fo u trust your wife too much

arayess · 12-03-2016 09:40PM

my pal form school was married.
working away at trainee manager job 60/70 hours a week. told the wife he was working for their future as she was moaning that so and so only worked 40 hours a week.
anyway took a random half day off to bring her out and came home and she was being hammered by his mate.

sounds so dear deirdre that it does make you wonder how often it happens and how many people aren't caught either.

the guy himself told me this at our 10 year reunion so I know it's genuine.

I must admit for all my pointing out of his grief my own choice of partner in my 20's wasn't much better. :pac:

Nodin · 12-03-2016 09:53PM

well spoken man wrote: »

Just sitting here thinking I have it all.....beautiful wife.. great kids...good job.....but what if its not what it seems????
Somebody has to be"the guy" who never knew his wife was sleeping with the local yob.....
My question is this...do u trust your wife too much????

.......getting paranoid man. Need to maintain. Otherwise you'll freak out.

Ice Maiden · 12-03-2016 09:54PM

Good thread. Gives folks an opportunity to talk about individual incidents where the party at fault is a woman, as if these individual incidents mean it's commonplace among women, and as if it's only women who are unfaithful.

Nice work OP.

Nodin · 12-03-2016 09:57PM

arayess wrote: »

my pal form school was married.
working away at trainee manager job 60/70 hours a week. told the wife he was working for their future as she was moaning that so and so only worked 40 hours a week.
anyway took a random half day off to bring her out and came home and she was being hammered by his mate.

sounds so dear deirdre that it does make you wonder how often it happens and how many people aren't caught either.

the guy himself told me this at our 10 year reunion so I know it's genuine.

I must admit for all my pointing out of his grief my own choice of partner in my 20's wasn't much better. :pac:

Yer man Paddy O'Gorman said in an interview he had a fling with his mates wife and his mate walked in on them, if I recall correctly. Didn't end well, as they say.

arayess · 12-03-2016 10:02PM

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Good thread. Gives folks an opportunity to talk about individual incidents where the party at fault is a woman, as if these individual incidents mean it's commonplace among women, and as if it's only women who are unfaithful.

Nice work OP.

ah jaysus...
ruin the thread why don't you mrs. killjoy

Keane2baMused · 12-03-2016 10:14PM

bear1 wrote: »

Wait, if she is the one who caused the marriage to fail and it has been proven she was unfaithful then why is he paying for everything? Genuinely curious

Because this country has 'no fault' divorces. It doesn't matter in the eyes of the law if she slept with half the country behind his back.

Ice Maiden · 12-03-2016 10:22PM

arayess wrote: »

sounds so dear deirdre that it does make you wonder how often it happens and how many people aren't caught either.

No it doesn't... unless you have an agenda/want to try and make out something is really commonplace. Btw, surely "it sounds so Dear Deirdre" means it sounds unlikely?

If individual incidents are what constitute such foolhardy evidence on this thread, my friend was going out with a guy for six months when she discovered he had a girlfriend of four years. Am I doing this right?

Only someone with a hostile attitude towards women would decide it's just women who cheat and that women are more likely to cheat. People cheat, male and female. Neither of the entire genders deserve recrimination

Stigura · 12-03-2016 10:55PM

Ice Maiden wrote: »

People cheat, male and female.

That's a given. Personally? I never did.

Tony. Bloke I worked with. Lovely little bloke. About fifty. Management level. Had his own house. Good job. Guess he felt he was missing something. I suspect he hit the lonely hearts .....

Found a woman. She had a teenage girl. They moved in. It was only a matter of a few months before Tony came home from work one day, to find her ex husband sitting in his living room.

Last I heard, Tony was in a bed sit. Sharing a jax with several other tenants.

Another mate of mine ~ we'll call him 'Bob'. Career Navy man. Took it very seriously. Did very well. Trained hard and developed quite the skill set. Promotion followed promotion. Life was looking good.

While he was away, earning the sort of wedge that bought them an english barn conversion in a desirable post code; She was at home, keeping the place clean.

Until the day he came home to be told; " I've been seeing someone else. It's over. I'd like you leave. "

He's living in a bed sit now. It destroyed him and he lost his job.

Make of that what ye will.

Would I trust a woman? What do ye think I am?!

12-03-2016 10:57PM

Stigura wrote: »

Would I trust a woman? What do ye think I am?!

Someone with a general distrust of all women.

Ice Maiden · 12-03-2016 10:59PM

Stigura wrote: »

That's a given. Personally? I never did.

Neither did I. I'm sure most people don't. What is your point?

Tony. Bloke I worked with. Lovely little bloke. About fifty. Management level. Had his own house. Good job. Guess he felt he was missing something. I suspect he hit the lonely hearts .....

Found a woman. She had a teenage girl. They moved in. It was only a matter of a few months before Tony came home from work one day, to find her ex husband sitting in his living room.

Last I heard, Tony was in a bed sit. Sharing a jax with several other tenants.

Another mate of mine ~ we'll call him 'Bob'. Career Navy man. Took it very seriously. Did very well. Trained hard and developed quite the skill set. Promotion followed promotion. Life was looking good.

