The talk

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 16-03-2016 12:26AM

mfceiling wrote: »

The joys of having daughters.

Wife "we'll need to give the talk soon"

Me "you're on your own there missus"

My father probably took the same attitude but it backfired on him because I'd rather have eaten my own eyeballs than talk to my mother about periods.
When I got my period I told my poor mortified father, who I made promise never ever ever tell my mother. It was almost a year before she found out and that's only because it got on my bedsheets one time.

MilesMorales1 · 16-03-2016 12:50AM

They didn't. And I don't know if we never had sex ed in school, or if I just missed it, but I honestly don't recall it. Everything I knew/know about it was either from the internet, or it came later.

beach_walker · 16-03-2016 12:57AM

I was about 12 or so, Mam asked me out of the blue over one dinner "so... did they teach ye about sex in school?" I said yes and she was happy, nothing more was said. They hadn't in fact brought it up in the classroom but I had watched a lot of episodes of Eurotrash. Taught me the basics.

beach_walker · 16-03-2016 12:57AM

jester77 wrote: »

Never had it, had to rely on Channel 4 while growing up. Eurotrash and The Word taught me all I ever needed to know until the internet was born.

My nigga!

osarusan · 16-03-2016 01:00AM

"If you keep flicking your willy white stuff comes out" was the beginning of my playground education.

The Backwards Man · 16-03-2016 01:02AM

I learned from the seventies films RTL and SAT1 and the like used to show on Friday and Saturday nights in the early 90s. Those were the days, when men were men and women had half a whin bush growing in their crotch.

And then there was Tutti Frutti. Anyone remember that?

Lisacatlover · 16-03-2016 01:02AM

Was more a learn by doing sort of kid.

mansize · 16-03-2016 01:07AM

No.

Girls more than likely had the talk cos of periods etc

Boys, nigh, he'll be grand

Yeah, well now I'm gay! Damn you vile woman!

Riddle101 · 16-03-2016 04:04AM

Never had the talk with my parents, although I seem to remember my mam coming to me with a book called the "Facts of Life", which I thought was a children's book since there were pictures in it, but soon realized it was more of an adult book. Keep in mind i was a kid at this time, think about 8 or 9. Anyhow my mam did sit down and attempted to talk to me, but I wasn't having any of it. It just didn't really want to talk about it. I eventually learned all about that stuff in school so there was really no need.

16-03-2016 04:49AM

I had to give the talk to my younger brother. My mother made me. I kept talking about periods in front of him, then laughing and saying "You'll never get it!" So one night he asked my mother (I suppose he was 10? I would have been 13) and she asked him why he wanted to know? He told her I'd been laughing at him. So my mother (who never told me, ffs) came into my room, grabbed a hold of me and marched me into my bro's room, saying "If you find it so funny, YOU tell him!" So I did. I sat down and explained the science and why it happens. We were pretty close when we were young and we were both smart kids. He thanked me and went to sleep. I came back out and said "It's sorted now Ma". I think she was a bit peeved that it all went so well and swimmingly when she'd never even explained it to me! My dad snuck me a can of beer (I was 13!!) because I'd taken the pressure off him. I grew up in one sort of family stuck between the lines of progression and depression!

Mackman · 16-03-2016 05:52AM

My parents wouldn't even hand me the book, they hid it among my books on the bookshelf in my room, I stumbled across it in between Brer Rabbit and Danny the Champion of the World. Quite the eye opener I must say. At the time I was undecided about this "sex" thing that I had head in the schoolyard. Then the book informed me that I had to have sex if I wanted to make a baby.

Kinda resigned myself to the fact that I would have to do it at some stage.

Niemoj · 16-03-2016 05:59AM

My Mam never gave me "the talk", we had to watch a video about it and puberty in primary school, poorly animated, we were all fairly clued in about it all that stage but I remember asking the teacher about a condoms and she said to me "condoms are the work of evil. Sex with always get you pregnant. Don't have sex if you're not prepared to have a baby".

Niemoj · 16-03-2016 06:01AM

jester77 wrote: »

Never had it, had to rely on Channel 4 while growing up. Eurotrash and The Word taught me all I ever needed to know until the internet was born.

Oh my sweet Jaysus dya remember that?

"Eurotrash: The Sexy Bits"

:pac::pac:

Niemoj · 16-03-2016 06:05AM

Mackman wrote: »

My parents wouldn't even hand me the book, they hid it among my books on the bookshelf in my room, I stumbled across it in between Brer Rabbit and Danny the Champion of the World. Quite the eye opener I must say. At the time I was undecided about this "sex" thing that I had head in the schoolyard. Then the book informed me that I had to have sex if I wanted to make a baby.

Kinda resigned myself to the fact that I would have to do it at some stage.

16-03-2016 07:23AM

"The Talk" - it all sounds so ominous and scary. Can not imagine why. My daughter is 5 and a half and has the main basics already - and I will build on that slowly over the next 10 years.

Canis Lupus · 16-03-2016 07:56AM

Shenshen · 16-03-2016 09:59AM

Canis Lupus wrote: »

<snip>

Well, that answered all my questions, thanks.

everlast75 · 16-03-2016 10:07AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I think it was standard in the 1990s to stay quiet and hope that schoolyard gossip would cover that. At least, neither I nor any of my friends were given any talks.

Yup - this was the same for me!

I'd imagine nowadays, teenagers are in a better position to advise parents regarding descriptions of certain sex acts...

foggy_lad · 16-03-2016 10:30AM

Never heard a thing from parents or the all boys school but had a very educational and enjoyable practical lesson with a lad in my class in an empty classroom near the end of 5th class and we continued educating ourselves for several months till we got caught one day! Not much said but there was talk of having to stop all that "horseplay" so we agreed but went on as beforeðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜‡

valoren · 16-03-2016 11:52AM

Sat 1, the German channel on Saturday nights.
Mickeys flopping about, hilariously poor dubbing and lady bushes so voluminous you could have hid Jimmy Hoffa in them.

That_Guy · 16-03-2016 11:59AM

School pretty much took care of this talk probably to the relief of the parents.

HalloweenJack · 16-03-2016 12:08PM

I don't remember it while my mother is adamant we had it.

Pretty sure I just blocked it out.

razorblunt · 16-03-2016 12:11PM

Dad: "Did your mother have that chat with you?"
Me: "Which one?"
Dad: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Doesn't matter, do you mean THAT chat?"
Dad: "Yeah"
Me: "She did, nothing I didn't know anyway"
Dad: "Good ... wait ... what do you mean?"
Me: "I found THAT book in your room and I read it myself".
Dad: "What do you mean you found it, what were you doing?"
Me: "Looking for Xmas presents"
Dad: "Your mother was right, you would read it if we left somewhere like that".

beach_walker · 16-03-2016 12:12PM

Sure it's easier for parents nowadays, just let the internet teach the kids.

mansize · 16-03-2016 12:17PM

beach_walker wrote: »

Sure it's easier for parents nowadays, just let the internet teach the kids.

Yeah, the child groomers help them with technique and everything...

sheep? · 16-03-2016 02:48PM

My parents are usually very straight talking people, but they fudged it up completely with my 'talk'. They were so flustered and stuttering that I walked out of the front room thinking that condoms were pills that I had to take orally.

Led to some awkward realisations down the line.

The talk

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