disulfiram), if so for how long and what dosage?
I've started taking it recently, it seems I'm one of the unlucky few who gets side effects from it ... I don't really care though, my thinking is that the physical and mental side effects of alcohol are far worse, so I can easily put up with a bit of nausea and drowsiness! I'm currently planning on staying on it long-term ... forever, if necessary.
Are you doing anything else other than taking this, sorry if you've already said
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Are you doing anything else other than taking this, sorry if you've already said
Residential programs in Stanhope and St Pats, AA and Lifering, counselling, all the rest! I'm a slow learner but I finally seem to have this alcoholism thing under control. But I do think Antabuse will be necessary for me as a last defence, sort of a security blanket I guess. I don't really care if it's a crutch - if it is, it's one I need! 0 -
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Lady is a tramp wrote: »Residential programs in Stanhope and St Pats, AA and Lifering, counselling, all the rest! I'm a slow learner but I finally seem to have this alcoholism thing under control. But I do think Antabuse will be necessary for me as a last defence, sort of a security blanket I guess. I don't really care if it's a crutch - if it is, it's one I need!
Do not drink on antabuse! I cannot emphasise enough how terrible this is. It is one memory in my life I wish I could erase. I get cold sweats just thinking of it.
Don't plan on taking it long term. AA is your safety blanket. Be regular and stick with the winners.
25 year alcoholic. 3 years in recovery.0 -
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I guess I'm taking a belt-and-braces approach!
I'd love to think that AA and Lifering and my own willpower will keep me sober, but I know myself too well. Maybe down the line I'll have the confidence to go without Antabuse, but for now, I think it's necessary. The side effects are a pain in the arse, but then again they're a good reminder that it's actually doing something. There is no way I'll drink on it, no matter what, I've heard far too many horror stories! 0 -
Lady is a tramp wrote: »I guess I'm taking a belt-and-braces approach! I'd love to think that AA and Lifering and my own willpower will keep me sober, but I know myself too well. Maybe down the line I'll have the confidence to go without Antabuse, but for now, I think it's necessary. The side effects are a pain in the arse, but then again they're a good reminder that it's actually doing something. There is no way I'll drink on it, no matter what, I've heard far too many horror stories!
Whatever works for you.
I managed to get 3 cans into me before I made the foetal position. Stayed there for 3 days and nights. Just a brain of pain. Heart racing, sure I would die. Whimpering like a puppy. Pissed myself. Cried like a baby. Didn't really recover for a few weeks. Not to be messed with that antabuse.
You will get past the fear of the antabuse if you are determined to drink. You need to fear the drink itself. It is a much more serious proposition than a few days curled up in a ball crying in a pool of your own piss.
It is a lifetime of it you should be afraid of.
Use every resource available to you as it is a vile foe you are fighting. If antabuse helps then use it but have a timeframe in mind and a goal to aim for or you will forever think you will drink if you stop it. Means to an end.
Remember. You're not losing the ability to drink. You're gaining the ability to live sober.0 -
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The comradery here it's really great to see. Ive been listening to the big book of AA audio book and it has been a help and helped me notice or realize things that may not of been so clear to me about myself and my drinking. The link was posted a little earlier in the thread of any of ye want to check it out. 0
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Lady is a tramp wrote: »42 days today. Six weeks.
Well done , a long time , you are now well on the road to a sober life 0 -
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Lady is a tramp wrote: »42 days today. Six weeks.
Yes well done lady
keep up the great work your doing for yourself. 0 -
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19 days .....
Keeping myself busy ...
Still worrying about getting to work everyday if I Lose my driving licence for 2 years
Anyway I'm still sober...
Take care all..
I've 6 driving bans behind me in three countries. It is amazing how you make it work. Now driving legally and sober. Don't sweat the small stuff. You will find a way. Best of luck with it.0 -
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46 days sober today. Hardly a major or significant landmark, but watching the days stack up means a lot more to me than watching the weeks or months. So it mightn't be a round figure or a huge milestone, but it's 46 days straight of waking up with a clear conscience and a little bit more hope and confidence than was there the previous morning.
Some reflections ...
I've been told by my counsellors numerous times, "You are not your addiction." This didn't really make sense to me until I recently came across an article entitled, "My addiction speaks to me in my own voice." And that's when I realised that this has been an issue with me. I don't get a little independent voice, a devil on my shoulder as such, telling me to drink. My brain tells me to drink, in its calmest, most logical, sensible way. It justifies it and rationalises it, and it's only relatively recently that I've been able to separate my addiction into a compartment - almost a personality of it's own - within me. And when I get those old desires, I can recognise them - that it is not me thinking those thoughts, it is my addiction trying to control me again. I find this viewpoint helps me.
On a related note, yes, my addiction has all of my bad traits ... but I also need to recognise that it has all of my positive attributes, in spades. I would consider myself to be an intelligent resilient resourceful person. My addiction is all of those things, too. It will always adapt in an attempt to survive and thrive, and if ever I become complacent, that's when I'll relapse.
Something new I've learned about recovery. To me, recovery represented my addiction becoming less powerful. That is never going to happen. I am the one who has had to change; I have discovered more strength and knowledge and humility and moral fibre and self-discipline and courage than I ever thought was within me. I don't know where it's come from - I'm yet to accept existence of a higher power - but I'm lucky and grateful to have it. Being in recovery does not mean no longer experiencing cravings - or "compulsions", as I described them. It means I now have enough control and perspective and power to view these compulsions as mere "notions", that I can experience in a mindful manner and hold and turn around in my head, without acting on them or being upset by them.
I know all about "dry drunk" syndrome. A few weeks ago, this was about the pinnacle I hoped I might ever achieve. That I might SOMEHOW eventually achieve some sort of relatively stable sobriety, despite my history and against all odds. But that it would be a life of misery, with the sceptre of relapse forever looming over me and threatening to overcome me once again. Now, this isn't how I feel. I finally believe a sober happy life is within my grasp, and what's more, I'm finally beginning to feel I deserve it. The internal turmoil is beginning to ease. I'm a good person with a horrible tenacious addiction. But there is very real hope of a bright future, where I'm stronger and happier and better than ever before.
But today ... today, I'm just grateful for this beautiful 46th day. And I'm going to make it a good one. 0
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