Driving behind a Funeral etiquette

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

With respect, you're being completely naive to everything except the culture in a wgich you were raised. Is it not obvious to you that there shouldn't be a funeral procession to the graveyard burial because there should have been a sky burial as in Tebet? Or a cremation as in Japan? Have you not lived with your fellow man?

It's an arbitrary, culturally bound, social convention. No amount of living with your fellow man would teach you that. You have to he told.

obviously i'm talking about Ireland, i thought we all were, therefore as an adult i have learned by now how to behave in social situations.

if i moved to Tibet i would of course ask what the convention was.

in reply to Seamus above i would not consider it a matter of tradition as such.
the manner of the funerals themselves is a matter of tradition i suppose,but to show due respect to people grieving a loss is simply good manners and normal human empathy.
now walking down the street i might pass someone who is grieving but i don't know it i might see them in a cafe and i behave completely normally because i don't know.

but when i know then i change my behavior and i know when i see a funeral cortege, so i wait i allow that little inconvenience into my life because someone else some other person has it a lot harder then me right at that moment so even though i don't know them i put them before myself for 2,3 5 or even the 10 minutes it might take.

that anyone needs this explained to them is mind boggling

seamus wrote: »

Why?

What's the problem if you go past it quietly? Why would a mourning family give a single **** as to whether someone was overtaking a procession?

You forget that in Ireland overtaking someone is challenging their masculinity and cause for offence in itself. :rolleyes:

c_man wrote: »

Worked in a pub near a church once, we always had to close the curtains when a funeral procession was leaving. I dunno how widespread a thing that is but if you forgot to do so, boy did you hear about it :eek:

I worked in Dunnes stores for years, anytime a funeral would pass the "front lights" were turned off until it had passed..

Personally I wouldn't overtake a funeral on a country road, on a motorway depending on the funeral speed I may overtake but not make a fuss about it, move as far right as I can and not make a big deal about it,
In a village or town a funeral progression isn't going to impact you massively (unless your living out towards the graveyard)

On a country road the logistics or trying to overtake a line of closely packed cars shouldn't be enough to deter anyone, you should be overtaking unless you have a gap where you can pull in.
Most country funerals I've been to (if it'll be travelling outside the village/town) will not have mourners walking behind the herse once it get's outside the town, usually they will walk a certain distance from the church and then get into cars.

On national roads I've never noticed any speed difference between a funeral and that of a "slow" driver, usually 70-90 KMH

I'm from the country..

farmchoice wrote:

obviously i'm talking about Ireland, i thought we all were, therefore as an adult i have learned by now how to behave in social situations. if i moved to Tibet i would of course ask what the convention was.

If you moved to Tebet you would need to ask and be told about how to show respect but in Ireland you should just know how. Do you think respect showing is innate knowledge which you're just born with in Ireland?

farmchoice wrote:

in reply to Seamus above i would not consider it a matter of tradition as such. the manner of the funerals themselves is a matter of tradition i suppose,but to show due respect to people grieving a loss is simply good manners and normal human empathy.

You seem to deny and acknowledge that funeral rituals are traditions. You don't know what you think because yu haven't thought about it before

farmchoice wrote:

that anyone needs this explained to them is mind boggling

You definately haven't explained it here. According to yourself, funeral behaviour is both tradition and not tradition and you should ask about foreign rituals but domestic arbitrary rituals are normal human empathy. You seem confused.

farmchoice wrote: »

that anyone needs this explained to them is mind boggling

Yeah, that's all grand. But you haven't explained why slowly overtaking a funeral procession without much fuss is such a problem.

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Because it's rude and disrespectful.

farmchoice wrote: »

yes i did i explained it above, to recap, its disrespectful, wait a minute or 5, have some manners.

So overtaking is rude and disrespectful.

Is this always the case, or just when it's a funeral?

If the latter, why?

I may sound like I'm being obtuse, but I'm genuinely interested to find out why people seem to take such offence to this.

farmchoice wrote: »

yes i did i explained it above, to recap, its disrespectful, wait a minute or 5, have some manners.

How long should one wait behind a funeral procession for?

Hypothetically, if you're on your way to work and waiting behind them for any longer than let's say 10 mins will result in you being late to work; is it then ok to overtake?

What if it's a job interview where being late will definitely result in you not being considered for the job?

Do the circumstances matter at all or should someone completely disregard all other factors and wait behind the procession regardless or any other factors at play?

EndaHonesty wrote: »

You're not being genuine, this is a thread about driving behind a funeral, and you're asking the question above? you're just trolling. Grow up.

Person doesn't agree with you, automatically a troll.

Overtake civilly and without making a fuss if it's safe to do so.

Maybe it's cos I'm not from the country but I've never been to a funeral where people trudged along behind the hearse tutting because someone had the gall to overtake the car.

farmchoice wrote: »

in a funeral cortege there is a grieving family escorting a loved one on there final journey. they have suffered a terrible loss and are consumed with grief. there is very little the rest of us can do to help them or ease there pain, but what we can do is sympathize with their loss, one of the ways to do this is to show as much respect to them and the funeral process as possible.

Surely if you're not being an arse about it the last thing a grieving family is going to be noticing is that you passed them? Again, I'm not from the country but if a car respectfully and non-aggressively skirting around the procession causes you more grief there's a good chance you need to cop onto yourself.

seamus wrote: »

The thread is about etiquette.

Apparently some people think it's a hanging offence to dare to overtake a funeral, even when it's perfectly safe to do so in a way which does not affect or disturb the funeral taking place.

I'm simply asking why. And nobody has yet provided any reason beyond some vagueries about respect and manners.

Disturbing a funeral by revving your engine and blaring out music as you pass is disrespectful. Cruising by quietly and with plenty of room? What's the issue?

just to be clear the reason is respect and manners, they are very good reasons for doing lots of things.

I'm honestly not sure why quietly moving past a funeral is such a big deal. Surely it depends on why you're overtaking?

If I'm going to the shops or to meet up with a friend or something along those lines then sure, I'll wait as long as it takes.
If I'm going to work and could wind up late as a result or on my way to a job interview or something genuinely important and time sensitive I might slowly and quietly move past the procession, with the radio off and giving the procession a wide and respectful berth.