Stuff You Got Wrong As A Kid

kfallon · 04-02-2016 02:44PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

My father brought me to watch LOI matches as a very young kid and i was convinced Shamrock Rovers was Ireland for some reason

When I was younger I seemed to think that EVERY Saturday Liverpool played Everton (brother was a Liverpool fan, cousins were Everton)

PIORUN · 04-02-2016 02:46PM

thattequilagirl wrote: »

My parents are from Galway but I spent my childhood in Celbridge. Every day they would have this conversation about what they'd get for Tamara's dinner. I was killed wondering who was Tamara they were always buying dinner for.

for years when i was young I though Galway was the place on the Clare hills with the 2 Golf Balls!

PIORUN · 04-02-2016 02:46PM

thattequilagirl wrote: »

My parents are from Galway but I spent my childhood in Celbridge. Every day they would have this conversation about what they'd get for Tamara's dinner. I was killed wondering who was Tamara they were always buying dinner for.

for years when i was young I thought Galway was the place on the Clare hills with the 2 Golf Balls!

Coat22 · 04-02-2016 02:47PM

I used to think "Einbahnstrasse" was a place (I was 18 at the time!!!) and couldn't figure out for ages where the hell it was as the arrows on parallel streets would point you in different directions.

Then one day it dawned on me - One Way Street - thankfully I hadn't been driving in the weeks prior to this.

"Ausfahrt" was another - I thought it was a sign telling you to let one rip:):):)

sbsquarepants · 04-02-2016 02:48PM

Not me, but my own child.

When the Chilean miners were trapped under ground a few years back (he was maybe 8 at the time) it was all over the news for weeks and one day we're talking about it at home and he's asking questions about how will they be rescued and what happened and so on. It's all very mature and informed.....until he says "how come none of their parents were there with them!" Only then I copped he'd no idea what a miner was - he thought the were minors, as in kids!:D

PIORUN · 04-02-2016 02:50PM

my wife asked me was the movie The Martian based on a true story, last week!!!

Hammer89 · 04-02-2016 02:53PM

Candie wrote: »

On a family holiday in France, my Dad and I were out alone together for lunch and stopped at one of those pavement cafes where Dad ordered a kind of chicken affair with ratatouille as a side dish.

After I'd eaten all the ratatouille, my darling Daddy told me it was called that because it was made out of rats. I remember sitting there looking at him in horror. With no warning at all, I puked all over the table, which is a pretty sensible thing to do if you have eaten a side order of rat. Dad didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but he got what he deserved anyway.

When I was about ten, Dad told me that Stillorgan was called that because they found a pit with hundreds of amputated willies in it, called the Pit of Still Organs. I totally believed him. I even told my teacher about this interesting bit of history. I can still picture her face.

Another time, he told me that you could make a person walk funny if you gave them a big enough surprise, and that this was the origin of the London phrase 'knocked bandy'. I nearly gave my Granny heart attack after heart attack, trying to knock her bandy.

Your father sounds like a legend.

brianomc · 04-02-2016 02:57PM

Candie wrote: »

Don't get me started on 'Gorilla' Warfare. Dexterous, politicised, apes with machine guns, of course.

This, along with trading "arms" for hostages. Well it made sense to me at the time with footage of people losing limbs from landmines on tv. I never questioned if they needed legs too or where the arms came from either

Badly Drunk Boy · 04-02-2016 03:00PM

When I was about 4, I used to think that England was in Dublin.

Apart from my grand appearance to the world in Holles Street hospital, I probably hadn't visited either. I never said it to anyone so I didn't embarrass myself, until now.

(And I could probably make some comment about West Brits but I won't.

)

emeldc · 04-02-2016 03:02PM

......

One eyed Jack · 04-02-2016 03:02PM

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

You don't need to be a kid...Arranged to meet a friend in Ney York only to find her pacing over and back on the pavement.
When I asked her about it she pointed to the No Standing sign (meant for motorists)..

I had to look that up myself, it sounded very confusing -

http://www.ehow.com/info_8275456_do-standing-signs-mean.html

Graces7 · 04-02-2016 03:03PM

RobertKK wrote: »

I am sure other highly intelligence children had similar problems as this...

This is about other children not being up to my intelligence level.

When I was in 6th class in Primary school back in the last 1980s, we were doing geography and we came to talk about Sri Lanka. I put my hand up and said there was guerilla warfare going on in that country. Everyone laughed at me thinking I had said there were gorilla warfare there.
So in their eyes I was wrong, and I was wrong for thinking they would know what I was talking about.
What was worse was the teacher didn't understand either, or at the very least didn't want to explain if he did know...making me look stupid.

I once deliberately spelt " school" wrong for drama reasons when we were playing at being teachers.. skool.... One of the mothers saw it and giggled and I was humiliated...

AndyBoBandy · 04-02-2016 03:04PM

When I was young, I used to believe that the world was in black and white (from old movies/TV), and then suddenly the world just became colour one day!

valoren · 04-02-2016 03:06PM

I used to think that condoms were a preventative measure for pissing in the bed.
You just put one on your willy and if you peed yourself then it would fill up like a water balloon.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 04-02-2016 03:06PM

As a child I thought birds lived in nests. At about 11 I was quite taken aback when I realised they used nests only for breeding and spent their nights in trees, bushes etc.

Teachers have a lot to answer for really.

Graces7 · 04-02-2016 03:06PM

Candie wrote: »

On a family holiday in France, my Dad and I were out alone together for lunch and stopped at one of those pavement cafes where Dad ordered a kind of chicken affair with ratatouille as a side dish.