While he was away, earning the sort of wedge that bought them an english barn conversion in a desirable post code; She was at home, keeping the place clean.

Until the day he came home to be told; " I've been seeing someone else. It's over. I'd like you leave. "

He's living in a bed sit now. It destroyed him and he lost his job.

Make of that what ye will.

Two disgusting people out of millions.

Would I trust a woman? What do ye think I am?!

Well nobody asked you whether you would trust "a" woman, but seeing as you ask: an idiot if you mistrust all women.

So once again, isolated incident(s) = no woman can be trusted.

Therefore isolated incidents involving men cheating/treating women like sh-t = no man can be trusted... I presume is what you folks think.

arayess · 12-03-2016 10:59PM

Ice Maiden wrote: »

No it doesn't... unless you have an agenda/want to try and make out something is really commonplace. Btw, surely "it sounds so Dear Deirdre" means it sounds unlikely?

If individual incidents are what constitute such foolhardy evidence on this thread, my friend was going out with a guy for six months when she discovered he had a girlfriend of four years. Am I doing this right?

Only someone with a hostile attitude towards women would decide it's just women who cheat and that women are more likely to cheat. People cheat, male and female. Neither of the entire genders deserve recrimination

no you're not doing it right.
you are clearly getting angry and infecting the discussion with that anger.
you have an agenda...that's fine but the OPs general musing and the subsequent tittle tattle mighn't be the best forum for your rantings and ravings.

The fact you can't see that some individual stories doesn't mean we are expressing our views of all women or even a majority is fairly pathetic.
I can talk about women or men cheating and not feel the need to achieve balance or whataboutery( a word I can safely say boards.ie taught me)

but share your man cheating stories I'll read them too.

"it does sound so dear deirdre" was a point that his story sounded like it was straight out of the page in all it;'s stereotype but yet here this lad was pouring his heart out of me.

Stigura · 12-03-2016 11:00PM

Don't get me wrong, Candie. I'm fine with women. I have a great friend who's a woman. We smash the crosswords together once a week and she's great craic.

But, I'm born again single. I own my own place. I'm perfectly content.

I also recognise the huge potential risk of placing all I now have on the blind trust of another person.

Nope!

Stigura · 12-03-2016 11:04PM

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Two disgusting people out of millions.

I don't Know millions of people, Ice. I base my personal views on personal observations.

See? I'm in no way generalising.

Ice Maiden · 12-03-2016 11:05PM

Stigura wrote: »

I don't Know millions of people, Ice. I base my personal views on personal observations.

See? I'm in no way generalising.

How come others don't have those personal observations? Confirmation bias, wanting to see certain patterns.

andekwarhola · 12-03-2016 11:08PM

You always have to trust unless proven otherwise you'd be a paranoid loon. Nobody wants a life where you're constantly expecting to be fcuked over at every juncture even if that means you get hurt once or twice.

Ice Maiden · 12-03-2016 11:09PM

arayess wrote: »

you are clearly getting angry and infecting the discussion with that anger.

Don't exaggerate just because you're uncomfortable with the bias of this discussion being pointed out.

you have an agenda

People posting these isolated incidents in an attempt to make women out to be awful are the ones with an agenda.

the OPs general musing

The OP's general musing is "Do I/you trust your wife too much?" not "Do you trust your partner too much?" - clearly to be provocative and clearly to put blame on the female partner/spouse only, in order to make women out to be the worse gender.

12-03-2016 11:09PM

arayess wrote: »

no you're not doing it right.
you are clearly getting angry and infecting the discussion with that anger.
you have an agenda...that's fine but the OPs general musing and the subsequent tittle tattle mighn't be the best forum for your rantings and ravings.

The fact you can't see that some individual stories doesn't mean we are expressing our views of all women or even a majority is fairly pathetic.
I can talk about women or men cheating and not feel the need to achieve balance or whataboutery( a word I can safely say boards.ie taught me)

but share your man cheating stories I'll read them too.

"it does sound so dear deirdre" was a point that his story sounded like it was straight out of the page in all it;'s stereotype but yet here this lad was pouring his heart out of me.

What on earth are you talking about?

12-03-2016 11:11PM

Stigura wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, Candie. I'm fine with women. I have a great friend who's a woman. We smash the crosswords together once a week and she's great craic.

But, I'm born again single. I own my own place. I'm perfectly content.

I also recognise the huge potential risk of placing all I now have on the blind trust of another person.

Nope!

You didn't say you wouldn't trust another person, you said you wouldn't trust a woman.

I don't think that sounds fine with women at all. If you can't trust anyone, it's going to be a lonely life for you, but that's your decision.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 12-03-2016 11:11PM

For my wedding day my father wanted to buy me a gift, and asked what I wanted. I told him I'd like an expensive watch. He told me I was making a big mistake.

"Why do you say that dad, what do you think I should get instead?"

He replied that I should get a gun.

"Why would I need a gun dad, we live in the town, and our house is alarmed, also the dog will always bark if there's strangers about."

