Is it just the Irish that remember the "dead" with affection

dollyk · 06-02-2016 06:12PM #1

Ive had a few relatives that were not very nice in real life.
But as soon as they died they were " not so bad "
So people do you remember all the bad one, the stingy ones,
the bitter ones with affection , once they have died ?

hdowney · 07-02-2016 02:28PM

ah the old 'don't speak ill of the dead' and the whole 'they are not here to defend themselves'!!!! Fupp off. If they were complete wnkrs when alive why in hell should I go round telling the world their shít didn't stank now they are dead.

Aenaes · 07-02-2016 04:19PM

"Ah he wasn't the worst"

Taboola · 07-02-2016 05:39PM

When talking about a scumbag/criminal who's died "he was a real go getter, full of spirit". No.

Overheal · 07-02-2016 06:02PM

This isn't a rant. Seems more suitable to AH.

Tornaxx · 07-02-2016 06:26PM

No, it's not just the Irish that do that.

07-02-2016 06:32PM

dollyk wrote: »

Ive had a few relatives that were not very nice in real life.
But as soon as they died they were " not so bad "
So people do you remember all the bad one, the stingy ones,
the bitter ones with affection , once they have died ?

I suppose the expectation to never speak ill of the dead is because the dead have no right of reply, can't give their side of the story and can't defend themselves.

You remember the not so bad characteristics, because there's nothing you can do about the worst ones now. It's a kind of posthumous forgiveness, except it's so you can move on and let it go, rather than because they've earned it.

It's human nature to make life as easy on ourselves as possible. I imagine it's universal.

Del2005 · 07-02-2016 06:38PM

Candie wrote: »

I suppose the expectation to never speak ill of the dead is because the dead have no right of reply, can't give their side of the story and can't defend themselves.

But you can bitch about them behind their back while they are alive and not around to defend themselves.

It's not just the Irish who don't say bad about the dead, have a look at Russia and Uncle Joe

RayM · 07-02-2016 06:39PM

Instead of speaking ill of the dead, we use euphemisms...

"He didn't suffer fools gladly" = He was a cantankerous old bollocks.

"He was always the life and soul of the party" = He was grand in very small doses, as long as you hid the whiskey.

Say Your Number · 07-02-2016 06:48PM

To quote the now deceased Lemmy

"F*ck this 'Don't speak ill of the dead' sh1t, people don't become better when they are dead, you just talk about them as if they are, but it's not true, people are still assholes, they are just dead assholes”

mailforkev · 07-02-2016 06:54PM

It's kinda like how you can't say that a kid is a dickhead, even if they clearly are.

Even though it completely stands to reason that if there are bad adults there are bad kids.

strelok · 07-02-2016 06:54PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXHleozgQ18

it is not just the irish

The_Valeyard · 07-02-2016 07:01PM

Suppose we all want nice things said about us when we die. So its a tradition we keep going.

Sheep Lover · 07-02-2016 07:02PM

The best thing someone unlikeable can do is die, everyone's great when they're dead.

The_Valeyard · 07-02-2016 07:09PM

Sheep Lover wrote: »

The best thing someone unlikeable can do is die, everyone's great when they're dead.

True.

Look at Hitler. He wasn't all that bad, sure didn't he kill Hitler!

Bongalongherb · 07-02-2016 07:18PM

If a person was a bastard to you all their life then they are still a bastard when dead. No respect from me at all alive or dead. If a person is a nice person to you and dies then I would have a lot of affection and respect for their passing on.

I hate bastards though.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 07-02-2016 07:19PM

dollyk wrote: »

Ive had a few relatives that were not very nice in real life.
But as soon as they died they were " not so bad "
So people do you remember all the bad one, the stingy ones,
the bitter ones with affection , once they have died ?

No, not only the Irish. I've heard people in Israel and Bahrain refer to dead people with a 'may God be good to their soul' or suchlike and then someone, as an aside commenting that the deceased was a rogue at best.

I think some people in this country need to travel more and see we're not much different to other nations.

MRnotlob606 · 07-02-2016 07:27PM

My uncle who stabbed my father in the back (Literally) died recently. Although it was a grievous act, eventually you have to forgive people, as my father did.

I don't he should be remembered for the bad things he did, but for the good things he did. Like his reconciliation with my father and his commitment to living the remainder of his life with peaceful coexistence with him.

Azalea · 07-02-2016 10:08PM

I don't think it's just an Irish thing - and I think it is an older person thing. I certainly wouldn't feel obliged to speak positively about someone deceased who was awful when alive. Although it might not be appropriate to say bad things about them either in certain contexts, so I just wouldn't say anything.

I don't think anyone has to forgive someone who has done appalling things to them either, certainly not if there is no remorse.

Anesthetize · 07-02-2016 10:18PM

The Grateful Dead are far more popular in the States than here.

Capt'n Midnight · 07-02-2016 10:38PM

You should only speak good of the dead.

"He's dead ?"

"Good"

FunLover18 · 07-02-2016 10:50PM

Is it just the Irish that remember the "dead" with affection

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