After I'd eaten all the ratatouille, my darling Daddy told me it was called that because it was made out of rats. I remember sitting there looking at him in horror. With no warning at all, I puked all over the table, which is a pretty sensible thing to do if you have eaten a side order of rat. Dad didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but he got what he deserved anyway.

When I was about ten, Dad told me that Stillorgan was called that because they found a pit with hundreds of amputated willies in it, called the Pit of Still Organs. I totally believed him. I even told my teacher about this interesting bit of history. I can still picture her face.

Another time, he told me that you could make a person walk funny if you gave them a big enough surprise, and that this was the origin of the London phrase 'knocked bandy'. I nearly gave my Granny heart attack after heart attack, trying to knock her bandy.

Helpless laughing here! Thank you! and yes he deserved the rats coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

storker · 04-02-2016 03:09PM

I had the Northern Ireland problem figured out by the time I was 10. If the IRA were so keen on being soldiers, I reasoned, then just let them all join the Irish Army and they could do it to their hearts' content. Seemples!

I remember one day in primary school when our teacher was out and the headmaster, a Christian Brother, was supervising. He was rambling on about some subject I can't even remember, but what stuck in my mind was "...and then the man and woman get married and go off and commit mortal sin together." I couldn't figure out what he meant, but I had a mental image of a newly-married couple donning balaclavas and carrying shotguns into a bank. I found it confusing because, if it was so commonplace then why hadn't I heard about it before? I never asked anyone about it though. I think kids sometimes have an instinct about what to ask adults about, and what to leave alone.

04-02-2016 03:17PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

Your father sounds like a legend.

And he'd be the first to agree with you.

He is good fun alright!

fleet_admiral · 04-02-2016 03:24PM

I used to think every football team had a player called the equaliser

Son Of A Vidic · 04-02-2016 03:25PM

I once had a fight with a good childhood friend over him saying the Earth was round. I insisted it was shaped like a box, slaps were then exchanged and regrettably I won.

cowboyBuilder · 04-02-2016 03:27PM

When I was about 8 I saw these http://www.staples-3p.com/s7/is/image/Staples/s0395727_sc7?$splssku$

in my cousins house - and thought they were condoms

PIORUN · 04-02-2016 03:31PM

Zaylee Fluffy Sap wrote: »

As a child I thought birds lived in nests. At about 11 I was quite taken aback when I realised they used nests only for breeding and spent their nights in trees, bushes etc.

Teachers have a lot to answer for really.

huh, they don't???? mind blown!

Stealthfins · 04-02-2016 03:34PM

Bronski Beat

Small town boy.

I remember watching the video as a kid.
I thought it was about a guy who thought he made a new friend,but the friend decided to turn on him,he was feeling so rejected he decided to run away from home.

It wasn't until I seen the video on YouTube year's later.
I came to the realization there was more to it than the innocence of my childhood mind.

Always liked his music,I still do.

Hammer89 · 04-02-2016 03:35PM

cowboyBuilder wrote: »

When I was about 8 I saw these http://www.staples-3p.com/s7/is/image/Staples/s0395727_sc7?$splssku$

in my cousins house - and thought they were condoms

They're condoms for Asian men.

Graces7 · 04-02-2016 03:37PM

PIORUN wrote: »

for years when i was young I though Galway was the place on the Clare hills with the 2 Golf Balls!

Have read this several times and I still don't get it

Graces7 · 04-02-2016 03:41PM

... then there was the time ( I was 7 I think) when we were camping in Menton, France and were walking down steps to the beach with other campers...All in swimming gear. I stared at the man walking nearest me and asked why he had tennis balls in his swimming trunks...Everyone went very quiet. And no one explained...

_Whimsical_ · 04-02-2016 03:43PM

My mum had a very old,very cantankerous red mini when I was very small , 3 to around 5. We would have to get into it around 10 minutes before it would actually deign to start up. My mum would be there turning the key going "come on, come on, COME ON!!". I on the other hand would be in the back talking to the car, encouraging it saying things like "please start, just today, we love you so much,you're the best car in the world,you can have a big rest later" etc and I fully believed it was my gentle coaxing that would persuade it to start in the end.
When it would start I would be like "see, you just had to be nice to it mam!".

Hammer89 · 04-02-2016 03:45PM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

My mum had a very old,very cantankerous red mini when I was very small , 3 to around 5. We would have to get into it around 10 minutes before it would actually deign to start up. My mum would be there turning the key going "come on, come on, COME ON!!". I on the other hand would be in the back talking to the car, encouraging it saying things like "please start, just today, we love you so much,you're the best car in the world,you can have a big rest later" etc and I fully believed it was my gentle coaxing that would persuade it to start in the end.
When it would start I would be like "see, you just had to be nice to it mam!".

I love this so much. Children are beautifully innocent.

Lahinchians · 04-02-2016 03:45PM

Loving this thread!

One of the many: when I was very young, I was convinced that before the invention of colour tv the whole world lived in monochrome. Had many lengthy discussions with my mother about her life before the colour invasion! She always played along.

I had also managed to convince myself that dirty sex was just sex with your clothes on.

8 Bit Girl · 04-02-2016 03:47PM

When I was small I used to think that everyone in ads on the telly were only in the ad because they got a knock on their door and were asked if they wanted to do it. Like I thought any families in ads were actually related to eachother and it was their real house with limescale/needed air freshener...whatever the ad was about.

After a while I got fed up that nobody was knocking on our door asking if we wanted to be in their ad and said this, when one of my older brothers called me an egit and said thats not how they do it!

Stuff You Got Wrong As A Kid

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