"Son" he replied "some day, you're gonna return home early from work, and you're gonna find your wife in bed with another man."

I was speechless, as he continued..

"What do you think you're gonna do then, son? Point at your watch and tell them 'Time's up'?"

Stigura · 12-03-2016 11:12PM

Ice Maiden wrote: »

How come others don't have those personal observations?

I don't know. I can't speak for others. Trying to do so would be silly and wildly off the mark.

Oh. But, wait; Are you suggesting ye can speak for everyone else

Fair play then. Only, if ye'll excuse me; I'll still prefer to go along with my own, hands on observations ~ taking my personal opinions from those

12-03-2016 11:14PM

Stigura wrote: »

I don't know. I can't speak for others. Trying to do so would be silly and wildly off the mark.

Oh. But, wait; Are you suggesting ye can speak for everyone else Fair play then. Only, if ye'll excuse me; I'll still prefer to go along with my own, hands on observations ~ taking my personal opinions from those

You know that's not what she was saying at all.

Ice Maiden · 12-03-2016 11:15PM

Stigura wrote: »

I don't know. I can't speak for others. Trying to do so would be silly and wildly off the mark.

Oh. But, wait; Are you suggesting ye can speak for everyone else Fair play then. Only, if ye'll excuse me; I'll still prefer to go along with my own, hands on observations ~ taking my personal opinions from those

Most men don't mistrust women. Deeming all women untrustworthy is misogyny/deeming all men untrustworthy is misandry.

Stigura · 12-03-2016 11:17PM

Candie wrote: »

You didn't say you wouldn't trust another person, you said you wouldn't trust a woman.

I don't think that sounds fine with women at all. If you can't trust anyone, it's going to be a lonely life for you, but that's your decision.

Again you get a thumbs up from me. Because, behind ye rhetoric, you're actually pretty much repeating ~ if rephrasing ~ my own sentiments

Sorry. I didn't see the need to differentiate between genders. I'm never likely to marry a bloke, see?

And, while I'm far, far from lonely ~ I have you lovely people!

~ my way of life, now, is indeed my decision. Exactly! I'll never come home to the " I want you to leave. " sketch.

Thankyou for your understanding

Stigura · 12-03-2016 11:18PM

Candie wrote: »

You know that's not what she was saying at all.

No I don't. Are you a mind reader now?

Please let's not drift off into a realm of fantasy.

12-03-2016 11:20PM

Stigura wrote: »

No I don't. Are you a mind reader now?

Please let's not drift off into a realm of fantasy.

You were putting words in her mouth, Stigura. Unfairly.

Stigura · 12-03-2016 11:20PM

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Most men don't mistrust women. Deeming all women untrustworthy is misogyny/deeming all men untrustworthy is misandry.

:rolleyes: Look; Should I go all " After Hours " on you. Start curtly demanding you references and sources ....?

Stigura · 12-03-2016 11:22PM

Candie wrote: »

You were putting words in her mouth, Stigura. Unfairly.

I put nothing in her mouth. That's patently clear in the above posts.

It's a thread. On a forum. OP asked opinions. I slung mine in. Now, I feel like a latter day Errol Flynn, fencing for my life against two women determined to stick it to me.

Why?

Ice Maiden · 12-03-2016 11:27PM

Stigura wrote: »

I put nothing in her mouth. That's patently clear in the above posts.

It's a thread. On a forum. OP asked opinions. I slung mine in. Now, I feel like a latter day Errol Flynn, fencing for my life against two women determined to stick it to me.

Why?

I think mistrust of an entire gender because of the behaviour of two of them is extremely stupid and objectionable. The ONLY reason you mistrust all women is because of them sharing their gender with the two women you wrote about. That is literally the only reason: also being women - do you not see how illogical it is? Do you not trust your female relatives so? Are you that incapable of seeing how diverse we all are?

It's so silly.

The internet is full of this anti-woman sh-t and sue me if I'm sick of it.

By the way, I know there are other areas that are really anti-men, like advertising, and don't blame men for feeling the same annoyance.

arayess · 12-03-2016 11:27PM

Ice Maiden wrote: »

Don't exaggerate just because you're uncomfortable with the bias of this discussion being pointed out.

People posting these isolated incidents in an attempt to make women out to be awful are the ones with an agenda.

The OP's general musing is "Do I/you trust your wife too much?" not "Do you trust your partner too much?" - clearly to be provocative and clearly to put blame on the female partner/spouse only, in order to make women out to be the worse gender.

well he is married to his wife...it would be odd if he worded it otherwise to speak about the same topic.
he was giving context to his question from his point of view which is normal behaviour.
such anecdotes are that...just anecdotes... anybody who projects on them to suggest that the posters mean all or most women is mental , plain and simple.

I don't know where you picked up I was uncomfortable with anything...but so be it I can't really retort to such mad assertions.

Candie wrote: »

What on earth are you talking about?

oh give over with your deflection.

12-03-2016 11:29PM

Mad and mental for calling into question the wording of some posts?

Yes, crazy altogether.

fo u trust your wife too much

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