Saying 'I love you' to someone other than a wife, husband, partner

blackcard · 09-01-2016 01:56AM #1

My family are very important to me but I would never say to them that I love them. I would put it on a birthday card or a Christmas card 'I love you " but never say it to their face. I would give them presents to let them know of my affection for them. I would give them a dig out if they were in trouble. When my mother got a stroke, I got such a shock, I blurted out 'I love you'. When leaving the hospital a number of weeks later, I turned around and said 'I love you' and she said the same. A few hours later, she passed away. I consider myself lucky that I had an opportunity to say 'I love you'. Yet there are other family members that I love but don't have the courage to say it. Are you different?

paulheu · 09-01-2016 02:04AM

Plenty of people feel for some reason 'I love you' equals 'I am in love with you' ..

I love my mother and my siblings, I love my best friends both male and female and have no problem telling them. I am in love with my girlfriend and between us, saying 'I love you' to her means both.

lazybones32 · 09-01-2016 02:08AM

Told my family I loved them years ago at Christmas - while sober. My brother still calls me a fagg0t for doing so.

Unless the situation warrants those words, I'd rather show them than tell those I love.

PandaPoo · 09-01-2016 02:39AM

Never heard it from anyone in my family, never said it either. I tell my son all the time, and I make sure he knows how much I mean it. I'll do the same with my daughter. I knew I was loved, and I still am, it would have been nice to hear it.

My friends tell me they love me, I find it hard to say back but they know it.

Gunslinger92 · 09-01-2016 02:41AM

I'd be the same as you, OP. in my family it's shown rather than said. One Christmas, me, my mother and older sister all got pissed drunk and mom said she'd do time for any of us. I think that's the closest she's come to outright saying it :P but she doesn't need to say it, if that makes sense

PirateShampoo · 09-01-2016 02:44AM

Tell them as often as you can, because when they are gone it's the bad things you said to them that you will remember and it will eat away at you.

I'm saying this from experience.

Figbiscuithead · 09-01-2016 02:44AM

Yeah, I do. I always slip in a "love ye" when I say goodbye to siblings and close friends. It was also the very last thing I said to my mam when she was being carried out of the house years ago after a stroke (and died 2 weeks later) and I suppose I realised then how important those few words can be for everyone involved. It's not worth the hassle being precious or self-conscious or embarrassed about shizzle like that - get over it.

danslevent · 09-01-2016 02:45AM

I say it to everyone I love dearly quite frequently.

Medusa22 · 09-01-2016 02:50AM

I tell my OH that I love her every day, and she tells me the same. I tell my parents that I love them when we say goodbye on the phone or in person, though I never say it to my sister and she never says it to me. I don't say 'I love you' to my friends, unless I'm showing gratitude for something that they did but I don't mean it seriously.

nhunter100 · 09-01-2016 02:51AM

'I love you' the most special thing you can say to anyone.They know what place they hold in your life and attach a different significance than a husband or wife.I tell my friends I love them, I hug my family and say the same.I hold my wife and tell her I love her.They all attach a different meaning to those words, but I enjoy saying them.

09-01-2016 03:00AM

Ah Love. It is both under used and over used. A wise person can see through empty actions just as easily as empty words.

There aren't many people in my life that I truly genuinely love. My Best friend and I tell each other. She's like a sister to me. I have never ever told my dad that I love him nor have heard it from him but I don't doubt his love for me for a second. I have an old friend who I rarely get to see any more for various reasons but when we do I tell him that I love him. It's a very strong almost primal love that I feel for him.

I tell my mammy that I love her and would have said it and heard it back throughout the years. This is a funny one though. She has alzheimers so saying I love her feels kind of empty because it doesn't feel like she's my mam anymore.

It's been a while though since I really heard it. I mean someone actually looking me in the eye and saying "I love you Persepoly", but there are worse things than that

Eugene Norman · 09-01-2016 03:01AM

I find it hard too even though my mam, sister and brother say it to me (not my dad but he is loving). Never with male friends.

I use it just for the gf.

kingtiger · 09-01-2016 03:22AM

well said Perseploy

btw I love you for your post

Jesus Wept · 09-01-2016 03:25AM

i love all ye cunce

MadDog76 · 09-01-2016 04:09AM

I say "I love you" to my mam a lot, my dad quite often, my nieces/nephews regularly and to my kids several times a day.

I've said it to male friends when drunk too which I don't regret as it's true.

In short, I've never said "I love you" to anybody I don't love and I've said it to everybody I do love!

Hammer89 · 09-01-2016 04:17AM

Before going to bed, my mum would always say "goodnight baby love you" from outside my room, and I'd tell her that I loved her too. I was distraught when she died, and I still am, but the fact we regularly told one another that we loved each other makes it a little easier.

PLL · 09-01-2016 04:27AM

My fiancé and daughter every day. It's habit.
My dad every time we speak on the phone.
My best friend intermittently when drunk or having a deep convo/comforting one another.
My cousin who is like a brother when we're drunk and having deep drunken convos which are hilarious to look back on.

