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Multiple Engagements + Same Family = Problem?
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Greenmachine wrote: »Times when it is not okay to announce your engagement
1. At someone else's wedding or within a month or so.
2. At someone else's engagement party
Ah I disagree. My brother proposed to his now wife a week after my wedding. Poor chap for some reason put it off the whole year we were engaged.
We were delighted to have something else to look forward to once the post wedding come down settled in
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Yes but I think what's being implied here was that it was either a public proposal or else announcing the engagement at someone else's wedding, which is just a sh!tty thing to do.
Some people like a big public proposal, it wouldn't be for me cos I'd be mortified having that many people looking at me.
I know in my own situation we'd discussed marriage and we both knew we'd set a date sooner rather than later, but my husband still got down on one knee and asked.
I agree with this. I think very few proposals are truly out of the blue despite what so many brides to be claim. I think most couples talk about it, at least broadly before it happens. Obviously the engagement is lovely and makes it all official, but I know myself and my boyf talk about it regularly, and its in our collective plans. We're just not in a rush presently and all our annual leave is being spent on attending the weddings of others this year so now is not the time. We've both said that we don't want a long engagement, so once it actually happens, it will be all systems go!
The girl who made the comment that upset my friend in my OP recently got engaged herself. She swore she was totally shocked. After being together 10+ years, and him planning a trip away for her birthday when she'd normally be the one planning their travel..... yes, Shocked indeed!0 -
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Well there were a few other factors which made the surprise element a bit hard to believe, but a bit too identifiable, so I won't go into it.
Regardless, it doesnt matter once both parties are happy. Some people (not all!) choose to rewrite the history when it comes to their engagements, but sure good for them if it makes them happy
I can totally accept that the proposal itself can be a surprise, but I think really the engagement often isnt, ie, you've both softly checked in that you're on the same page but the details etc of actually popping the question might be a surprise on the day.
Getting married is one of the biggest decisions a person can make in their lives, with huge legal implications. I think its a bit incredible to expect that the man (generalizing, I know, but lets be realistic, men do most of the proposing) unilaterally decides on this, and the woman just passively agrees. I think a lot of couples make the decision to get married together, albeit sometimes in a roundabout way, and then its rubber-stamped by a proposal.0 -
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Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,989 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭
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Me and my hubby had discussed it at length, and I knew it was going to happen before the end of the year, however when he did it it was a complete surprise. Mainly because we'd had a big row the night before (not related to engagement stuff, just some stupid argument) so the next night when I came home and he'd cooked a lovely dinner, I thought it was cos he felt bad or something :pac: and he was so shifty during the dinner I assumed it was because he was nervous that we'd end up arguing again.
It was a really trivial row, and we'd made up before going to bed, so I was a bit puzzled that he seemed so affected by it. Turns out he'd tried to ring my dad to ask permission, and couldn't get through, so he was sh!tting bricks that my dad would see about 15 missed calls on his phone and then think there was something wrong and try to ring me. Then he went out to 'take the bin out' (and eventually got through to my dad) and arrived back home, still looking a bit peaky. Disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared with a big bunch of roses, and it was only then that the penny dropped and I realised there was more to the romantic dinner than I thought 0 -
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Me and my hubby had discussed it at length, and I knew it was going to happen before the end of the year, however when he did it it was a complete surprise. Mainly because we'd had a big row the night before (not related to engagement stuff, just some stupid argument) so the next night when I came home and he'd cooked a lovely dinner, I thought it was cos he felt bad or something :pac: and he was so shifty during the dinner I assumed it was because he was nervous that we'd end up arguing again.
It was a really trivial row, and we'd made up before going to bed, so I was a bit puzzled that he seemed so affected by it. Turns out he'd tried to ring my dad to ask permission, and couldn't get through, so he was sh!tting bricks that my dad would see about 15 missed calls on his phone and then think there was something wrong and try to ring me. Then he went out to 'take the bin out' (and eventually got through to my dad) and arrived back home, still looking a bit peaky. Disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared with a big bunch of roses, and it was only then that the penny dropped and I realised there was more to the romantic dinner than I thought
Lovely and all but whats it got to do with the OP? :pac:0 -
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FWIW I actually love your story Toots. I like that it was simple, at home, and just between the two of you.
My worst nightmare would be a flashmob or some similarly big, public production!
Even though you knew it was coming in the larger sense, its still emotional to hear those words I'd say 0
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