I'm an affectionate person I suppose.

aaronjumper · 09-01-2016 04:36AM

All the time to friends and family. Only once so far in a relationship.
If you feel it where is the shame in saying it.

I used to catch my dad out saying it over the phone when he was on site.
He would want to say it back but not in front of his work colleagues.
So he would compromise and whisper it down the phone and hang up. :pac:

I did like to torment him.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 09-01-2016 09:15AM

Anyone I've ever said "I love you" to, I've meant it. It's not a phrase I'd go throwing around, would take that fairly serious now.

I've had people say it to me, but treat me really bad and it was just empty words, it meant nothing.
I've had someone not say it to me, but treated me like I was the most loved person ever.

It's hard to know, actions speak much louder than words. Words are empty.

mickstupp · 09-01-2016 10:52AM

I say it to my mother, used to say it to my grandparents, oddly enough never to the rest of my family. That's only occurred to me reading this thread. Say to some of my friends fairly often.

Menas · 09-01-2016 10:56AM

When sober- just my wife and son.
When no sober- everyone!

Mesrine65 · 09-01-2016 11:04AM

I tell my boys (my dogs), daddy loves them every morning when I get up & every evening when I come in from work, just because of the fuss they make when they see me

I tell the OH the same, she just doesn't get as excited to see me anymore (I actually think she gets a little jealous of the attention the boys get/give)

:pac::pac::pac:

Menas · 09-01-2016 11:10AM

Mesrine65 wrote: »

I tell my boys (my dogs), daddy loves them every morning when I get up & every evening when I come in from work, just because of the fuss they make when they see me

I tell the OH the same, she just doesn't get as excited to see me anymore (I actually think she gets a little jealous of the attention the boys get/give) :pac::pac::pac:

Do you not tell your motorbike you love it?!!

Drakares · 09-01-2016 11:14AM

lazybones32 wrote: »

My brother still calls me a fagg0t for doing so.

What a nice, grown up lad.

09-01-2016 12:51PM

kingtiger wrote: »

well said Perseploy

btw I love you for your post

Arrah go on outtadat

Turtyturd · 09-01-2016 01:16PM

Never use it with my parents as we never really had that kind of relationship but my Mam has been trying to bring everyone closer in the last few years and will often drop it in at the end of a phone call, I can't bring myself to say it back so get the kids to do it.

Would say it to my OH and the kids quite a bit, and they would often come up out of the blue and say it back which is nice....most of the time, as the youngest has figured out that coming up and hugging me while saying 'love you Daddy' or 'you're the best Daddy ever' means I can't be mad at him for whatever he has just done.

09-01-2016 01:41PM

I don't think I've ever told anyone in my family I love them. We are just not that type of family! Don't tend to hug them either.. I'd hug my dad alright as he is the hugging type and I only see him once every 2-3 years usually. But I never hug my Mother or siblings. We are all still very close but not really like that! Not the most affectionate family. Still love them though of course..feels weird even typing that.

Don't tell my friends I love them either.

I'd tell my boyfriend I love him alright but that's the only person really.

December2012 · 09-01-2016 04:26PM

I tell my family that I love them at all appropriate opportunities

I tell my husband and children that I love them all the time. My eldest now, when she's feeling annoyed at me or giving out sometimes says "mammy I am very cross with your behavior, but I still love you" in her cross mini voice!

My husband and I text her each randomly during the day with a "love you" message.

Sometimes I get a feeling of immense appreciation for my parents and I ring my Mam (dad is dead) just to tell her I love her.

It's always sincere. And I love saying it. I'm a lucky lady to love so many people.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 09-01-2016 04:40PM

Tell my mother and siblings all the time, at the end of phonecalls, getting on the bus, when someone's going to bed. My brother also does that thing on the phone where if he's with the lads he'll be embarrassed to say it so it's all 'Ok, bye, I love you' 'Ah, yup, OK, you too' :pac:

Weird thing is, I can remember our dad telling us every day that he loved us when we were little, but since we've been adults he's gotten super uncomfortable about it. I did once kind of give out to him about it because I'd always say it at the end of phonecalls and he'd just go 'OK, thanks bye' and he made an effort to do it for a while but I could see he didn't like doing it so I just dropped it. He's more of a show-don't-tell kind of man.

Been telling the boyfriend every day since about two weeks after we started going out, it just slipped out. Lucky he didn't run a mile tbh

Mr. CooL ICE · 09-01-2016 05:16PM

Nope. Pretty much never say it. Come to think of it, the last time I said it was when snuggling up to my parents' dog when I was hungover.

Antar Bolaeisk · 09-01-2016 06:05PM

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Nope. Pretty much never say it. Come to think of it, the last time I said it was when snuggling up to my parents' dog when I was hungover.

Was it unrequited?

I tend not to say it to anybody... I'm probably just weird though.

Saying 'I love you' to someone other than a wife, husband, partner

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